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The Sith Lord and the Scientist Section E - Part 3

DAY 28

I can’t do anything too strenuous yet, and spending time in the salle with Ani is weeks away, but he is still keeping me busy. If I start to project emotionally without conscious control of it, he gives my shields a rap. The mental taps he uses start out lightly, with not much Force behind them, but he increases that until it hurts if I don’t heed his warnings. It’s an effective way to ensure I have learned my lesson in how to keep my empathy on a leash. This morning, as a test, he has been doing his best to provoke me into doing exactly what he doesn’t want me to do.

His topic of choice, at the moment, is what plans he has for me once the children are in school and I am stuck on Coruscant with them while he is on active duty.

‘I am not going to sit around all day in your castle, doing nothing, and being your trophy wife,’ I growl at him.

‘You need to be where I know you will be completely secure,’ he counters in return. ‘If I need to lock you in here to do that, I will.’

‘Then you should stay here with me instead of running around with the fleet,’ I suggest. ‘Somebody else can do that.’

‘Impossible. The only way to effectively stamp out the Rebels is to deal with them myself,’ the Sith Lord states.

I glare at him. That’s a ridiculous excuse, and he knows it. Thrawn could be called back from whatever he is doing and sent after the Rebels. The Grand Admiral is more than competent enough for that task. My husband is just being difficult.

‘If you are going to work at chasing Rebels, then I want a job, too,’ I demand. ‘Something at the university, maybe, where I can be useful.’

‘No,’ Ani refuses. ‘It would be too difficult to protect you there, out in public.’

‘Then at least let me do some research in your castle,’ I back off a little. ‘Perhaps a project looking at planetary evolution. I miss that.’

‘No,’ he repeats, this time waving a finger at me. ‘I want you to focus on other things, like your Force training and ‘saber skills.’

I get up from my chair and stomp out of his office. There is no way I am going to lose my temper in his presence and end up receiving a lecture for it. He follows me through his quarters into our bedroom.

‘Maia,’ he calls to me.

I stop in place, but don’t turn to face him. Right now, I would rather be left alone instead of continuing an argument I know he won’t let me win.

‘You cannot out stubborn me about this, so there is no point in wasting your time trying,’ he tells me. ‘I need you to be safe when I am not with you, and I need to know you won’t be doing anything foolish to put yourself at risk. If locking you in here and setting a guard on you is what that requires, then that is what I will do.’

‘You need?’ I question, letting my frustration show in my tone of voice. ‘Have you ever considered what I might need, or how much I worry when you are on active duty, or in battle, or have chosen to put yourself in danger? I need to know you are safe, too.’ Silence from him, so I continue talking. ‘Anakin, on my home world I had a job. I had a purpose. I had students and colleagues. I did research and contributed. Here, I do very little other than be your wife and mother of your children. When you give me a task, it’s what you want me to do or an exercise in occupying my time. At least let me do something meaningful to me, even if it’s only describing a new mineral.’

Gloved hands settle on my shoulders and I wonder if I have been too honest or said too much.

‘If I can’t provoke a reaction from you by denying you your freedom and threatening to lock you up,’ my husband admits, ‘then I doubt I will trigger one any other way unless I attempt to harm you or our children.’

I close my eyes in exasperation and try to step out of his grasp. He should have realized by now, after hours of this, that I won’t lose control over my empathy when he tries to incite a response. His hands hold me firmly in place.

‘I am tired of your tests, Ani,’ I say quietly, ‘and just … tired. I am going to lie down and rest for a while.’

He caresses my cheek with his left hand and releases me from his other.

‘Go rest, little goddess,’ he tells me. ‘Future plans can wait for another time, another day.’

***

I let her go, and watch her settle in for a nap, waiting until she is curled up underneath my cloak, the one she has kept close at hand since Hapes, before I leave her to sleep in peace. My trying to provoke her has made her cranky and frustrated, but not once did her emotions escape her control.

Retreating to my office, I sit at my desk and look at the most recent batch of reports I have been sent. The project at Endor has fallen behind schedule to the point where I expect I will be dispatched to speed up the work fairly soon. Palpatine will wait a week, but no more than two before I am ordered back to the fleet and on my way. Time has almost run out, as have my options, for changing the future Maia’s foreseeing dreams have revealed. I need to gain what advantages I can if I am to survive and there are few to easily be had.

I stare at the crate with the prosthetics. Swapping the ones I have now for those is more than tempting, and if the specs on them are accurate, the adjustment period should be short. They are more lifelike, highly sensitive, and stronger than any available in the Empire.

It is an easy decision to make.

‘Two-onebee,’ I comm the surgical droid in my castle’s Medcenter, ‘I have a task for you.’

***

‘Wake up, gorgeous,’ Ani teases me.

I open my eyes, but don’t move. Why is he interrupting my nap?

‘I have a job for you,’ he tries a different way to motivate me.

I shut my eyes again and debate whether to go back to sleep or get up. His footsteps draw closer. The Sith Lord is not going to take my unspoken ‘no’ and reluctance to stir for an answer.

‘I know you need to sleep and don’t want to move from where you are comfortable, but this is important,’ he tells me.

His weight settles next to me on the bed.

‘Isolder gifted me with a set of Hapan built prosthetics,’ my husband reveals. ‘They are superior to the ones I currently have so I am having them swapped today.’

A finger traces the gold band on my left hand. He wants me to look after his wedding ring and keep him company when he will be relatively helpless. I did this for him once before.

‘Ani, I am tired and my stomach is a little sore,’ I admit. ‘Can’t it wait a few hours?’

I sense him considering how to answer that. He knows that if he insists, I will usually comply.

‘There might be a way to speed your healing,’ he offers, ‘but you will need to come to Medical for that.’

‘Help me sit up, then,’ I ask of him, giving up on staying in bed.

When he pulls me up into his arms, I take advantage of his closeness, wrapping myself around him. He smells of new leather, and freshly spun and woven rycrit wool, having discarded the armour he had worn on Hapes for two new sets. The contact is soothing, comforting to me, so I lean into him.

‘Back to wanting to be held all the time?’ he observes. ‘You know I will oblige you whenever I can, and if I could kiss you, I would.’

His mask makes that impossible at the moment, and that won’t be coming off until tonight. I tip my head up and look into his eyes through the lenses. Every exhalation he makes heats my nose and mouth. Ani could use illusion to fake a kiss, like he did on Garqi, and I wonder what my lips really came into contact with that day.

‘My mask’s breathscreen,’ he admits, sounding rather amused at my thoughts. ‘There’s only so much an illusion can easily conceal. Your mind expected my human lips on yours, though, so that is what you felt.’

‘And back home?’ I risk a question about that night - the one night he spent with me on Earth which he has always been reluctant to talk about, the night he took my virginity from me and Mikal was conceived.

He hesitates.

‘Ani?’ I prod.

‘I took my helmet off,’ he reveals. ‘I can do that for short periods of time outside of a sealed environment, if I must. That night, I needed to touch you, to kiss you, to feel your lips and body against mine with as little of my armour between us as I could manage, and my attention was too divided to maintain a full illusion. Making love to you was what was foremost on my mind. There was less illusion involved and more of my armour off than you might think.’

I don’t press him for more than that. He wanted me and I wanted him. If it hadn’t happened that particular night, it would have been within days of arriving on the Executor after he returned us there, or on Earth following our wedding, if he had decided to stay with me rather than leave. In either case, I doubt he would have been willing to wait or delay consummating our Sith vows for very long.

Ani shifts me so that my cheek is resting against his shoulder then slides his arms under my knees and behind my back. When he lifts me from the bed, I smile a little and lock my arms around his neck. If he wants to play the knight gallant and carry me off to Medical, I won’t complain.  He sets me on my feet once we are at the turbolift, choosing to offer a supporting arm at my waist instead.

I have spent plenty of time in the medical wing of his castle and much of it is familiar to me, but he steers us to a room I have not yet been inside. It is dominated by a clear tank of light blue liquid in the center. The new prosthetics are set out on a table, beside the surgical bed he will be on and the ‘droid surgeon who will be performing the procedures. While Ani removes his armour, I find a chair to sit in and watch him, thinking about what he must have left on and stripped off that night on Earth.

‘I have reviewed Lady Vader’s file,’ I hear the droid answer one of my husband’s questions. ‘The bacta will heal her, if she can tolerate the time in the tank needed for it to be effective.’

I stare at them both.

‘What?’ I blurt out.

‘Come over here,’ my husband calls to me.

I make my way to his side as he lies back on the surgical table. He reaches his left hand to me, so I slide the plain gold ring from his finger and hold it tight in my hand. It will be my job to replace it once his new arm is attached. Rather than look at what Two-onebee is doing, I keep my eyes on the Sith Lord’s mask.

‘Two-onebee has suggested that soaking in the bacta tank would help you heal faster,’ Ani tries his own way to distract me. ‘You will need an eight hour treatment, but instead of waiting six weeks you would be back to normal activities in one or two.’

‘You want me to go in that thing?’ I ask, pointing to the tank. ‘Seriously?’

‘I didn’t mention it before because I know you can become extremely claustrophobic if you are enclosed for too long,’ he tells me. ‘Most people have to be sedated when they go in one or they panic.’

Somehow I know he has spent plenty of time in one of the things himself, and probably without being drugged. Myself, I don’t think I could do it, medicated or not.

Ani flinches as the droid checks the responses from his new left arm. It looks completely real to me, the synthflesh blending seamlessly with his skin colour and texture. When he holds his hand up, I slide his wedding ring back into place. The Sith Lord’s touch on my cheek and face is feather-light, delicate, and when he rolls a lock of my hair between his fingers I can sense his smile.

‘Far more sensitive,’ he reveals. ‘I can feel the change in your skin between cheek and jaw, and each strand of hair as it runs through my fingers.’ He uses the Force to call a metal bar to him then bends it effortlessly. ‘Strength is adequate, and no damage to the synthflesh,’ he adds, examining his new hand in detail. ‘The Hapans deserve their reputation, in this, at least.’

While Ani goes through the other three replacements, I wander over to the bacta tank and examine it. Six weeks is a long time to be on restricted activities, and I am growing bored and restless after less than two. Not being able to work out in the salle or duel with my husband was frustrating when I was pregnant and is more so now. I need something to do. Minutes pass as I consider my options, then I make a decision.

‘What’s it like to be in it?’ I ask my husband.

‘Boring,’ is his short reply.

I hear him test his new legs, walking, jumping, and kicking with them. Everything seems to have gone well. A moment later, he is standing next to me. I turn to look at him.

‘Be honest,’ I scold him.

‘It’s boring,’ he repeats. ‘There is nothing to do except float in it for hours. The bacta is at body temperature so you don’t feel anything from it that way, but it is thick and sticky, and sickly-sweet smelling like the Queen Mother’s perfume. I can never wash it off fast enough once I am out.’

***

I sense her internal debate about whether to risk the bacta tank or not. In the past few days my wife has been restless and not sure what to do with herself. Part of that is a result of losing our son and knowing there will be no more children in our future. Her focus had been on raising our family, but now, she understandably wants more than that. Healing her physically will help; the rest will follow after that.

‘Do you want to try it?’ I suggest. ‘If there is a problem, I will have Two-onebee remove you immediately. It will be perfectly safe.’

Her eyes stay on my mask when she nods.

‘You will need to change and braid your hair out of the way,’ I tell her, pointing to where the robe she needs is stored and the cubicle she can change in for privacy.

‘I’ll be quick,’ she replies.

When she emerges, she is clad in a large, knee-length white medical gown more suited for me than for her, and a bit self-conscious about it. I take her hand and lead her up the steps, to the top of the tank the droid has opened. My wife doesn’t object to the mask which fits snugly over her face or to my adjusting it. Two-onebee attaches the monitor leads and the harness which will lower and raise her into the tank while I do that.

‘Sit on the edge and put your feet in,’ I instruct. ‘When you are ready, slowly slide into it. The harness will keep you suspended in the middle of the tank.’

She dips the toes of one foot in and yanks them back.

‘Yuck!’ Maia exclaims. ‘It feels like goo. Slimy and squishy. Not at all like a liquid.’

The foot goes back in. This time she leaves it there. Her other one eventually joins it. I watch her for a few minutes. She’s still uncertain about this and having an argument with herself. When her hands reach for me and take mine, I am sure she intends to abandon her attempt to enter the tank, but instead she lowers herself into the bacta, only letting go of me once her head is below the surface.

This stuff feels disgusting, she tells me.

I descend the access stairs and stop in front of the tank. My wife is floating in the center of it, her eyes wide open and staring at me. Intending to help settle her nerves, I rest my right hand against the transparent container, and see her match it with her left. As long as I stay here with her, she will be able to cope; the minute I leave the room and am out of her sight, she will panic.

Close your eyes and let me tell you a story, I say to her. Once, many years ago, I was sent on a diplomatic mission to a planet where skill at thievery was considered a social asset, and someone stole my lightsaber...

As I speak, Two-onebee begins to add a sedative gas to the air Maia is breathing. Her hand slips away from where mine is resting and her mind begins to drift into sleep. I continue my tale until I am sure she will not wake then fall silent.

‘Rest, my love, and heal,’ I tell her, removing my hand from the wall of the bacta tank. To the droid, I add, ‘I will return in eight hours. It would be best if I am the one who wakes her up and pulls her out. She is less likely to panic that way.’

***

I feel my mind drift away from Ani’s story and into a strange dream where I am back at home, with him, having never left Earth to return to his flagship. Instead of knocking me out, climbing into his TIE with me and flying back to the Executor, he pulls me close and holds me in his arms for a long time. Then, he tells me he has decided to stay, that I am more important to him than the Empire or his old life in it. Our lives unfold from there; his as a military consultant and design engineer working with my father, mine as an academic and his wife. My mother figures out how to manage Ani’s medical needs and all of us settle into a quiet daily routine. One day, we are in my grandfather’s greenhouse, sitting on a bench in the center of it, watching Mikal play with my mother’s cat and the twins chasing after my brother Jamie in a game of tag. My husband has his arms around me and our second son is sleeping on a blanket at our feet.

Maia, I hear Ani call my name. You need to wake up.

I ignore him. It’s peaceful in my dream, everyone I love is there, and I don’t want to leave it.

You must wake up, love, he insists.

His persistence banishes my fantasy. I open my eyes to see a distorted vision of him standing in front of me. Surrounding me is a thick blue glop, pressing against my body, and smothering me. In a panic, I try to hold my breath and flail my arms in an attempt to escape.

Breathe, my husband orders. You are wearing a mask, so breathe.

