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The Sith Lord and the Scientist Section B - Part 4

DAY 30

Roadtrip day, I think as I open my eyes. Today we will transfer to the Devastator, then jump out of the system. This will be my first time in a shuttle, first time off the Executor since I was brought here.

Ani is still sound asleep, as usual, so I carefully shift myself up and out of his arms just enough that I can look in his face. My dearest love. You look so very innocent when you sleep. If the rest of the galaxy saw you as I do, would they really run in fear from you? If they saw the kindness you show me, saw the man who hides behind more than just a physical mask, what would they truly think?

I resist the strong urge to touch his face or kiss him, letting him continue to slumber undisturbed while I wool-gather. He’s totally relaxed at last. This past week has been stressful for him, and while he rarely said much about the causes, I know that dealing with those traitor admirals has frustrated him to no end. I give my head a shake. Imperial politics sickens and bores me. Well, at least those five fools won’t be a thorn in Ani’s side any more.

It is still far too early to be doing anything, so I curl up against my love once again. I am too awake now to fall asleep, so I continue to muse instead. The galaxy may fear him, but I will never do so. But if I had been born here, would I have learned to fear him as well? Would we ever have found one another? A question which will never have an answer. Love makes for strange bedfellows, I guess.

Strange bedfellows. Some of the media were quite cruel in their speculations about our match this last week. Nothing was said on any of the official channels, of course, but others... I cringe inwardly, remembering some of what I accidentally overheard one night when Ani thought I was sleeping and he was checking to see if what he had been told was true. To hear that my love was supposedly beating me into submission while keeping me locked up had upset me for days afterwards. It hadn’t helped that their “proof” was to play the recording Mia had taken and given to the press. No, hearing my hysterical fit broadcast for everyone to hear had been almost more than I could bear. And Ani. Ani had been livid. Whatever he did next, I don’t know, but the network involved had returned the stolen sound slug and publicly apologized the following day.

I feel a silent tear escape and slide down my face, then another quickly follows. How could people believe such a thing, believe that anyone, even my Ani, could behave in such a way? Well, at least most of the crew gave me sympathetic looks after that story hit the air, and no one ever so much as breathed a word about it in my presence. They know the truth, I decide, because they have seen us together, and know he would never lay a hand on me in that way. I let out a quiet sigh, and feel my love’s hand touch my face, brush the tears away.

‘You are upset again, aren’t you?’ he quietly asks, ‘and about that news report if I am not mistaken.’

I smile a little and snuggle in tighter. Our soul-bond has grown considerably stronger the last few days. He is able to read my emotions quite easily now, if he wants, regardless of how strong or thick I build my shields. Well, I don’t want to worry him too much. Time to put that nastiness aside.

‘You should sleep a bit more,’ I scold him, ‘if you are going to insist on working as late tonight as you did the last few days.’

Ani pushes himself up, keeping me in his arms and holding me close once he is settled comfortably against the wall. He knows I like being held and find the contact soothing. It’s too bad we can never do this in public, can never show any affection of any kind. There have been times when even the briefest of innocent touches would have calmed or helped me deal with a stressful situation.

‘I wish we could do this whenever we want to,’ I admit.

‘It will be easier for me to touch you in public if you are with child,’ my love tells me. ‘Even the Emperor would think nothing of it then. He would merely assume my concern is for your safety and that of my heir. We would still have to be careful not to be too blatant about it, though.’

That prompts a smile from me which I know he can’t see. Soon, I hope, if my plans work out, soon. I feel his lips on my hair and twist my head around so I can look into his eyes, his beautiful blue eyes. Would our children have my eyes or his? Genetics tells me they would most certainly be blue, but which shade? And what about hair? Mine is a bright red-gold; his blondish brown. My father’s is red-gold like my own, my mother’s brunette. No way to figure out what a child of ours might end up with on that front.

‘Well, hopefully our kids will be spared my family’s distinctive nose and chin,’ I tease.

‘There is nothing wrong with your nose or chin, Maia, my beautiful concubine,’ Ani teases, kissing both before he finishes with, ‘They just make you stand out in a crowd. And our first child, a son, will have my eyes and your hair.’

I wonder how he knows that. Has he gone looking at the future to find out or is he just teasing me a bit more?

‘You’ve been snooping about, trying to see the future, haven’t you?’ I bug him some.

He simply smiles a little at my question, looking like a boy who just got caught doing something he shouldn’t have. So he has been checking out what-might-be’s.

‘Watch out, Sith Lord, you might get something completely different than what you expect,’ I threaten.

He chuckles at that, pulls me a bit closer, then his lips are on mine. Our morning kiss, I happily think. When he tries to finish it and slip out of my grasp, I pin him to the wall with a second kiss, and don’t let him. Nope, Sith Lord, you aren’t getting away that fast today, I think to myself. No way is he going to escape that easily.

Playful this morning are you, concubine? he teases.

Maybe, is all I will admit.

Shall we see then? he asks.

Ani pulls the both us back down under the covers, then pins me in place beneath him, resting most of his weight on one elbow. I see him looking down into my face, watching me closely.

I love you, Ani, I tell him, as I do every day.

No response, so I lift a hand to his face, then run it through his hair. He hasn’t removed it yet and it’s been almost a month.

‘That, my Favorite, is coming off today,’ he decides. ‘It is far too long and I find it quite hot in my helmet now.’

‘No,’ I complain, ‘I like your short hair.’

‘Off it comes regardless,’ he insists.

Well, fine then. Be that way. I try to pull him down to me for a kiss, but he refuses to budge. Why is he being so stubborn this morning? First he does his best to get away, now he won’t co-operate when he obviously wanted to fool around a bit.

