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The Sith Lord and the Scientist Section B - Part 8

The Executor, Garos System. Year 0, Month 7.

DAY 23

I spin one of my new bracelets around my wrist, studying the inscription on it once again. Ani’s sigil is still there but now part of a much longer text in the oldest form of Sith hieroglyphics. He won’t give me the translation either. Maybe it says something scandalous, I think, then start giggling to myself. Perhaps something about the hours we spent together before the binding ceremony?

‘No, it doesn’t,’ the Sith Lord answers.

I look over at him. He’s leaning against the doorframe and I can sense that he is quite amused by my speculations.

‘You’re back early,’ I tease.

‘They sent only one Nebulon-B frigate this time,’ he reveals as he makes his way to my side.

‘That’s what I felt earlier, then.’

‘Yes,’ Ani confirms, tipping my face up and taking a close look at me, ‘and you look a bit pale and shaken. Perhaps I should have sedated you again.’

I make a face at that. Being constantly doped up is no solution to my empathy and Ani has discovered that he can’t block it either. Not without disrupting our bond and creating even bigger problems than that would solve.

‘I’ll survive,’ I tell him, ‘and eventually figure out what works best. Having Melina and Daini help me find the files I wanted was a good distraction.’

‘How are your studies going?’ he asks, settling in his chair across from me.

I look down at my datapad and pile of printouts. To occupy my time I have been busy reading about the system we are in.

‘Garos IV has a fascinating history,’ I decide. ‘I think if the Empire hadn’t stepped in, though, they would have eventually killed themselves off in their centuries long civil war. Some of the resource reports are impressive, too.’

I sense I have his complete attention. He knows I would only mention something like that if I thought it might be important.

‘Did you know that hibridium ore could be abundant there?’ I question, curious to see if he has heard about its reported natural cloaking effects.

‘Interesting. And how did you come to that conclusion?’ he replies.

He won’t own up to what I am now sure that he knows. Alright, I’ll play along with him.

‘Geology,’ I tease. ‘The area around Mt. Usca should have several large deposits. I wonder if anyone has bothered to look.’

‘What else have you discovered?’ he abruptly changes the topic.

I must have just stumbled onto something I shouldn’t have.

‘It’s quite similar to some of the more temperate parts of my home planet. Lots of forests, too, and the Locura Ocean is supposed to be a tourist attraction,’ I tell him, sticking to what should be safer topics. ‘We should visit sometime to have a look around.’

‘Anything else?’ he prods again.

No reaction to my suggestion to play tourist? How odd. He must be concerned I have found out more than I have.

‘I don’t understand why the rebels are using this system as a transfer point,’ I admit. ‘Wouldn’t Gala or Toprawa be closer to Yavin?’

Even though his face is hidden, I know he’s smiling at that suggestion. Oh, no. I can feel a lecture or a lesson coming on. Rats.

‘What do you remember about the well-established hyperspace routes?’ Ani asks.

I consider that for a bit. He made me memorize all the more important worlds along each of the five most commonly used ones.

‘Gala is on the Permlian Trade Route and Toprawa, the Hydian Way,’ I answer.

‘Tell me what using Gala or Garos implies in terms of military strategy. From the rebel point of view,’ he instructs next.

‘For Gala, heavier ship traffic to avoid, Imperial patrols, a greater chance of being noticed,’ I list the cons, first, then add, ‘but it also gives more cover and the routes are better known so there is less chance of an astrogational mishap. Using a more out of the way system like Garos could draw even more attention, especially if it results in significantly higher activity where there shouldn’t be any. If I were them, I would send freighters and less noticeable ships along the regular trade routes, and capital ships via less utilized paths. It would be wise to vary the routes used, too, just to make it more difficult to track changes in traffic volume.’

‘The Aruna Pass again,’ he notes with amusement.

‘The path less traveled,’ I admit. ‘It’s a good strategy.’

‘The path less ...’ he starts to repeat, then abruptly gets out of his chair and hurries from the room.

What was that all about?

I give my head a shake and resume studying my bracelet. Bored with that, I take a closer look at the inscription he burned onto my skin and compare it to the one on each of my arm bands. It’s not quite the same, I decide, even though at first glance it appears to be. Running a finger over the raised, black hieroglyphs, I wonder again why he did that to me. No explanation was forthcoming when I asked and I haven’t yet worked up the nerve to try once more for one.

With a sigh, I abandon that train of thought and shut off my datapad with a touch. Ani was right about how stressful and difficult I found blocking out the deaths of so many at once. Hundreds of rebels were killed when their frigate was destroyed. At least he warned me well in advance, even delayed the inevitable until he was sure I was as prepared as I could be for it. Closing my eyes, I decide to deal with all of this later. Right now, I am tired and need to have a nap.

***

I open the meditation pod at last, finally satisfied with how I have adjusted my plans. Now if Griff follows his usual behavior patterns all should go as I predict.

A few quick steps and I am looking down at my little wife again. She is sleeping once more. Good. Her extreme empathic sensitivity, which I thought might be an asset, has proven to be nothing but a nuisance instead. Even the Jedi Council would have had no easy solution for this problem. Perhaps they would have trained her as a healer, and kept her in the Temple, safely isolated from the real world and its pain.

I could so easily destroy her empathy, corrupt her just enough that the deaths of others would be beneath her notice. But that is a slippery slope and the price I would pay in the end would be far too high. So when it is necessary, I will use what little I know of Sith alchemy to dull her senses and sedate her.

I reach over and run a finger along her cheekbone. There are times when her insight surprises me. But is it really insight? Or merely a faint echo of the future knowledge she so thoroughly removed?

She doesn’t know what I have discovered in her letters about that.

How ironic.

My future lies hidden within her shattered memories and I have only one key which will unlock it.

***

‘Ani?’ I whisper, opening my eyes.

The Sith Lord is standing beside me, and I know he must have been watching me sleep like he often does. I stay put, letting my brain slowly wake up.

‘Hello, beautiful,’ he teases.

‘Flattery will get you everything,’ I tease him right back.

‘I like the sound of that promise,’ he replies.

I reach up and grab his hand, tug on it, and try to get him to sit next to me. He gives me no resistance and I am soon wrapped in his arms.

‘You should try to eat,’ Ani hints, starting his usual fussing.

‘And you should be on the bridge,’ I fire back.

‘Don’t ...’ he starts, so I finish ‘... fuss so much.’

‘Have I ever told you how stubborn you are?’ he teases.

‘Too many times to remember,’ I reply, ‘and usually when I am being difficult.’

‘And you have been unusually well-behaved and co-operative of late,’ he comments. ‘Should I be worried? Or have you decided to be a nice compliant little concubine after all?’

‘No need to worry,’ I reassure him. ‘It’s just that...’

I stop to think. It’s just what? That I am happy and content with him? That there has been nothing in recent days to disrupt things between us? Ever since Michael gave me that scolding I have seen no reason to fight against anything Ani has wanted me to do. He only wants to protect and keep me safe. And he loves me.

I snuggle in tight and purr a bit. The Sith Lord’s low rumbling laugh soon echoes in my ears. He’s just as happy as I am even though he would never allow it to show outside this room.

‘I think I will make love to you every single day if this is the result of it,’ he finally decides.

Oh. Maybe that’s why I am in the mood that I am.

‘How about right now,’ I suggest.

‘Now?’ he asks, sounding a bit incredulous.

‘Your new Admiral is more polite than Griff and almost never comms when you are in here. We shouldn’t be interrupted. So now, Ani. Right now,’ I insist, letting myself fall backwards and pulling him over on top of me.

The Sith Lord hesitates, then waves a hand towards the door. I hear it shut, but he doesn’t bother triggering the environmental controls. Instead he leaves his armor on, only removing his belt and ripping off his codpiece. Someone is in a hurry, I decide, and doesn’t want to wait.

‘You are insatiable,’ he notes once we have finished our sexual exercise for the afternoon.

I snicker a bit at that observation.

‘I think that’s more you than me,’ I tease. ‘You just want to make up for all those years without.’

‘Perhaps,’ he admits, pulling me in close again. ‘Now why don’t I let you do some of the work this time?’

He’s ready again?

I quickly comply and straddle him when he rolls onto his back. It feels quite odd to do this with him in his armor. The leather allows no contact between us except where he is within me, so I shut my eyes and concentrate on the sensations my movements produce. When I am close to orgasm, I feel him in my mind, looking about, probing for something, using the lack of mental barriers between us to force his way deep into my memories, immersing himself in knowledge I had deliberately hidden. No, I think as my body finally contracts around him and he thrusts hard upwards into me in response, letting himself have his own release.

I fall on top of him, a bit dazed by what just happened. Lying there quietly for a few minutes, I debate what to say about what he did to me.

‘Did you find what you were searching for?’ I finally ask, a bit hurt that he would resort to using sex in this way.

‘Yes,’ he abruptly answers, ‘and I must go now.’

He lifts me off his chest and sets me aside. I watch as he goes into the ‘fresher to clean up and replace his belt and codpiece. There is not a word from him to me at all, and the emotions I am picking up from him are a confused muddle. Whatever he found in my mind, he doesn’t know quite how to deal with it. Ani stops at the end of the bed and stares at me for a few minutes before leaving, and once he is gone, I curl up to have a good cry.

‘What he just did to me was cruel and devious,’ I whisper to myself.

‘...and necessary,’ the Sith Lord adds, taking a seat beside me on the bed.

He’s come back. Why bother? Surely he found everything he wanted to know already.

His touch is hesitant when he brushes a hand down my face, wiping away the tears.

‘Please don’t cry, little goddess,’ he quietly requests, ‘I can’t stand knowing that I caused you pain.’

A few more sniffles escape.

‘Hush, now, my wife,’ he soothes. ‘I won’t do that to you ever again. I promise.’

‘Why?’ I get out somehow.

‘Three and a half years,’ he tells me. ‘I had to know why your friend considered that important enough to add it as a warning to you at the bottom of his note and why you kept that information from me.’

I lie still while I try to puzzle this out. After a while, I give up since I have no idea why Rick mentioned that.

‘So what was the answer?’ I ask the Sith Lord.

Ani instantly closes himself off a bit. He doesn’t want to tell me that at all. Alright, I won’t pry.

‘I will tell you when you need to know,’ he decides, ‘but I do wonder where and how the Admiral became privy to that particular detail.’

I work away at my memory. Rick’s postscript made no sense to me at the time, so I didn’t bother reading it to Ani. It sounds like he found out about that anyway. He must have swiped the letter from my compartment at some time, but that means he must be able to ...

‘You can read English?’ I blurt out.

He laughs a bit at that.

‘It took you this long to figure that out?’ the Sith Lord notes, still amused.

So that’s how he learned Lord Byron’s poem. He must have been into my poetry book as well.

‘Sneaky Sith Lord,’ I tease.

‘Not that sneaky. You left your crib sheet in my office so I used it to work out your own script. I am surprised you never noticed your books disappearing from time to time,’ he admits. ‘I only felt competent enough in reading the cursive form a short while ago and began looking through your letters the last few days. Some of them were worse than dealing with encryption codes. Your brothers have atrocious handwriting.’

So much for privacy. By now he must know far more about me than I ever intended him to. I hide my face in the pillow. Oh, no. Liz’s e-mails I had printed off were in with that stack of family letters. He’s probably read those, too. And seen what she had been replying to. This is far, far worse than embarrassing.

I feel his fingers pull my hair back from where it has fallen onto my face. Ani doesn’t say anything for quite a while, just soothes me with gentle touches. As the minutes pass, I let myself relax a little. Maybe he didn’t read everything I had stashed away after all.

‘I trust my performance has exceeded your idle speculations,’ he finally teases.

I go bright red. Rats. He did read those e-mails.

‘You are a brat and a snoop,’ I growl back.

‘Maybe I should find someone to slice into your private computer logs,’ I threaten a bit. ‘There has got to be something just as embarrassing in those.’

‘No, there’s nothing personal in any of them. Only notes about various projects I am working on,’ the Sith Lord reveals.

‘You just won’t let me win, will you?’ I complain.

‘No, I won’t, and I wonder why you keep insisting on trying to,’ Ani states.

‘Because sooner or later, I will,’ I declare.

‘Stubborn,’ he calls me.

‘So are you,’ I reply, letting a smile start to creep across my face.

‘Contrary,’ Ani teases, then rapidly adds, ‘and impertinent, impudent, and incorrigible.’

At that I move from where I had been lying and tackle him. Holding him in place with my hands on his shoulders, I set my nose a few inches from his mask and stare into his eyes through its lenses.

‘Cranky, cantankerous Sith Lord,’ I answer. ‘What am I supposed to do with you?’

‘Make my life interesting, I think you once said,’ he tells me, sliding a hand under my nightgown.

‘Feeling frisky again are we?’ I tease as I feel his fingers brush across my back.

‘Perhaps,’ he concedes while his other hand joins the first one.

As he prepares to turn me over onto my back the comm goes off.

‘Tell whoever it is to go away,’ I suggest, ‘or better yet, give them some silly task to do. Maybe tell them to count all the doors on the ship. If you do that every time someone interrupts, word will get around and no one will try contacting you using the comm channel in here.’

‘I can’t just ignore a comm call, or make myself unavailable - not when the ship is on active duty,’ the Sith Lord scolds. ‘And you, my Favorite, you are worse than incorrigible.’

When I try to reply, he silences me with a finger across my lips and answers the chiming with a wave of his other hand. I set my head on his shoulder and stay where I am sprawled on top of him.

‘Yes?’ I hear Ani say, ‘What is it?’

‘We have left the Garos system, my Lord,’ the Admiral answers.

Well that was a stupid reason to call the Sith Lord.

‘... and I need your instructions for where to go next,’ the officer finishes.

I can supply a few suggestions, I peevishly think. How about out the nearest airlock?

Maia, Ani warns.

I don’t like having our fun intruded upon, I grumpily admit.

You had better learn to live with it, he tells me, since it will probably happen on a regular basis from now on.

‘My Lord?’ the Admiral prompts, sounding a bit puzzled by the minute of silence.

‘One moment, Admiral,’ the Sith Lord answers.

Up you get, stubborn one, Ani decides, lifting me from my comfortable spot and setting me off to one side. Behave yourself until I have dealt with this.

I watch him leave the bedroom and head out to his pod. Rats. The light on the comm panel flashes for a second or two, then goes dark, and I know that the call has been transferred elsewhere. Eventually I hear the main door open and shut, and a light mental touch tells me Ani has left for the bridge again. Double rats. He won’t be back for quite some time now. With a disgusted growl, I get up and head into the kitchen. Dinnertime and it looks like I will be having that by myself. Triple rats.

When I am done eating, I take out my annoyance at the Admiral on the metal plate my meal was on, letting it fall into the sink with a crash.

‘Temper, temper,’ I hear my brother scold from behind me. ‘Or are we feeling a bit Sith-like today?’

I freeze in place, thinking.

‘Just what do you mean by that?’ I finally ask.

‘Permanently binding yourself to him in that way was a rather foolish thing to do,’ Michael states.

‘What?’ I respond.

‘You really should think twice about anything that he tells you, and three times or more before you do anything that Sith Lord husband of yours wants you to,’ he scolds. ‘Really, Maia, I thought you had far more common sense than that.’

I spin around and glare at him. How dare he judge me.

‘He didn’t make me do anything. It was my own free choice,’ I snap, starting to get angry at him.

‘Was it really? Or did he just play on your feelings for him?’ Michael starts questioning, forcing me to look at what I did and why.

His words are like having a bucket of cold water dumped on me. Ani did manipulate me once again, I decide after a bit of thought, and most expertly, too.

‘Well, I don’t care,’ I growl at my brother. ‘I love him anyway and if he needed to be bound to me a second way, then so be it.’