I do as I am told and match his hand with mine when he rests his on the transparent wall between us. He doesn’t move until he knows I have calmed down, then he climbs the steps to the top of the bacta tank. It must be time for me to come out. The harness tightens as I am raised slowly upwards. Ani allows the bacta to drip off of me and back into the tank for a minute or two before he swings me to the side and detaches the harness from the lift. When I feel the cold air on my wet skin, I shiver a little. Being in the bacta was warm, but the room the tank is in is not. While Ani helps Two-onebee remove the mask, medical gear, and the harness, I concentrate on remembering the details of my dream. I like that strange alternate life I was imagining.

‘Wrap yourself up a bit,’ I am told as my husband hands me a large robe. ‘You can shower, here, and have a bath, later.’

For once I don’t protest his suggestion. I hate showers, but the slimy bacta all over me feels worse than water spraying in my face will.

‘A shower will be good,’ I admit.

‘Let me show you where it is,’ he replies.

The shower is tucked into a corner and thankfully, hidden from public view. I set it to a fairly hot temperature and scrub myself as thoroughly as I can. My hair is glued together by the bacta and takes more attention than the rest of me, but I know I won’t feel completely clean until I have a proper soak in the bath.

‘Your clothes,’ Ani offers, holding a stack of garments for me once I step out of the shower stall.

His eyes are on me, staring at my naked body. I can sense where this would lead us, if I encourage it, and at the moment, I want him rather desperately.

‘Checking out how well the bacta worked?’ I tease him.

‘Obviously,’ he replies in kind.

A gloved finger reaches over and traces the fine white scar across my lower abdomen. The second one has completely disappeared and the pain from both surgeries is also gone. I feel good, better than I have in weeks - lightheaded, and a bit giddy even. Bacta definitely has had a weird effect on me.

‘Entirely healed,’ he observes. ‘Leanan should examine you again. The bacta may have been more effective than Two-onebee predicted.’

‘I really don’t want to be poked and prodded by the doctor,’ I decide.

‘Unfortunately, necessary in this case,’ my husband reminds me.

I step closer to him, and tap his chest with a finger.

‘If anyone is going to put something in me, it will be you,’ I boldly state my desires.

‘Now? Here?’ he asks, sounding surprised I would suggest it.

‘Right here, right now, husband,’ I confirm. ‘No excuses, either. My body has healed and I want you in it.’

***

I stare at her, shocked by her forwardness and what is for her, wanton approach. Bacta can sometimes trigger strange emotional reactions, but a craving for sex is not one I have ever had, nor one that I am aware of.

‘In my quarters, after the doctor examines you,’ I reluctantly refuse her, ‘and only if she approves.’

Her eyes narrow in frustration. I hand her clothes to her, resisting the temptation to give in and let her have what she wants.

‘Leanan is in her office, next door. Meet me there once you are dressed,’ I say, making my escape as soon as she has taken her garments from me.

I won’t have much time to speak with the doctor privately, so I hurry to her office. She is there, quietly reading when I burst in on her.

‘I need your help,’ I quickly explain the situation. ‘The healing appears to be complete but she’s had a peculiar emotional reaction to the bacta, and it’s one I have never experienced or heard of before.’

Leanan’s eyebrow goes up. She knows that for me to ask for her help it must be serious. I shift my weight from one foot to the other. How do I say what I need to without embarrassing myself?

‘Go on,’ the doctor tells me.

‘She’s…’ I start, but stop when Maia comes in.

‘Right here,’ my wife says, ‘and wanting to get this over with. Hurry up and quickly check me out. I have plans for what I want to do with my husband tonight and would rather not delay that.’

I watch the two women leave the office for Leanan’s examination room. They won’t be gone for very long. The doctor is efficient at what she does and rarely wastes time. When they return, I know from Maia’s smile that she won’t need another soak in the bacta.

‘She’s fine,’ the doctor makes her short report. ‘Healed inside and out, but I would recommend slowly returning to the previous activity level rather than rushing into everything. Take it easy for a while.’

Good, my wife tells me privately. Tonight you are mine - all mine.

‘I’ll go see to the children and have a bath,’ she adds aloud, excusing herself.

I wait until she is out the door, down the corridor, and in the turbolift before I turn back to the doctor.

‘She’s sex-mad,’ I finally manage to say what I wanted to earlier.

‘In a sense, yes, you could describe it that way. Your wife is experiencing the effects of high levels of sex hormones in her body,’ Leanan reveals. ‘The accelerated healing from the bacta has affected her cycle. She’s not only at a fertile peak far sooner than she should be after giving birth, but being driven by that emotionally. Her body wants her to mate and reproduce.’ The look I receive is slightly amused, rather sympathetic, and almost pitying. ‘All she could talk about was you and getting back to your quarters, my Lord.’

***

I lounge on the bed and watch my husband through half-closed eyes as he pours himself a glass of his favourite Corellian Reserve brandy to drink. He’s done everything he can to delay coming to bed. First it was playtime with Mikal and the twins, then putting them to bed, and after that dealing with a few comm-calls. His armour is off so he can’t use removing it as yet another way to postpose the inevitable. Waiting for him has been frustrating for me because all I want to do is strip away our clothes and let him have his way with me.

‘Come here, wife’ he orders.

I obey, humouring him. Once I am near, he pulls me close then kisses me. His lips are cold from the alcohol and sweet from the liquor. When I open my mouth to him, he takes advantage of that, teasing me with his tongue before he lets me go.

‘How do you want me?’ he asks, taking another sip from his glass. ‘Don’t be shy. I need to know exactly what you want me to do.’

‘Office on the desk, on the rug in front of the fire, here in the bed,’ I list, shyly adding the last, ‘in your armour?’

‘Armour for all or just some?’

‘On your desk and in here,’ I decide. ‘We can finish on the rug with you out of it and curl up in front of the fire for the night.’

‘Positions you prefer me to use?’ he adds another layer of detail for me to decide.

‘I don’t know,’ I admit. ‘Whatever works best for you.’

‘Not for me, for you,’ he turns my reply back on me, finally finishing his drink. ‘You pick.’

I nervously bite my lip. Whatever boldness I had earlier has fled in the face of the Sith Lord asking for all the specifics. Normally I don’t really think about what our lovemaking involves. It either just happens or he takes the lead. Having total control over it and what he will do feels odd.

‘Decide at the time?’ I evade having to give an answer.

‘Other things you would like me to do?’ he hints.

His voice is growing husky as the brandy takes a slight hold on him. Rather than neutralize its effects, the Sith Lord is letting it shape his mood.

‘Kiss me?’ I request.

‘On the mouth or…?’

I smile at him. He so rarely gives me an opportunity to tease him this way.

‘Everywhere,’ I tease. ‘In here, on the Executor’s bridge, in front of the Emperor…’

He shuts me up with his mouth on mine. His fingers slide down my face, to my breasts. I know he is enjoying the more delicate touch his new prosthetics allow. The hand caressing my breast moves lower, to my waist, to be joined by his other. I bring my fingers up to his hair and run them through it, producing a low moan from him in response. It seems I am not the only one who is more than willing and ready, but I want to play a little.

‘Play a game with me, Anakin,’ I suggest when I pull back from our kiss.

‘Changed your mind so soon?’ he asks. ‘Wanting to play a game of Go? Or perhaps Holochess?’

‘Not that type of game,’ I tell him. ‘Put your armour on.’

‘Ah, you just want the armoured Sith Lord to ravish you in my office and especially in our bed,’ he teases me. ‘I should have expected that since it is your favourite way to have me.’

‘Not quite,’ I admit, ‘but you’ll find out.’

I give him a quick kiss on the mouth, slip out of his arms and leave him to dress. We’ll need something to clean up with, so I fill a bowl with water, put it on the table and grab a few towels from the ‘fresher to go with it. While Ani fusses with his surcoat, I pull a new nightgown from my storage drawer and change into it. For tonight, I want him to think of me like he did on Earth, so I brush out my hair and let it fall loosely down my back rather than braid it. When I am ready, I turn around, to find myself caught in his arms again.

‘So, my wife, what have you planned?’ his curiosity is apparent. ‘Shall I carry you into my office, lay you on my desk and have my way with you?’

I reach up and touch the cheek of his mask.

‘I had a dream when I was in the bacta,’ I admit. ‘We had stayed on Earth, with my family, and our children were born there.’ Looking up at his mask, I tell him, ‘I want you to pretend that we are on Earth and it’s our wedding night. You waited until we were married, in my dream, so I want you, in your armour, to make love to me as if it were the very first time.’

He is silent, considering and weighing my request. I haven’t asked for us to role play during sex before, so maybe he thinks it is a ridiculous thing for us to do and will suggest something else.

‘If you truly want to experience that, I will do it for you,’ he agrees, ‘and I can make it more real for you, if you want. So, how realistic do you want it to be?’

What is my husband up to?

‘All you can do,’ I admit. ‘I want to experience it as it would really be.’

He slides a hand below my waist, setting it over my pubic bone. Heat radiates outward, downward, and inward from where his hand is resting. I feel a pull on previously torn tissues as they bind themselves tightly together. He hasn’t, has he? That’s impossible.

‘It’s simple to do, when you know how to go about it,’ he reveals. ‘Now, Maia, you are a virgin once more, if only temporarily. You will hurt and probably bleed when I enter you, and you could be sore for a day or two, just like you were after Carida. Don’t complain about the pain after we are done when you are the one who asked me to play Sith Lord and the virgin with you and to make it realistic. Now, are you ready for the next bit?’

His mind touches mine so I let him in, curious what he might do to me. Memories fade, blur. I feel slightly detached, a part of me knowing we have been married for years, and another unaware of that completely.

I am hiding your memories so you will react as if the scenario you want us to act out is real, Ani tells me. You will remember everything again after, but during it, you won’t. It’s a form of temporary memory suppression. To be fair, I will be doing the same thing to myself.

He gives my mind a sharp rap and I fall forward, into his arms, into blackness and silence.

***

The unsteadiness quickly passes as does my blurred vision. I look down at who I am holding, the woman I gave up everything for, my guide and support in my new life here on this world, my most beloved new wife. She is limp in my arms, having fainted earlier, before I carried her here, to our bridal chamber. Today has been stressful for her, and I know she worried about everything - her dress, the ceremony, the formal meal which followed, that all would go well, and that tonight ... that tonight I would make love to her for the first time.

She stirs in my arms, finally waking.

‘Maia,’ I soothe her. ‘It’s alright.’

Her head tips up as she looks at me.

‘You had a fainting spell,’ I tell her, ‘so I thought it best to bring you here where it is quiet.’

Quiet and away from the prying eyes of everyone who is curious about what will happen between us tonight. I know there are some who expect me to treat her roughly or worse, to force myself on her. My reputation is well known even on this isolated planet, but I would never hurt my wife in that manner. She will only receive kindness from me.

I carefully set her on her feet, and feel her slight weight as she sets her cheek on my chest and sighs. In return I caress her face with my fingers, lightly, gently. This I have done many times before, and it has become our equivalent of my kisses. Her body leans closer to me for support, but I can feel the division and conflict within her. My wife wants me almost desperately in a sexual way but is also fearful of that final intimacy and the pain which could come with it. I pull her hair back from her face and tuck it behind her ear. She is not at all afraid of me or my touch; her fear is centered on the pain she might experience the first time we do it more than on the act itself.

‘So what do I call you?’ she teases me. ‘I can’t really ‘my Lord’ you to death when it’s just us.’

I deserve that not so subtle jab, I decide, remembering how I once insisted she always use the formal address in public. Now, that title and my Sith name are close to meaningless to me. My old name, though, I have chosen to reclaim.

‘You know my name is Anakin,’ I remind her. ‘That is what I chose to use in the ceremony today, and it’s the name I want you to know me by, so call me that.’

***

When I open my eyes, I feel horribly unsteady and dizzy, and find myself being held tight in someone’s arms, securely cradled against a firm, armoured body. From the regulated breathing above my head, I know exactly who it is: my new husband, Darth Vader, Lord of the Sith.

‘Maia,’ that deep baritone voice I love so much soothes me. ‘It’s alright.’

I look up into his mask.

‘You had a fainting spell,’ he tells me, ‘so I thought it best to bring you here where it is quiet.’

He’s holding me in his arms, gently, carefully, as if he might break me by squeezing too tightly. I rest my cheek on his chest and let out a sigh. Today was stressful and hectic. Now, it’s just the two of us and I know he will keep me safe and protected. My husband puts me down, so I lean into his chest. His fingers caress my cheek. Part of me desperately wants him to touch me somewhere else and with something other than his hand. The other part is a bundle of nerves and wants to flee from what I know will happen tonight.

‘So what do I call you?’ I tease him. ‘I can’t really ‘my Lord’ you to death when it’s just us.’

‘You know my name is Anakin,’ he reminds me. ‘That is what I chose to use in the ceremony today, and it’s the name I want you to know me by, so call me that.’

His gloved fingers rest against my lips, brushing them lightly, delicately. I rest the tips of mine on his breathscreen in return, feeling the heated air on each exhalation. This is the closest we can come to a proper kiss.

***

I touch her lips with my fingers, gently, lightly, a kiss to her mouth, yet not a kiss. She raises her fingers to my breathscreen, leaving them there for a moment. The soft smell of the delicate perfume she is wearing on her wrist floods my helmet, whose scent filters I have disabled temporarily. Earlier, during the ceremony, I could smell the flowers she carried and the rose petals we were showered with after that was finished. I want to remember today in as many ways as I can, but kissing her on the mouth won’t be one of them.

‘I wish I could kiss you,’ I tell her.

‘Your mask is a nuisance,’ she complains, as she has before.

‘A necessary nuisance,’ I agree.

It won’t be a barrier between us much longer. I know what her parents were so busy planning and working on as our wedding gift - a pressurized room for my wife and I where my helmet and armour can come off. When we return home, it will be there, waiting for us.

She shifts in my arms, peers behind me to the table set with a basin of water and towels. Her reaction is to hide her eyes from seeing that reminder of what I have planned for tonight, burying her face in my robes to conceal it from her sight. Perhaps I need to directly raise the topic which she has so diligently gone out of her way to avoid discussing with me, since we now have no choice other than to deal with it. My wife might be shy about discussing sex with her spouse, but I am not.

‘Being nervous and afraid the first time you have sex with someone is normal,’ I tell her, ‘and I know you are a virgin.’

‘You do?’ she quietly says, still keeping her face hidden against my chest.

‘I do. It was rather obvious, given how shy you have been and how you have carefully avoided discussing the subject of tonight with me,’ I state. ‘I also know your friend Liz has told you what to expect.’