‘You have a secret, don’t you, my Favorite?’ my love asks.

‘Secret?’ I reply, puzzled. What is he going on about?

‘Shall I tell you what it is?’ he teases.

‘I don’t have any secrets, Ani, you know that,’ I tell him.

That produces a chuckle from him, then he sets his face a few inches from mine, stares right into my eyes, and teases me some more, ‘Favorite mine, I know what you are so busy trying to hide, but I will let you keep your secret for now.’

With that he does kiss me, so I wrap my arms around him and enjoy myself. When he finishes our kiss this time, my love rolls onto his back and lies beside me. Time to snuggle up to him for a few minutes since he is obviously not going to do anything more, or maybe I should be a bit bratty for a change. I watch carefully, wait until he shuts his eyes, then slip one hand under his robe and around his waist while I give him a light kiss on the ear.

‘Don’t,’ Ani warns.

Don’t what? I wonder. Not sure what to do, I kiss him on the ear again. This time he moves away from me.

‘Stop that, Maia,’ he orders.

Why? Then it occurs to me. He’s ticklish. And I have inadvertently found a spot that is particularly sensitive. This could be great fun or rather dangerous. I sneak closer again and kiss him a third time on the same spot.

‘If you do that again, ...’ he starts to threaten, but I shut him up with a kiss on the mouth this time.

Ticklish, are you? I tease him. I could have some fun with that, you know.

Behave, concubine, he warns me.

Spoilsport, I call him.

I break off our kiss, rest my head in the middle of his chest and curl up tight to the man I love. No rush this morning, I think happily, only a few things to pack and then we will be gone and in hyperspace with not too many worries or cares. There is no way I can prevent a contented sigh from escaping.

‘Happy little concubine, aren’t you?’ he teases, running both his hands through my hair as he does so.

‘Darn. I forgot to braid it last night so there will be snarls to deal with this morning,’ I grumble.

‘Sit up then, and I’ll help you with it,’ Ani offers.

A quick debate. Curl up a bit or let him play with my hair? Why not both?

I sit up as he requested and sure enough, two arms wrap around me from behind, and a moment later his lips are on the back of my neck. A shiver goes through me at the contact, but he pulls back and begins to carefully work through the knots in my hair with his fingers. It’s not too snarled today, so a few minutes later, I give it a quick twist to prevent any more tangles.

‘A few minutes more, my Favorite, then we must be up,’ my love warns.

My response is to pull his arms tight around me and lean back into his chest. Maybe I can ask him a question or two since he seems to be in a generous and helpful mood.

‘Ani, how did you end up on my homeworld?’ I pose the question which has been bothering me for over a month.

‘I don’t really know, Maia,’ the Sith Lord admits. ‘It was supposed to be a short hour or two trip to a meeting on Teyr in the nearby system of Surric. That’s why I decided to take my TIE instead of a shuttle. Then the nav-computer went crazy and there was nothing I could do except wait until the Force told me it was safe to drop out of hyperspace.’

‘You were awake more than two days?’ I ask. ‘No wonder you were so exhausted when you finally decided to get some sleep.’ And, I quietly think to myself, that’s probably why he didn’t fuss too much about sharing my bed, either.

‘That, my Favorite, had more to do with you than how tired I was at the time,’ he tells me. ‘I was curious to see what you would do.’

‘Did I surprise you?’ I can’t help but ask.

‘That is quite the understatement,’ he admits with a laugh. ‘First you fall asleep in my embrace, then invite me into your bed and spend the night in my arms, never once showing the slightest hint of fear or concern. Of course I was surprised.’

‘Was that when you decided to bring me back with you?’ I question, curious now.

‘Full of impertinent questions today?’ he teases, and I feel a kiss on my neck again. ‘No, not quite then, that’s when I realized ...’

Ani suddenly stops. Realized what? I stretch my senses out to him. He’s become quite guarded, almost afraid to complete what he was going to say. I think carefully. The next morning he had thrown that odd tantrum and at the time I had suspected he was upset about what he had let himself do. Darth Vader sharing a bed with a woman is not something one would expect to see happen. My mind works away and then I know. I know what he can’t bring himself to tell me.

‘You don’t need to tell me, Ani,’ I quietly reassure him, ‘I already know.’

That morning was when he had to first face the fact that he might actually have feelings for me. Feelings strictly forbidden to him. No wonder he stormed off like he did. My poor love was tearing himself apart inside trying to decide what he felt and what to do about it.

You can be extraordinarily perceptive sometimes, Ani tells me in a thought. You knew that even then, didn’t you?

Yes, my love, I agree, I knew, I understood even, but I couldn’t accept what I knew, not that day.

You had a hard time even admitting to yourself that you loved me at first, he calmly states.

No, Ani, I have always loved you, I confess. I was just afraid to tell you, that’s all.

He is quiet at my admission, then asks, ‘Always?’

‘Yes, Ani, since I was a child in fact...’ I tell him, then stop abruptly. There is something wrong with that memory. I narrow my eyes and think a bit. No, the numbers just don’t add up. If he has been in that armor for twenty years or so, I couldn’t possibly have heard of him when I was a child. Somehow I’ve added more than seven years to that time span.

‘It must be a faulty memory,’ I decide, ‘an after effect of whatever I did to myself many weeks ago.’

‘Curious that,’ Ani notes, ‘I wonder what other anomalies you will find if you go looking.’

‘Not too many, I hope. That one is strange enough as it is,’ I admit.

I twist about in his arms and he leans sideways a bit so we can look one another in the face. It’s an awkward position to kiss in, but my love does so nonetheless.