He gives me an exasperated look and shakes his head.

‘Was he honest enough to tell you beforehand the consequences of what you let him do to you? Has he ever really told you the whole truth about anything?’ my brother rather ruthlessly continues his questions.

‘Consequences? What consequences?’ I ask, concerned. Ani said nothing to me about this.

Michael lets out a mournful sounding sigh.

‘You are now permanently aligned with a Sith Lord, sister dear, despite the fact you are a Jedi,’ he sadly tells me. ‘And even though he has been careful to keep any taint of the dark side from you, you are now a Sith, and I can’t do anything more to help you. I am not allowed to interfere. I can only be a shoulder for you to cry on when you need it.’

‘Michael?’ I call to him, feeling completely abandoned like I did before he found me when I was lost in the woods as a child

He moves closer, then wraps his arms around me, becoming solid enough that I can feel the fabric of his robes against my skin. Afraid that he might disappear on me again, I cling to him.

‘I will always be here for you, Maia. All you have to do is call,’ he promises.

My brother steps back a little once he knows I am more settled, and looks carefully at me. With a wicked grin, he rubs my stomach.

‘Another nephew for me. It ought to be fun watching him grow up. Maybe I should tell him a few stories about his mother’s pranks when he is older,’ Michael teases.

‘Don’t you dare,’ I growl. ‘Ani will have enough to worry about as a father without the prospect of you giving our son any bright ideas for mischief to get into.’

That bratty little smile of his just gets bigger. I let out the sigh I had been holding in.

‘Life just keeps getting more complicated,’ I complain to him.

‘It always does,’ my brother admits. ‘Now you look tired and should go get some sleep.’

‘Worrywart,’ I respond, wandering back to the bed.

‘Someone has to do it,’ he promptly replies, tossing the blankets over top of me.

He tips his head as if he is listening to something I can’t hear.

‘Anakin will be busy until quite late, so I will stay and watch over you until he gets back,’ Michael offers.

‘How did you find that out?’ I ask, puzzled.

‘He just told me,’ he admits.

Great. Two fussbudgets working together.

‘Having Ani nag me all the time is bad enough,’ I grumble. ‘Adding a Jedi ghost to the team will make it that much worse.’

‘I promise I won’t be a nag. That’s your husband’s job. I will just keep you company when you need it and he is not around,’ my brother decides. ‘The council shouldn’t see that as interference.’

I wonder what he meant by the last bit, but my eyelids are too heavy to keep open any longer.

The Executor, Deep space, en route to Yavin. Year 0, Month 7.

DAY 25

I feel Ani’s lips behind my ear as he carefully slides his arm out from under my head. He’s up early this morning and is trying not to disturb me.

‘You’re awake anyway, though,’ he quietly observes.

‘I’ve been lying here, thinking, for quite a while,’ I admit.

‘About your brother?’ the Sith Lord asks.

‘Partially,’ I answer. ‘He won’t tell me how he ended up as a Jedi ghost or what he is up to. When I persisted in asking about it yesterday, he just looked annoyed and pulled a vanishing act.’

‘At least you know how to get rid of him if he is being a pest,’ Ani teases.

I turn over to look into his face. He has been very tolerant of my brother’s presence, and even amused himself by teasing Michael rather mercilessly when the opportunity arose last night. Then again, Anakin was on the receiving end, too. It was quite funny watching the two of them acting more like grumpy old friends than a Jedi and a Sith Lord who are polar opposites.

‘Thank you for putting up with him,’ I tell Ani before pulling him to me for a quick kiss.

‘I have ulterior motives,’ my love admits. ‘I will need him to watch over you when I have to resort to Sith poisons to heavily sedate you. Reena doesn’t have the knowledge of the Force that requires - only a Jedi healer like your brother can do that. And he is good company who will keep you quiet and occupied when I don’t have any time to spare.’

I snuggle in close to him. Soon all of his attention and time will be focused on dealing with the rebel fleet and their main base at Yavin. From now until that is done with, there will be many days I will only see him when he comes to bed and gets up in the morning. And perhaps not even then, I admit. Ani may opt to crash out in his meditation pod if the situation requires him to stay in his armor for several days.

I keep thinking about this. At least he will be nearby on the ship even if he will be busy and occupied most of the time. There is no way I will stop worrying about him, though, and I guess I will be getting a dose of what all military wives have to deal with when their husbands are on active duty.

‘Should I give you a proper send off today?’ I suggest.

‘I think I can spare the time for that,’ he decides as I am pulled in close for a much longer kiss than the one I gave him earlier.

I reluctantly let him go from my arms a while later and quietly watch as he tosses the blankets back over me. Lately he hasn’t bothered with his robe in the mornings so I am getting an eyeful of muscles and .... Stop that, I scold myself. He needs to get going today and doesn’t have any more time to fool around with you.

‘Lost your shyness at last, haven’t you?’ he teases.

I promptly hide under the sheets. In response to my actions, a peal of laughter comes out of him. His weight settles beside me on the bed and the covers slide off my face as he tugs them down.

‘Hi, handsome,’ I try.

‘Good morning, gorgeous,’ he replies, playing along with me.

I push myself up a little and give him another kiss. He starts a second when I try to pull back.

‘Come here,’ he orders, motioning me into his arms.

There is no way I will turn this offer down, so I happily curl up around him. His arms wrap about my waist as he holds me close.

‘I know the next days will be hard on you, my little goddess,’ Ani admits, ‘so I will spend what time I can with you to make it easier for you to cope.’

Shifting a little, I set my forehead against his cheek and brush my fingers through his hair. He’s let it grow out and keeps it cropped short now rather than completely removing it. I know he is doing this just for me, even though it must drive him nuts from time to time. With a contented sigh, I lean against him, happy to stay where I am for as long as he will allow me to.

After a few minutes, he speaks in Sith, >Maia, rest, my little wife, and sleep.<

My eyes gradually close and I feel him ease me back onto my side. A quick kiss is pressed to my cheek, then he is gone.

When I wake again a few hours later, I can see that breakfast has been left on the table for me. I stretch out in bed and have to take a minute or two to work the cramps from my calves. Pointing my toes was a mistake.

Settling myself at the table, I dig into my meal, and stash the leftovers in the kitchen when I am finished. There will be no bath for me today. Not unless Ani comes back to help me with that. Maybe I will try a shower instead.

Once in the ‘fresher, I carefully examine the controls for the shower. They are quite different than those on the Devastator. Okay, I finally decide, run my finger along the thermo-strip, pick a temperature I like, then turn it on. It shouldn’t be that hard to do. With a grin and a touch, I select what should be a nice hot shower. No Ani around to scold me about using too warm a setting, and ten minutes of this should be almost as good as one of my long soaks.

I drop my nightgown on the floor and step into the bath. After activating the shower in anticipation of what should be a hot stream of water, I let out a loud shriek as the water hits me, and scramble out again. That was cold! Glaring at the controls, I shut off the water and chose the hottest setting possible. Wary now, I start the shower and gingerly stick my hand into it. Still cold.

He didn’t, I think, fuming. With another push, I try out the settings for the taps. Ani did. He carried out his threat from last night and turned the temperature back on me.

You sneaky Sith Lord, I scold him, not caring if I am interrupting anything.

There is a flash of amusement at that and the observation, Discovered cold showers have we?

Just you wait, I threaten.

Wait for what? he responds.

Itching powder in your armor and fake spiders in your boots, I decide, and maybe glue in your helmet if I can find some.

Your brother was right about your temper, he teases, you are nasty when you are deprived of your hot soaks in the bath.

I mull that comment over, then start to smile. There are better ways to get my revenge than childish pranks. With a giggle, I bury what I just thought up. He will find out soon enough how I will pay him back.

What are you up to, Maia? he prods.

I snicker louder. Not knowing what I am going to do will drive him crazy. That should be almost as good as what I have planned.

Maia, .... Ani starts to warn, then breaks off when his attention is caught by something happening up on the bridge.

While I wait for him to get back to me, I have the shortest, coldest shower of my life and get dressed. I need to occupy my time, so I wander into the den with the intentions of watching a few ‘vids on the screen. An hour later, bored with that, I decide to head back to the bedroom to do some reading.

Brace yourself! Ani screams into my mind.

There is no time to react. The ship lurches and my feet go out from under me. I do my best to protect my middle with my arms, trying to keep my son from harm. Then everything seems to happen all at once as the floor rushes towards me and my forehead cracks against the arm on one of the chairs.

Those are interesting spots, I think, as I open my eyes and see different colored circles dancing in my vision. Maybe I should take an inventory of the damage. I am sprawled on the floor of the den, something hot and sticky is running down my cheek, and my arm hurts. Suppressing a moan, I roll from my stomach onto my side. Now I can see the blood on the floor from the cut near my hairline and my right arm is definitely fractured. I must have done that when I tried to break my fall. My son is fine, I quickly discover, and is thankfully being quiet despite the jolt we both received. I guess I had better get some help.

Ani? I call.

No answer. If I am in this sort of shape, then what happened to him and the crew?

Alright, then, since no help is coming, it’s time to be self-sufficient. First step, get up. I struggle for a few minutes but manage to eventually get to my feet. Cradling my injured arm against my body, I shakily make my way to the door. The main med-lab is about fifteen minutes away and thanks to my many trips down there, I know the quickest route, too.

Ignoring Ani’s orders about being covered up and escorted about, I open the door to our quarters and make my way towards where Reena’s office is located. The few officers I encounter look a bit stunned and shaken. None of them pay any attention to me until I almost run straight into the Sith Lord’s two wingmen.

Torin is doing his best to guide Rik, who is limping on a splinted leg and a bit battered looking, along the corridor. When they see me, they both go a bit white.

‘Sithspit,’ I hear Torin curse as he shoves Rik at a Lieutenant walking by.

A few seconds later, I have been carefully picked up by the pilot and am being carried at a run along the hallway. The crew in our way instantly scatter. Torin commandeers a turbolift from two officers and impatiently waits for it to arrive at the correct floor. Down another corridor, around a corner, and we are there.

‘His Lordship is going to have a heart attack,’ Torin tells me as he shoves past the officers crowding the entrance to the triage center. A few start to protest until they see exactly who it is that the Commander has brought in.

‘Not possible. That’s controlled by a pacemaker,’ I weakly joke.

I look about the room. Most of the injuries seem to be similar to mine. Cuts, bruises and the odd broken bone. A few appear to be much worse. Trever turns from the man he had been looking at to say something to a nearby medical droid. Then the doctor spots me and goes just as pale as the two pilots had. That’s an interesting reaction to a scalp wound and a simple break.

‘Bring my lady in here, Commander,’ Trever orders, waving the pilot along after him. Once inside, he points at the bed, ‘Put her down,’ he instructs, adding for emphasis, ‘Carefully.’ After Torin has complied, the doctor finishes with, ‘Now go make yourself useful somewhere.’

The doctor doesn’t touch me, only gives me a quick visual check.

‘Reena,’ I hear him call on the comm when he is finished looking, ‘My lady is here with a lacerated scalp and a simple fracture of the ulna. You will need to assess her for internal and fetal injuries.’

For a few seconds there is silence, then a curt response of, ‘I will be there immediately.’

I watch Trever hurry back to the triage room. Reena shows up the instant he is gone. She gives her head a shake when she sees me and drops the medical gear in her hands on the table next to the bed.

The first thing she does is pull out the scanner she uses to monitor my pregnancy. I know the routine, so I do my best to help her with my one good arm.

‘He’s fine,’ she notes with a sigh of relief when the scans are finished. ‘Praise the Seven Great Goddesses. I can just imagine what Lord Vader would have done if there were any problems in that department.’

This is not news to me since I already knew my son had not been affected at all.

‘Let’s look after that bloody mess on your head first,’ my doctor decides, ‘then I will deal with your arm.’

It stings when she cleans up the cut, but the bacta bandage rapidly numbs the wound. Her fingers expertly assess my broken arm next. I had been careful to not do anything to worsen the fracture, so Reena simply sets it in a metal brace to keep it immobile.

‘I will fuse the break for you once I have checked to see that the equipment is available,’ she informs me, then scolds as she heads out the door, ‘and next time, don’t try to stop a fall in that way. Use the same technique you would in the gym.’

Feeling a bit sheepish at that, I shift my attention to my arm, using control to ignore the pain. I wonder where Ani is? He must have felt what happened to me, so why hasn’t he turned up yet?

Because Commander Torin commed to tell me you were safe and I had a damaged ship to deal with, the Sith Lord states.

I look up. Ani’s standing in the doorway and judging from his body language, he’s rather upset by the situation.

Reena just told me what you did to yourself, he reveals as he walks over to stand next to the bed.

Color drains from my cheeks.

So it’s now my fault I broke my arm?

Don’t misinterpret what I said, the Sith Lord scolds. You didn’t know how to fall when pregnant and only reacted the way I would have expected you to.

At that I bite my lip. He is making me feel like I am six years old and in trouble for doing something stupid. A sigh breaks the pattern of his regulated breathing.

This wasn’t anyone’s fault but mine, the Sith Lord admits. I should have known better than to let the Admiral shift all the shields forward. If he had even left the bare minimum to the stern the gyro-control system wouldn’t have been damaged to the extent it was.

One of his hands reaches over and a finger firmly pushes the bacta bandage back against my skin from where it had started to lift off.

Unfortunately I have had to call on Admiral Griff to destroy the base at Yavin, he tells me next, and I am sure he is busy gloating about that.

He’s going to completely botch it, I warn Ani, somehow knowing that this is exactly what will happen.

I can sense Ani’s smile. He knows Griff better than I do.

I know he will, Maia. In fact, I am counting on him letting the Rebels escape from Yavin.

I stare up at him. Plots and plans again.

You are up to something, I decide.

Perhaps, Ani teases.

The door opens and Reena comes back in. Time to get my arm fixed up.

‘Do you feel up to walking, my lady?’ the doctor asks.

I give a quick nod. Having Ani carry me about in front of the crew might be asking a bit much. He steadies me once I am on my feet and slides an arm around my waist for support. Our destination is not far away and I soon find myself lying down again, this time with my broken arm stuck inside some sort of medical equipment. It makes an odd hum while I wait for it to finish. The Sith Lord, I see, has gone over to where his wingman, Rik, has his leg resting inside a similar gadget.

‘And what were you doing, Commander?’ I hear Ani ask.

The pilot says nothing, just looks a bit chagrined. The Sith Lord sets his hands on his hips and stares at Rik, waiting for an answer.

‘Well?’ he prompts when none is forthcoming.

‘Sleeping,’ Rik finally mumbles.

I hide a smile behind my left hand and try not to laugh. He fell out of bed. How embarrassing. No wonder Rik didn’t want to admit that to the Sith Lord.

‘In the middle of your duty shift?’ Ani scolds.

Someone’s in trouble.

‘It was mid-shift meal break and I needed a nap,’ Rik owns up, then quickly adds, ‘my Lord.’

He doesn’t usually bother addressing Ani properly, so what has he been up to? I don’t hear the Sith Lord’s next question or Rik’s answer because Reena is back to check on me. She looks at the monitor, then shuts off the gadget and frees my arm from the brace.

‘I can’t fuse the break completely, my lady,’ the doctor warns. ‘Doing that would pull too much calcium and magnesium from your system all at once and your son’s needs have to come first. So you will have to behave yourself for a few days, increase the dosage of your supplements, and come back for a second and possibly a third treatment.’

Great. Two more trips down here. I glance over at Ani and Rik. The wingman is doing his best to look contrite while the Sith Lord is chewing him out about something.

‘... and no more late night sessions in the sims,’ Ani finishes, shaking a finger at his captive audience.