I knew Maia would never come to me for the information she needs to help her through tonight, so I asked her friend to talk to her in my stead. Thankfully Liz was willing and able to speak to my wife in a way which didn’t embarrass her too much. Most of that conversation, what little of it I overheard, involved speculations about me, guesses as to my sexual prowess, and much laughter.

‘You know it might be painful and with some bleeding,’ I remind her, ‘but there could be no pain or blood at all. We won’t know what will happen until we try it.’ I caress her cheek. ‘Be brave, little goddess, don’t be afraid, and know that if you tell me it hurts and ask me to stop that I will.’

My hands slide down to my wife’s waist as I pull her tight against my body. That close contact with her, and my own anticipation and desires prompt an erection which is held in and hidden by my codpiece. It’s too soon for that, I decide, she’s not ready emotionally or physically yet. I need to be patient and accustom her to my touch, first.

***

I shift a little, look past him to see what is laid out on the table. Someone has prepared for tonight and what we will be doing. My cheeks heat up with embarrassment. If he didn’t know for certain, he must have suspected. Burying my face against his surcoat so he can’t see it, I try to relax and calm my nerves.

‘Being nervous and afraid the first time you have sex with someone is normal,’ the Sith Lord tells me, ‘and I know you are a virgin.’

‘You do?’ I say into his chest.

‘I do. It was rather obvious, given how shy you have been and how you have carefully avoided discussing the subject of tonight with me,’ he reveals. ‘I also know your friend Liz has told you what to expect.’ Anakin pauses, no doubt thinking of what he should say to me. ‘You know it might painful and with some bleeding,’ he reminds me, ‘but there could be no pain or blood at all. We won’t know what will happen until we try it.’ His fingers brush my cheek. ‘Be brave, little goddess, don’t be afraid, and know that if you tell me it hurts and ask me to stop that I will.’

His hands return to my waist, pulling me in tight to his body. I can feel the bulge under his codpiece, and know that he is ready even if I am not. Calm, I remind myself, relax and settle yourself. He loves you enough to give up everything he had in the Empire to stay on Earth and be with you. The last thing he would ever do is harm you. Remember that he is experienced at this where you are not, and he knows he will probably hurt you a little at first so he will be careful.

‘Come, sit with me,’ he suggests.

I let him lead me to the bed and sit beside him on it. He keeps my hand in his, gently massaging the palm. His touch feels good and my mind starts to drift a little, relaxing as he continues the pressure against my skin.

‘Don’t fall asleep on me,’ he warns.

My response is to be bold, to wrap my arms around his neck and kiss the cheek of his mask. He pulls me in tight then shifts me slightly so he can look directly into my eyes.

‘I won’t do anything you don’t consent to,’ he reassures me. ‘Say stop and I will, at any time.’

‘I love you and I want you,’ I shyly admit. ‘I want you to make love to me.’

‘Then you shall have me, my love,’ Anakin agrees, ‘but first I need to help your body get ready for me since you don’t know how to do that for yourself yet.’

***

‘Come sit with me,’ I suggest.

Delaying tactics to relax her and strategically move her over to the bed. I lead her to the other side of the room, sit beside her and keep her hand in mine. She’s still nervous, so I massage her hand, using the pressure points in it to help her relax. As I work, the tension in her body eases, and her eyes begin to close as her breathing slows.

‘Don’t fall asleep on me,’ I tell her.

Her response is an unexpected one. She throws her arms around my neck and kisses the cheek of my mask. If only I wasn’t stuck wearing this cursed helmet. It would be her lips on mine, mine on hers, and this evening would be so much easier. I move her a little, turn my head to face her, and look directly into her eyes. What I will tell her is important so I need to make sure she understands it.

‘I won’t do anything you don’t consent to,’ I state clearly. ‘Say stop and I will, at any time.’

‘I love you and I want you,’ she reveals, blushing a little as she says it. ‘I want you to make love to me.’

‘Then you shall have me, my love,’ I accept her request, ‘but first I need to help your body get ready for me since you don’t know how to do that for yourself yet.’

Her desire and need for me has won over her fear of what I might do and the pain which could come with that. She needs to be comfortable, so I rearrange the pillows, and make sure she is settled on them before I leave her side. My cloak will be in the way, and so will the surcoat. I take them off and fold them over the back of a chair. Maia’s eyes are on me as I do this and I can sense her curiosity about what I will do next. When I sit beside her, there is no fear in her, so I reach down and run a finger from the palm of her hand to her shoulder, repeating that on the other side. She quickly does the same to me, and begins to explore my armour with her fingers. I feel little of what she does, but don’t stop her. Let her satisfy her curiosity about my armour as I am mine about her body and her responses to me. As I continue to touch her, she relaxes, but I need her to feel something else, too.

I increase the pressure from my hands, choosing where and how I touch her carefully. Her breathing changes, becoming more rapid as the effects I need replace the relaxation and sleepiness I first prompted in her. When her hands grab mine, I know I have been successful.

***

He pulls the pillows about, arranging them so I can lie back on them. I make myself comfortable and watch as he removes his cloak and surcoat, dropping both on a chair out of the way. Next, he resumes his place beside me on the bed, his hands reaching down to trace light paths all over my body. It should be ticklish, but isn’t. Instead, it feels like electricity running across my skin. I bring my hands up to touch him, tracing the patterns on his leather armour, the shape of his chest box, the angles of his mask. We explore one another in this way until he changes the nature of what he is doing to me. Butterflies appear in my stomach and my hands grab his, stopping him from touching me temporarily.

‘Feels good and feels weird,’ I admit, not sure what to think or do.

He laughs at my evaluation and moves his hands to my feet. I can’t reach him to touch him with my fingers any longer, so I wait to see what he does to me, instead. This time when his hands come up to my waist, he brings my nightgown with them. His hands slide to the inside of my thighs, gentle, firm, soft, teasing in how he touches me. I can’t stop myself from squirming a bit to try escaping from him. When he finally touches me between my legs, I jump. The pressure he exerts there is delicate, sensitive to my every reaction. As I reach the point where I can’t bear it any longer, he stops.

‘You are almost ready,’ he tells me.

His hands move to his own waist, removing his belt, setting aside the protective codpiece, and parting his leather armour and bodysuit beneath. I panic a little on seeing how big he is. That won’t fit in me, I decide, and I don’t know how he is going to make it fit, despite what Liz told me about how my body will stretch and yield to him.

He doesn’t do what I expect and try pushing himself into me right away. Instead, his hands resume caressing me, gradually pulling my knees up as he positions himself between them. His body feels good against mine and his fingers push me back to that brink, that heady, overwhelming need for him to do something to satisfy my increasingly frustrated body. My body tenses, and I throw my head back, arching up against him, only to feel him thrust deeply into me, burying himself completely in one slow, smooth and gentle motion, as my world spins around me, my muscles clamping down on him, the pain and shock of his entry mixed with the storm of pleasure he has unleashed.

I scream his name.

Anakin responds by pulling back and thrusting again, just as gently and controlled as he did the first time, triggering more pain and the same pleasurable response in my body. I find myself gasping, begging him not to stop and clawing madly at his back to encourage him. After the third time he does the same thing to me, he changes his movements and I feel him inside me, sliding easily in and out. My turn has passed; it’s his now. He thrusts hard quickly, once, twice, then freezes and gasps, calls out my name, and falls forward on top of me. Leaving him there, my arms securely wrapped around him, I think about what he had done. My husband was kind and gentle, but it still hurt when he first pushed into me, just like I had been warned that it would. After that, it felt good, despite the pain, and the second and third times it was even better. I wonder how many more times he could make me feel like that, and how many times he would be able to make love to me in a night. A hand brushes against my hip, gently, suggestively, possessively.

***

‘Feels good and feels weird,’ she tells me.

That’s an apt evaluation from someone experiencing this for the first time. I laugh a little and run my fingers down the outside of her legs to her feet. The scars she has are familiar ones and I know she is self-conscious about them. Slowly, carefully, I move my hands up again, sliding her white gown out of my way and caressing the inside of her thighs as I go. In reaction, she tries to escape from me. My wife is ticklish, at least in a few places. I change my focus to between her legs for the first time. At my initial touch, she jumps in surprise. My second, I lighten, the third is more firm. She gasps, so I continue, varying what I do until I feel the tension in the muscles of her legs and stomach reach the point I need her to be at.

‘You’re almost ready,’ I say to her.

Now, I need to prepare myself. I take off my belt, remove the codpiece, and open my leather armour and bodysuit. It has been more than two decades since I have had sex with anyone and my body has overreacted to that enforced, prolonged abstinence. My erection is full, throbbing, and demanding that I satisfy myself. Looking at Maia’s face, I see panic written there. Too big, won’t fit, are the uppermost thoughts in her mind.

I need to slow down or her fear of my size will have her muscles close off her body to me and entering her will be difficult for me and quite painful for her. My next touch is to her face, a gentle caress to her lips, kissing her with my fingers before I let my hands drift  lower, repeating what I had done before. Once at her feet, I slide them upwards, bending her knees, and moving her body into the best position for her in relation to mine. We should fit well together, I decide, despite how large I am and how small she is, at the moment.

Timing is my next concern. If I thrust into her now, all she will remember of tonight is the pain I cause to her in doing that, so I will wait until the pleasure I plan to trigger in her will swamp the hurt she will feel. My fingers return to her waist, trace a trail lower and resume gently stroking her. I push her back to the edge, holding her there while her body trembles, keeping up the pressure, brushing lightly, delicately over hypersensitized  flesh  until I know she can bear it no longer. In that instant, I push into her, gently, firmly, feeling the tightness from her maidenhead tear and give way to me as I do so, but not allowing that to stop my forward motion, as her orgasm overwhelms us both, and I cannot fit any more of myself within her. Muscles squeeze hard around me, pulse, roll, and it is all I can do to remain motionless and ride it out with her.

She screams my name and the sound of it is full of pleasure and pain, longing and release.

I pull out and thrust into her again, somehow holding onto enough control to keep my movement back into her as slow and gentle as the first was. Her response when I am completely buried in her is the same: a powerful rolling of muscles which pulse around me, only this time once it is over she is gasping, clawing at my back and demanding more. Once again we repeat the same dance, but at its finish my control is gone. My world narrows to her body enclosing me and my thrusting repeatedly into her, my own breathing coming in gasps as I am driven onwards by necessity and need. Release approaches, so I drive into her hard, once, twice, and then it is over, her name ripped from my throat at the height of it as mine was from hers. I let myself collapse on top of her, covering her body with my own while my chest box fights to return my breathing to its normal pattern.

Her arms fall across my back, holding me secure and close. My thoughts turn to what I had done. Hopefully she will remember very little of the pain I caused and far more of the pleasure I gave to her. Maia’s responses were quick and powerful, born from her need and desire for me, despite her fear and inexperience. She enjoyed herself, tonight, in learning from me, and so did I, in teaching her. I gently caress her hip with my hand. While I want to make love to her again, and I can sense that she is willing, that will have to wait for her to heal.

‘Once is enough on our wedding night,’ I warn her, ‘and you will become very sore if we do too much, too soon. Your body needs time to adjust to my size and to get used to what we will do.’ 

***

‘Once is enough on our wedding night,’ he tells me, ‘and you will become very sore if we do too much, too soon. Your body needs time to adjust to my size and to get used to what we will do.’

His weight presses me down into the bed. He’s heavy and I need him to move off of me.

‘I am being squashed by a Sith Lord,’ I tease him.

My husband stays where he is for a moment.

‘Anakin?’ I call to him. ‘Are you alright?’

He finally pushes himself up, sits back, and pulls out of me. I hurt where he had been in me, and feel sticky and wet, probably from having bled a bit. My husband stares down between us at what must be a mess.

‘You were a virgin,’ he quietly states. Resting his hand on my middle, he pulls it back, and adds, ‘and fertile, too. You have conceived a powerful son for me from this.’

‘Anakin?’ I repeat, becoming alarmed.

He thinks I am pregnant? After the very first time we had sex? Is he serious?

‘I need to clean up,’ he states, sounding a touch dazed, probably from what he has discovered and the prospect of being a father so soon.

***

I stay where I am, locked in her arms, lazing in the warmth and relaxation which follows a good session of sex. It will be better, much better, in quarters where the armour can come off. Then, I will be able to kiss her with my lips and teach her aspects of love making my armour doesn’t allow.

‘I am being squashed by a Sith Lord,’ she teases me.

Sith Lord.

Love is forbidden to a Sith Lord.

I freeze as realization fully hits me. This is my wife, a woman who truly loves me, who is life-bonded to me, and who will never leave me. Who and what I once was do not matter to her. And I love her in return, deeply, wholly, with all my heart and being.

I am a Sith Lord no longer.

‘Anakin?’ she asks me. ‘Are you alright?’

Instead of answering I push myself up and off of her. I am still partially erect and fully inside her, so I pull back, out of her, and look down to see quite a mess. She has bled and that is my doing.

‘You were a virgin,’ I acknowledge that fact. Caressing her middle, I extend my senses within her, checking to see how she is. ‘And fertile, too.’ I tell her when I detect the egg. Curious, I wait, wondering what will happen when my sperm meet it, only to feel the conception of our son when it occurs. ‘You have conceived a powerful son for me from this.’ I reveal, surprised that she is pregnant so soon.

‘Anakin?’ Maia repeats, with some alarm.

I need to sort myself out quickly, wash myself, help her clean up, and calm her fears. My wife wants children and our first one will be arriving far sooner than either of us had planned. Our son is an unexpected wedding present.

‘I need to clean up,’ I tell her, feeling rather flustered by the prospect of looming fatherhood.

Maia is rather unsettled as well. She shakes her head, looks confused and puzzled then falls back against the pillows and stays there with her eyes closed. I let her rest, get up and go to the table. Her maiden’s blood is smeared across my leather body armour and needs to be washed off. With a damp cloth I begin to wipe it away, only to experience double vision and a memory of doing this elsewhere and elsewhen.

My wife is on the bed watching me wash up then it is a younger version of her in an ornate bedroom. I am making love to my wife, then her younger self; both are virgins, both cry out in pain and ecstasy as I first thrust into them, both bleed and stain the sheets and my armour with their maiden’s blood. The juxtapositions flash through my mind, becoming a confusing blur. I shut my eyes and concentrate on what is real and what is not. There is no ornate bedroom, no younger version of my wife, just Maia in my quarters in my castle on Coruscant. We are only playing a game.