Most beloved, I call him.

My little goddess, he answers.

‘Time to get up and get ready to leave,’ he decides after ending our kiss.

A moment later he is out of bed and in the ‘fresher showering. Rats. If I had moved faster I could have had my bath first. I go to the compartments with my clothes and debate what to wear. No reason to wear a practical tunic and trousers today, so I pull out my favorite gown and toss it onto the bed. My cloak, boots, and underthings quickly join it. The spacer’s trunk Ani took from his workshop is still at my feet, empty, and it takes only a few minutes to fill it with the clothes I will take and my treasures from home.

When Ani reappears, I grab my selected clothes and head into the ‘fresher. I am still far too shy to dress in front of him, a fact which amuses him to no end. A quick bath follows, then I am dressed and sitting at the table having breakfast with him. He’s in a good mood today, I note, one I hope will continue throughout our trip. I reach my hand across the table to him, and he catches and holds it in his own.

‘It’s too bad you have your armor on,’ I tease, ‘Since there’s nothing for you to do today we could curl up in bed some more.’

‘No, we can’t, my Favorite, it will be time to go shortly,’ Ani tells me, and I know he is amused with me rather than annoyed.

‘Well then,’ I say, trying again to convince him to play about with me, ‘leave the armor on then.’

That idea produces a snort from him and the comment, ‘Not after the last time, Favorite mine, not unless you let me take my own belt off.’

My face blushes at that. My poor love who is stuck with a klutz for a concubine.

‘Well, not now then, since you are in such a rush to leave,’ I concede.

‘Later today or tomorrow, perhaps?’ he asks, hinting for an answer.

‘Maybe,’ I tease. I know when, but I am not going to tell him, not yet anyway.

Ani just gives me a knowing smile, releases my hand, and pours a second glass for himself and a half one for me before taking my hand in his again. He’s up to something, I decide, but I have no idea what.

‘You have packed what you want to take?’ Ani asks, and I nod in response and point to the not quite full trunk.

‘Good. I will have one of my aides look after it for you. Now, you will be taking the shuttle while I fly my TIE over to the Devastator. Commander Thirsk will accompany you,’ he tells me next.

I had expected that. My love is not one to leave his fighter behind if he is gone for any length of time. He has been very protective of me, too.

‘The Commander has spent quite a bit of time acting as my bodyguard,’ I note, ‘even when it isn’t necessary.’

‘It is necessary, Maia. I can no longer trust anyone except my old friend where you are concerned,’ my love admits, ‘and I will not risk your life simply because you think I am being over-protective of you.’

‘But he has his troops to look after,’ I protest, ‘and isn’t his duty to them first?’

‘Not anymore. Thirsk asked to be reassigned to your staff. His only duty is to protect you,’ he reveals, ‘and to select potential bodyguards for you from the class at Carida. The ones who work out, he will train himself.’

Bodyguards. Great, just great. I give Ani an annoyed look and sip on my drink.

‘Next thing I know you will stick a homing device on me so you can find me whenever you want to,’ I grumble.

‘I can do that with the Force and our bond. No homing device required,’ he teases now, giving my hand a squeeze before letting it go.

I watch him pour a third glass of the supplement for himself. My glass is empty now, but I am still thirsty, so I go and fill it with water in the ‘fresher. Ani is still quietly finishing his breakfast when I return. I set my glass down on the table, then step behind him and wrap my arms around his neck. He’s left his hair alone, I happily note, so I give him a kiss on the top of his head and rest my cheek against it.

‘Happy are you?’ Ani teases. ‘It will do nothing but annoy me, but since you want it there, I will leave it a while longer.’

‘If it’s that uncomfortable, go ahead and remove it,’ I tell him. There’s no point in my love being miserable just so I can run my fingers through his hair.

‘In a few days, then,’ he decides. ‘Now give me a kiss before I put my helmet on.’

I quickly comply then follow him from the bedroom once he is ready to go. He leaves me in his office for a while, and I know he is in his workshop, located off of the kitchen, and busy with something or another. Ani has spent a fair amount of time in there the last week, and while my curiosity has been prodding me to sneak in and see what he has been up to, I know better than to go snooping in there. Even though he has never locked it, that room is off limits to me. When he returns, I see that he has moved and left two trunks by the door to his quarters. Guess he’s bringing some of his stuff along too.

The Sith Lord looks at me as he takes his chair and I give him a contented smile. Departure time soon will be here. He comms the two aides who will be transferring with us and a few minutes later the trunks disappear from the room next door. Commander Thirsk arrives immediately after to escort me to the hanger while Ani gives Admiral Griff any last minute instructions he has. Once by the shuttle, I stop and wait. Thirsk stands patiently beside me, somehow knowing I won’t set foot in the shuttle until I see that my love is on his way to his fighter.

As I watch Ani approach us from the hangar entrance, Thirsk disappears into the shuttle. My love is still in a good mood, I note, no tension or stress at all in his movements, and all I can sense from him is contentment. Good. Griff didn’t have any bad news for him.

Ani, I silently call to him.

Maia, you should be in the shuttle, he scolds.

Not yet, I insist, not until I was sure you were right behind us.

Stubborn little concubine, he teases.

He is beside me now, and after unhooking his cloak and handing it to me, orders, ‘Look after this, my Favorite. It will only be in my way. Now, into the shuttle with you.’

‘Yes, my Lord,’ I politely agree, but I stubbornly stay at the bottom of the ramp until I see him drop into the cockpit of his fighter before entering the shuttle as instructed.

‘About time, my lady,’ Thirsk scolds me as I enter the cabin.