‘But, ...’ Rik starts a protest.

They are both interrupted when Trever rushes in and pulls Reena aside.

‘I need your help,’ Trever tells his colleague. ‘They have finally freed Tosack and Rimsen from the wreckage down in gyro-control.’

‘You are free to go,’ Reena calls over her shoulder to me as she runs after him.

Ani and Rik had looked over at the two doctors, but the second they are gone, they are back at it again. The Sith Lord scolding, his wingman trying to get out of whatever punishment his superior has come up with.

I ignore both of them and slip off of the bed. Neither man is paying any attention to me, so I disappear out the door, heading in the same direction I saw Trever and Reena go in a minute before.

***

I spend a few extra minutes lecturing Black Two on the consequences of spending too much time in the sims. He isn’t happy I have forbidden him any more late night sessions, but I want to ensure I don’t need to worry about him falling asleep again when he is on duty.

It isn’t until he looks over at the other bone-knitting station that I realize Maia is no longer in the room.

Where has she gone? My Favorite knows better than to wander about the medical wing, so what is she up to now?

Annoyed, I head out of the treatment room and concentrate on our bond, using it to track her movements.

***

After a minute or two, I am lost in the maze of treatment rooms and wards. Eventually I find my way to what must be intensive care. The two doctors are deep in debate about something. Hiding around a corner, I listen in a bit.

‘We should concentrate on Rimsen,’ Trever states, ‘he might recover, but Tosack...’

I hear fabric move and guess that he has thrown his hands up in the air in frustration.

‘... at his age, not even a month in bacta will do much for him.’

Reena’s calm voice reluctantly agrees with him, ‘Keep him comfortable and pain free, then, and let him go.’

Their steps move away from me so I peer around the corner. No one in sight and if I move a touch to the left I can see into one of the private rooms behind the monitoring station. Commander Tosack is in there, hooked up to all kinds of equipment. Doing my best to be quiet, I sneak around the corner, wait until the ‘droid at the station is looking away from the direction I need to go in, and make a dash for my intended destination. Once inside, I let out a sigh of relief. Now how is my math teacher really doing?

Looking at the monitors doesn’t help much. Heartrate and breathing are obvious, but I have no idea what the rest of this stuff is measuring. Well, I have a better way to evaluate things. Settling myself in a nearby chair, I reach out with my senses, then yank them back quickly. Gods. How can anyone still be alive after their body has taken such a beating? His chest and upper torso have been crushed and both legs are shattered. At least his mind is intact.

An internal debate rages within me. I know I can do something to help him, but Ani will probably have quite a fit about it. Several times I stretch out my hand to touch the injured man, then yank it back. I stiffen my resolve and pull the chair closer. It will only be a matter of time before someone, most likely the Sith Lord, finds me. If I am going to try anything I will have to do it now.

I take Tosack’s pale, cold hand in mine and drop into a trance. The Force swirls about us so I grab onto it and channel it into the Commander, willing it to heal as I do so. Hours seem to pass as I endlessly repeat the same process.

***

I find Maia in the intensive care ward, sitting next to Commander Tosack. She’s holding his hand in an attempt to comfort him, I guess. For a brief moment, I almost pull her away from him.

Then I sense what she is doing.

Sithspit.

I should have known she would try something like this once she heard the old engineer had been injured. Maia is very loyal to those she considers friends.

Foolish concubine, I think, irritated. Now I will have to spend tonight and tomorrow watching over you instead of dealing with my damaged ship.

Reena comes in the room and moves to touch Maia’s shoulder. I instantly warn her away.

‘Don’t touch or move her, doctor,’ I tell her, ‘you will break her concentration if you do.’

Once a Jedi healer starts to work on injuries as extensive as Tosack’s are, it is best to leave them alone. My Favorite is not trained to do this, so all I can do is wait and hope her instincts are correct. If her patient can’t be helped, Maia’s trance will be broken automatically, but until then, it could be dangerous to interrupt it.

The doctor backs off and leaves after checking several of the monitors.

‘Stubborn little goddess,’ I scold once we are alone, ‘you just have to do these things, don’t you?’

No response.

‘What am I going to do with you?’ I ask of her, knowing she can’t answer. ‘You insist on making my life difficult at times, but I don’t know what I would do without you.’

I pace up and down the room, measuring its dimensions for a number of hours.

Maia’s impromptu decision to help Tosack isn’t the only thing I have to worry about. I glance over at her. Nothing has changed. She’s still sitting there with his hand in hers.

The Commander wasn’t the only one injured today.

Maia could have lost my son today. I could have lost her today. And she was hurt - hurt because of my carelessness. Her broken arm was my fault. Mine.

I start brooding about that.

I should have made sure she was safe. Should have warned her sooner. Should have known that this would happen.

If only I hadn’t insisted on turning the ship around to chase after my son. All I did was create a situation the rebels could take advantage of. That Solo could take advantage of.

My eyes narrow in fury. Damn that smuggler. Too many times he has shown up in the nick of time to pull off a rescue or interfere with my plans. I shouldn’t have let him go on Garqi, but Maia came first.

He won’t escape me forever, I decide, and when I do have him in custody, I vow, I will see to it that he is never a problem again.

I sense a slight change in the Force, and quickly go to Maia’s side. The Commander’s condition is finally stable. She’s done everything she can. It’s now up to Tosack to do the rest.

Her hand falls out his, so I carefully lift her up and take her to an unoccupied treatment room.

Cold, I hear her think, so I pull off my cloak and tuck it around her. She promptly drags it up to her cheek and sighs.

‘Thank you,’ she whispers to me as I resume my vigil over her.

***

DAY 26

‘It’s been almost a day, my Lord, and she’s still sleeping,’ I hear Reena quietly say.

‘As I would expect,’ the Sith Lord replies. ‘A healing of that extent requires substantial recovery time for the Jedi healer doing it. She will be ravenous when she does wake up, so be prepared.’

I hear him step away from me as someone else enters the room.

‘Yes, Admiral?’ he snaps. ‘What is so urgent that you had to disturb me here?’

‘Repairs are almost complete, my Lord, and the Mon Calamari have started a second round of attacks on the blockade. Griff is doing nothing to stop them,’ the officer reports. ‘Shouldn’t we be .....’

‘Out,’ Ani growls, taking a few loud steps towards his officer and sounding close to losing his temper.

‘My Lord?’ the Admiral asks.

‘You heard me. Get out,’ the Sith Lord orders. ‘Before I throw you out the nearest airlock.’

From the mad scurry of footsteps, the Admiral has quickly complied. Fully awake now, I open my eyes, look over at Ani’s back and start snickering.

‘You certainly have a way with people,’ I tease him.

He spins about at the sound of my voice.

‘And you. You, my Favorite, are the most stubborn, obstinate, willful and reckless creature in the galaxy,’ he fires back, stalking towards me and shaking a finger. ‘I think I will have to lock you away in Bast Castle and set a guard on you just to keep you out of mischief.’

I can see Reena standing in the door, looking rather amused at this exchange. She clears her throat to get Ani’s attention.

‘And you, my Lord,’ Reena states, once he has turned to look at her, ‘are disturbing the other patients. If you won’t be quiet, I will have to throw you out.’

I can sense the debate going on in the Sith Lord’s head. If he is difficult or tries to bully her, the doctor has no qualms at all about pulling medical privilege on him and tossing him out of med-lab.

‘You have already discharged my Favorite, so I will take her back to our quarters,’ Ani decides.

He gives me no opportunity to protest, simply wraps the cloak I had been using as a blanket around me, picks me up, and packs me out of the room and down the hall. As we pass the various sections in Medical, I catch a quick glimpse of Rik playing sabacc with one of his wardmates and Tosack propped up in his bed in a private room.

He looks much better than he did, I think.

He will recover completely, Ani tells me. And I will insist he retires this time.

Good luck, I reply, he loves this ship far too much to ever leave it.

So, tell me, my stubborn little goddess, why you felt it necessary to sneak off and do something so foolish? he asks.

For a few minutes I consider what to answer.

I like the grouchy old engineer, I finally admit. He reminds me of my mother’s father and he likes playing mathematical games with me, too.

Ah, Ani replies to my thoughts, I understand completely now. He is a substitute for your grandfather.

I snuggle into Ani’s shoulder, glad that he understood why I couldn’t stand by and let my friend die. The Sith Lord’s mind is busy, weighing something, so I stay quiet and wait.

You may visit Commander Tosack while he recovers if Melina or Thirsk are with you, he decides. I will allow you to have him as a friend, but you must be careful not to show any overt favoritism. It could be dangerous for him if others on the crew think he is being singled out for special treatment.

I know how hard it is for Ani to share me with anyone. To be allowed a friend is a tremendous gift from him. I promise myself that I will be very careful not to abuse it.

Thank you, I reply, meaning it with all my heart.

The familiar corridor walls show we have entered the area around our quarters. It isn’t much farther now and I am starving. As we enter our bedroom my stomach lets out a growl.

‘Hungry?’ he teases as he sets me down in my chair.

‘Starved,’ I admit.

‘Healing injuries of that magnitude takes a huge amount of energy,’ he lectures from the kitchen as he sets the autochef, ‘you will need to eat more than usual for the next few days to compensate for it.’

I hear the cooling unit open and close again and the various things needed for dinner being gathered up. A few minutes later he has filled the table in front of me with both our meals. As I eat, Ani silently watches me. From the fleeting expressions running across his face, he’s worrying about something again. Am I in for a sound scolding?

Finally he reaches across the table and grabs my hand.

‘One of the most frightening moments of my life was when I realized the ship was going to be hit and knew there was nothing I could do to protect you from what might happen,’ Ani admits. ‘It was almost as bad as when I felt you fall from my castle and could do nothing to help you.’

He releases my hand, gets up and starts to pace the floor. Eventually he stops beside me, tips my face up and looks down at me.

‘I understand now why the Emperor wanted me to send you back to Imperial Center,’ he quietly states. ‘Perhaps I should have just done as he wished.’

He was told to do that? This is news to me.

Ani lets his hand fall and turns away from me again. I can sense that he is quite upset with himself. Time to reassure him a bit, so I get up and slide my arms around his waist from behind. His hands move to rest over mine, his fingers entwined in my own.

‘How can I be effective as a commander if I am constantly worrying about how my actions will affect you?’ he asks.

I rest my head against his back and start thinking fast. This is not good. Not good at all. His confidence has been badly shaken and the Rebel fleet is the last thing he needs to be dealing with at the moment. A gentle brush against our bond and I find a dangerous mix of emotions is stewing away in him. Fury at the Rebels who damaged his ship. Guilt at my being hurt. Self-doubt. Anger at himself for his inability to protect me. Frustration.

I am not equipped to deal with a Sith Lord having a crisis. Nothing in my background has prepared me for the role of counselor that he needs me to fill right now. All I can do is love him and be supportive, so I let him feel that from me.

‘It’s alright,’ I reassure him. ‘I understand.’

‘Do you really?’ is his doubting response.

Damn. The simple approach didn’t work. Now what?

I consider carefully what to do next, then tell him, ‘Sometimes you will have to make decisions that could harm me. Or our son. Or other innocent bystanders. Anyone in a position of power runs that risk. It goes with the job. You must never let that interfere with what you must do, Anakin. Never. The price if you chose to do otherwise could be even higher.’

He’s thinking about that. Maybe I should give him something else to ponder while I am at it.

‘Years ago, one of my world’s great military leaders was forced to make a choice. He knew when and where a major attack against civilians was going to occur, but if he warned those who would be hit, the enemy would learn their code was broken and change their encryption techniques. He also was in the middle of planning an important offensive, one that might help end the war. If he sent out a warning to the civilians, and enemy codes were changed, he would not know what the enemy’s plans were and thousands of soldiers could die. What would you have done, Ani, if you were in his position?’

Silence. I free my hands and slide myself around to his front. The Sith Lord has an unreadable expression on his face while he worries away at the puzzle I just gave him. I stand on my toes and lightly kiss him.

‘You should go meditate for a while,’ I suggest. ‘Having some private time to clear your mind will help.’

He pulls me in close, kisses the top of my head and replaces his helmet without a word. After he is gone, I sink onto the bed and try to relax a bit. Ani has calmed himself again from the more settled emotions I feel from him. Good. I can go to bed now.

A few minutes after I have snuggled up to his pillow under the blankets, I feel a light tickle in the back of my mind.

Ani?

You’re still awake, he notes.

Obviously, I tease.

What was the answer? he asks.

Answer? I question, puzzled.

What did he do? Ani wonders.

Oh. I know what he wants to find out.

He let the attack on the civilians take place without warning them. Hundreds were killed. The offensive was successful and the Allies eventually won the war, but he paid a terrible price for it. I pause a moment, remembering the old news footage I had seen, then finish, You could see it in his face when he walked through the bombed city of Coventry. That choice haunted Churchill for the rest of his life. He never really recovered from it.

The Sith Lord is thinking about what I just told him.

I would have done the same and fortunately have never faced a similar situation, he admits. But why did you ask me to consider it?

It’s not the answer that’s important, I tell him, but the thought that leads up to it. You needed to work through things and it seemed to be the right puzzle to help you do that.

And your own choice would have been? he tries to get my own solution.

I really don’t know, my love. Perhaps I know too much about what might have happened if Churchill had chosen otherwise to make an objective decision, I confess.

Another story you will have to tell me sometime, the Sith Lord suggests, but I want you to sleep now. Tomorrow, I will...

He breaks off that thought and I hear two men, the Admiral and someone else, arguing loudly about whether or not to disturb Ani with their news. This is not going to go over very well with the Sith Lord. Not when he is in the mood that he is. And definitely not after the Admiral barged into my room down in Medlab. A careful listen reveals that Ani has tripped the controls for the door to our private chambers. It slides shut, cutting off the racket, and I feel a gentle touch on my mind.

Don’t worry about this, little goddess, he tells me, I will deal with these two fools.

DAY 27

Two arms slide around me and I feel Ani’s kiss on my neck. He’s come to bed at last.

‘I can’t stay long, Maia,’ he admits. ‘I know where the Rebels will try to escape the blockade now and the Executor will be dropping out of hyperspace in a few hours to ambush them.’

I try to pull him nearer and he responds by drawing me closer to his chest. Any time he spends with me is precious, even if it is just so he can catch some desperately needed sleep. His mind finally grows quiet and still, so I know he has let himself relax at last and drift off.

I lie beside him, completely awake, with my mind busy. Ani intends to destroy the Rebel fleet and he will have to drug me again. There is no way I can handle feeling the deaths of so many all at once. Rats. I hate being knocked out, but the pain and terror I will feel through the Force will be much, much worse.

Moving carefully so I don’t wake him, I turn over and peer into my sleeping love’s face. He is always so very innocent looking when he sleeps. There is no trace of darkness or anything negative in his serene, relaxed expression. How I wish he were like this all the time. If only he could free himself from the bonds the Emperor and the dark side have imposed on him.

It’s his choice to stay as he is, I hear my brother whisper into my mind. He could free himself if he truly wanted to, but he has never been able to resist the seductive call of power. The more he has, the more he wants, trapping himself in an unending, destructive cycle. And deep within, he is still far too afraid to move past the temptations the dark side offers.

Michael? I ask.

We need to talk, Maia. Anakin’s exhausted and won’t wake if you get up, he assures me.

I very carefully lift Ani’s arm from my waist and slowly ease myself from the bed. There is no sign my movements have disturbed him. My brother materializes slightly, his form a bare outline against the dimness of the room. He heads into the ‘fresher, so I follow him, closing the door after us and taking a seat on the edge of the bath while Michael opts to sit near me on the toilet.