***

I shake my head, confused by the memories which start to coalesce in my mind. This is our wedding night, but we have been married for years. He just took my virginity from me, yet I can remember repeatedly making love to him before now. I am newly pregnant with our first son according to him but I have had four children with him already and cannot have another. Falling back against the pillows, I close my eyes and do my best to sort it all out as Ani pushes himself to his feet. While I watch him wash himself with the water and dry off with the towels I had laid out on the table, my mind finally snaps back to reality and I remember the game we had been playing, and what he had done to my memories. The Sith Lord retrieves his codpiece and belt, replaces them quickly then drops the bloodstained cloths he had used on the floor.

‘Anakin?’ I quietly call to him.

He stops what he had been doing and stares at me, frozen in place by what he sees.

‘Kreth, Maia,’ he says, sounding horrified. ‘What have I done to you?’

I finally look down at the sheets and my nightgown. There is blood everywhere. His semen has seeped out of me and mixed into it, too, making it look even worse. Unable to stop myself, I start shaking with shock at what I see and at the pain I feel where he tore me inside.

‘Ani,’ I say quietly to him. ‘I need you to come here and hold me. Now, please, love, right now.’

He rushes to me, pulls me close and holds me tight in his arms.

‘You should have told me I was hurting you,’ he tells me. ‘If you had, I would never have continued.’

‘It felt good,’ I admit. ‘It hurt, but felt good at the same time. I liked that and I didn’t want you to stop.’

He leans back and looks into my face.

‘Pain and sexual pleasure are a very dangerous combination,’ he flatly states. ‘For a Sith, it can become a terrible addiction, far worse than any drug. Tonight, you experienced a taste of what might happen if I am caught in it. I won’t be able to stop or control myself because I will want to feel more of it from you over our bond. I have no desire to ever harm you, Maia, and that could easily happen if we are not careful to avoid it. If anything I do during sex hurts you, you must immediately tell me to stop. Promise me that.’

‘I will be careful what I ask you for,’ I promise, ‘and if I feel any pain, I will tell you to stop.’

His hands caress my face, stroke my breasts, move to my waist then freeze.

‘You’re pregnant with another Force-strong son,’ he repeats what he had said during our game.

The Sith Lord is silent for a minute. I feel his anger building, but it is aimed at himself, not at me.

‘I never should have trusted that doctor when my master insisted they be the one to perform the surgery at Rhinnal,’ Ani berates himself, ‘and I should have ordered Leanan to give me ‘the cut’, his wishes about it all be damned. Tonight, I should have taken precautions, regardless of what that surgery supposedly had done, because Leanan warned me you were at the fertile peak in your cycle and …’

My husband shuts up when I bury my face in his chest and let the tears fall. The doctor had told me, too, why I so desperately wanted sex with him tonight, and I had insisted he make love to me, without any protection, anyway. His hand runs through my hair, but there is no easing my heartache. He knows I won’t let him terminate a pregnancy, despite the risks I will face, so he won’t ask me to do it.

‘We will manage this, little love,’ he reassures me. ‘Somehow we will see this through.’

***

She clings to me and I hold her, soothing her as best I can with gentle touches. My wife is in pain and hurting physically from what I did to her, from what she encouraged me to do. This is one thing I can do something about for her.

‘Let me clean you up,’ I offer, ‘and then I will comm Leanan. You need to be seen to, regardless of how embarrassing the explanations.’

I pick up the bowl of water and go into the ‘fresher to dump it. Fresh, cool water will help a little. When I came back into the bedroom, Maia is on her feet, moving slowly, carefully as she tries to pull the sheets off the bed. The back of her nightgown is soaked in blood from her waist to her knees.

‘Stop that,’ I tell her. ‘Back on the bed, Maia.’

She doesn’t argue and does as I ordered. I dip a cloth in the water and begin wiping the blood off of her. There is not a sound from her, only a small flinch when I have to clean the bruised and damaged flesh. This is the third time I have torn her open - first on her homeworld, then at Carida, and now, the worst of the three, tonight. The first was unavoidable, the second an unexpected result from Force healing, and this one enabled by me and voluntary on her part, but I won’t let it happen a fourth time.

‘Don’t ask me to play Sith Lord and the virgin with you again,’ I order. ‘You have been badly torn inside and the next time it could be worse.’

Her fingers reach for mine so I take her hand and squeeze it lightly.

‘I was curious,’ she admits. ‘I wanted to know how it would feel with you in armour, and what you would do.’

‘Your curiosity will be the end of you,’ I scold, pointing a finger at her.

The answer to her question is one she should have already known. No matter the circumstances, I will always be gentle and patient with her during sex. I love her, will never intentionally hurt her, and I know she responds to kindness far better than anything else.

I set the bowl and cloths aside on the floor. Rather than fuss with her nightgown, I grab it at the neck and rip it open in front. It’s ruined anyway and this is the fastest way to remove it. While she finishes stripping it off, I retrieve a new one and help her to her feet to dress in it. The sheets are a loss as well, so I yank them from the bed and toss them in a corner. Fresh blankets soon replace them and Maia is quickly settled in a comfortable position.

Time to comm the doctor and she will not be pleased to be dealing with a late night house call of this type.

‘I’ll be right back,’ I tell my wife.

I grab the various blood stained items and take them out to the disposal chute, sending them straight into my castle’s incinerator. The Holonet is close by, so I use it, sending an emergency signal to the doctor’s quarters. After a few minutes, she answers, obviously having been roused from a deep sleep.

‘Yes, my Lord, what is it?’ she greets me. There is no crankiness to be heard in her voice, only concern.

‘I need you in my quarters to deal with an injury,’ I admit, ‘and to supervise a simple surgery.’

I leave it at that, close the connection, and return to my quarters.

The doctor soon appears, carrying several bags in her hands. I lead her through to the bedroom where Maia is curled up under that cloak of mine she has become attached to.

‘Out,’ I am ordered, so I retreat from the room quickly.

***

I hear Leanan order Ani from the room, but stay curled up where I am comfortable.

‘What have you two been up to?’ the doctor asks. ‘You have obviously been hurt.’

‘We were fooling around,’ I admit, ‘playing a silly game.’

‘You were having sex,’ she states, refusing to let me avoid the facts. ‘He lost control of himself, was far too rough with you, and you tore inside.’

I nod, too miserable and embarrassed to reveal the whole truth of it because she probably won’t believe me. Ani wasn’t at all rough with me. He had been gentle and slow, careful with me and what he did, but even so, he had still ripped open the repairs he had made.

‘I did warn you to take it easy,’ she reminds me.

I nod again.

‘No more of that for you for at least a week,’ I am told as she rummages about in one of her bags, setting a container of salve beside me on the bed, ‘and apply this, internally and externally, until you are healed and no longer feeling pain. If it doesn’t improve in two days, I will need to have a look, see what the damage is, and fix it for you.’

Another nod from me.

‘Anything else?’ the doctor asks.

‘I’m pregnant,’ I blurt out.

‘Not possible, as you well know,’ she replies, a bit amused. ‘You were sterilized by one of the best.’

‘Check me out, please,’ I plead with her. ‘I know it’s true. I’m pregnant. Something must have gone wrong with the surgery.’

She humours me, taking the portable scanner out of one of her bags and waiting for me to roll onto my back, before she sits down beside me. The device is cool against my stomach as she moves it about, repeatedly returning to two separate spots. When she sets it aside, I know she is deciding what to tell me.

‘The fallopian tubes are intact,’ she reveals, and I hear the growing anger in her voice. ‘They were never severed as they should have been, so the operation you went through was a sham. I should have done the surgery myself rather than trust anyone else with it.’

I know somebody is lurking just outside the doorway, listening.

Ani, love, I need you, I call to him.

He soon joins us, replacing the doctor on the bed, holding my hand as he confirms what I know.

‘She’s newly pregnant with another son, doctor,’ the Sith Lord states. ‘Termination is not an option. You will need to manage this pregnancy without putting either of their lives at risk.’

‘Early surgery to remove him as soon as he is viable,’ Leanan tells us both. ‘I need to get you to six months, seven would be better, but beyond that it’s far too risky for you.’

She stares at my husband. There’s something else going on, and it’s between them.

‘I need you to be a witness, not a participant,’ Ani tells her. ‘Having you perform the surgery would expose you to the Emperor’s wrath because he has forbidden it to me. This is something I must do to myself.’

I squeeze his hand. He’s going to make sure this child is our last. The Sith Lord gets up, goes to the other side of the bed and lies flat on it. Rolling over, I watch him carefully, but I don’t touch or distract him. I know he is concentrating on finding what he needs to permanently sever in his body. There is a delicate touch of the Force then a much harder one accompanied by a break in his breathing and grunt of pain. Ani repeats the process a second time, his body flinching in reaction as he finishes.

My husband is hurting in the most sensitive area of his body, but refuses to show it when he sits up and pushes himself to his feet.

Male bravado, I decide, thy name is Anakin.

And endless curiosity should be called Maia, he teases in return.

Leanan looks at him shrewdly. Being a doctor, she knows how much pain he is in from what he has just done to himself, but she makes no comment about it.

‘Both of you will come see me in Medical tomorrow,’ she orders. ‘I need to make sure you haven’t injured yourself too much, my Lord, and your Lady will need to be monitored closely. We can set up the schedule for that, then.’

While Ani sees her out, I sit up, use the salve and make myself comfortable. At least I don’t hurt any longer, but I know my husband is quite sore because of how careful he is when he returns and starts stripping off his armour. I leave him be. This is one thing I definitely won’t be teasing him about. There is nothing funny about what he had to do to himself and how much pain he will have to endure until he is healed from it. When he finally comes to bed, I wait for him to sort out what position will be best for him to sleep in. He pulls me tight to his chest, his arms wrapped securely around me, and kisses my ear.

‘So, little goddess,’ he tells me, ‘you haven’t shielded him yet. Let me do it for you.’

His left hand slides to my stomach and caresses it. The Sith Lord is checking on his son, seeing who he is and might become. I feel him reach inside my body with the Force as he does what I had neglected to do. The shields he constructs are designed to hide and protect our son, concealing him from the view of any Force users other than ourselves.

‘A red head, like his mother,’ he teases me. ‘He will have my shade of blue eyes, and be strong in the Force, similar to his older brother Mikal. In personality he will be closer to you than me, and look much like your younger brother Jamie ...’

‘Stop it, Ani, please,’ I ask of him as I start to cry.

We have just lost a son and I don’t want to become too attached to this one when I know I will lose him as well, if not during a high risk pregnancy, then at birth or later to the Emperor. Palpatine has probably manipulated us into this situation, yet again, despite the terrible risks I will face, to get what he wants. I resist the pressure from Ani’s hand on my shoulder as he tries to roll me onto my back.

***

She’s understandably upset at the circumstance we find ourselves in, but I need her to be calm and listen to me. I finally give up on having her face me, release her shoulder, and let her cry herself out. Holding her tight in my arms, I wait patiently for her to stop weeping. In this case, her emotions need to run their course, and rushing her through that won’t help.

‘Maia,’ I tell her, after she is quiet for a minute, ‘I need you to turn over so I can talk to you.’

She rolls onto her back. I prop myself up with my right arm and look down at her. The only comfort I can give her is a glimpse into our future.

‘This pregnancy, as unexpected and unwelcome as it might feel to you now, and difficult as it will be for you to maintain, will probably save both our lives,’ I reveal to her.

Her forehead wrinkles as she tries to puzzle out what I have said. I debate how much of the truth to tell her. I suspect my master ordered the doctor to perform the fake operation, but I was the one who unknowingly accelerated her cycle by suggesting she go in the bacta. That she became fertile immediately and pregnant tonight is quite a shock for both of us when it should have been impossible.

I brush her stomach, gently, possessively, remembering how it felt to have her body give way to me in both pain and pleasure, and how she screamed her enjoyment of that, demanding more from me. Pain and pleasure, an addictive drug, one I rarely want to indulge in but must always deny myself in the bedroom. My wife is far too valuable and delicate an asset to let my carnal desires run wild and contaminate her with any hint of the dark side. Any craving of mine to inflict pain on another can stay on the battlefield, where it belongs, and be experienced by my enemies.

I kiss her mouth, lightly, gently, reassuring her with that physical contact between us. The next kiss she draws me in for, opening her mouth to me and letting me explore it with my tongue, doing the same to me in turn. She moans softly and whimpers, wrapping her arms around my back, pulling me close and wanting me to do more to her. I know that if I were to truly insist on it, she would let me do anything I might desire, even thrust into her again, regardless of the pain she would feel from it.

I break off our kiss, and pull my mind away from sex and back to what I need to tell her, to what I have realized tonight.

‘My master wants a son of mine from you for himself. He cannot easily take Mikal from us, so he will need you to carry this one until it is safe to remove him. If I am badly injured, you could easily miscarry from the stress of that, so he will not risk me in battle, at least not until after this son is born. He won’t kill me or allow me to be killed, either, because he would lose you and the child if he does that,’ I explain. ‘There won’t be another child from either of us after this one. He has no choices left. To get what he wants, he must shield you from the effects any harm done to me, and he can only do that by completely protecting me.’

Understanding lights her face.

‘Three and a half years,’ I remind her. ‘Time is almost up, and I know what you are so afraid of, what you once knew, and what you have seen in your dreams - my death and the circumstances around it. That will play out differently now. I will survive my encounter with Luke - the Emperor will prevent him from harming me. So, little goddess, be thankful for this third son of ours, unplanned and unexpected as he is for both of us.’

I kiss her on the forehead and then her mouth. She responds eagerly but I pull back, rest a finger on her lips and stop her from pursuing me for another one. Pain is radiating through my groin. The temporary mental pain blocks I had put on myself are fading and need to be replaced by stronger ones if I am to sleep soundly. There will be bruising in the morning and days of discomfort after that as I heal, but I won’t complain to her about any of it.

‘No sex for at least a week,’ I warn. ‘Doctor’s orders. You are far too sore for any of that.’

‘Snuggle up to me then,’ my wife insists. ‘Hold me tight and keep me safe.’

I do so and once I have set the mental pain blocks back in place, I fall asleep immediately.

DAY 30

I turn my head to see what my master has stopped to look at. For the third time since our meeting began he is staring my wife, who is seated on a bench next to one of the ornamental ponds in this, the most private of his palace’s gardens. She’s laughing, clapping her hands as the fish in the pond jump out of the water to grab the food she is throwing to them. It is the first time I have heard laugh, in pure, almost childlike delight, since our son Anakin died.

We continue our walk and discussion.

‘You will take the most particular care of her,’ I am instructed by him. ‘Have her monitored closely by the very best doctors. She must not lose this son and you must not lose her. You are to take no foolish personal risks which might upset her and be mindful of her health in all that you do.’

‘Yes, my master,’ I dutifully reply, accepting the restrictions he is imposing on me.