I make no reply, just sit down beside him and strap in, carefully holding Ani’s folded cloak in my lap. This is my first time in a small ship of any kind when I have been conscious, so I look about the cabin to see what might be of interest. The only other passengers are my Lord’s two aides. No windows to look out of, is my second observation. Darn. If I lean over, I can peer through the door into the cockpit and see into the hangar through the large forward window in front.

The ramp had closed the second I was seated, and I hear the pilot receive clearance to leave. There is little sensation of movement as the shuttle lifts from the deck and heads out into space. I watch intently as we fly clear of the ship, and Ani’s TIE does a graceful loop as he drops into sight just ahead of us. That brings a smile to my face.

Showoff, I think at him, you just love an audience, don’t you, my love.

Especially when you’re in it, Ani teases.

I stifle a laugh by raising a hand to my mouth, and Thirsk gives me an odd, measuring look.

You can be such a brat sometimes, my love, I tease him back.

I heard you call me that once before. Define it please, my Favorite, he asks.

Oops. He did hear me that night then.

Mischievous child, I reply after a moment’s thought.

Ah, is his brief reply.

I can see the Devastator looming through the cockpit window now, and Ani accelerates into the docking bay well ahead of us. The shuttle soon follows him in and the moment the ramp drops, I know he is at the bottom, waiting for me. Thirsk and the aides stay in their places, allowing me to leave first, so I calmly rise from my seat and walk down to where the Sith Lord is standing.

‘Your cloak, my Lord,’ I say, handing him the garment I had carefully folded not so long ago.

He takes it from my hands and with a quick toss, it is back in place around his shoulders. To my surprise, I am offered his arm and then walked across the hangar to the closest door. The layout of the Devastator is completely unfamiliar to me, and while I try to memorize our path, I realize that I will have to quickly learn how to find my way around.

I wonder where he is taking me because for some reason Ani keeps heading upwards in the ship. We must be close to the command deck by now. Sure enough, down a corridor we go, then around a corner and up a few stairs, and the heart of the ship’s operations is in front of us.

Ani? I question, puzzled now. He has never taken me anywhere near the command deck on his new flagship.

I thought you might want to see what happens when the Devastator jumps out of system, he tells me, and I needed to come here first before going to our quarters.

I am walked to the window, then my hand is removed from his arm.

Stay here and enjoy the view while I speak with Captain Wermis, Ani orders.

He spins about and is gone, so I stare out at Fondor and the shipyard. The Executor is completely framed out now. All that remains is to finish filling in the superstructure and add the last of the weapon emplacements. Below it is the planet, scarred by centuries of industrialization. I can see a few oceans and large lakes, but surely they are thoroughly polluted by now. Not a place I would want to see up close at all. Perhaps Carida, if I am allowed to go down, will be a more hospitable location for a visit.

I hear Ani’s breathing close behind me, but do not turn to look. The Devastator has begun to move away from Fondor to a place it can safely jump to hyperspace. Soon the view shifts as the ship moves, and neither the planet nor the shipyards are visible. Within minutes, we pass another world in the system, a large gas giant my mind catalogs it. A moment later, my love steps in closer and I feel him set his hands on my waist. I know he is being quite careful to keep his movements out of the crew’s sight. Before I can ask what is going on, there is an odd vibration in the ship, a strange sense of something about to happen, and the scene through the transparisteel shifts to one of a kaleidoscope. Streaks of light, swirls and odd bursts of color randomly appear. I shut my eyes tight. Looking at that is rather bewildering.

‘Hyperspace can take some time to get used to, my Favorite,’ Ani admits.

‘I don’t think I should look at it at all, my Lord,’ I decide. ‘It is just a bit too disorienting.’

‘Keep your eyes closed for a minute, then, while I take you back to our quarters,’ he tells me.

His hands shift, his right one moves to wrap around my back while with the other one he holds my right hand. I am carefully guided away from the windows, along the walkway in the center of the command deck. There is not a sound from the crew on duty, but I suspect there will be a few raised eyebrows after we are out of sight. Once Ani stops, I know we are safely away from any windows, so I open my eyes and look up at him.

Thank you, my love, I silently tell him, I was beginning to feel quite dizzy looking at that.

In time, you would get used to it. It no longer bothers me at all, he admits.

He sets my hand on his arm again and I am led back along the same path we took earlier. Partway, though, he takes a different corridor and then we are at his quarters. The trunks have already arrived, I see, but the Sith Lord ignores them and leads me back towards the bedroom.

‘The layout is the same as on my new flagship,’ Ani tells me as we walk along, ‘and only a bit smaller in floor space. Rank does have some uses.’

I smile at his last comment. True, I think, but he never really uses his for creature comforts. There is nothing excessive or extravagant about the rooms here or on the Executor. We step into the bedroom and I have a quick look around. Much the same as the other, I decide, and someone has already seen to it that two chairs and a table have been brought in.

Now what are we going to do?

Anything you want to, Favorite mine, he teases me.

Anything? I reply.

This could get interesting. So what should I answer? I give my love a sideways glance. No hints from him as to what he thinks we should do, and he obviously has no pressing business or he would not have made the offer. After a moment’s debate, I make my decision.

I slide my arms around him and feel his own hands about my waist.

Hold me, I ask, just hold me for a while.

There is comfort here in his arms, a sense of belonging like that I felt when he first held me what seems so long ago now.

My most beloved, I call him next as I lean against him.

Safe. I am safe here, sheltered from the cares and worries of the galaxy. A sigh escapes me as I move in closer and his arms grow tighter about me in response. No need for concern; I have nothing to fear. I am his and his alone, and he knows it.