You handled Anakin very well yesterday, my brother praises. Forcing him to think about how his actions could affect others was the right thing to do. He hasn’t had to or wanted to seriously consider that for a great many years.

Thank you, I think, I reply. So what are you up to and where are you going with this?

Baby steps, sister dear, baby steps, he teases, then gets more serious. If you want to help the Anakin you love so much to free himself, it will take a great deal of time and much patience. Three steps forward and two back. He will fight and resist you every step of the way, too. So you will need to go very slowly, lead him along, force him to think about things he would rather ignore or forget. It won’t be easy for him and will be even harder for you to stay at his side and watch while he struggles and fails. But eventually, inevitably he will reach a point where he has to make a choice again, like he did many years ago. That is when he will need you the most.

I stare at him.

Weren’t you going to stay out of things and not interfere?

Michael hesitates and looks a bit sheepish.

I told the council to go to hell, he admits. No one orders me to abandon my little sister. They were not pleased at all, but at least a few others agreed with me. It didn’t matter though. The Jedi have effectively disowned me. I won’t get any more help or training from them, so I hope you won’t mind if I spend my time hanging around with you instead.

Michael, I prod, exactly what happened to you? How did you end up as a Jedi ghost?

For the next few hours he tells me an almost unbelievable story and there are many times I can only shake my head at what he says. Finally he falls silent, waiting for my comments, no doubt.

So you are tied to me specifically because of our life-bond? I ask him and get an affirming nod in response. And they can’t do anything about that - force you to leave that is?

Another nod, and an explanation, It’s different than when a Jedi voluntarily opts to stay around. As long as we are bonded, I can exist in this way and there is nothing anyone can do to affect that.

I start giggling. This is just too funny.

‘What’s funny?’ I hear Ani’s sleepy voice ask as the ‘fresher door opens.

Michael promptly vanishes, warning me to hide what I had learned tonight from Ani as he goes.

‘My brother,’ I admit. ‘I just discovered we are permanently stuck with a nagging Jedi ghost.’

‘I am not a nag,’ Michael’s voice scolds from somewhere.

That makes me laugh even louder.

‘Go away, pest,’ Ani growls, grabbing my hand and leading me back to bed. ‘I want to spend some time with my wife and I don’t want an audience, dead or otherwise.’

I feel my brother’s presence disappear. Maybe he has found somewhere else to go for a while. Any further thoughts on that topic vanish when Ani sets his expert lips against mine and proceeds to remind me exactly why I want him so much.

That was quick, I think, as the Sith Lord leaves my side a few minutes later.

‘It’s too bad you can’t stay a bit longer,’ I grumble, ‘but I guess you don’t have time for anything more.’

‘No, I don’t,’ he calls from the ‘fresher, ‘and I haven’t left myself much time to get to the bridge either.’

The shower starts, and I instantly hear a loud, vehement curse. He forgot that he turned the water temperature down. I smile to myself and use a pillow to muffle my snickers. What’s good for the goose!

By the time Ani is finished his morning routine, I have got out of bed, poured out his breakfast and set his armor where I can grab it and help him dress quickly. Soon he is done with his meal, and left with only his helmet to put on, so I hand the vocoder to him. He glances at it, takes it from me, then sets it on the table, and pulls me into his arms for a kiss. After I am released, he goes to the same compartment he pulled my new bracelets from and takes a covered glass out of it.

‘When I tell you to, but not a minute before, you will drink this,’ he orders, setting the glass in my hand. Addressing the air, he adds, ‘Your brother had better be here to look after you, too.’

‘I hope it tastes better than that other vile stuff you made me drink,’ I tell him, turning the glass so I can look at the dark colored fluid within.

‘No,’ he teases as he finishes armoring up, ‘It’s the same stuff, only stronger.’

I make a face at that.

‘Ugh,’ I complain. ‘This is going to be rather unpleasant.’

‘If you drink it fast, it won’t be as bad as you think,’ he reassures me. ‘Just make sure you are in bed, first. The effect will be almost instantaneous.’

His gloved fingers brush down my face. Ani has to go now. I watch him as he leaves, seeing him pause at the entrance to the den, to give a quick glance back at me before he is gone from my sight.

I love you, you cranky Sith Lord, I tell him. Be careful and keep yourself safe today.

There is no response in words, just a wave of mixed emotions, the strongest one being a deep, abiding love for me.

‘Does he know how important it is for me to feel that from him?’ I muse aloud.

‘Of course he does,’ my brother pipes in. ‘He loves you. It’s his one redeeming feature.’

‘You,’ I growl at him. ‘You had better not be spying on us.’

I spin about and see that Michael has taken the seat Ani had been using a few minutes earlier.

‘Give me some credit, Maia,’ he scolds. ‘Besides, the prospect of dealing with your enraged husband is not at all appealing.’

Ignoring him for a moment, I set the glass Ani gave me on the table and go into the kitchen to retrieve my breakfast. Drinking that nasty stuff on an empty stomach is probably a bad idea. When I come back, I can see that Michael has stuck his hand through the center of the Sith Lord’s concoction.

‘Don’t do that,’ I tell him. ‘That just creeps me out.’

He yanks his hand back and gives me one of his bratty grins.

‘Sorry,’ he apologizes. ‘I keep forgetting that I can do things like that and you can’t.’

‘What were you trying to do anyway?’ I ask, curious, as I dig into the cereal I had selected.

‘See what he put in it,’ my brother admits.

‘And?’ I prompt, even more nosy now.

‘It’s a rather nasty mix. No wonder he wants me to watch over you,’ he gives a slightly evasive answer.

‘Michael,’ I growl. I won’t put up with being kept in the dark about this if I can help it.

‘He’s used analogs of saponin, thalictrine, cucutoxin, and zigadenine. The bitterness is from glycosides similar to those found in dogsbane,’ he clinically rattles off.

I glare at him. Michael finished a Master’s in biochemistry, specializing in toxic materials in plants, before going into medical school. He is intentionally being obtuse about this even though he knows exactly what each of those compounds is. There is only one thing in that list I recognize and I don’t like the sounds of the others at all.

‘Alright, doctor, I know the cucutoxin is from hemlock, so what is the rest of it?’ I prod him.

The Executor is in position, Maia. You have a minute or two to take that drink I gave you, the Sith Lord tells me.

Rats. I will have to bug Michael later about what Ani put in that stuff. Letting out a disgusted sound or two, I return my breakfast tray to the kitchen, grab the glass off the table, and settle myself under the covers on the bed. With a tug, I pull the lid off and stare at the black liquid. I really don’t want to drink it, but my only other option is to spend the duration of the battle curled up in a ball having hysterics. And the Sith Lord doesn’t need to be getting a dose of that from me when he has to be clear minded and completely in control of things up on the command deck.

I look over at my brother who has seated himself beside me on the bed.

‘Cheers,’ I cheekily tell him before I down the glass’ contents as quickly as I can.

There is just enough time to shove the empty glass onto the shelf above the bed. Then the room seems to fade in and out of focus. Weird. I blink at my brother. At least I haven’t immediately blacked out this time. When I try to think something at him, there is no response. Reaching for the Force produces a blank; nothing seems to exist farther than a few feet from me. So that’s how Ani plans to keep me from reacting. He’s figured out a way to cut me off from the Force temporarily.

‘You should try to rest,’ Michael suggests.

I have no reason to protest so I pull Ani’s pillow in close and shut my eyes.

A sudden wrench in the Force startles me into sitting bolt upright in the bed. When I start to sway a bit, my brother quickly shoves me back down against the pillows. What was that? It was strong enough that even Ani’s concoction didn’t entirely block it out. I stare up at Michael who is looking pretty worried. He tips his head, listening, then nods at whatever he just heard.

‘Anakin told me what just happened,’ he reveals. ‘Admiral Griff tried to make a short jump through hyperspace and plowed three Star Destroyers into the Executor’s shields. They were completely vaporized. The rebels, of course, managed to escape while the Executor was being repositioned.’

Curling up on my side, I consider what I just learned. Three ships. At least fifteen thousand men. Gone. All because of one man’s ambition and stupidity. Only Griff would have been reckless enough to attempt a jump like that. I let a few tears escape. Not for myself but for those who were needlessly killed because of him, and their families.

‘Sleep, little sister,’ I hear Michael soothe. ‘There’s nothing that can be done about it.’

I don’t resist the sedative effects of the drugs in my system any longer. Sleep will be a welcome relief.

Hours later I open my eyes again. Michael is gone and Ani, still in his armor, is sitting beside me on the bed with his back resting against the wall. A stack of reports is piled next to him and he is busy with a datapad at the moment. I stay quietly where I am, not wanting to disturb him or think about what happened earlier. The Sith Lord knows I am awake though, and his hand occasionally reaches over to brush fingers down my face or through my hair.

Finally he tosses the reports on the floor and drops the datapad on top of them. He looks at me and opens up his arms, beckoning me into them. The minute I am secure in his embrace, the tears start to flow again. Ani says not a word, just holds me close and lets me work through my feelings on my own.

‘Better?’ the Sith Lord asks once I have grown quiet again.

I nod my head against his chest.

‘Good. I want you to eat something now, even though I know you probably don’t feel up to it,’ he tells me.

A glance over at the table shows that he had made lunch for me and left it there, waiting for when I woke up. When I try to get up, he keeps me next to him and calls the tray over with his hand. Lunch in bed. Alright, this is fine with me. I lift the lids off the various dishes and do my best to nibble on a bit of everything despite my lack of appetite. Ani sends the tray back to the table once I am done, so I lean against him for support.

‘I have ordered General Brashen to secure Yavin,’ Ani reveals. ‘The Executor will not arrive before any remaining rebels have the chance to flee. Hopefully he will capture someone who knows where they plan to locate their new base.’

‘What about their fleet?’ I ask, wondering if he will tell me anything about what happened today.

‘Long gone. I have pulled every available Destroyer from the blockade and sent them along the possible routes the rebels might have used,’ he admits. ‘A useless exercise, but necessary for appearances. They often meet at a rendezvous point and make a series of jumps before reaching their final destination. It will be impossible to trace them.’

Our son stirs within me so I let him move about for a while without bothering to soothe him. Feeling him like this always amazes me and at the moment I find it eases my mind. Ani slides a hand down to my stomach, leaving it there so that he too can experience our busy child’s kicks against my side.

‘Restless, isn’t he,’ the Sith Lord observes.

‘He always is after a meal. I think the sugar wakes him up,’ I reply.

‘Shall I quiet him for you?’ he offers.

‘In a few minutes,’ I decide. ‘Let him have a bit of fun first.’

Ani’s hand strokes across my middle, soothing me as much as my child. A brush against our bond tells me he is in a rather reflective mood, so I settle in close to him, knowing that he will humor me and let me stay in his arms for a while. His touch is so very gentle as he continues to quiet our son, yet I know I will be the only one he ever allows to see this side of his personality.

‘You should rest,’ he suggests at last. ‘Your arm needs to heal and your system recover from the drugs I gave you earlier.’

His words barely register since his caresses have just about put me to sleep already.

‘I see I am speaking to sleeping beauty,’ he teases in a whisper.

Two hands gently shift me about, ensuring I am comfortably settled in. The Sith Lord doesn’t leave my side before I am soundly, deeply asleep.

The Executor, Naboo, Naboo system. Year 0, Month 8.

DAY 20

I turn myself over and look at Ani. He’s still asleep and my restless tossing about has pulled the sheets off his chest. With a careful tug, I pull them up again, noting that his most recent wounds, the one across his ribs where his armor was slashed through and the blaster burn on his left shoulder, have almost healed at last.

Stop fussing, he scolds.

His blue eyes are open, watching me, but he doesn’t appear to be irked or annoyed.

‘You should be sleeping,’ he tells me next.

‘Now who is the one making a fuss?’ I tease him back.

‘Hungry again?’ he asks, though I am sure he knows the answer.

I move in a little closer and kiss him.

‘Go back to sleep, love,’ I whisper in his ear.

The Sith Lord looks a bit amused at my suggestion, but doesn’t object when I sit up beside him. Reaching behind me on the shelf produces a small bowl of veggies to munch on and a glass of water. In the last few days I have become adept at eating in bed without spilling anything or dropping any crumbs.

‘If you keep eating at this rate,’ Ani teases me some more, ‘I will have to do something about it.’

‘It’s not my fault that your son has decided to go on a growth spurt,’ I admit. ‘If I don’t eat now, I will be miserable in the morning. Just be glad it shouldn’t go on for much longer.’

I crunch away on what tastes like a carrot, but no vegetable from Earth was ever this bright neon green in color. Before starting on the next bit, I look down at Ani, and decide to bug him for a few minutes.

‘Ani?’ I ask.

He lets out an unidentifiable noise. I guess he took my advice and went back to sleep. Rats. I want some company and it seems that I won’t have any. With an annoyed sigh, I finish eating, return the bowl to its place and sip on the glass of water. There’s no point in trying to get Michael to show up either. The Emperor is on the planet below, too close for my brother’s comfort. He plans on staying well away until the Sith Lord has finished his business here and put some distance between me and his master.

Well, I will just amuse myself for a while. I start counting days. Twenty-one Earth weeks. Just over halfway. And I am showing to the point where none of my dresses can conceal my condition any longer. I carefully rub my stomach. It’s big enough that it is becoming hard to find a comfortable position to sleep in. Poor Ani has not said one word in complaint, but I know I have kicked him a number of times and swatted him with my arms when I try to turn over. One morning he had retreated to the opposite edge of the bed in an attempt to get away, only to have me follow him over there, insisting on curling up to him. Maybe I need a separate bed so he can get some undisturbed sleep.

‘No, I won’t sleep apart from you,’ he instantly replies to that thought.

‘You’re awake,’ I note.

‘There’s no point in my falling asleep until you do. That way I won’t get attacked by flying feet and hands again,’ he teases.

‘I don’t mean to,..’ I start apologizing.

‘I know that, little goddess,’ he breaks in, taking the empty glass from my hand and returning it to the shelf. ‘It’s hard for you to settle in when our son is busy and you can’t find the position you need to be in. Now come here, and let me hold you for a while.’

I hunker down under the blankets and snuggle up to him. It’s getting difficult for him to hold me close, and other things are becoming more like gymnastics than I would like. Last night was quite funny as Ani tried his best to keep his weight off of me.

‘It wouldn’t be as awkward as that if you would simply let me use another position,’ he scolds a bit.

‘Alright,’ I egg him on, ‘go right ahead and do so.’

‘Now?’ is his unbelieving response to that offer.

‘Why not now?’ I shoot back. ‘It’s far too early for anyone to suspect you are awake so there shouldn’t be any comm calls to disturb us.’

That’s all the encouragement required.

An hour later both of us are satisfied and much too lazy to get out of bed.

‘I should have found and married you years ago,’ Ani’s sleepy voice tells me.

I run a finger down his nose, then brattily ruffle his hair. It needs trimming again. For a few minutes, I just rest my chin on his chest and stare happily into his eyes.

‘We should try to sleep a bit longer,’ the Sith Lord decides. ‘I have much to do today.’

That prompts a sigh from me. He has to meet with the Emperor later in the day and I will be stuck on the ship. By myself. Again. And with no Michael to keep me amused.

‘Why don’t you help Melina go through all of your accumulated correspondence this morning?’ he suggests.

I make an exasperated noise. Now there’s a boring task. Invitations to turn down, people to send two sentence notes to telling them to shove off, charities to deal with. Melina keeps anything upsetting from reaching my eyes, but I know that what I see is only a small fraction of what comes in each week. Ani almost never bothers with anything he is sent. He has several aides back on Imperial Center who screen and sort through all of it. Only when something unusual arrives does it make its way across the Sith Lord’s desk.