‘As for you, my disobedient apprentice,’ he scolds. ‘I know what you did to yourself, and that this son will be your last. Consider the pain from your own actions your punishment for it, since I cannot give you the one you deserve.’

I don’t respond. My body is badly bruised, feeling battered, and still extremely sore, and he knows that, having forbidden me from doing anything to ease the pain when he spoke to me yesterday. Walking aggravates and increases how much it hurts, so that is what he is forcing me to do. We reach the point on the circular path where we had started, but rather than stop and sit on the tempting padded bench, he continues walking, beginning another circuit of the garden. I grit my teeth and follow. He’s sadistically enjoying increasing my self-inflicted misery.

‘The project at Endor,’ he starts on another topic, ‘is behind schedule and now requires your urgent attention. You will leave here with your flagship as soon as you are able. Recall your fleet and send it to Endor to meet you there. Take your wife with you, and your children, if you feel it necessary. I will join you later, once I am sure the Rebels will be drawn into the trap.’

He stops again, his eyes on my wife once more, greed and desire barely concealed on his face. I know what he sees. My wife is beautiful, innocent of soul and gentle by nature, and she shines brilliantly in the Force, her light-side presence a powerful, radiant beacon pushing back at the darkness surrounding the Emperor and I. Any Sith, on seeing her, would want to possess her. Were she not permanently bound to me, Palpatine would have taken her from me long ago, but not to corrupt her, I suddenly realize, instead to breed his own sons from her. That intimate contact with him and his darkness would very quickly destroy her, rendering her useless for producing the Force-strong heirs he wants. So, in his eyes, to prevent that, I am an unavoidable and necessary substitute for himself.

I keep my insights to myself.

‘You have taken great care to keep her pure and untainted, and trained her as a Jedi,’ he observes, ‘yet you bound her to yourself as a Sith.’

‘It was necessary,’ I admit, seeing no reason to lie when the obvious truth is visibly branded on her arm and open to his view. ‘I do not want the eternal madness which will come from a soul bond broken by death, and I need her to be securely bound to me as a Sith to avoid that. She will stay on Korriban, at my side, rather than join with the Force.’

While he continues to stare at Maia, I am silent for a few minutes, thinking carefully about how much I should reveal.

‘You could call her a Jedi, in a sense,’ I finally say, ‘but I have always been careful to limit what she has learned of the Force - enough to keep her abilities under her control and in check, but no more than that. Younglings at the Temple would have been more proficient in its use than she is now. She knows nothing of the dark side and very little of what a Sith Lord really is or can do.’

Palpatine resumes our circular path. I reluctantly continue walking at his side, pain stabbing in my groin with each step. Will he never finish this meeting and let me go?

‘Soon young Skywalker will be one of us,’ he assures me. ‘Your younger sons will be yours to keep, once he is mine. Tell your wife this: the son she is carrying will be yours. It will ease her mind.’

Let him believe that he will have my eldest son. My plans for Luke are different.

‘Thank you, my master, I will tell her,’ I automatically reply.

‘Now, go,’ he dismisses me. ‘Take your wife home and see that she is cared for properly. We will meet again before you depart for Endor.’

I watch him walk away as he heads back to his personal quarters, turn to my wife and smile. She’s been enjoying herself, playing with the fish, and weaving a circlet of flowers to wear. Perhaps her mood reflects my master letting her rest and leaving her alone rather than insisting on speaking to her. When I sit beside her, she cheekily sets the flowers on top of my helmet, claps her hands at my comical appearance, and starts laughing again.

‘Silly little wife,’ I scold her, lifting the wreath of blue millaflowers from my helmet and placing it on her head. ‘It goes better with your gown than my armour.’

I take her left hand, hold it against my chest in both of mine, covering it completely in black leather. This will be a private performance for my master, who is viewing all that we do from a monitor, and no doubt recording it as well. Hopefully Maia will remember that.

‘My master is most pleased you will bear me another son,’ I tell her, ‘but he is extremely concerned for your health.’ I move a hand to her chin and tip it up, making her look into my mask’s lenses. ‘You must be obedient to me, my Lady, do nothing to risk yourself or our child, and do all that your doctors instruct you to. Promise me that.’

‘I will obey you, my Lord, and I will do all you ask of me,’ she concedes publically, but I know just how stubborn she can be in private.

‘Good, I will hold you to that promise,’ I remind her, brushing her cheek with a finger.

She drops her chin and looks down again. Meek and mild, compliant and well-behaved. My wife is playing her part well.

‘I have been ordered to go supervise a large military construction project, and the Emperor has graciously allowed me to take you with me. We will be leaving as soon as the Executor is ready,’ I reveal. ‘Let your aides make all the arrangements, and let them see to the children and your things. I do not want you to do anything strenuous.’

Concern flashes across her face. I see it and recognize its source.

‘The children will come, too,’ I decide, quickly changing my mind from what I had planned. ’I do not want you to worry about them being away from you.’

Her fingers drift to her stomach, stopping to rest over our fifth child, and she shivers a little. She’s afraid for him. I touch her cheek again, pull her in close, hold her tightly in my arms for a moment, not caring what Palpatine might think of it. My wife needs to be comforted and her fears calmed.

‘This son will be ours to keep, just like Mikal and the twins,’ I tell her, as I was instructed to, repeating it firmly to make sure she understands. ‘He will be ours - yours and mine. No one will take him away from us. He has been promised to me by the Emperor, so do not fear for him. There is no reason for you to be afraid.’

He will be ours, I think to myself, but the cost will be so very high, and the price one I don’t want to pay.

***

DAY 31

I slip out of bed and into the ‘fresher to soak some towels with cold water. Ani has promised to go shopping with Mikal and I this morning, before we leave for the Executor, but I know he will need some personal attention from me if he is going to be able to do that. Last night my husband was sore, bruised, and not very happy with his master’s choice of punishment for his disobedience. Walking around for an hour talking to Palpatine was torture for him and he was understandably cranky last night. Placing the cloths in a bowl, I carry it to the bed and sit beside the Sith Lord. It’s time to wake up Darth Grumpy.

‘Anakin,’ I whisper to him.

He doesn’t move, so I lean over and kiss him. That produces an instant reaction. My shoulders are grabbed as he rolls both of us over, pinning me underneath him. The kiss he gives me starts gently, but eventually he rather insistently deepens it. I yield to what he wants, until it becomes too much for me and I twist my head sideways to escape from him.

‘That’s mean,’ I scold him. ‘You know I am not allowed any fun even if you are.’

My husband doesn’t flinch away when I touch him this morning, unlike last night after he had been forced to walk around by his master.

‘It’s not as bad today,’ Ani admits, ‘and the cold cloths will feel good. Shopping with you and Mikal should not be a problem.’

He shifts off of me, to one side, to lounge propped up with his right arm while he looks at me. With one finger he traces a path from my nose to my chin, down my chest to my stomach where he rests his hand for a moment. From the warmth I feel as he uses the Force, I know he is checking on our son and on me.

‘I am fine,’ I reassure him, ‘and I don’t hurt anymore.’

I sit up, give him a push he doesn’t resist and roll my husband onto his back. Pulling the sheets and blankets down, I take a closer look at him. The bruising he caused looks worse than it really is today, but the swelling has gone down.

‘Ready?’ I warn him.

The cloths are as cold as I could manage. I pick up the first one up and lay it against his groin. The others I pack around his bruised area until everything is covered. Ani doesn’t move, but I can see goose bumps starting to form on his thighs.

‘I will need to check on the fleet’s progress before we leave on your shopping trip,’ he tells me, ‘and there are a few other things I must do. My master ordered me to go talk to him today, too. We will take the shuttle up to the Executor after that.’

He grabs my hand, kisses the palm and then my wrist, pulling me down to lie next to him. I shiver a little as he continues up my arm to my breast with his mouth. In the last day, all he has to do is touch me to produce a deep, aching need for him. When he turns his attention to my other breast, I stop him with a touch to his cheek.

‘Ani, please don’t do that to me,’ I ask.

‘There’s pleasure that can be had without resorting to the final act of the drama,’ he reminds me, ‘if you are willing to let me do it for you.’

I know what he is offering. Leaning over, I kiss him on the mouth again and quickly pull away.

‘Tonight,’ I decide. ‘There’s too much to do today and I don’t want Mikal to walk in on us. He will be awake soon and so will the twins.’

‘Could you bring me a glass of supplement drink and the box I left on the table?’ he asks.

I humour him and do as requested. He needs to stay in bed. The longer the cold towels are on him, the better he will feel later. After pouring a full glass for him, I take it and the box to the bed. The doctor gave him that and despite my curiosity, I haven’t asked him what’s in it, which is probably something to help him heal. Ani sits up a little, finishes his glass, and sends me for another one. When I return to the bed, he’s waiting for me.

‘I want to hold you for a while,’ he tells me after finishing the second glass and setting it aside on the floor.

He grabs the bed covers and drags them over both of us, making a warm nest for us to curl up in. His fingers rest at my waist, move lower, stay in place for a few seconds, then slide to between my legs. I grab his hand and stop him from going any further. The Sith Lord is being persistent this morning.

‘Anakin,’ I start to scold him.

‘Let me do this for you,’ he offers. ‘I will do something else tonight.’

He shifts us both so that we are on our sides, his back to the door, me to his front. Hopefully if we have an early visitor nothing will be obviously going on. The cold cloths are sandwiched between us, but he doesn’t seem to notice or care that those have slid down. I give in. My husband is in a mood where he wants to do this, so why should I resist him? Resting my cheek on his upper left arm, I release his right hand and let him do as he wishes.

His fingers creep down to his intended destination. They stroke me there, teasingly, then once he is sure he has the exact spot, more firmly. I stifle a gasp against his warm skin. He hasn’t done this to me very often and I had forgotten how fast my body reacts to his touch. As the pressure he exerts against me increases, my body tenses and shakes.

‘Anakin,’ I softly moan to him.

‘Shh,’ he quiets me, but his fingers don’t stop moving.

Tension radiates downwards, and I feel my muscles finally give in. The rolling, pulsing sensations drive me half mad, and to stop myself from crying out, I bite Ani’s shoulder. My husband ignores the pain from that, and I feel him push hard against my back, his own breathing coming in gasps as he has his own climax in reaction to mine. That was definitely different. Before now, he has always been inside me when he lets himself go like that. I lie quietly beside him, listening to his regulated breathing resume its even pace again.

‘Lots of fun,’ the Sith Lord whispers in my ear, teasing and laughing, ‘and no need for me to be within you, although I think we both far prefer that to this.’

‘You are a brat,’ I half-growl at him.

‘Oh? A brat, am I? You are the one who bit me,’ he reminds me, ‘but it was worth it.’

I feel his hand move to behind my back, sliding it downwards and shifting things about. What is he up to?

‘You need to move, Maia,’ he tells me. ‘There is something very precious I need to save - for me, for you, for when we will need it later, in the future.’

I sit up and look at him, wondering what he is talking about. Once I am out of the way, he shoves the sheets down, and I see what he is holding - a medical sample bag, with a small amount of milky fluid in it. This must be what Leanan had given him, the means to collect some of his semen.

‘The last of it that is fertile, I expect,’ he says, ‘unless I have what I did to myself reversed.’

‘You are going to save it, store it in stasis for later,’ I state, puzzled. Is this a weird trophy he plans on keeping or what?

‘Yes,’ he confirms.

‘Why?’ I ask, curiosity getting the better of me.

His eyes meet mine.

‘The truth, I have promised and owe that to you. You will have another son after this one is born,’ he reveals. When I go to say something in protest, he moves his hand, sets a finger across my lips, and stops me. ‘Don’t argue with me about it, Maia. Last night, I clearly saw it in a future vision, as I had seen it previously, years ago. Leanan will see you through this pregnancy safely, and the next one, too. When I need to be protected from my master, you will conceive our last child with what I have saved today.’

I slowly back away from him, stumbling as I get off the bed, and run to his office, locking its door behind me. Collapsing in a heap in front of the fire, I start shaking as I think about what he said to me. He has told me before that I would bear him four sons, but I never really believed or expected that it would actually happen. Now, it sounds like the Sith Lord intends to make sure that it will. Staring into the flames, I begin to consider his words.

How many of my pregnancies have been a means to protect my husband from the Emperor’s wrath? Not Mikal - he was an unplanned accident, but Ani did use my pregnancy to avoid the worst of his master’s punishments. The girls? Palpatine wanted me to be rid of them. My little Anakin? I bury my face in my hands. He was not supposed to be born for another month, and the Emperor had been predatory and controlling in regards to him. We lost my second son too early, I realize, and too soon - too soon to be the protection the Sith Lord must have intended him to be. And this son, this third son of ours who was so conveniently conceived exactly when he was needed? From Palpatine’s behaviour, he wants this child for his own as much as he wanted the previous one.

Frustration at my husband fills me for a moment as I figure out exactly what he has done. Ani has enabled this pregnancy specifically to force the Emperor’s hand, to force his master to protect him from Luke, to ensure that his eldest son won’t kill him at their upcoming confrontation, and he didn’t have the decency to discuss any of it with me beforehand.

I pick up the brandy glass Ani had left on the floor and hurl it at the door just as he opens it. His right hand moves in a blur as he snatches it from the air to avoid having it smash against the wall behind him. He stands there, silently watching me while I stare at him. Finally, he comes in, shuts the door behind him, sets the glass on his desk, and kneels in front of me, his black Sith Lord robes spread in a circle on the floor around him.

‘Go ahead,’ he offers. ‘Don’t hold it in - that will only make it worse. I won’t be angry with you if you yell at me, if that is what helps you to say what you need to.’

My hands shake a little as I restrain myself from doing as he has suggested. Yelling at him, much as I want to do it, will only harm my voice. I know telling him off might give me a moment’s satisfaction, but it won’t solve anything and I will only end up regretting it. My anger begins to drain away as he patiently waits for my response.

‘Now that you are ready to talk to me,’ he tells me, ‘I want to know what made you run off like that when I was completely honest with you. I could have lied, I could have concealed the truth from you, but I didn’t.’

‘But you have, Ani, you have,’ I reply, quietly, softly, forcing him to listen carefully to my words. ‘You needed me to be pregnant with Anakin, and now that he is gone, too early to save you from Luke, you did this to me, you made sure there would be a substitute.’

The tears come, and they are ones of grief for my lost child, not of anger or frustration. I feel them slide down my cheeks and fall onto my hands, but do nothing to stop them. My husband stares at me, shocked and disturbed by my accusation. He holds his hands out to me, touches my shoulders, then drags me over and into his arms. I tuck my head under his chin, and cling to his robes while he holds me close. His chest is quickly becoming soaked as I continue to cry.