Little goddess, it pleases me that you are quite content today, he comments.

Am I content with my lot? Yes, I decide, I finally am. It has not been easy to adjust to my new life. This first month has been quite difficult in fact. Nothing was really that familiar to me and between the culture shock from that and dealing with the stress of leaving home there were many times I quietly cried myself to sleep. Never when my love was near, of course, but I know he could feel my distress nonetheless. Then that horrid day when Mia died. Ani has not told me all the truth about that yet, but Thirsk on one occasion let it slip that she had somehow taken her own life before the Sith Lord could discover anything from her mind. Will I pry further? No. It is enough to know that and no more.

I shift myself in Ani’s arms and continue to muse. The Sith Lord has always been firm but kind to me, and even when I defied him, he never really lost his temper. He would make a good husband to me, I quietly decide, if the Emperor were ever inclined to allow it. That doesn’t matter though - he is mine already and I won’t ever leave him.

I love you, Ani, I tell him for the second time today.

His hand brushes my face in response, and I wonder if I will ever hear the same in return from him.

Dearest love, I think, will you ever allow yourself to tell me how you really feel?

Another caress to my face and a light touch against my mind, so I let my defenses drop and wait. Affection, fondness, and love he gently sends to me for only a few seconds. Then his emotional shields are in place again; his feelings for me once more deeply hidden and guarded.

Thank you, my love, I tell him, grateful that he finally did that.

I should have done that weeks ago, he admits. You needed to feel that from me.

I rest my cheek against his chest and sigh. His emotional reassurance has allayed all of my fears and remaining concerns. Time to think about something else. We have an entire week more or less to do as we wish with. Maybe he will answer a few more of my questions or teach me something new to do with the Force.

‘Would you like to try a lightsaber in the salle?’ Ani offers.

‘Yes, of course!’ is my happy answer. Cool. This will be the first time he lets me do this.

‘Hurry and get changed then and meet me in my office when you are ready,’ he instructs, releasing me as he does so.

Ani disappears into his office and I go to fetch my trunk. It is awkward for me to move, so I carefully lift it with the Force. My love looks out to see what I am up to, but does not scold me for my actions. Come along, trunk, I think at it, and it obligingly follows me into the bedroom. I am getting better at that, I decide. Practicing while the Sith Lord works has helped hone my basic skills.

The arrangement of compartments is the same in the bedroom here as on the Executor, but none are yet keyed to my touch. I open my trunk and dig out what I want. Proper unpacking can be left until later. A few minutes later, I am in tunic and trousers and heading over to Ani’s office. He’s not alone, I sense, so I stretch out with my feelings. Not someone I know, but a presence from earlier in the day, up on the command deck. Must be the Devastator’s Captain, I decide. No hurry then, I’ll just look through the kitchen and see what I need to requisition.

Ky-Lessian fruit is well represented on the shelves. Ugh. I quickly fill out the forms to get a better selection of the supplement drink, being careful not to ask for any more of that particular flavor. A poke about reveals that there are few plain juices in stock, so I add a number of those to the list as well. What else? Ani is often on the Devastator and he will have a complete wardrobe stored here. The ‘fresher then. Lots of towels, soap and other necessities. Nothing else to add to the sheet then. I just need to turn it over to one of the Sith Lord’s aides to have it delivered to central stores.

I can still sense the Captain next door, so I busy myself checking out the cooling unit. The jug here is smaller than on the Executor and needs cleaning. A quick scrub and rinse, and I fill it with the strawberry-like flavored drink before returning it to its place in the cooler. What next to do? Look for glasses, I decide. Those are stored above the sink, I quickly discover, along with a second small container which I dump some plain fruit juice in.

Out of chores to do now, I debate wandering into Ani’s office, but interrupting one of his meetings is a bad idea. Time to quietly meditate for a while then. I settle myself on the bed and let myself slip into a light trance. Weird, I think, as I look outside of myself. Hyperspace definitely does strange things to the Force. It doesn’t feel any different though, just looks odd. Maybe Ani can explain that when he has a chance.

‘Ready to go?’ the Sith Lord asks, breaking into my meditations.

My eyes snap open. His meeting must have finally finished. I take the offered hand and slide off the bed. There are two lightsabers at his waist now so my love must have been busy building himself a new one the last week. The old one didn’t take very well to the shower after his trip through Fondor’s steam tunnels.

The salle is a short walk away, and thankfully there are no dueling ‘droids in sight. Now what, I wonder.

‘Come over here,’ Ani orders, motioning me to stand in front of him.

He removes his old lightsaber from his belt and sets my hands on the hilt in the same grip he had shown me many weeks ago. I move my hands and the unlit ‘saber into various positions as he indicates, until Ani takes it to make a few adjustments.

‘This will be both easier and more difficult than training someone with no experience with a blade at all,’ he admits. ‘Easier because you know what you are doing, and harder since you are used to an edged metal weapon. With a lightsaber, you don’t need to worry about blade orientation or striking with the edge.’

The lightsaber is returned to my hands, and the Sith Lord moves to stand in front of me next. He has his new ‘saber in hand and I wonder if we are going to duel or what.

‘What are we going to do?’ I ask him.

‘Just forms,’ he reveals, ‘until you are familiar with the feel of it in your hands. It may take a while for you to get used to a blade without any weight to it. Then I will have you work against a remote for a few days.’