‘I don’t know why you insist on seeing your mail when you obviously don’t want to handle any of it,’ he wryly notes.

‘Curiosity,’ I admit.

‘Perhaps you need something else to occupy your time then,’ he hints. ‘There’s all of those documents which arrived yesterday.’

‘No, not more economic and production reports to analyze,’ I moan. ‘That’s even more boring than reading through my mail.’

‘Well, then, what would you like to do?’ he asks.

I smile to myself and let my fingers trail down his chest, across his stomach, intending to ...

‘No,’ he firmly refuses, stopping my hand’s descent with his own. ‘We’ve done enough of that today already.’

Rats.

‘How about spending some time in the salle?’ I suggest.

He’s considering that.

‘I’ve finished the training ‘sabers. Maybe you would like to try them out before I go,’ he finally offers.

My ears perk up. Cool.

‘We can try dueling again!’ I happily decide. Ani hasn’t let me do that for weeks.

‘No more free-form duels, Maia,’ he warns. ‘You are far too clumsy for that now.’

He hasn’t forgotten the last time we dueled and I lost my balance.

‘But ...,’ I start to protest.

‘NO!’ he adamantly insists, ‘and don’t ask again. We will work on first form drills and velocity sequences instead.’

‘Not more of those,’ I start complaining. ‘After almost two months of nothing but the same stuff I am starting to get quite bored.’

‘Bored or not. You will repeat them until I am satisfied with your progress,’ he crankily states. ‘Now go to sleep before I change my mind.’

I shift off his chest, turn over and do my best to settle in. Ani’s just as strict in the salle as my grandfather ever was. If I continue to argue or question his decisions about my training or dueling with him, he will just make me do more solo drills until I shut up about it. Maybe the Sith Lord’s worse than grandfather. I compare the two for a few minutes. No, I finally decide, grandfather was far harder on me. Ani always stops when he senses I have had enough. Grandfather would push me to the point of collapse before backing off.

‘You’re a better teacher than grandfather ever was,’ I admit to him.

‘Only a fool would try training you the way he did,’ Ani quietly observes. ‘You are far too delicate for that sort of brutal treatment. What remains of your clumsiness is related more to his insensitivity than any fault of yours.’

‘It’s how he was taught,’ I respond.

‘And did he treat others the same way?’ he asks.

After a moment’s consideration, I shake my head.

‘I thought not,’ the Sith Lord states. ‘He expected your abilities to be the same as your brother’s. When you didn’t measure up, he just tried harder to force you into that mold, and that is completely unreasonable.’

‘You’ve been talking to Michael again,’ I wryly note.

‘Yes,’ he admits, then orders, ‘now go to sleep.’

I feel a kiss on the back of my neck and his hands help to move me into one of the few comfortable positions I have found for sleeping in. A few caresses to my middle and Ani has quieted our son so I shut my eyes and do my best to fall asleep.

After a while, I give up since I am far too alert now. My love is dead to the world, though, and I don’t want to wake him up. With a sigh, I resign myself to lying in bed, thinking, until I do drop off again.

The last month has been strange to say the least. A brother I thought to never see again has become a regular fixture in my life. Michael’s visits have made living with Ani’s increasingly restrictive orders bearable. Maia, you should be thankful, I remind myself. You have a husband who loves you and is willing to put up with a Jedi ghost as a brother-in-law. Those two have started to act more and more like friends, too, even though neither of them will admit it. Men can be so incredibly stubborn sometimes.

My mind wanders off to think of my rather obstinate friend. Commander Tosack has driven them nuts down in Medical, refusing to stay in bed and behave himself. His entire focus has been on getting back to work and blueprints keep appearing in his room despite Trever’s attempts to keep them out. Maybe I should go visit Tosack again. We are still in the middle of a holochess game. A smile sneaks across my face. I know very well that a large sum of credits has been wagered on the outcome. Every move either one of us makes is quickly relayed throughout the ship and hotly debated. I also know Ani has been following our game’s progress though he pretends to have no interest in it.

The Sith Lord’s even breaths feel warm against my ear, reminding me of how close we have become in the last few weeks. His tendency to shove me aside whenever he feels a bit insecure is gone now, and he is quite careful to spend what time he can with me. He has even started to confide in me a little, but I realize he is still trying to protect me by holding back most of what he knows and is busy with.

I let myself brood a bit. Ani has found no clues that might help him locate the Rebels’ new base, and he is becoming frustrated enough to start taking personal risks just to track them. The assassination attempt he fought his way out of happened during a trip to visit one of his information sources a week ago. Maybe I can assist in some way. No matter how careful the rebels are, there will be patterns in their movements which might give away where they have relocated to. I will offer to help in the morning. My mind more settled, I pull my love’s arm tight around me and go to sleep.

When I wake, Ani is gone, working in his office, no doubt. Rats. No bath for me today. Grumbling to myself, I manage to get out of bed without too much difficulty and make my way to the ‘fresher. An hour later, I am busy debating what to do. There has been no sign of the Sith Lord so he must be somewhere else on the ship. So much for practicing in the salle with him. Fine, I’ll comm Melina and go through my mail like he first suggested.

I am settled in the den and properly covered when my aide shows up. She sets a stack of flimsies on the table so I give them an irritated glare. I hate those plastic printouts and always end up with cuts on my fingers from their sharp edges. For once I get an apologetic look from her.

‘No paper available today, my lady,’ Melina apologizes, again, using her usual excuse.

I don’t answer, just pick up the top one and start reading. By the time I am halfway through the pile, I am thoroughly bored. With a sigh I toss another party invitation on the growing heap of things to have Melina send the standard refusal to.

‘Don’t these people have anything better to do with their time than bother me?’ I snap.

‘It would be considered quite a social coup to have you attend...’ my aide starts, but stops when I give her one of Ani’s looks.

‘What’s the point of asking? His Lordship would never allow it,’ I flatly state. ‘He never lets me go anywhere. Or do anything.’

I am starting to whine so I shut up and pick up the next flimsy in the stack. A request from a charity for aid. These are much harder for me to deal with. So many people in need and so little I can do to help them. I read the letter through a second time, then set it to the side to look at again, later.

When I am finally through the stack, I return to the few things I had set aside to reconsider.

‘Check on these to see if they are legitimate,’ I tell Melina, handing her the four letters I had selected, ‘and get back to me right away with what you find out. I suspect that two of them are frauds, but the others I am not sure about.’

She doesn’t blink, just checks something on her datapad, and tosses the two documents I was suspicious of onto the refusal pile.

‘I thought those would catch your attention, so I already checked,’ she admits. ‘Here’s what I found out about them when I investigated.’

Melina is getting to know me all too well. Another stack of flimsies appears on the table. More to go through? With a sigh I start reading once again. By the time I have finished the summary section, I know what I want to do.

‘I will fund this, but anonymously. See that everything is done properly,’ I order, handing her back the charity’s request.

‘But my lady,...’ my aide starts to protest, obviously upset by my decision.

I raise an eyebrow. Melina is going to argue with me?

‘Is there a problem, Lieutenant?’ I coldly ask.

It is not her place to question, only to obey.

‘They’re not human,’ she finally spits out, and the venom in her voice takes me aback. ‘Why waste valuable credits on something no one else would bother to support?’

I stare at her, completely shocked. This is not the Melina I am used to. She has never shown any indication she held this sort of opinion, and while I have always known that an anti-alien bias existed in the Empire, this is the first time I have had it shoved in my face.

‘Would you see children suffer needlessly? For no good reason? When I can do something to help?’ I prod her, watching carefully for her reaction.

The disgust on her face is all the answer I need. So, my aide is at heart a true daughter of the Empire. They have done their work well with her. I have never had any tolerance for this sort of prejudice. Not at home, and definitely not here.

‘They’re aliens. Not human. Not worth the effort. Why waste time, credits and energy on them?’ she tells me, making no attempt to hide her loathing.

That does it.

‘Get out,’ I snap at her, letting my temper rear its head. ‘Get out. Now. Before I do something I might regret.’

The tone in my voice makes her go absolutely white. Good. She has clued in that her comments have crossed the line with me.

When she still remains seated, I get up and snarl, ‘Didn’t you hear me Lieutenant? Get out. And don’t come back.’

She moves too slow for my taste so I storm after her, heaping curses on her head in every language I know to hasten her progress. When she bolts through the door, my anger at her is sated, but I am still disgusted by the attitude her words represent. I stand there for quite a long time, venting my frustration by swearing, but this time in Sith.

‘That happens to be physically impossible,’ a quiet, amused voice states as the door opens.

Ani. Melina must have commed him. I am probably in for it now.

‘You are nasty when you lose your temper,’ Ani calmly notes, stepping inside and letting the door close after himself. ‘Lieutenant Panib was in tears when she commed me.’

That instantly deflates my remaining fury. What am I doing? Jedi don’t through tantrums and chase people like that, no matter how much they are provoked.

‘I want her replaced, my Lord,’ I flatly state. ‘Immediately. Today even. I won’t have my decisions questioned.’

‘There’s more to it than that, isn’t there?’ he astutely observes.

I stay silent as he escorts me back into our private quarters.

‘Well? I want an answer from you, or shall I go ask the Lieutenant what set you off?’ he continues to dig.

I refuse to answer. He is probably just like her and won’t understand, so why bother. And Melina. She’ll quite happily give him all the details no doubt. Well, let her go right ahead and do so. I don’t care.

Ani’s helmet swivels as he looks down at me. I can tell he’s deciding what to do.

‘Consider yourself confined to our private quarters,’ he finally orders. ‘When I come back you will explain to me why you will not put on another display like that again. And Melina stays. You will apologize to her and be more civilized in the future when you disagree with her.’

Ani leaves me in the den, shuts the door after himself and locks it. I stand there, fuming at him now instead of my aide. How dare he do this to me. I won’t apologize and I won’t have anything more to do with Melina either.

I retrieve the information on the proposed children’s hospital and the other letter I had set aside, then head into the bedroom to brood. With a tug, I rip off my veil and toss it on the table. My temper has come back again and is demanding some sort of release, so I proceed to shred the hated mothsilk into narrow strips, letting them fall on the floor as I go. Satisfied at last, I prop myself up in bed and start reading.

It’s a good project, I conclude, and a necessary one. So few hospitals address the needs of the non-human community and even fewer the specific problems of their children. How could anyone with a speck of decency ignore this? I will support this, I decide, and I don’t care what anyone thinks.

With a sigh, I drop the flimsies on the floor and look at the other letter. Some class of youngsters has written to me wanting to know what my homeworld is like. I start to smile at that. Cute. And harmless. Melina had checked to make sure it was legitimate. Okay, I will write them back.

I go to one of my compartments to retrieve some paper and my stylus. How should I describe home? After a few pages, I add my sigil and set the stylus on the table.

Home. How I miss it. And my family. And Rick and my other friends. For once I give in to a bout of homesickness. It would be June now. Summer holidays. The hills will be green until the brutal heat of July arrives. Convocation day would be about now, too. The lake should be starting to swarm with tourists and the early local vegetables start to appear at the fruit stands. Strawberries ripen towards the end of the month. How I miss going to pick buckets of those. Neema fruit don’t quite make the grade even though they taste almost the same.

I let the tears escape. I miss home and I want to go back there. I am tired of the Empire, tired of never knowing if Ani will return to me from his excursions in one piece or not, tired of not being able to do and say what I want. I don’t want to be here any longer. I hate the Emperor, hate this ship, hate being stuck where I am.

I want to go home.

With a sob, I give in completely, throw myself on the bed and cry myself to sleep.

***

Another officer to replace. How unfortunate, but repeated incompetence is something I refuse to tolerate. I turn away from the dead Commander lying sprawled across the deck and signal his removal.

Naboo beckons through the transparisteel so I take my place at the head of the bridge and stare out.

What am I going to do with her?

Thanks to Melina’s indiscretion Maia’s childish display has become the talk of the ship. Does she not realize I can’t allow such behavior to go unanswered? Not realize how her actions reflect badly on me? She should be grateful I disciplined her in private, sparing her the public humiliation I could have inflicted on her.

I pause a moment. Perhaps it is for the best. The situation has given me an excuse to confine her to our quarters, where she can’t get into trouble, while I am on Naboo.

I reach out, feel her distress and anguish, but don’t respond. Let her hurt for a while. It will serve to drive the lesson home. I want her to think twice before ever throwing a tantrum like that again.

Piett approaches to inform me that the Lieutenant has been located at last. Did she really think she could hide from me? Time to find out exactly why my wife chased her like a madwoman.

***

Ani’s been here and left while I was sleeping, judging from the empty glass left on the table. He did that on purpose, just to make a point. I stay in bed and warily look around. The stack of flimsies is gone from the floor as is the letter I had written and left on the table. Snooping again are we, Sith Lord? Well, I don’t care. For once I am not giving in one inch to him. He can lock me in here as long as he likes.

DAY 24

Four days, I think as I wake up. It’s been four days since Ani left for the Emperor’s retreat. Four days since we have spoken. Or rather, since I have spoken to him. He made several attempts before he took his shuttle down to Naboo to get me to talk to him. I am not playing that game. I know what he wants, but I won’t give him the satisfaction of hearing it from me. There is no way I am going to apologize. Not to Melina. Not to him. The Sith Lord should just forget about it.

I shift myself up a little bit, prop myself up with the pillows and debate what to do today. A few kicks hit me from within, so I push down the blankets and watch a bump appear and disappear with regularity on my stomach. That’s hilarious. I begin giggling which stops my son’s squirming for a moment. Soon enough he starts up again. Too bad Ani is being so difficult and unreasonable. If he were here, I am sure he would laugh at this, too.

‘My little, active son. Are you going to be this busy once you are born?’ I ask my middle. ‘You will be quite the terror if you are. I can just imagine having to chase after you everywhere.’

I let him move about for quite a while before soothing him into being quiet. Time for me to get up. What to do? Wandering into the kitchen, I spend a few minutes poking about in the cooling unit and cupboards. There are fresh neema fruit in the cooler if I want some, but the thought of food makes me feel ill. With a sigh, I let the door on the cooler snap shut.

A glance at the door controls in the den reveals that I am still locked in and I have no way to get out, either. Ani was smart enough to take my lightsaber away while I slept and couldn’t put up a fight about it.

I can’t even summon someone using the comm. When I tried, I discovered that the only signal that will go out is for Reena. And Ani had thoroughly briefed her on what she was allowed to do, too. The doctor will only talk to me if I need some medical advice and she won’t come to see me unless the situation warrants it.

He has completely isolated me. Punishment for my tantrum. Discipline for chasing after Melina.

I refuse to give in to him this time.

Bored, I head back to the bedroom and drop a memory chip into the comm unit. I know Ani checks on me at about this time so I will do my best to annoy him. He hates some of the modern music in my collection, so I pick a few pieces, start the first one and crank it up loud. Sure enough, a few minutes later, the comm unit activates and promptly shuts off again. I was right then. The Sith Lord definitely doesn’t like heavy metal.

By the end of the day, I have discovered that Ani can’t stand punk or rap music either. Thank you, Jamie, I think at my distant brother, you must have known I would have a use for those cd’s some day.

It’s late in the evening now and I still haven’t eaten much. This is not good, I decide. I have barely touched any food since Ani left. The sight and smell of it just makes me feel queasy. Maybe I should drink some fruit juice. Five minutes later I am in the ‘fresher wishing I had tried water instead.

Tired, fed up, and frustrated, I go to bed and try my best to forget about everything except getting some sleep.

DAY 28

I feel rather fragile and unsteady today, so I am very careful when I get myself out of bed. My hands are shaking quite badly by the time I have managed to get dressed and over to a chair.

Should I try to eat this morning?