‘Let it out, cry as much and as long as you need to,’ he tells me. ‘You are still grieving for our son and having trouble adjusting to the fact that you will bear me another child so soon after losing him. I am not upset with you for what you have assumed, and once you are ready I will explain to you what really happened with Anakin, as I should have done at the time, but chose not to because I did not want to distress you.’

I feel his hand in my hair as he tries to soothe me. In response, I nestle in tighter. As the minutes pass, the tears slow then stop and the sniffles recede. The Sith Lord kisses the top of my head and I know he is going to talk to me.

‘The Emperor forced Reena to nullify your birth control,’ he quietly states, his mouth near to my ear so I can’t avoid hearing every word he says. ‘He threatened her family and would have killed them all had she refused. If she had been honest and told me that, I would have found a way to continue delaying your pregnancy for another year, without risking her children and grandchildren, but she chose to lie and concealed it from me instead. I did not arrange your pregnancy with our second son, and I certainly did not order that doctor to perform a fake surgery so you would become pregnant with our third. My master is also responsible for that. When he wants something, he usually gets it, Maia, and he wants a son of mine, born from you, for himself. What you want or feel, and what I want or feel about it does not matter to him.’

He lifts my chin with his hand, tips my face up and lightly kisses my forehead.

‘Dry your tears, my love,’ he suggests. ‘Be assured that I have not arranged any of your pregnancies. They have all been surprises for me as they have been for you. If, when, we have another child, I promise I will make sure you are in agreement with me about it.’

The Sith Lord gently kisses my mouth, then pulls back and looks intently at me. I feel his Force sense slide over my body, a warm, gentle, unseen blanket settling over me for a moment before it is gone.

‘I need to check something,’ he decides as he releases me from his arms.

I watch him get up, retrieve a device from one of the hidden storage places in the wall, and return to me. He lifts my hand, stabs it quickly with a needle and collects a few drops of blood on a glass plate. While he fusses with his gadget, I wipe the tears from my face with the soft cloth he gave me to hold against the prick wound on my hand.

‘Measuring me again?’ I ask, curious.

He did this one time before, soon after I arrived on the Executor. The gadget flashes a number on the screen. Surprise appears on his face, then concern as he runs the analysis a second time. Once he is satisfied that it is correct, he sets the device aside, wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me close.

‘Listen to me carefully,’ he orders.

I nod in agreement.

‘Your strength in the Force has grown, and I suspect it has something to do with my blood you were given on Hapes,’ Ani tells me. ‘You had lost so much that there was no choice but to replace it with five units of mine, and that’s half of your blood volume. My midichlorians, this second batch you have received from me, have made a home for themselves in you, just like the first ones did.’

He turns the gadget so I can see the number, but it means nothing to me.

‘Yours, now, is 13,000,’ he reads from the screen. ‘Mine …’ Ani stabs his shoulder with another needle and performs the measurement on himself, showing me the number from it, too. ‘I am 22,000, but it was higher before I was injured. A normal human averages 1,500, an average Jedi, 10,000. Masters on the Jedi Council were often higher than that, but few were close to yours, and no one has ever been as high as mine.’

‘Oh,’ I respond to that information, too surprised to say more.

‘You are a great temptation, little goddess,’ he states. ‘I must finish training you how to use the Force, for your own protection, and I need to test your ‘saber skills in battle rather than at practice in the salle. Some of what I have held back from teaching you might be what saves you.’

‘Saves me from what?’ I ask, curious what he is so worried about.

‘Not from what, but from whom - the Emperor… and others,’ he admits.

The office door opens. My husband forgot to relock it when he came in. Both of us turn to look at who it is.

‘Daddy!’ Mikal yells, excited to see his father.

Our son runs to Ani, hugs him around the neck and kisses his cheek before doing the same with me. He knows we are going shopping today and can’t wait for the adventure.

‘Come here, son,’ Ani calls to him. ‘I need you to be brave for me.’

Our son plunks himself on his father’s lap, and I see Ani flinch as Mikal’s weight impacts on him. When my husband pulls a clean needle from the box, I know what he plans to do.

‘Hold still,’ he warns, then quickly taps the needle against Mikal’s arm.

There is no cry of protest, just a squirm or two as the blood is collected. Mikal escapes to me once Ani lets him go.

‘Brave boy,’ I reassure him. ‘You were good for daddy.’

‘Is daddy playing doctor?’ Mikal asks.

‘Just a quick test,’ I answer.

We both watch the Sith Lord run Mikal’s sample, but he doesn’t tell us the results.

‘Close to what I expected,’ is all Ani reveals. ‘All is well.’

I meet his eyes and raise an eyebrow.

‘Go see if your sisters are awake,’ I tell Mikal, sending him off with a kiss to the cheek.

Once our son is out the door, my husband shows me the reading, 11,000, clearly on the screen.

***

I catch her hand and squeeze it to reassure her. Mikal will need more Force training from me as he grows older, but for now I will continue to hold him back and keep him securely shielded from my master. My wife, though, will not be happy with the intense regimen of study and practice she will have to go through. Perhaps I will start with the more practical and interesting applications, before moving to the more obscure and esoteric ones.

Putting aside the midichlorian meter, I watch Maia’s face carefully. She was understandably upset earlier, and I should have been more careful what I said to her about our future fourth son. Something else is bothering her, besides our son’s death and her new pregnancy, and I will have to extract that from her.

‘Talk to me, Maia,’ I ask of her. ‘Tell me what is upsetting you. I promise that nothing you say will make me angry.’

She stares down at the floor, avoiding my eyes, and not wanting to give me an answer. I wait patiently for her to say something to me, but I know we won’t have much time before Mikal is back, with his sisters, all of them demanding breakfast.

‘I want to go home,’ she finally admits in a whisper. ‘I want to go home to my family, to my friends, to where you will be safe from the Emperor and the Rebels, to where no one from here can find us.’

I suspected that this was the problem and know exactly what has triggered it. Some of it is a reaction to how my master has behaved, some of it a desire to escape to a safer place, but most of it is due to her grief and how uncertain she is about our future. It has been more than three years since we were on Naboo and homesickness affected her to this extent. I had hoped it would never return. Today, rather than simply soothe it away, I will make her think about it logically, forcing her to face reality and the fact that she can, we can, never go back.

‘What you experienced in the bacta tank was a dream,’ I remind her. ‘It wasn’t real, and it can never be real, no matter how much you want it to be.’

A single tear appears. I reach over and gently brush it from her cheek with a finger.

‘Think about it carefully,’ I tell her. ‘Be honest with yourself. You know what you imagined would never have really happened that way. If we had stayed, what would your military have done with me? With you? At the very least we would have been separated - I would have been permanently imprisoned as a hostile enemy alien, and you subjected to interrogation before being released to your family to raise our son alone.’ I prevent her from voicing any protests to my predictions with a quick kiss to her mouth then finish, ‘The only way we could be together was if I took you with me. I knew that then, and chose to bring you here with me rather than stay there with you.’

I take her hands and pull her to her feet as I stand up.

‘Think about this, too,’ I suggest. ‘If we could go back, how would it be done? Would I arrive as a conquering military commander with my fleet? Would we sneak back on our own with the children and try to pass off my armour as a costume I prefer to wear? When I was there before, far too many learned who I really was, Maia, and the truth would come out publically, sooner or later. Living incognito would not last, no matter how careful we might be.’

She steps into my embrace, so I hold her close, comforting her with my touch. Today was too soon to tell her of our fourth son. With time, she will accept that aspect of our future, but for now, I will leave it be, as I should have this morning, until it becomes necessary to discuss the timing of his birth with her.

I feel her shiver against me, so choose to murmur soothing, reassuring words into her hair, above her ear. Grieving can be a strange process, I decide. In her, it has reawakened a desire to return to her homeworld, to her birth place, to the location where she would feel the most secure and safe, surrounded by those she loves and trusts. Patience, I remind myself as I kiss her forehead, with time this will pass, as it has before. For her, I will always have to be the safe haven she needs.

***

The office door slides open as my husband’s lips part on touching my own. I ignore whichever of our children has come in and respond to my husband in kind, allowing Ani to do as he pleases to me.

‘Oh!’ I hear Mikal exclaim before he erupts into laughter.

Ani pulls back from our kiss, so I turn and look at our son. He’s sitting on the floor, pointing at us, and giggling.

‘Daddy kissed mommy!’ he says loudly and excitedly.

‘Mikal?’ I ask, puzzled by his reaction.

His response is to jump up, and run out the door.

‘Cat! Shmi!’ he calls. ‘Daddy kissed mommy!’

‘He hasn’t watched us kiss like that before, at least not when he was old enough to really know what we were doing,’ my husband admits.

‘Still, it is a rather strange reaction from him,’ I decide.

‘Let me finish what he interrupted,’ Ani suggests, ‘then we should all have breakfast and dress for the day ahead.’

I don’t object when his lips firmly make contact with mine.

***

Maia puts away the last of our morning meal and makes sure the children are cleaned up and dressed before returning to our bedroom. She will be the last of us to complete their morning routine.

‘You aren’t finished, yet,’ she observes when she sees my vocoder, mask, and helmet are still off.

‘If it was on, I couldn’t do this,’ I tell her, catching her hand in mine, raising it to my lips and kissing her wrist. ‘Or this,’ I add, pulling her closer and resting my lips on her forehead, ‘or this,’ I repeat a third time before setting my mouth against hers.

Her skin is soft and delicate against my lips, her hair smells of millaflowers and her mouth tastes like the neema fruit she had for breakfast. I let myself relax, enjoying the feel my wife’s body next to my own as I hold her secure in my arms. After our shopping trip, much of today will be hectic and stressful for both of us, and I want to steal one final quiet minute with her.

‘Tonight,’ I whisper a reminder in her ear.

‘Tonight,’ she repeats into mine, adding, ‘tonight you are mine, Sith Lord.’

‘I will be yours,’ I admit. ‘Tonight, tomorrow, until time ends.’

I tip her chin up with my hand and give her a last, quick kiss.

‘Forever and always, I am yours,’ I remind her, running gloved fingers over the Sith text burned onto her arm. ‘But right now, I must put my helmet on, and speak to Admiral Piett over the Holonet.’

She reaches up, catches my face between her hands, pulls me over a little, and kisses me. I laugh at her boldness and escape from her grasp. My wife lets me go, so I quickly finish dressing. When I turn around to see what she is doing, she is digging through her clothes, deciding what to wear for our shopping trip.

‘Wear something practical,’ I suggest.

***

Something practical? I turn and smile at Ani. He’s given me an idea.

‘Alright, love,’ I agree. ‘Something practical.’

He brushes my cheek with a finger, so I touch his breathscreen with one of mine. Then, my husband is off to finish a few chores before we leave.

I close the compartment with my gowns and open the one below it. He asked for something practical, so that is what I will give him. Throwing my selections on the bed, I duck into the ‘fresher for my morning soak. Ani will be a while dealing with the various calls and reports he has to see to. I will have time, for a change, to relax in the hot water. While the bath fills, I loosen my hair, noting that I really need to have it cut or trimmed at the very least. It is thick, heavy, and long enough that I can almost sit on it. My husband prefers my hair the way it is, but looking after it properly has become a time consuming chore.

The water shuts off automatically, preventing it from overflowing onto the floor and making a mess. I step into it and sit down, lying back until I am almost completely submerged. Ani doesn’t like sonic showers, so all of his quarters are fitted for water. It’s one of the few luxuries he insists on having, even on ship, and I am glad that he does. Tipping my head, I reach out to see what he is up to.

Anakin? I lightly prod him.

Yes, wife? he teases in answer. Do you need me for something?

Shopping, I remind him. No sneaking out of it, either.

No sneaking, he promises.

I let him go at that and pull myself out of the water. Rather than leave my hair loose, I take advantage of it being wet and twist it into three French braids, plaiting those in turn into one to hang down the center of my back. Practical, the Sith Lord had said, and this will keep my hair out of the way. When I return to the bedroom, I can hear Cyran with the children. She will be staying here with the twins while Daini comes with us.

As I quickly dress, I do my best to listen in. The twins are practicing the words they can say clearly, but Mikal keeps trying to interrupt my aide who is working with them.

‘Cyran, Cyran,’ my son repeats.

‘Yes, Lord Mikal,’ she finally answers, humouring him.

‘I saw daddy kiss mommy,’ he whispers, loudly, making no attempt to really be quiet about it. ‘Daddy kissed mommy like Daini kissed Rik.’

I bite my lip to stop myself from laughing. That explains his reaction this morning. He spotted my shuttle pilot and other aide doing something they shouldn’t have where he could see it, then he saw Ani and I repeat the same thing, and both incidents have made quite an impression on him. This should be interesting, but from her silence I can tell that Cyran has no idea what to say to him. I grab my lightsaber, hook it on my belt and go to rescue her from my too observant son.

***

I finish listening to Piett’s report, and quickly dismiss him after giving him his orders. He will bring the fleet to Endor and meet me there. The Executor will take on the role of a command ship until it is needed in battle, so in preparation for that I will transfer him to my flagship from the Accuser.

The next message I decide to deal with is from Jix. He’s sent a recording through circuitous channels rather than try to contact me directly. I activate the file, expecting trouble of some sort from Tatooine.

‘Hi Uncle Dee,’ Jix opens in his usual manner. ‘Jabba found out I was using his transmitter and I had to pin the blame on someone else. Fett has delivered Solo to the Hutt, so I expect a rescue attempt will be coming soon.’ Jix looks about and quickly finishes, ‘I’ll stick around and look after Skywalker for you when he does show up. Say hello to Aunt Em and my nephew. Gotta go.’

Jix will send a message or comm me directly once he has more news, but I already know what will probably happen. Luke will rescue his friend then come to Endor when the Rebels attack the unfinished battle station.

I glance through the rest of my messages, and type a quick response to the one from Inquisitor Tremayne. None of the others are pressing or in need of attention. For the morning, I will ignore the demands of my position and go do something with my family. Whatever my wife has planned, I will go along with - within reason.

Maia is waiting for me, with our son, Daini, and Thirsk, in my private hangar next to the airspeeder I have chosen to use. She is not wearing one of her gowns. Instead, she is in what she usually refers to as her ‘working clothes’, her armour modelled on my own, only this time, she has left off the cloak and twisted her hair into several braids. I cannot fault her choice of dress, since she has followed my instructions, but I prefer her hair loose and she knows that. My wife does her best to hide a smile, having sensed my reaction.

‘You did tell me to wear something practical,’ she teases me.