He ignites his new ‘saber and waits for me to do the same. The snap-hiss of the blade startles me, but I don’t let myself jump. I stare at the red blade for a few seconds, then look over at Ani who has set himself into a starting stance. Which form, I wonder for only a moment, before he starts with the simplest one I have seen him use. I mirror his moves, and with each parry, attack, feint or riposte, note how the ‘saber feels in my hands. He was right. Without any sensation of weight, it does feel quite odd. For a second time, he repeats the same form, but much faster. I find it quite difficult to match his speed.

‘Stop,’ he finally orders.

I watch him look at me, and know he is trying to decide what to say.

‘Watch me with your augmented senses,’ Ani instructs.

Alright. I can do that. Curious, I keep my eyes on the Sith Lord as he quickly runs through the form. Somehow he’s using the Force as he does so to increase his speed.

‘What did you discover?’ he asks once he is finished.

‘You are using the Force to control your actions, but I don’t know how,’ I admit.

‘Not quite. I am using the Force, but it is also in a sense using me,’ he tells me.

I give him an odd look. Say what?

‘A demonstration then. Close your eyes,’ he orders.

I obey and a few seconds later my senses scream a warning. Without a conscious effort I snap the lightsaber in my hands into a parry, hear the crack of Ani’s blade against it and feel the impact in my hands. My eyes fly open and I see the two blades in front of me, mine resting against his. Whoa. I did that?

‘Tell me what happened,’ Ani asks.

‘My senses warned me,’ I start and he nods, ‘then I reacted.’ I stop and think a moment, and add, ‘But did I control my actions or did the Force?’

‘Both,’ he answers.

Well that answer didn’t help much, now did it. Time for a think. The Force warned me, so I knew I had to do something. I could have ignored it or chosen to do something different, but instead I allowed the Force to show me what the most effective defense would be and let it guide my hands. So that’s what he meant by both. Then how does that work with the practice forms?

I step back and disengage our ‘sabers. Ani eases into a resting position and silently watches me. A few deep breaths and I close my eyes. The Force is all around me, brushing against my skin, but I don’t reach for it. Instead I let myself relax and slip into a light trance. Sometimes when I practice, I enter an almost transcendental state. Once there, I swing the ‘saber into the first position in the form, feeling the air on my skin as I move, the Force flowing through muscle, nerve, and bone. Time slows down as I speed up. I finish the form, then relax and consider what I just did.

Ani? I ask. Did I do what you did?

A quiet chuckle is his response, then his own question, You understand now?

Yes, is my simple answer.

Good. Then let’s start another form.

The hour goes quickly, and by the end of it, I find that, strangely, I am not tired at all. That was fun, I decide. Maybe he will let me do that again tomorrow. Ani holds out his hand so I set his old lightsaber in it. I know it is not mine to keep or touch outside of this room. It joins its replacement on his belt, and we leave the salle, heading back to the Sith Lord’s quarters, I assume.

What would you like to do now, my Favorite? Ani asks.

You, me, ... I answer, leading him on a little.

And? he questions, and I can feel his curiosity.

... lunch, I finish, teasing him a little as we reach the door to his rooms.

I follow him through the door, and grab the glasses and both containers from the cooling unit. Ani has stopped in his office, checking for any messages, I assume. A moment later he joins me in the bedroom, so I pour out our drinks and wait for the system to adjust the air pressure and oxygen content.

Our lunch is a quiet affair. No need for any long drawn out discussions today. After I finish my allotment of the supplement drink, I fill my glass with the plain juice instead. Ani simply watches me, thinking.

I wonder aloud, ‘What we will do for the rest of the day?’

‘Language lessons,’ Ani announces. ‘You need to learn Sith.’

I try my best not to choke on the mouthful of juice I had just taken. Learn Sith? Somehow I refrain from rolling my eyes. Well there is absolutely no point in asking why or trying to change his mind about this. I have yet to win an argument or get my own way with the Sith Lord. That thought brings a quickly hidden smile to his face.

Stop eavesdropping all the time, I think, knowing he will pick-up on my scolding.

‘Come over here, Favorite, and take off your tunic,’ he orders.

Why? I debate being stubborn for a moment and staying put, but decide that it is just not worth it. I have learned the hard way that Ani will put up with only so much defiance from me before he will do something about it. After rising from my chair, I take the few steps needed to stand beside him, and hastily do as I am told. At least my chest is still covered with the equivalent of a sports bra.

The Sith Lord ignores my obvious embarrassment and proceeds to check the fit of the three gold bands on my arms. I have been acquiring muscle mass the last month, and the one above my elbow on the right is starting to get tight and uncomfortable. Ani sets both his hands on it and does something to it. There is a feeling of heat against my skin as the arm band loosens a little. Better, I think as I give an experimental tug on it. The ones on my wrists are fine, so he leaves them be.

‘I will need to check those regularly,’ my love tells me, ‘but if they start to get tight again, say something and I will adjust the fit for you.’

He returns his attention to his drink, so I replace my tunic. Should I be a bit forward? Why not, I decide. Ani’s in a good mood today. I wait until he has set the glass on the table, then lean over, look into his eyes, and lightly kiss him. When he does not respond, I step back from him, puzzled.

‘Are you annoyed at me?’ I venture.

‘No,’ he answers with a chuckle, ‘I have a better idea.’

‘What?’ I ask curious.

‘You,’ he starts, getting up as he says it, ‘me,’ he adds, drawing beside me, ‘and bed.’ With the last I am grabbed, carried over to the bed and unceremoniously dropped onto it.

A moment later Ani joins me. Instead of fooling around though, it is obvious he has something else in mind. He props himself up against the wall and beckons me over into his arms. Time to curl up next to him, I guess.

‘We need to talk about a few things,’ he decides.

‘Oh, no. Not one of those discussions,’ I grumble unhappily.