I examine the tray I had left on the table last night. Randomly selecting a piece of bread, I proceed to shred it, nibbling on the small pieces with long stretches of time between each one. If I eat too quickly or too much, I will only make myself sick. And the anti-nausea patches have proven to be completely useless for combating whatever is wrong with me.

You could comm Reena, my conscience reminds me, but I ignore it. The first time I did, she told me what Ani’s rules were. When I tried a second time just to have someone to talk to, she cut me off after only a minute. The third time, I was snapped at and after that, I could only leave messages - Reena wouldn’t answer in person at all.

With a sigh, I resign myself to toughing this out on my own.

It takes an hour to eat all I feel is safe, then I return to the bed again. I haven’t tried singing in days and I have little strength to do much other than the absolute minimum. My mind has been busy though whenever I have been awake, so I let it wander a bit.

Thankfully the Emperor is returning to Imperial Center this morning. Maybe Ani will be back as soon as Palpatine is gone. With that thought, I pull his pillow close in and immerse myself in the Sith Lord’s scent. I miss him terribly. Even having him on the ship and ticked off at me is better than being locked up by myself and alone for days on end.

I let myself relax and stretch out with my senses. The black hole in the Force the Emperor makes is like a cancer on the world below. Yanking myself back a bit, I look around for Ani. He’s there, too, but his Force signature is nowhere near as powerful or dark. A careful survey reveals that there are other far weaker Force sensitives nearby as well. I quickly fall out of my meditation. No way am I going to let anyone catch me poking about where I shouldn’t be.

With a gesture I call my photo album to my hand. Flipping through it occupies my time, but also fills me with longings for home. I turn to the last few pages, the ones I put the party pictures in and stare at the one of Ani and I on the dance floor. How simple life seemed to me then. There was just the two of us out at the observatory - no Emperor for him to answer to, none of my colleagues about to get underfoot - only Ani and I.

How I wish he had stayed with me there and never brought us back here.

Homesickness hits me again, so indulge myself and give in to it.

***

I bid my master farewell and watch him finally go into his shuttle. It is a relief to know that he will be gone shortly, but I do not leave the landing area until his ship is a speck in the distance.

Thoughts of my wife fill my mind as I walk back to the stone buildings. Maia’s childish attempts to irritate me stopped rather abruptly two days ago. Reena has heard nothing from her either. Perhaps she is trying other tactics to gain attention now - silence and sulking.

I make my way to the balcony, set my hands on the stone railing and stare across the lake.

If only Melina had been more careful. Using a comm unit in such a public place to call me and then putting on that show of hysterics and tears that she did...

I let my right hand clench into a fist. The Lieutenant did that deliberately. She knew every word we said to one another would be overheard and repeated. But for what gain? A bit of embarrassment for me and much worse for her. Surely she knew I would discipline her for that indiscretion. Why else would she then try to hide? The only person she truly hurt was herself...

 ... and Maia.

How clever and utterly ruthless. Melina has had her petty revenge for Maia’s scolding. Revenge imposed on my wife by me. I will need to transfer the Lieutenant to where her skills at manipulation will better serve the Empire. There is no place for such a creature on my wife’s staff.

With a careful, light touch I reach out to my little wife. She is homesick and heartsick again. I resist letting out a sigh. Every night since I left she has cried herself to sleep, pining for her homeworld and yearning for me. There is nothing I can do about the former - to her, her homeworld must be forever out of reach. As for the latter, my master left me no choice. It is far too dangerous for Maia to be anywhere near him. She had to remain safely confined within my quarters on the Executor.

A few raindrops hit the calm surface of the lake. I watch the ripples spread out from the impacts and dissolve into complicated interference patterns as the rain continues to fall. Master Yoda once compared the ripples produced by a drop of water with the effect of one’s actions; the results can be farther reaching and more unpredictable than one might expect.

My meditations are disturbed by the presence of another Force sensitive nearby. Inquisitor Redge has sought me out. The fool. No doubt he is here to offer still more excuses for why his agent failed to retrieve the holocron. He can wait.

‘My Lord,’ I hear him say, so I dismiss him with a gesture.

He ignores it and steps closer, despite the fear I sense in him.

‘I do not wish to be disturbed, Inquisitor,’ I hiss at him.

‘It’s your Favorite, my Lord,’ he flatly states, his fear becoming audible now. ‘There was an urgent message from the Executor...’

I stay frozen in place, my back to him, and once again reach out to my bondmate. Her mind is quiet, silent. There is no reaction at all to my attempts to contact her, so I force my way inside. She’s unconscious, and ill, very ill, and I have been so preoccupied that I did not notice this until now.

Maia...

‘... she’s been poisoned somehow and is dying,’ I only half-hear him finish. ‘And they need your permission to try to save your son.’

No.

Not again.

I will not lose someone I love again.

I refuse to let this happen.

Somehow I find myself running. Running to my shuttle, then across the docking bay, through the corridors down to Medical.

Reena and Trever see me, step out of my path, wave the others from the room. I stop in the doorway and look at the small figure in the bed, surrounded by monitors and barely breathing. She is as white as the sheets they have covered her with, her cheeks hollow as if she had not eaten for days.

Maia, I call to her.

***

When I hear Ani call my name it is all I can do to open my eyes. He is here at last, standing beside me. And he’s dripping water all over the floor.

‘You look like a drowned rat,’ I tease him in a barely audible whisper.

He hesitates, then replies, ‘And I think you have looked better, yourself, too.’

I shut my eyes again and concentrate on my breathing. Ani’s fingers trace a slow path down my cheek. It must have been raining where he was. The smell of damp leather is quite strong until he moves his hand to rest it on the side rail of the bed.

Maia, my beloved, my little wife, he starts to comfort me. Everything will be alright. I won’t let anything happen to you...

‘My Lord,’ I hear Reena quietly say.

Their footsteps leave the room. Reena will speak with him in private, but I already know what the Sith Lord will be told. They can’t find the source of the metabolic poison, and without knowing exactly what it is and how to treat it, my systems will shut down, one by one, until the inevitable happens. Ani will have little time, perhaps an hour or two, to make his choice: either to wait, continue trying to save me, risking his son in the process, or to have Reena take our child while he is still unharmed, killing me with the surgery I am now far too weak to survive.

At least I can take comfort in knowing my death won’t cause Ani’s. Michael was able to sort that bit out for me. Instead, I will end up like my brother - a Force spirit doomed to wait for my life-bonded’s death. I can live with that, I wryly think. But my poor love will have two Jedi ghosts who will nag at him. And boss him around. The Sith Lord has no clue how to raise a child and will need all the help I can give him.

His regulated breaths are audible to me once again as Ani quickly returns to my side.

‘Send Major Fervis to me, here,’ I hear him order.

A gloved hand lifts and laces the fingers of my left in his own. He says not a word, just stays quietly beside me, waiting for the Intelligence officer to appear.

‘Tell me, Major, what you know so far,’ Ani asks when Fervis comes into the room.

‘Shouldn’t we discuss this elsewhere?’ Fervis suggests.

‘No,’ the Sith Lord snaps. ‘Now, your report?’

‘The toxin is not recorded in any of the archives. If it were, Reena and Trever wouldn’t need an unmetabolized sample to work from,’ the Major reveals. ‘We searched your quarters, removed and tested anything she might have ingested, but found nothing. Nor was there any trace of anything in any clothing or personal items she was in contact with.’

‘The source must be there somewhere, Fervis, and we are running out of time. Go look again and this time, you had better find it,’ Ani threatens.

I try to squeeze his hand a little to get his attention.

He’s doing his best, I tell the Sith Lord. They are all doing their best.

His other hand joins the one already holding mine, covering mine completely. I send him a few reassuring thoughts, but Ani’s mind is racing, far too busy to take any comfort in what I am doing.

Maia, tell me everything you have done since I left. Even if it’s trivial, even if you think it is insignificant, he insists.

I do my best to humor him, knowing that there is nothing I can say which will help much. My mind ticks off the time, though. Soon Ani will need to make his decision and I suspect he is delaying that as long as he can so he doesn’t have to face the reality of the situation.

An hour goes by and I find it increasingly harder to breathe. Reena comes in to check on me and I open my eyes long enough to see her frown at the monitors. She shakes her head, then slips an oxygen mask over my face.

‘That should help a bit, my lady,’ she tells me before leaving Ani and I alone once more.

Major Fervis stops by soon after.

‘We found nothing, my Lord,’ he reports, sounding thoroughly frustrated at his inability to solve the mystery. ‘I even had my men take sample peels from the floor and walls. If the source was there, it is gone now.’

Ani is silent at that. He simply waves the officer from the room.

‘How can something so deadly disappear without a trace?’ the Sith Lord muses out loud. ‘No one entered my quarters after I locked you in. And those rooms were sealed after Reena had you taken from there. The source must still be there, somewhere. Fervis has missed something.’

I sense him rock back and forth, from one foot to the other. He’s pacing in place while his mind works away at this.

‘What about the clothes you were wearing?’ the Sith Lord asks.

Tested already, I tell him.

His fingers loosen their grip on my hand. I feel him carefully check each of my gold arms bands, looking for a foreign substance, I guess. He is touch is gentle as he does this, and I know he is doing his best to avoid disturbing any of the i.v. lines Reena shoved into my veins.

‘Nothing,’ he admits, ‘but the only thing to leave my quarters was you.’

I feel myself drifting off and fight to stay conscious. An alarm sounds. I hear running footsteps and Reena’s voice calling out various commands.

‘You must tell me what you want us to do, my Lord,’ I hear her shout at him. ‘There is no more time to spare.’

My world goes black before I hear his answer.

The Emperor’s Retreat, Naboo, Year 0

THIRD HOLIDAY OF THE YEAR

***

I lean against the stone balustrade and let my senses sweep around me. She’s nearby again, hovering, waiting for me to acknowledge her presence.

Maia, I scold, stop playing games.

A warm breeze catches my cloak and I hear her easy laughter behind me. I smile and shut my eyes. Now that she has been set free, my love is happy and content. Let her continue to play her games. It will do no harm and there is no one left here to disturb us.

The blue millaflowers to my left rustle and stir. I glance towards them, allowing myself to be momentarily distracted, then spin instantly and open my arms to catch my wife as she throws herself towards me.

***

‘You will have to be much faster than that,’ Ani warns me.

Rats. I have not managed a single sneak attack on him despite a morning’s worth of trying. This was the closest I have come yet. Maybe I need a better distraction than just moving a few flowers about with the Force.

‘My stubborn little concubine,’ he teases. ‘Why don’t you just give up? I won’t let you creep up behind me and do what you are planning to, so why do you persist in trying?’

I don’t answer, just snuggle close in and rest my head against his shoulder. Every failed ambush has resulted in ten or so minutes of being held by the Sith Lord. It’s enough of a reward to make repeating my attacks worthwhile. His low rumbling purr sounds above my head as he slowly rocks me in his arms. I let him soothe me, allow my body to relax, and gradually slip into a light doze.

‘Sleepy, little Favorite,’ I hear him tease. ‘Time to put you to bed again.’

His arms shift, and I am lifted and cradled to his chest. Ani’s rooms are nearby, overlooking the lake and the gardens. Only the Emperor’s suite has a better view. A short walk later and I have been laid down on the bed, gently set on my side and covered with his cloak.

You’re indulging me, I tell him as I pull the soft fabric up to my chin.

I want to spoil you today, he admits. You have had so little of that in your life.

Ani settles into the chair beside me and I catch his hand, holding it for a few minutes before I fall asleep.

***

I release her hand once she is soundly asleep and watch the regular rise and fall of her chest. Despite her playfulness, my love is still weak, thin and pale. It will be many weeks before the traces from her brush with death are completely erased.

It was so very, very close. Only a lucky glance from me during the second of her seizures spotted the patch left unnoticed on her back. The patch which nearly killed her. I reach over, slide my cloak down and look at the dark, square scar the poison left on her skin. It will fade with time but always be a permanent reminder.

Replacing her impromptu blanket, I prepare for an hour or so of quiet meditation. Her naps tend to be short and frequent, and although security is the same as at the palace on Coruscant, with Imperial guards at every strategic point, I will not leave her unattended, not for a moment, not even here.

I slide into a meditative trance and look down at my wife and our son. His Force presence shines brightly within her, completely unaffected by his mother’s close call. A parasite Reena had jokingly called him when I spoke with the doctor in private before she allowed me to take Maia from Medical early this morning. My love’s body will starve her to keep our child alive. He stirs at my touch so I quiet him, not wanting his mother to wake. She needs to rest and sleep.

***

I open my eyes and look up at Ani. He’s deep in his meditations so I stay quiet and wait for him to give me some indication he is aware again. While he muses, my eyes wander around the room. A large bouquet of red and blue millaflowers has been left on the table. They smell nice, like the moisturizer I use on my stomach. I think the Emperor must like them, too, since they are growing everywhere in the gardens. Movement draws my attention from the flowers, so I watch the curtains framing the windows billow and swirl with the warm spring wind. The sheer drapery hanging from the bed’s canopy does likewise. Naboo’s rainy season is over and the hot days of summer are on their way.

I like it here. It’s nice and peaceful, and the mountains surrounding the lake remind me of home. Maybe Ani will stay here a few days longer so I can explore a little bit.

Ani reaches over and brushes his fingers down my face.

‘Hello, love,’ I tease him.

‘Lunchtime for you,’ he tells me.

I make a face at that. It is still difficult for me to keep anything down, but I must eat.

‘Let me help you get up,’ Ani offers.

He retrieves his cloak and shifts me about bodily before lifting me up and onto my feet. Ani keeps a careful hold on me, so I act impulsively and wrap my arms around him. I want to be held some more. The Sith Lord pulls me closer, humoring me once again, and I feel his hands sweep his cloak around my back. Good. I can stay as long as I want to.

Safe. I feel completely safe here in his arms. And cherished. Ani haunted my room in Medical this last week, leaving my side only when necessary. So much for keeping his feelings hidden from the crew. Or anyone else.

‘By now it must be apparent to everyone exactly how things are between us,’ I decide.

‘It doesn’t matter any longer,’ he reassures me. ‘Palpatine ordered me to be affectionate to you in public. Besides that, you are my Favorite, the mother of my heir, and if I had ignored or neglected you, it would have raised other questions.’

‘Right,’ I tell him, ‘sure, Sith Lord, try to come up with ways to justify your doting attitude and persistent hovering. There’s no one on the Executor who would ever buy that last excuse now, not after the way you tore through the corridors to get to my side, and definitely not after Reena found you collapsed in the chair next to my bed several nights in a row.’

‘My beloved, stubborn little goddess,’ Ani teases. ‘One day you will push me into doing something in public that I probably shouldn’t.’

I start to smile. There are a few things I can think of which fit into that category.

‘Maybe you should hold me in your arms,’ I suggest. ‘Or how about a proper marriage proposal with you down on one knee?’

Ani starts chuckling at that so I decide it would be best to let my idle fantasies go. He won’t ever do anything outrageous anyway.

I love you, Anakin, I tell him.

You tell me that all the time, even when I have been horrid to you, the Sith Lord notes.

I want to say it to you, I admit, and you need to hear it.

He’s thinking about that, so I set my cheek against his chest and lean on him. I feel a hand touch my hair then move to rest in the center of my back. With a contented sigh, I shut my eyes and wait. His cloak holds in our body heat and the warmth of the cocoon he has created soon lulls me into sleep once again.

‘Still sleepy?’ Ani asks, so I nod my answer to him.

‘You must eat, my Favorite,’ he reminds me.

I don’t argue since I am a little hungrier now than I was when I first woke up. Ani’s arms free me from his embrace, but he keeps one secure around my waist to steady and guide me.