‘So I did,’ I admit.

I reach out and she takes my hand, so I lead her over to the ‘speeder and help her into it. The rest of our security will follow in another vehicle once I know where we are going.

‘Where to?’ I ask after everyone is seated.

‘Embassy Mall,’ Maia reveals. ‘Mikal needs some new clothes, so let’s go there, first.’

I know the store she has in mind. Rather than spend credits at an expensive designer’s studio, my frugal wife will go buy what she needs off the rack. Our arrival at the Mall does not go unnoticed, but our security fans out around us, keeping potential problems at bay. Maia goes directly to the clothing store, towing Mikal along with her. My son does not care much for trying on new clothes and I am not looking forward to the next hour. Shopping for clothes has never been high on my list of favourite activities.

Trailing after everyone else, I am the last one into the clothing store. For a while, my opinions are sought, but eventually my wife gives up. She knows I am bored, despite my best efforts to appear interested and helpful. It doesn’t really matter to me what Mikal wears in private as long as it fits and is functional. Finally there is an impressive pile of clothing stacked near the front of the store for the clerks to deal with. Some of it is for my son and the rest for my daughters. I hand the manager my credit chip and wait for the sale to go through. Maia has already left, going to the next shop ahead of me.

The toy store is far more entertaining, Mikal spends his time carefully considering anything which catches his eye. I know from past experience that my son is rather picky about which toys he prefers. He wanders up and down the aisles, trailed by Thirsk and Daini. My wife is elsewhere, looking for something suitable for the twins. Positioning myself so I have a view of her, I find my eyes drawn to the nearby display of figures. Prominently placed in the middle of it is a miniature version of myself, surrounding by suitably sized ‘troopers. While I have been told such toys existed, this is the first time I have actually seen one. My laughter in reaction to them brings Mikal running to me.

‘Daddy!’ he happily exclaims, grabbing the doll dressed in my armour.

He holds it tight to his chest, refusing to let go of it when Thirsk tries to take it for examination. If there was a threat to my son, I would sense it.

‘It’s safe,’ I tell the Commander. ‘Let him keep it.’

Mikal sits down at my feet and plays contentedly, lining up several ‘trooper figures for ‘me’ to order about. I watch his antics, amused by his imagination. He doesn’t move until he sees his mother coming towards us then reluctantly stands up, still hanging onto the first figure he had picked out. My wife has finished shopping for the girls and is ready to go.

‘Daddy?’ Mikal asks.

‘Pick the ones you want,’ I tell him.

He selects four ‘troopers and somehow manages to carry them, along with ‘me’ to his mother, but only the ‘trooper figures are surrendered to her. My son refuses to let anyone have his favourite new toy. Not even the store clerk, when we are leaving, is able to persuade him to part with it for the brief time it takes to add the cost of it to the bill.

It’s my hand Mikal chooses to take as we walk to the iced dessert parlour. Maia, on my other arm, seems rather pleased with her morning’s purchases, but says little until we are seated and my son is busy eating his selected treat.

‘The Mall is quiet,’ my wife observes. ‘Last time we were here, it was far busier.’

‘Festivals and holidays always bring people out,’ I remind her. ‘Many are still recovering from over spending during the Winter Fete, and Tapani Day is over a month away.’

Maia turns her attention to her neema fruit dessert while she thinks about what to do next. Thirsk is nearby us, surveying the area and ensuring our security detail are doing their jobs. Daini has chosen to sit at another table, giving us a semblance of privacy which never really exists in public. Someone will be watching us, recording us, even if it isn’t obvious. Certainly my master will know where we are and what we have been doing.

‘I’d like to take a quick look in a few other shops,’ Maia announces. ‘I won’t go far, just to the ones over there.’

‘Don’t be too long,’ I warn her. ‘There’s much for us to still do today.’

She heads off in the direction she waved her hand in, not the least bit concerned or worried, but when she is gone for more than fifteen minutes, I decide we should probably return to my castle. I give Daini and Thirsk the task of keeping Mikal busy while I go track down my wife. Maia likes to browse through the various shops, although what is in them is of little practical use for us. Looking across the Mall from the iced desserts parlour, I see her in a furniture store, trying out various chairs and examining the tables. Before I can motion her over, she disappears from my sight, going deeper into the shop. I will have to go retrieve her in person.

It takes a few minutes to locate her in the store, in the bedroom section. I freeze in place as I watch her sit on the foot of the largest, most grandiose bed in the place. With a high canopy and heavy drapery, it is overly ornate and ostentatious, and completely impractical for anything other than display. My feet refuse to move and as I force myself to step closer, Maia sees me, smiles, and climbs into the middle of the bed. I stare at my wife, lying back against the cushions, lounging there and beckoning me over with a cheeky grin.

Anger rises within me, to erupt outwards.

‘Get off of that,’ I hiss at her.

She obeys instantly, the surprise on her face coupled with concern. When she comes to me, silently offering me her hand in apology, I push it away, my body shaking with rage. Something stirs deep in my mind, a memory half-seen, half recalled, but as I reach for it, it disappears, eluding me. Furious and frustrated  that I do not understand what I feel or why, I spin about and stalk away from her, not stopping my progress until I reach the Imperial Palace, leaving my wife and son behind in the care of Commander Thirsk and Maia’s security team.

***

I send the last of the packed trunks down to the shuttle in the hangar and sit on the edge of the bed, wondering what I should do next. Ani is at the Imperial Palace, meeting with the Emperor, but I have no idea when he will return or what sort of mood he will be in. He left the Mall in a rage, for no obvious reason, and I cannot think of what I might have done to provoke him. It must be all the stress he is under, I finally decide. The Sith Lord is still grieving for our son, much as he tries to hide that from me, and on top of that he has been fussing over my health, worrying about being sent off to deal with some construction project, plotting mischief related to that, and trying to figure out what to do about Luke. Eventually his frustrations come out, and I was the unfortunate one on the receiving end today instead of one of his hapless duelling ‘droids.

‘Time to leave, my Lady,’ Thirks tells me, from the doorway.

‘So soon?’ I ask. ‘Shouldn’t we wait for his lordship?’

‘Orders from him,’ the Commander reveals. ‘He will follow us up later, in his TIE, rather than have Rik fly that to the Executor for him.’

Last minute changes of plan are a common thing for me to deal with, but why didn’t my husband contact me directly? I give my head a frustrated shake. Sooner or later, I will find out what the problem is. There’s no point in worrying about it now.

‘Let’s gather up the children and go, then,’ I agree.

***

It is many hours before the Sith Lord joins me, coming to his quarters on the Executor long after the children are in bed. I am curled up in a chair in his office, waiting for him and studying his treatise on the fourth ‘saber form, when he finds me there.

‘The ship is in hyperspace, and it will be many days before we arrive at the construction site,’ Ani tells me, interrupting my reading. ‘Our destination is not on any of the heavily travelled routes and we will have to change course at several transfer points.’

I set the book aside and look up at him. His mind is calm and settled, with no signs of the earlier outburst to be detected there. Whatever made him angry, it is not bothering him now. When he offers a hand, I take it, but he doesn’t pull me to my feet. Instead, he sits in the chair across from me.

‘We need to talk,’ he quietly states, ‘and I know what I must ask of you will distress you.’

I give his fingers a squeeze, encouraging him to continue.

‘Your dreams of my death show one potential future,’ he reveals. ‘And your memories, those I was able to access, show more than your dreams, but it is still not enough. I must obtain more information than I have now, if I am to change your future visions, and there is only one way I can find what I need.’

That prompts a shiver from me. He has finally accepted that my strange foreknowledge is accurate and has decided to act on it at last. I look away from him, knowing what he wants me to consent to, and what he will have to do to me to find the answers he requires in my mind. He will use sex to completely open up our bond, giving him the ability to dive deep into my mind, into what I had deliberately hidden away. Only once before has he done this to me, and that brief, painful foray of his is something I prefer not to remember.

‘When?’ I ask in a whisper.

‘Tonight,’ he suggests, ‘but only if you are willing.’

‘You promised…,’ I start, but he finishes my sentence for me.

‘…that I was yours for tonight,’ he adds, brushing a finger across my lips, ‘and I will keep my word. First, pleasure for you, and second, what I need to do, but only if you are ready for it and give me your consent to do it.’

My husband is offering me honey to make the bitter medicine after it easier to swallow. This is going to be uncomfortable for him, too, because he is still a bit bruised and sore. At least I am in better shape than him in that respect.

‘Let’s get this over with, then,’ I tell him.

***

I lead her out of my office, to the bedroom. She did not argue or debate my request of her, nor question why it is necessary.

Her dreams only show the end of my duel with Luke, finishing when my master orders him to kill me, and my funeral pyre after that. My one desperation driven expedition into her mind revealed the same, with a few more details, but it is not enough. I need to know what my master will do, what the Rebels have planned, when and how they will attack, and attack they certainly will. Their first goal will be the shield generator protecting the battlestation, followed by an assault on the station in an attempt to destroy it. The information I must have is in her mind, deeply hidden and securely locked away.

I seal the bedroom door behind us. The hand in mine pulls me over to the bed then tugs me onto it, to kneel facing her. We stay like that for several minutes, her hands lightly held by mine while we stare at one another, both of us completely dressed, I still in my armour and my wife in her gown. This is going to be awkward, I admit to myself. Never before has sex between us been for a specific purpose like this, and as a result it feels forced and unnatural.

‘This isn’t working,’ Maia admits, breaking the uncomfortable silence. ‘One of us has to do something.’

‘Why don’t you tell me what you want me to do?’ I suggest, expecting the usual response from her.

‘You in armour,’ she decides, ‘and, …’  My wife tackles me, knocking me over onto my back, flattening me on the bed, and pinning me in place, before happily saying, ‘...gotcha, Sith Lord.’

She hasn’t pounced on me like this in over a year, but if she wants me to play a game with her, I will humour her. I react instantly, wrap my arms around her and roll us both over, reversing our positions and trapping her beneath me with my body and weight. Each of her hands, I grab in turn, fixing them in place beside her head with the Force before I let go of them physically. Tonight, she will be my captive.

‘Not so fast, my little Jedi,’ I warn her when she pulls at her invisible restraints. ‘You are the prisoner of a Sith Lord tonight.’

Sitting up beside her, I run a finger from her ear, across her cheek, to under her chin, watching her try not to flinch or squirm as I move it. All I need to do is touch her in the right places and there is nothing she will not do for me.

‘So, little Jedi,’ I tease her. ‘What shall I do with you?’

I unhook my lightsaber, throw it in the air, ignite it and spin it with the Force, my control as delicate as that of a surgeon when I slice her dress open from its neckline to its hem. Then, I shut my blade off, catch it, and toss it onto the shelf in the wall. Maia stares at me, eyes wide. I know she is wondering what I am planning to do next. My hands reach up to remove my helmet, mask, and vocoder, setting each aside in turn on the floor. The codpiece joins them as well. All of that will be in my way if I leave it on.

‘Anakin,’ she whispers to me.

‘Lord Vader,’ I correct her. ‘There is no Anakin, here.’

My wife is trembling, not in fear but anticipation, after I say that. I set my hands on her stomach and push the fabric of her ruined gown out of the way. The leather of my gloves must feel rough against her skin so I use that to inflame her further by caressing her body wherever I can easily touch her. When I set my mouth on her breasts, she moans, prompting her to again try to free her hands.

‘There is no escape, little Jedi, and no hope of rescue,’ I flatly state. ‘You are mine to do with as I please.’

‘Ani…’ she begins a protest.

I silence her with my mouth on hers. At first, she resists me, until slide my tongue between her lips. She tastes sweet, so I take my time, indulging myself as I torture her with everything I do with my mouth. When I finally pull away, she tries to follow only to be firmly held in place while I gently nip her neck, leaving visible marks behind.

Reaching down to her left knee, I bend it upwards, repeating the same with the other. Tonight, I need to prolong the time our bond leaves her mind completely open to me and not hurt either of us too much in the doing of that. I rest a hand on her stomach, considering, then make a decision. My lips replace my hand, travelling lower, slowly, drawing it out as I listen to the soft cries my wife makes. When my mouth finds what I seek, I use that, push her to the edge, hold her there, waiting for her mind to draw me in.

I sense her release before it swamps us both, hear her scream my name as I am pulled into her conscious mind, only to force my way deeper into her subconscious memories. A part of me is aware that I have shifted myself about physically and am now thrusting hard and fast into her body, driving her towards another climax but not letting her reach it, while the rest is rapidly sifting through her memories, seeking out what I need and then, thankfully, finding it. I fall back into my own mind once I have all I require from her, noting that Maia is yanking hard on her hands, and begging for me to give her what she so desperately wants.

‘Hold me,’ I order, freeing her hands as I do so and pulling her into my arms.

My last few thrusts are deep and gentle, triggering what she needs from me. Our minds blend, souls mesh, but this time I simply hold her close and wait for it to end. I feel her shaking in my arms as it does. She’s in shock, injured in mind, and sore in body as a result of what I have done. The best way to reach her right now is at the emotional level. I shift her about just enough to remove what is left of her dress and throw it off the bed. Cleaning up can wait, I decide, and my armour can stay on. Other things are far more important.

‘Hush, little goddess,’ I do my best to soothe her. ‘Rest now, love, and let me keep you secure in my arms for the night.’

She doesn’t resist when I pull her tight against my chest and compel her into a deep, dreamless sleep. I spend a few minutes adjusting her position in my arms and pulling my cloak over us both. This will take time and we need to be comfortable. I slip into her mind, see where the stresses are, find where I pushed too hard in my haste to find what I sought, and settle in for a long night of repairing the damage I did. In the morning, I will see to her bruises and love bites, and my own aching body.

Then, I will need to decide what I will do about the future I discovered in her mind.

***

The Executor, Deep Space en route to Endor

DAY 32

I wake slowly, with the first thing I notice being Ani’s chest armour and control box digging into my back. He’s left his helmet off but stayed in his armour, and has me pulled as tight to his body as he can manage. Choosing not to move, I listen to his even breathing and feel the various aches in my body. There are several bite marks on my neck and one on my chest, and bruises from the boxes on his belt on my hips. My wrists hurt where they had been held in place and I am sore from how long he had to make love to me. I suspect my husband will be equally bruised and uncomfortable when he finally does wake up.

Retreating within myself, I can see no trace of what he had done to me, what he had to do to me. The same grey blanks are there, in my mind, where they have been ever since I hid those memories away. Ani now knows some of what I once knew and can no longer access, but unless he chooses to share it with me, I will not find out what any of it was.

I suspect he will keep it to himself.