I really don’t want to go digging through my shattered memories yet again for whatever information he wants to try and find.

‘Nothing like that,’ he reassures me, ‘but other important matters.’

He pauses for a moment, so I rest my head on his shoulder and wait patiently. A finger slowly traces a path down the side of my face, then his hand shifts to behind my back to hold me to him.

‘You are at a critical point in your training,’ Ani tells me, ‘and I will need to guard you carefully from my negative emotions. Fortunately we will be in hyperspace much of the next two weeks and there should be nothing pressing to deal with at the academy. I can afford to protect you by allowing myself to be content for that length of time.’

I wonder what he means by ‘critical point,’ but give a simple reply of, ‘Thank you, Ani.’

‘Now, my Favorite, your own emotions are also important. You must never let your temper get the better of you,’ he warns. After a kiss to the top of my head, he adds, ‘It is also a good thing that you are more settled into your new life, and at ease and happy with me. This will make it easier for you to avoid being tempted.’

Tempted to do what? I am perfectly happy with how things are. My love is with me and will keep me safe. There is nothing else I could possibly want from life other than to stay at his side, and the other thing I desire the most will be mine soon if I have planned well.

‘Ani, I am happy here with you. There is nothing that could possibly tempt me away from your side,’ I assure him.

‘Tell me what you want then,’ he asks, ‘and be completely honest.’

What do I want? I think hard, carefully considering what I should say to him.

‘I want to stay with you,’ I admit. ‘You know I don’t like it when you are gone.’

‘There is no way to change that,’ Ani once again tells me, then prompts, ‘And what else?’ When I refuse to answer, he adds, ‘You did want to be my wife, Maia.’

‘That is not really important anymore,’ I decide, ‘I already have you, and I will never leave you.’

‘Never?’ he asks.

‘I can’t leave, even if I wanted to,’ I realize. ‘You made sure of that when you ended up bonded to me.’

A chuckle is his response to that observation.

‘You want something else, though, don’t you, my Favorite?’ he continues to press.

I stay quiet, not wanting to tell him my other secret desire.

‘I know you want a child, Maia,’ my love reveals, ‘you made that apparent the first night you were with me on my new flagship.’

‘But I can’t have both,’ I admit, purposefully sounding as miserable as I can, ‘I won’t be allowed to stay with you if I have a child.’

‘And there is no way to change that either,’ he warns.

‘It’s not fair,’ I blurt out.

‘Life isn’t fair. And it looks like you will be forced to make a choice,’ he states.

A choice of either having him or our child. Which really won’t be my decision anyway since I am bound by contract and oath to give him an heir.

‘There is no choice for me, is there, Ani?’ I quietly ask.

‘No, Favorite mine, there isn’t. You will bear my heir eventually and once he is born I will leave you on Vjun where you will be safe,’ he flatly states.

‘Can’t you be reassigned to Imperial Center?’ I hint about. If he were with me I could endure that.

‘Unlikely. I am needed with the fleet,’ he calmly answers, ‘and will be more so once my flagship is finished. Which brings up something else I have meant to ask.’

I think I know what’s coming.

‘Why do you consistently think of my new flagship as the Executor?’ he asks.

‘Isn’t that its name?’ I answer his question with my own.

‘I have not decided on a name yet, so where did the one you use come from?’ he persists in probing for an answer.

I think hard, digging through my memories. Finally, all I can say is, ‘I don’t really know. It just feels right for some reason.’

‘Another odd anomaly then,’ he muses aloud, before falling silent.

He’s thinking again. Time to curl up in a more comfortable position then. I shift myself a little, slip my left hand under my cheek, and drape my right arm around his waist. Much better. With a sigh, I shut my eyes and relax. Ani will start talking again once he has sorted out what he wants to say.

‘Don’t fall asleep on me, Favorite,’ he teases, ‘I still have work for you to do today.’

Tough, I think. It’s comfortable here and a nap sounds like a good idea.

‘Then I will do something to wake you up,’ Ani teasingly threatens.

Not another cold shower. Then again, that did end up turning into a bit of fun. I snuggle in closer and wait. A moment later, I feel a hand slide underneath the back of my tunic, then around and to my side. Somehow I suppress a flinch. Carefully, his fingers run down my side. That’s it, I decide, as I attempt to get away from him. There is a low chuckle from the Sith Lord as he holds me quite firmly in place.

‘I’m not the only ticklish one,’ he observes.

‘Any more of that,’ I threaten, ‘and you will be spending the rest of your life celibate.’

Am I ticklish? Extremely. And I don’t like being tickled either. Even the threat of it is enough to make me cringe.

‘Be careful what you say, concubine. You wouldn’t want to make me angry, now would you?’ Ani warns.

‘No tickling, then,’ I insist. This is something I will definitely be stubborn about.

‘Stubborn about this, are you?’ he asks, and I can tell my attitude is beginning to aggravate him.

‘I don’t like being tickled,’ I flatly state.

That prompts him to flip me onto my back. He holds my hands above my head for a moment, then pins them there with the Force. I fight against it to no avail, knowing exactly what he is planning to do.

‘Ani, don’t, please,’ I plead with him.

The Sith Lord ignores me, removes my belt, and pulls my tunic open. A light touch runs along my left side. He’s using just the tip of one finger yet it produces the desired effect. My body writhes in an attempt to get away from him and I bite down hard on my lower lip. There is no way I am giving him the satisfaction of hearing me shriek. The same technique is applied to my right flank, with exactly the same results. Ani sits back next, watching while I try to get myself under control. Why is he doing this to me?