Where are we going? I look about as we walk from Ani’s quarters back out to the balcony. We head to a section of the Retreat I haven’t been in yet, wander along another stone patio before the Sith Lord steers me into a cozy dining room and settles me in a chair.

Not bad, I think as I check out the room. More millaflowers in tasteful vases and the view of the lake through the open double doors is pretty impressive. I take a close look at the rich wood of the table and run my fingers along the edge. No tree from Earth ever grew like that.

‘Jut tree wood,’ Ani identifies. ‘The nuts are toxic, and a favorite food of the peko peko bird.’

‘The big, blue bird we saw this morning?’ I ask.

‘Yes,’ he answers, pulling the chair across from me away from the table and sitting down.

‘It looked a bit like a great blue heron from home,’ I decide, ‘but herons eat fish and frogs, not nuts.’

‘Frogs?’

He doesn’t know what a frog is? I stare at him while I figure out how to describe one.

‘Small amphibians,’ I identify, then use my hands to show their size, ‘about so big. They live in water for part of their life cycle. My brothers and I used to go down to the pond at gran’s house and catch them when we were kids. It was fun seeing which one would croak the loudest or could jump the farthest...’ I stop dead at his first chuckle.

The Sith Lord keeps laughing and there is a smile behind the mask, I just know it.

‘You are a brat,’ I growl at him, sure that I have been lead on once again. Of course he knows what a frog is.

Ani only laughs louder. He’s in an exceptionally good mood today. I stretch my hand across the table and he holds it is his own, only releasing it when my lunch arrives about a minute later. Two servers dressed in blue set the trays on the table, bow and back out of the room. I give Ani a questioning look and reach for one of them. The Sith Lord shakes his head so I pull my hand back, move it to my lap, and wait. Another man appears carrying a pitcher and glasses, and proceeds to set out my meal. Once he has left, I lift the cover on the silver bowl, dropping it in surprise at the heat I feel on my fingertips.

‘The kitchens are nearby so your soup will be hot,’ he warns me as I blow on my slightly toasted fingers.

Wary now, I pick up the largest of the spoons and give my lunch a stir. Steam rises as I move things about. Maybe letting it cool a bit would be a smart idea. It does smell delicious so I take a cautious taste. This is better than good, I decide. I quickly dig in, not bothering to wait until it has cooled. Ani watches me eat, no doubt entertained by my antics whenever I bite into something that is still a touch too hot.

When the bowl is finally empty and I have set the spoon aside, Ani offers, ‘I could have some more nuna soup brought for you, if you like.’

After considering that for a moment, I shake my head. Dessert is waiting and I want to see what it is. I eye the other silver dish. Whatever is under the cover must be cold judging from the condensation and rills of water which have run down from the top. My curiosity gets the better of me at last so I lift the lid. Iced neema fruit. Ani knows these are one of my favorite things.

‘Fresh from the Emperor’s own garden,’ he admits.

‘Thank you,’ I tell him before I start in on them.

I eat slowly, savoring every bite. My stomach has been quiet for the first time at a meal in weeks, so I intend to enjoy myself. The last neema fruit looks lonely by itself in the dish. I take my time cornering it with the spoon. As I lift it up, it rolls off. Rats. A second try is no more successful than the first. Annoyed now, I chase it around the bowl. Stop that, I think at it. When I almost have it in position, it moves sideways, and I know exactly what has been going on.

‘You,’ I growl at Ani, ‘had better stop that.’

There is a flash of amusement from him. I make another try for the neema fruit, only to have it jump out of my spoon again. Irked, I grab at it with the Force and give a tug. It refuses to move. Instead, it hovers in front of me. Alright then, Ani, you can keep it. I won’t play along any longer.

He holds in it place a moment, then moves it to right under my nose. I watch it, wary of what he might try next. When the servers reappear to clear off the table, the neema fruit drops back into the bowl. With a grin of triumph, I quickly scoop it up and finish it off before Ani has another chance to play any more tricks on me.

‘Time to go for a walk,’ the Sith Lord decides as he helps me from my chair and escorts me from the dining room.

‘Where?’ I ask, curious as to what he is up to now.

‘By the lake, down to the summer house the Emperor’s concubines like to laze about in,’ he tells me.

‘I would like a bucket, please,’ I politely request.

Ani looks over at me and I know he is wondering what I want a bucket for. He doesn’t ask, though, simply stops in the garden on our way to the shore and sends one of the gardeners to fill my request. I happily swing the pail by its handle as we walk along. This should be fun.

When we reach the water, I find a rock to sit on, pull off my shoes and socks and drop them in the bucket. The Sith Lord watches me as I stick my bare feet into the dry sand. Rats. It’s not very warm at all. Maybe the water is a better choice. Before Ani can stop me, I wade into the lake, holding the skirt of my dress clear. My retreat is even faster. Double rats. The water is even colder than the sand was.

‘That was not a wise thing to do, Favorite,’ Ani scolds. ‘The water will not be warm enough to go into for another month. Besides that, you might attract the attention of one of Naboo’s large aquatic predators with your splashing about.’

‘What predators?’ I ask, now eyeing the lake warily.

‘Colo claw fish or opee sea killers would both find you a tasty snack,’ he calmly reveals.

I take a few more steps away from the water. Being dinner for some critter is not on my list of things to do this afternoon.

‘Then again,’ Ani continues, ‘you are probably not big enough for them to bother with. Something the size of my shuttle is more to their liking.’

If that’s true then those must be pretty big beasties. I back away a bit more. No way am I getting too close. When I am what I judge a safe distance away, I turn to face Ani. Then I feel something cold, wet and slimy wrap itself around my ankle. I try to yank my foot free with no success. Whatever has grabbed me refuses to let go despite my increasingly desperate attempts to shake it off. With a shriek, I finally launch myself at the Sith Lord who moves out of my reach and starts laughing at my predicament.

I stop my struggles, look down at the piece of seaweed wrapped around my leg, then glare at him. He set me up. Again.

‘That was not very funny, Sith Lord,’ I growl at him.

‘I thought you found lake monster jokes rather amusing,’ he teases.

‘Not when they are played on me!’ I decide.

With a couple of stomped steps, I return to my rock, free my ankle, and toss the length of seaweed at Ani who easily dodges it. Yuck.

‘Feeling a bit better, are we?’ he teases me some more.

I shift my attention to the water and watch the small waves roll up the beach. How do I feel? Tired and a bit unsteady, but Reena told me it would be quite a while before my strength comes back. The constant nausea seems to have faded at last, and the other short term effects of the poison worked their way from my system a few days ago.

That’s not what I am concerned about, Ani tells me as he sits beside me on my rocky perch.

He pulls me close, then wraps his cloak around my back as the wind picks up a little. I let my mind wander while I try to figure out what to tell him. A touch on our bond tells me he is quite worried about my emotional state. And he has reason to be, I suppose. Ani felt nothing but homesickness and loneliness from me for days.

‘I should never have locked you up like that. Not for as long as I did. It was a stupid and insensitive thing to do,’ he admits. ‘All I did was drive you into despair again. You would think that one of these times I would learn from my mistakes...’

I half-listen to him apologize, then hush him with a finger to his breath screen. Enough is enough.

‘You can’t change the past, Ani, so stop, please,’ I ask him.

The Sith Lord falls silent at that.

We sit quietly beside one another while my feet dry in the sun. The sand is soft here and reminds me of an old childhood memory.

‘When I was very small, my parents took my brothers and I down to the ocean,’ I tell Ani. ‘I had never seen so much water and sand before. And the smell of the salt spray as the waves hit the rocks along the shore...’ I let my voice drift off before smiling and adding, ‘It was great fun looking in the tide pools at all the strange creatures and building sand castles. Michael, Jamie, and I buried our youngest brother in the sand and left him there. He screamed until dad came along and rescued him. We had to be nice to him for days afterwards or he would go running to mother and complain that we were picking on him again.’

‘The world I spent much of my childhood on was covered in deserts,’ Ani reveals in response. ‘There was very little water and sand got into everything. I have no fond memories of that place and only went back when I was much older and my mother died.’

I rest my head against his shoulder and think about that. Putting his statements together with the odd comment he has made before about his past, I realize that his childhood must have been a rather unpleasant one.

‘Your childhood sounds like it was difficult and nasty, Ani,’ I decide.

‘Hard and sometimes harsh would be a better description,’ he states. ‘I had my mother and a few friends for company, but my upbringing was nothing like yours.’

‘My childhood must seem like one of luxury and privilege in comparison,’ I wryly note.

‘Not really. You were driven and pushed rather ruthlessly from an early age,’ the Sith Lord notes. ‘When were you ever allowed to just be a child? Watto at least permitted me a few childish dreams and pursuits. Your family never let you have that choice.’

‘That’s a cruel way to put things, Ani,’ I scold him. ‘My parents were not as harsh as you are trying to make them out to be.’

I start thinking about his opinion. No, my parents might have been persistent in trying to get me to make the most of my abilities, but they were not at all cruel in how they went about it. And they did encourage all of their children to have other interests. Not once was I scolded for taking time from my studies to find out what the Sith Lord was up to or for my visits to various Renaissance fairs.

‘They sent you to school when you were far too young for it,’ he reminds me.

School. I make a face. School was misery for me.

‘... and then away to university when it would have been better to wait a few years,’ Ani continues.

True, I admit to myself. My first year was lonely and all I wanted to do was go home.

‘At least they had enough sense to make sure that pesky brother of yours went to the same institution the following year,’ he tells me.

‘You’ve been talking to Michael again. I had never mentioned that to you,’ I note.

‘So tell me now,’ he suggests.

Alright, then.

‘I was in residence the first year and had a room to myself. The other girls on the floor mostly ignored me, that is when they weren’t busy teasing me or trying to embarrass me. To keep my mind off how miserable I felt, I spent most of my time hiding out in the library, reading whatever looked interesting,’ I start out.

‘And...’ he prompts.

‘The second year I was to share a quad - four bedrooms with a common kitchen, bathroom, and living room. I had no idea who my roommates would be. When I arrived, only Liz was there, so I had my pick of the three remaining rooms,’ I continue.

I start to grin. Liz was a hoot. She had told me to grab the best remaining room before our two male compatriots arrived. My eyes had gone quite big at that. The concept of sharing close quarters with two unfamiliar and unrelated men was a shock to my sheltered and naive system. At least she didn’t laugh too much or too loud at my protests. All Liz had done was make lewd comments about what she intended to do with them if they met her criteria for ‘hit over the head and drag into bed’.

Ani starts chuckling a bit. He’s heard a few Liz stories from me already so he knows exactly what she is like.

‘My poor little, innocent Favorite,’ he teases. ‘That sex-crazed woman must have completely shocked you at first.’

‘I was not that naive,’ I scold him, ‘but I did make sure my room was well away from hers.’

Yes, I had been most careful to make sure our rooms had no walls in common. There was no way I wanted to be eavesdropping on any of Liz’s nighttime adventures.

‘I spent quite a while unpacking and hiding out in my room. I thought the most prudent thing to do was stay out of sight while the guys arrived. Once I had the opportunity to listen in a bit, and see what they were like, I figured it would be safe to make an appearance,’ I admit.

My memories of putting my stuff away are still clear, all these years later. Not that I had much to unpack - my laptop, a few books and clothes, pictures. I snuggle up to Ani.

‘There was one picture in particular that I made sure was visible only to me when I was in bed. No one else ever knew it was there,’ I tell him.

‘Infatuated with me, even then, were you?’ he teases me some more.

I go bright red and protest, ‘It wasn’t like that at all.’

The Sith Lord turns his head to look down at me. Rats. He’s going to insist on a further explanation.

‘So tell me how it was, then,’ he prods.

Damn. I just knew he was going to ask that. With a sigh, I try to remember what I felt at that time.

‘You were someone safe, at a distance. I could feel whatever I wanted to and never worry that you would ever know or that it would make one bit of difference,’ I try to put my thoughts and feelings into words. Color creeps into my cheeks again as I admit, ‘I used to think of you as my knight in shining armor who would rescue me some day. It sounds pretty stupid and childish, now, doesn’t it?’

For once Ani doesn’t tease me or make one of his dry comments. Instead, he simply pulls me in closer and waits patiently for me to keep speaking.

‘The stronger feelings for you, those came later, after I knew...’ I stop my revelation mid-sentence.

What had I known about him? I push at my memory but nothing comes back to me. Blanks, all I find are dead ends. Whatever it was I once knew, I had removed it. I give my head a frustrated shake.

‘I can’t remember what it was,’ I finally confess.

‘It’s alright, Maia,’ Ani soothes. ‘Someday your memories might come back. For now, finish your story so we can continue on our walk.’

Story? Oh, that.

‘It was quite a surprise to hear Michael’s voice when he showed up,’ I admit. ‘Liz was a bit put out when I tackled him. She thought I had a prior claim, until he told her I was his sister, that is. Rick arrived later so I gave him the same reception just to see how Liz would react. She somehow knew that chasing after my old friend would be a waste of time and never tried to catch him. Tease, yes - she was quite merciless at that, but she never once tried to get him into bed. Michael, now he was fair game. Liz made his life rather interesting for the next few days, and finally gave up when he dragged her out of his bed and locked her out in the hall in only her underwear. Not that it made much difference. My brother was more embarrassed about that than she was - Liz just used it as an opportunity to flirt with anyone who wandered by to see what the fuss was all about. You should ask him about some of her other tactics since he has always refused to tell me everything she tried on him.’

Hearing that question from Ani should ruffle my brother’s feathers. I know of at least one other incident involving Michael, Liz, and the shower.

‘Over the next few years the four of us became rather well-known around campus. We used to fence in the hallways when the weather was bad or the salle unavailable. Liz was rather hopeless at it and spent most of her time being our lookout and watching for the residence don,’ I finish up.

‘You miss them,’ Ani states.

Miss Liz and Rick? Terribly. Just like I long for home and my family. I bite my lip and look away while I try to hold in the tears.

‘Let it go, my little love,’ the Sith Lord soothes as he pulls my face back around and holds me tight to his chest. ‘Just let it go.’

I bury my face in his robes and cry until I can no longer say a single word. He knows that getting me to talk about home would produce this reaction eventually, so why did he persist in having me do it?

Because you must let it go, he insists. You can never go back there and your constant grieving over that is making you physically ill.

I stay quiet in his arms and concentrate on controlling my breathing to calm myself. Ani’s right about this, but it doesn’t make me feel any better about the situation.

You couldn’t have both, I remind myself, and Ani knows that. If I had remained at home, I would have lost him forever. It would have been impossible for him to come back for me. And his medical needs meant he could never stay with me there. The only way for me to keep Ani was to go with him. There was no choice other than the one he made for me.

I let out a sigh and make a decision.

‘Home is where you are,’ I tell my love, letting my homesickness go at last. ‘Home will always be where you are.’

There is a gentle, soothing touch on our bond and a light caress brushes the tears from my face. I lean into his chest, listen to the waves on the lake, and relax.

‘Don’t fall asleep yet. There’s a nice spot not too far from here where you can have a nap,’ Ani offers after a few minutes.

I shift a bit in his arms and feel a squirm or two from our son. Right on time, I wryly think. It’s been just long enough that the sugar from lunch has woke him up. The funny twitches continue on a regular basis, so I start giggling.

‘He has the hiccups,’ I tell the Sith Lord. ‘Reena told me this could happen, but I never thought it would.’

Ani’s hand slides down to my middle. Someone’s curious from what I can sense.

‘So he does,’ he confirms with some surprise. ‘How odd.’

‘It won’t harm him,’ I reassure Ani, ‘but it does feel weird.’