A gloved hand strokes my middle, accompanied by warmth radiating outwards in the Force. Ani is busy healing the physical damage from last night, and not just mine. My husband has decided to look after himself as well, despite his master’s orders.

‘Don’t move,’ he warns me when I shift a little. ‘Just stay here with me and relax, sleep some more if you can, and let me hold you.’

‘Did you find it?’ I ask.

‘I found what I need,’ he confirms, ‘and I won’t do that to you again. It causes too much trauma to your mind.’

A light kiss is pressed to the back of my neck. My husband won’t discuss what he knows, at least not right now. I entwine my fingers in his and pull his gloved hand to the center of my chest. There’s no reason to get out of bed early, so I take his advice and let myself drift back into sleep.

An hour later, Ani is awake, on his feet, and stripping off his armour. I stay in bed, bundled up in his cloak, and watch him through half closed eyes. He had used the Force to heal the bruises from his belt boxes and the spill over from that has fixed his older self-inflicted injuries. For the first time in days he isn’t sore or cranky.

‘Go back to sleep,’ Ani suggests. ‘I will be a while cleaning up and going over the summary progress report from the construction project. When the children are close to stirring, I will wake you.’

‘I’m too awake to fall asleep,’ I decide.

‘Too stubborn, you mean,’ my husband teases.

Now wrapped in his robe, he comes over to the bed and sits beside me.

‘I want you to rest,’ he firmly states. ‘There is much for you to learn, and today I want to start working with you on how to use the Force defensively. Everything I have taught you so far is in passive techniques, and that only so you can keep your abilities under conscious control.’

‘More lessons,’ I grumble a little.

‘More lessons, and ones you must learn thoroughly and well,’ Ani insists, ‘but for now, sleep, wife.’

I don’t resist his use of suggestion.

***

I know Maia is wondering what I have planned and what we will be doing. For this lesson, privacy is best, so I have opted to use the same facilities Thirsk had when training her in self defense. Today, he is here, waiting for us, ready to do as I have asked.

‘Commander,’ I acknowledge him as we enter the room.

‘My Lord,’ he replies in turn.

My attention shifts to Maia. This is one of the earliest skills once taught to children in the Jedi Temple, and one I am supremely proficient with. I want to give her a memorable demonstration for how to apply it in a defensive manner before I describe it in detail and start working with her on the simpler ways it can be used.

‘Come here,’ I tell her, beckoning her over. ‘Rest your hands on the back of mine, and watch and feel what I do.’

I turn her about, pull her backwards into my chest, and wait for her hands to be set in position over my own. She won’t come to any harm, but I expect that won’t occur to her at first. Her initial reaction will be panic.

‘Ready?’ I ask not of my wife, but of Thirsk.

In answer, he raises his blaster and fires.

***

As Thirsk lifts his blaster I try to back up, only to find Ani’s body holding me firmly in place, preventing any attempt at escape. The first bolt the Commander fires, I don’t see, having shut my eyes in reaction. Ani’s hand moves, pulling mine along with it, and I feel and hear the bolt impact against his glove. After a few more bolts and the same response from my husband, I decide it is safe to look. He won’t allow any harm to come to me, so whatever he is doing with the Force must be what he wants me to figure out.

The next bolt arrives. Somehow Ani is making them disappear, just before they touch his hands, with very little obvious effort. Taking his advice, I study what he is doing with my Force augmented senses. Somehow he is absorbing the blasts by using the Force.

‘How are you doing that?’ I finally work up the courage to ask.

‘Tutaminis,’ is his brief reply.

Ani allows Thirst to shoot a few more times, then nods to let him know it is enough.

‘That will do, Commander,’ he tells him. ‘You may go.’

Being shot at in that way was a bit frightening. I wait until Thirsk has left, then spin about and wrap my arms around Ani’s waist. He brushes my cheek with his fingers and holds me for a brief moment.

‘Don’t panic when someone is firing at you,’ the Sith Lord warns me. ‘You cannot act effectively or make good decisions if you are afraid of what they might do.’

‘It’s more that I didn’t have a way to defend myself,’ I admit. ‘At least the other times people were firing blasters at me I had my lightsaber and could deflect the bolts with it.’

‘Then you need to learn tutaminis so you don’t have to rely on your lightsaber to do that,’ he tells me. ‘Let’s go back to my office and sit down, so I can go over the basics for how it works.’

I set my hand on his arm and follow along at his side. Ani takes a roundabout route back to his quarters, stopping several times to check on the ship and its crew. He’s also making sure I have my daily walk, I decide, since he won’t let me duel with him in the salle today. There’s no point in complaining to him about it. My husband is worried that I might overdo things, and I know from past experience that the only way to persuade him to stop his fussing is to comply with his wishes for a while.

‘Go sit in my office and wait for me,’ he instructs when we finally are back in his quarters. ‘I need something from my workshop for you to practice with.’

I do as he asked and make myself comfortable on the couch. This should be an interesting lesson, but I have no idea what sort of exercises he has in mind. The box in his hands as he comes into his office gives no hints, either.

‘Tell me what you discovered earlier,’ Ani asks. ‘Did you figure out what I was doing?’

‘You were absorbing the blasts,’ I tell him, ‘but I don’t know how. Wouldn’t it be easier to reflect them away instead?’

‘Yes, I was absorbing the energy from the blasts,’ he admits. ‘Reflecting or deflecting them is harder. It requires more concentration than you might have to spare in a combat situation.’

He sits down next to me and reaches into the box, removing from it what looks like a flashlight.

‘Set your hand on mine again and watch carefully,’ he orders.

‘This should be enlightening,’ I tease him as I oblige him and put my left hand on his right.

‘More like warming,’ he replies, amused by my joke.

He turns on the gadget with his left hand and points it at his right. The ‘flashlight’ doesn’t just project a light beam, but intense heat as well. I feel that against my skin until it suddenly stops. Ani is absorbing the heat beam in the same way he did the blaster bolts. Closing my eyes, I concentrate on what he is doing. Energy from the heat is being converted into the Force and pulled through my husband’s body to be drained harmlessly away.

‘That’s a clever trick,’ I decide.

‘It comes in handy,’ he teases me in turn.

He’s in an unusually good mood if he is willing to trade puns with me. I watch him turn off the heat light and lay it on the couch beside him.

‘You are coming to your training very late in life,’ he tells me. ‘For a Jedi, this would normally be taught in early childhood, so don’t expect too much from yourself at first.’

The Sith Lord lifts up my hand and holds his close to it, allowing only a minimal space between the two.

‘The heat or energy or blaster bolt, whatever you are dealing with, must never contact your hand,’ he warns. ‘You convert it into the form you want before it touches you, at about the distance our hands are apart.’

I tip my head, slightly puzzled by what he has said. Not letting something touch me makes sense, but the rest doesn’t.

‘What other forms?’ I ask, curious.

‘Whatever you need it to be,’ he replies. ‘The Force is easiest, but it could be others.’

He’s being deliberately evasive, but that can wait. Sooner or later, as always, I will find out what he is hiding. For now, it really doesn’t matter that much.

‘So,’ he continues. ‘Convert the energy then absorb it or channel it away. Dumping it into the Force is the simplest choice. Some Jedi could redirect and use it for other things - healing, telekinesis, illusions - depending on what they wanted to do.’

I watch him reach into the box for a smaller gadget similar to the heat light he used before. He points it at my hand, turns it on, and I see a red beam of light and feel a low heat on my skin.

‘Low powered heat ray for you to practice with,’ he reveals as he turns it off and places it in my hand. ‘I have files on the project I have been put in charge of to read through, so you can stay in here while I do that. If you need help, just ask.’

My husband has opted to give a brief demonstration, not much in the way of explanation, and left me to figure it out for myself. He has done this before when teaching me Force skills, but this time I am not sure if I can manage it because I have no idea how he did what he did to the heat or blaster bolts.

I turn on the heat ray and point it at my hand, letting myself feel the warmth on my skin and how the energy is flowing. Nothing happens or changes when I try to duplicate Ani’s feat. Giving him a quick, annoyed glance, I return my attention to my hand and the heat hitting it, and try again with the same negative result. Ani ignores me and continues working at his data terminal. Unless I specifically ask for his help, he won’t offer any advice, and I am not going to bother him until I have tried everything I can think of first.

This could be a very long day.

***

I sense my wife’s building frustration. She’s been trying for hours to convert the beam of low level heat into the Force without any success. Walking her through the technique in exacting detail, when she finally gave in and asked for help, hasn’t yielded any results. In this, it appears, she will have a deficiency to make up for elsewhere in her skill set. It’s time to do something different, before we go to bed, rather than let her continue with an unproductive exercise. Her concentration is such that she doesn’t notice I have left my desk until I take the heat light from her hand and turn it off.

‘Enough,’ I tell her. ‘Halcyon Jedi couldn’t use telekinesis and it may be that you have a similar problem with tutaminis. There’s no point in frustrating yourself by fighting that. We will just have to compensate for your lack of that ability with other skills.’

‘More lessons,’ she says, sounding and looking a bit disgusted at that prospect.

‘Think of it as time with me, if that helps,’ I tease her. ‘You used to complain I didn’t spend enough of that with you.’

‘Speaking of time, I’ll go see to tucking in the children,’ she decides. ‘They have been without us for most of the day.’

I catch her fingers, squeeze them lightly and release them as she goes past me. Her aides, Rik, and Thirsk have taken turns keeping our three youngsters busy today, and will need to continue doing so until we arrive at Endor. Once we are there, I won’t have the time to devote to Maia’s training that I do now. Returning to my data terminal, I shut it off and consider just how much work awaits me. The battlestation is badly behind schedule. The only way it will have a functional weapon when the Emperor needs it is if I drive the construction crews mercilessly, night and day. Tired and stressed men make mistakes, and mistakes can lead to disaster. Allowing the plans to fall into Rebel hands, before the laser system was completed and tested, was a supremely stupid idea, and the biggest mistake my master has made.

After picking up Mikal’s stuffed bantha from where he left it on the floor, I study the furry creature for a moment. He used to drag it with him everywhere, but it has been replaced by his new favourite toy, a miniature version of myself. The twin’s toy banthas are in a corner so I retrieve them as well. I have a use for these three soft creatures so I take them to the bedroom and close the door behind me.

Maia is still in with the children. Rather than disrupt bedtime by going in their room, I put the banthas on the table, sit down, remove my helmet and wait for my wife. She’s brought my morning meal from the kitchen so I pour myself a glass of it to drink, indulging myself with the extra calories from it.

‘They’re asleep,’ Maia whispers when she sneaks away from putting the children to bed. ‘I think they played enough today to tire themselves out completely.’   

‘It will be the same until we are at the construction project,’ I warn her. ‘Much of our day will be devoted to what you need to work on.’

I watch her go to the compartment with her nightgowns. When she has dressed herself in one of them and her back is to me, I grab one of the banthas and throw it at her, hitting her between her shoulder blades with the toy. Her reaction is to spin about and stare at me, so I throw the second bantha at her head. This time, she knocks it aside with a hand.

‘Anakin,’ she growls at me.

‘Don’t let them touch you,’ I advise her.

The third bantha misses as she dodges it. I yank the toys back to myself with the Force and start round two, this time adding a bit more energy to my efforts.

‘Not funny, Sith Lord,’ I am scolded when one hits her hard on the knee.

For round three, I send all three toys in her direction at the same time. Finally, my wife reacts the way I wanted her to, and deflects with the Force the one she can’t swat away with her hands.

‘Better,’ I tell her. ‘Now do that with all of them.’

I continue bombarding her with flying toys until I am satisfied she is able to handle all three at once using only the Force and without having to think too much about it. Defending against harmless toys will be good practice for doing the same with other objects.

‘That’s enough,’ I decide. ‘We can work at this some more, at bedtime, tomorrow.’

‘No more banthas?’ my wife asks.

‘Not tonight,’ I admit, laughing at her wary look and dishevelled appearance. 

***

I bend over and pick up one of the toys, intending to throw it at my husband, but as I stand up, I double over in pain, drop the bantha, and make a grab for the edge of the bed. My side feels as if someone has stuck a knife in me. My husband sees and feels my distress, rises from his chair, his supplement drink abandoned, and moves quickly to where he can help me.

‘Ani, it hurts,’ I tell him.

‘Breathe slowly,’ he orders.

I do as I am told and let myself sink to the floor, at his feet. Standing up and moving to the bed would only make it feel worse. The Sith Lord soon joins me, his hands at my waist as he reaches out with the Force and into me to find out what is wrong.

‘He’s fine and you are not miscarrying,’ he informs me. ‘I think he has just implanted himself, so there is nothing to panic about.’

I lean against him and nod. While I know that that this must have happened with my other pregnancies, I never felt it occur and it wasn’t a problem. Now, I am scarred inside, everything is hypersensitive and son number three has chosen a particularly touchy spot to attach to.

‘Let me help you up,’ my husband offers.

‘Please do,’ I agree.

Ani picks me up and settles me on the bed, covering me with the cloak he left on it this morning as he makes me comfortable. Moving hurts. Hopefully this vicious cramping won’t last for very long.

‘I need something else, too,’ I remind him.

‘I have not forgotten what the doctor said,’ he tells me as he goes to retrieve what I need from the ‘fresher.

Ani has remembered Leanan’s warning about the bleeding which might come with this. At least my husband isn’t embarrassed by having to bring me a pad. Then again, he has never once been uncomfortable when I gave birth or in dealing with what he calls ‘women’s matters’, and he has always accepted my reluctance to be intimate with him for that one week out of every six.

‘Thank you, dear,’ I tell him when he returns to me with what I need.

‘I am going to put my helmet back on and comm the doctor to come check on you,’ he decides. ‘For tonight, I will stay in armour just in case anything happens and I need to rush you to Medical.’

‘Don’t fuss so much, Ani,’ I scold him. ‘I am fine, just a bit crampy.’

He sits beside me, squeezes my hand and kisses my forehead.

‘I will worry until our son is born and both of you are safe and healthy,’ Ani admits.

‘But…’ I start.

The Sith Lord shuts me up with a kiss on my mouth, as he has taken to doing when he knows I will come out with a protest of some sort that he doesn’t want to hear.

‘Let me look after you and co-operate when the doctor examines you,’ he advises. ‘It will be far easier than fighting with me about it.’

I sigh in exasperation and give in, for the moment. Ani is being an overprotective fussbudget, like he has been with my previous pregnancies. Once he realizes all is well, he will back off a bit.

‘If you are going to stay in your armour and leave your helmet on, then I want a proper goodnight kiss,’ I tell him.

He obliges me, humouring my request.

***

Part 4

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