I reach down, brush the dry sand from my toes, retrieve my socks and shoes from the bucket, and replace them on my feet. Once I am ready to go, the Sith Lord gets up and helps me to my feet. As we wander along the beach, I keep a sharp eye out. Time to put my pail to use.

There’s a good one, I decide. With a gesture I call the shiny pebble to my hand and drop it in the bucket. A few other stones, oddly shaped bits of glass and wood worn smooth by the waves and sand, an old coin, and brightly colored shells quickly join it.

‘What are you doing?’ Ani asks at last, his curiosity finally getting the better of him.

‘Collecting treasures,’ I admit. ‘You can’t walk along a beach without doing that.’

I know he just gave me one of his looks.

‘Well, you can’t,’ I insist. ‘It’s tradition.’

‘I see,’ he replies. ‘You pick up whatever catches your eye and then carry it about with you.’

‘Not exactly,’ I decide.

‘Then what do you do with all the bits you have selected?’ he prompts.

‘Sort through them when you are done and decide which ones to keep,’ I reveal.

‘You are supposed to do this every time you visit a beach?’ Ani wonders.

‘A beach or any other interesting place. You keep the best or strangest things you find to remind you of where you were,’ I answer as I spot another shiny metal bit out in the lake. ‘I had quite a collection of odd rocks in my office from the various places I had been to.’

That earns me another look from him.

‘You are not filling my quarters with rocks,’ Ani scolds. ‘I don’t care how interesting or unusual they are.’

Oops. He must have seen the overflowing shelves and cluttered window sills. Drawing his attention to my rock collection was a bad idea.

‘I’ll keep them in one of my compartments, then,’ I offer.

‘No,’ he firmly replies. ‘No rocks.’

‘But I’m a geologist. I am supposed to have a rock collection,’ I try to get a concession from him.

‘No.’

‘How about just one,’ I try again.

‘No rocks, Favorite, not even one,’ Ani growls.

I give up at that. He will just get annoyed if I keep bugging him about it.

We make our way to the stone summer house. Its windows run from the ceiling to the floor and all of them are open. A warm breeze is now blowing so I settle myself on a bench overlooking the lake and dump my treasures on the leather cushion beside me. Ani joins me and looks at my collection.

Coins first, I decide. I pick up the two well-worn bits of metal and examine them closely. There is not enough left of the engraving to figure out what they were or where they came from, so I give them to Ani. He shakes his head after a minute and returns them. Back in the bucket they go. Glass next. Various pieces of colorless, purple and green. No sharp edges are left and the effect of waves, sand and time have removed any identifying features. The purple one has the neatest shape. I add it to the coins and toss the others out the window and back into the lake. My fingers run over the smooth surface of the small bit of wood I had picked up. That feels neat. It quickly goes to keep the coins and purple glass company. Shells now. Most are broken or chipped, but I look at each one anyway. Some look like snail or clam shells from Earth, others are like nothing I have ever seen before.

‘Do you know what these are?’ I ask Ani, handing him a few of the more unusual shells.

He turns them over a few times, then hands them back.

‘I think they belong to a snail that lives on red glie, but I am not sure,’ he says in answer.

I line the shells up on the bench. The best one I pick out and add to my ‘keeper’ stack.

Now for the pebbles. I sort through them, looking at the type of rock and minerals that are in each one. Most are rather boring. An attractive, brightly banded one catches my eye so I set it aside. Two others join it. The rest I toss out the window. With a touch of hesitation, I set them in the bucket.

‘No rocks,’ Ani reminds me.

Rats. Maybe I can sneak a pebble into my pocket without getting caught.

‘Stubborn,’ he teases.

‘So are you,’ I start our usual exchange.

‘Contrary,’ he plays along.

‘And so are you,’ I reply, doing my best not to grin too widely.

‘Little hedonist,’ he ventures next.

At that I tackle him, pinning him to the bench.

‘Is that an invitation?’ I ask, running a finger suggestively from his throat down his chest, heading towards his belt before he grabs my hand.

‘Not here,’ he scolds. ‘We might be seen.’

I let him up instantly.

‘Naptime for you,’ Ani suggests once he has gained his feet.

With a few quick motions he has settled me on my side again and tossed his cloak over top of me. Darn. I would rather stay awake and tease him than have another snooze.

‘You must rest,’ he reminds me.

Alright, I decide, I’ll behave and have a nap. With a sigh, I shut my eyes and soon drift into sleep.

***

She’s sound asleep again. Good. My agent is supposed to be here soon and Maia should sleep through my meeting with him.

I look at her collection of treasures. She is such a stubborn little creature. But if I let her bring even one of them back to the Executor, my quarters will soon resemble her office and be completely cluttered with her keepsakes. I reach for the pail, then stop myself. Tossing them out will only upset her. Let her have her few pieces of Naboo. If they get in my way, they will simply disappear.

‘Playing at the beach, Uncle Dee?’ I hear a voice tease.

I whirl about and growl a warning, ‘Jixton.’

He just continues to lean against the wall and grin at me. Maia was right. For all his usefulness, Jix is an irritant.

‘I have an errand for you, Jix,’ I tell him.

He looks past me, at my wife, and my temper starts to fray.

‘Aunt Em looks rather unwell,’ he observes.

I deliberately step into his line of sight.

‘Yes,’ I admit, ‘she was very ill and you are going to trace the toxin’s source for me...’

***

Ani? I wonder as I wake up and open my eyes.

The Sith Lord freezes and stops his conversation dead. I have obviously interrupted something, but I need to move a bit before I can fall asleep again. With a careful shove, I shift about and shut my eyes again.

Jix’s comment prevents me from falling asleep.

‘It’s from Falleen,’ he flatly states.

‘And how would you know that?’ Ani snaps. He’s getting annoyed.

‘It’s rather obvious. Look at her eyes,’ Jix suggests.

I hear the fabric of the Sith Lord’s tunic move as he steps closer to me.

Wake up a moment, love, he tells me, and open your eyes for me.

I quickly comply and look up at him. He sets a hand under my chin and tips my head back and forth a few times. A rather interesting curse or two in Sith erupts from him next.

Ani, what’s wrong? I ask.

Go back to sleep, little goddess, he suggests.

‘The sickness ended an hour ago, I would guess,’ Jix states as he moves closer. He is all business now and there is no trace of teasing left in his voice. ‘Where did it enter her system?’

I feel Ani slide his cloak from my back. Jix doesn’t touch me, but I know he must be taking a good look at where the anti-nausea patch was. The Sith Lord lets out an angry hiss and gloved fingers brush my back as he pulls the cloak to where it was before.

‘Nasty,’ Jix observes. ‘But that will clear up in a few days just like her eyes will.’

What will clear up? And what is wrong with my eyes?

Go to sleep, Ani orders, nudging my mind as he does so.

When I wake up again, Jix is gone and the Sith Lord is sitting next to me on the bench. He runs his fingers through my hair once he realizes I am looking up at him.

... close so very close... is a stray thought I pick up from him before he can hide it.

‘Something is very wrong, isn’t it,’ I observe.

He hesitates, then resumes his caresses.

‘Anakin,’ I warn.

His even breathing is broken by a sigh, but he still doesn’t answer me. I shut my eyes tight. He’s back to keeping secrets again. Fine, then, stay silent about this. I won’t pry.

‘The poison was custom made by an expert of Falleen origin,’ Ani finally reveals. ‘Jix had encountered something like it when he was on that planet many years ago. Fortunately, the manufacturer had no way of knowing how far along in your pregnancy you would be before using that particular package of patches. The elevated hormone levels in your system and increased blood volume bought enough time to save your life.’

‘You have sent Jix off to find whoever made it, haven’t you?’ I shrewdly surmise.

‘Yes,’ he reluctantly admits, ‘but it may take him months to track them now. The trail has grown cold, Maia. That package was planted weeks, perhaps months, ago in the Executor’s medical supplies.’

By who? Someone who could move around the ship without attracting attention. And when? Perhaps before the ship’s recording systems were operating? There would be no record of their movements then. Now that limits the possible times considerably. It would have to be before the ship was launched and after my pregnancy became obvious. Unless....

Ani, who knew I was pregnant early on? I ask, not really expecting an answer.

His touches abruptly stop and I can almost hear his mind working away at this.

Trever down in Medical, but he caught it on one of his blood tests. I told Thirsk immediately. He had to know. That’s why he was always so careful with how he handled you during your lessons with him, the Sith Lord admits. No one else knew. Not until I told the Emperor a month later.

I consider what he just told me and my mind makes an intuitive leap or two.

Mia knew, I decide. She just never let on that she did. Just like she knew what you felt for me and stayed silent about that to protect herself.

And she probably told her controller about both, is Ani’s wry comment. It makes perfect sense. Question is, did she plant the patches, or did her contact arrange for someone else to do that after the Lieutenant’s death?

The Sith Lord gets up and starts pacing while he worries away at this problem. After a few minutes of watching him, I shut my eyes and start to drift again. I am still tired.

You are exhausted, Ani notes. I shouldn’t have taken you for such a long walk.

I’ll be fine, Ani. I just need to sleep a bit longer, I tell him.

Rest, then, my love, he suggests.

A nap will be good, so I give his cloak a tug and let myself fall asleep. Sometime later I wake to the sound of Ani’s lightsaber. I open my eyes a crack and quietly watch him run through one of the more complicated set patterns he uses to warm up. When he finishes and his head turns to look over at me, I know he has sensed I am awake.

‘Time to go back,’ he decides, as he walks towards me, shutting off and replacing his ‘saber on his belt.

Ani takes my selected keepsakes and tucks them inside his tunic. I guess he is going to let me keep them after all. The bucket is set aside before he pulls his cloak off me. Minutes later, he is carrying me back towards the Retreat along a gravel path well above the shoreline. I look about as we go, but nothing really interesting catches my attention. From the shadows, though, it is late in the afternoon, so I must have slept for quite some time.

‘You needed to rest,’ the Sith Lord admits, ‘and your eyes have started to lose that odd orange hue already.’

‘Orange eyes. Ugh,’ I reply. No wonder he reacted the way he did earlier.

‘It won’t last,’ he reassures me.

‘Good,’ I tell him, ‘orange eyes will only clash with my hair color.’

He responds to that with a low chuckle.

When we reach the Retreat, Ani doesn’t head for his quarters, but back to the dining room instead. Dinner time, I guess as I am set down in the chair I occupied earlier. My meal is different from lunch - roast nuna, a few vegetables that are considered delicacies, and sweet shuura fruit for dessert. The Sith Lord is silent while I eat, deep in thought about something. After I finish, he guides me into a nearby sitting room and settles me into a chair by an empty fireplace.

From his body language, he’s not sure what to do and is debating what to say. I watch him pace a moment, then see him glance towards the door which instantly swings shut. Whatever is bothering him, Ani wants to deal with it in private. He steps closer to me, sets his hands around my face, and caresses my cheekbones with his thumbs. For a long time, the Sith Lord just looks at me. I stay silent and wait.

Finally, he slides his hands down from my face, takes my left one in his and drops to one knee in front of me. What is he up to? There are no hints at all from our bond since he has closed himself off as tightly as possible.

‘I want you to listen carefully and then answer my question,’ Ani requests.

I nod my understanding and agreement. I will do this for him.

‘Forget everything that has happened since we left your homeworld. We are back at your party, by the fountain with no Jedi around to interrupt,’ he tells me.

I shut my eyes and let myself go back to that moment in the courtyard. Ani had held me close and I had felt completely secure in his arms. He had been so unsure of what to say to me, then, as well.

‘You told me you would go with me...,’ Ani continues.

Yes, I had said that, but only after convincing myself to tell him the truth of what I would do.

‘... and I could not find the right words for what I needed to say to you. I am not a poet, not a politician or anyone who is adept at that sort of thing...’

He had struggled for quite some time before blurting out his admission of how lonely he had been, and even after that he still fought with himself for many minutes more.

‘... so I won’t bother trying to come up with anything original or fancy. I will just ask you straight out...’

I freeze in my chair. The third question. The one Nigel interrupted. The one he never did ask me.

God’s above.

I don’t believe this.

He’s decided to make a formal proposal after all.

‘Ani,’ I reassure him, ‘you don’t need to do this.’

A tight squeeze to my hand shuts me up.

‘You asked me that second night what I wanted from you and I refused to answer. But I knew. I knew the moment you stayed in my arms and let me comfort you. Anyone else would have fled. But you stayed. Do you have any idea what that meant to me? How it felt to know I had finally found someone who might actually be capable of loving me?’

There is such pain and hope in his voice as he says that. Oh, my love, we were two very lonely people who needed one another.

‘That night on the roof. You sought me out and didn’t reject me when I held you. Instead, you actually flirted with me. Pulled me in closer. Didn’t want me to let you go. So I was daring and let myself hope a little. And the next day it was the same. Only when I repeatedly hurt you did you run from me.’

He hesitates, no doubt remembering that nasty scene.

‘And when you swore the oath of binding to me. You were so very stubborn about wanting to know what you had said. Somehow the implications and meaning escaped you.’

His hand gives mine another gentle squeeze.

‘But you seemed happy that I accepted, so I assumed you knew what you had done and that you wanted me as your mate since you willingly let me do as I wished that evening. It never occurred to me that you didn’t understand, at least not until I first spoke with you on the Executor a few days later,’ he wryly admits.

That evening. The first time he had, the first time we had ... Oh. I feel my cheeks start to heat up.

‘The first time you told me you loved me,’ Ani softly adds.

I reach over and trace the cheek ridge of his mask with a finger. That was the first time he heard it from me, but I had said it to him before, in my dreams.

‘I only wish I had the courage at the time to say the same to you.’

The Sith Lord hadn’t. It was almost two months after that before he did so, and it was a struggle for him to say it even then.

‘I should have asked you this long ago, Maia,’ the Sith Lord quietly states.

I hold my breath in anticipation.

‘Will you marry me? Be my wife, my love, my Lady?’ he asks, finally. ‘I might never be allowed to acknowledge you as such in public, but you will always be that to me in my heart.’

I let my mental defenses drop and tip his masked face up with my free hand so I can look into his eyes. Oh Ani, my love, do you know what it means to me to hear you ask that? My eyes start to water a bit, but the tears are ones of happiness, so I let them escape.

‘Yes, my love,’ I tell him. ‘My answer is yes.’

***

I watch the old priest take his place beside me.

Does he remember another ceremony he conducted here years ago? Does he remember the young Jedi and senator who pledged themselves to one another?

I turn away and look out at the lake for a moment. This wedding won’t remain a secret for very long. My master will learn of it soon enough.

Let him learn of it. Let him wonder. I don’t care.

Maia has earned this. Deserves this.

She is my Lady, my wife. He has no right to deny us this.

I hear her light footsteps against the stone. Her brother’s more solid ones accompanying them.

He has decided to act as our witness, like C-3PO and R2 did decades ago.

I turn and watch her approach.

She is dressed in white, clad from head to toe in shimmering mothsilk, a thin veil covering her hair and face. Somehow she has managed to disguise her pregnancy, hiding its curves under meters of fabric. How sweet she looks, how innocent.

I take her hands in mine and only half-listen to the words the priest speaks, answering automatically as I need to. Maia’s face holds all of my attention. The joy I hear from her as she says her vows to me, the love in her voice are echoed by what I feel through our bond, matched by what I see in her features.

The Naboo ceremony is finished, but I have one more thing I need to do. I pull the gold bands from where I had hidden them, slide one onto Maia’s finger, then allow her to do the same with me. She seems surprised I knew to do this, then smiles at me, knowing I must have asked her brother what was customary among her people.

Then we are alone, on the stone veranda, staring into one another eyes.

There is no Sith Lord here, no scientist.

Only a man and a woman who love one another.

***

Part 9

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