Apparently not yet satisfied with what he has done, he reaches over again and repeats the same torture. This time I shut my eyes and try not to react at all, but without any success. I feel my lip split, taste the blood in my mouth, and all I can do is hope he will decide he’s had enough fun at my expense and give up soon.

Ani stops for a moment, giving me a short respite, so I inhale deeply while I have the chance. Sure enough, his fingers attack both my sides next. If he keeps this up, I know I will start to throw up. Michael over-tickled me once and that was the final result of it. After another minute, I know I have no choice but to somehow get my love to stop.

Ani, if you don’t stop, I warn him, I will get quite sick.

He ignores me of course, probably assuming that I am bluffing. A few seconds break from his incessant tickling gives me a chance to turn onto my side, away from where he is sitting. When he starts to pull me over onto my back again, I begin to choke as I fight desperately to avoid throwing up.

‘Maia?’ he asks, sounding worried now.

You ought to be satisfied now, I think viciously at him, I will be sick for hours after that.

He releases my hands instantly at that thought, so I shakily get up off the bed and make my way to the ‘fresher, waving away any of his offers of help. Once there, I lock the door, pull off my tunic, and sit on the floor, completely miserable and thoroughly ill. I hate being sick almost as much as I hate being tickled. At least the arrangement of the ‘fresher’s facilities means I can stay in a comfortable position between bouts of nausea. After the second bout, I find a bowl in the cabinet and fill it with cold water. The dry heaves will hit soon if I can’t get this under control and I will need to drink something to prevent that. I hear Ani over-ride the lock on the door, and unfortunately suffer another round of nausea as he looks in. How embarrassing, I can’t help thinking.

‘You weren’t bluffing, were you?’ he observes.

‘What was your first clue?’ I sarcastically retort before starting to get sick yet again. I am in no mood to be the least bit polite.

To give him some credit, the Sith Lord doesn’t just walk away and leave me on my own to be sick for the rest of the afternoon. Instead, he brings me the container of juice and a glass. A few minutes later I hear the bedroom door open, but he quickly returns with some work from his office. Every so often, he silently checks on me, and the empty juice container is refilled without any prompting from me.

When several hours have passed and I still can’t get my nausea under control, I know I have to ask for some help.

Ani, I need your help, I admit, I can’t get it to stop.

I hear the rustle of his cloak and a few quick steps before he is kneeling at my side.

‘You look horrid, my Favorite,’ he comments, turning my face to where he can look at it, ‘as white as the walls in Medical in fact. Rest a minute and I’ll see what I can find.’

He gets to his feet, opens a small compartment, and starts rummaging around in it. After a few minutes it is shut and I hear a package being ripped open. A patch is stuck to my back next, then Ani settles himself on the edge of the bath to watch and wait until the medication takes effect.

What is that stuff? I ask. I am feeling quite dopey and woozy now.

‘Sedative,’ Ani admits. ‘If it doesn’t work, I’ll comm Medical and have someone come up and look after you.’

‘Oh, well, that ought to be fun. I can just imagine their reaction when I tell them why I am sick,’ I say to him ‘Tickled to nausea by a Sith Lord should be one for the medical journals, no doubt.’

‘I will tell them you are with child instead, then,’ Ani teases.

‘Don’t even joke about that, Ani,’ I quietly warn, ‘my mother suffered terribly from pregnancy sickness and so did both of my grandmothers. There is a very good possibility that I will, too.’

That shuts him up about that particular topic. I close my eyes and sit back, resting my back against his legs. His hands touch my hair, gently working through the snarls, while we continue to wait for my stomach to settle. Once my hair is untangled, my love braids it for me, and ties it at the end with a cloth strip he pulls out of a compartment he can reach.

‘You should be fine, now,’ he decides after another ten minutes, ‘but I want you to lie down and rest for a while.’

I am a bit unsteady on my feet, no doubt due to the drug he has used on me. Ani’s arm is wrapped around my back to guide me to the bed. My boots come off, then I am tucked in and left to sleep while the Sith Lord finishes his few remaining tasks for the day.

When I wake, it is much later. The bedroom door is closed again and my love is out of his armor, quietly sitting and working with a datapad at the table. He notices I am awake and beckons me over. I am still a bit wobbly, but make it to the chair across from him.

‘I won’t tickle you again, my Favorite,’ he promises, ‘but in exchange you will not make any more of those sorts of foolish threats.’ A finger is waved at me in emphasis with the last bit.

‘Fair enough,’ I agree.

‘Now, your lessons in Sith. We will start with the spoken tongue first. It will be easier for you to learn that in here, in the evenings, since you will need to see how I pronounce the words,’ Ani explains.

He pours me a glass of supplement, hands it to me and starts a history lesson. ‘The Sith were originally a separate race. It was only much later that the name was used to refer to those who followed their practices. I am not allowed to tell you all of what I know, but it will be useful for you to know some of the history of the Sith wars.’

‘About five thousand years ago, the Sith Lord Marka Ragnos died, and the two rivals to succeed him battled at his funeral...’

I listen, fascinated as Ani tells me how the Sith Empire learned of the Republic’s strengths and weaknesses, and tricked a stranded young woman into leading them back to her homeworld. The political machinations among the Sith are also quite interesting. All that infighting over who would be the Dark Lord. It sounds very much like the maneuvering in the Roman Imperial family. Betrayals and assassinations were all in a day’s work for Naga Sadow.

‘... and that was the start of the great Hyperspace war,’ the Sith Lord finishes.

I look at him expectantly.

‘Aren’t you going to finish the story?’ I ask, curious.

‘Not tonight, my Favorite,’ he teases. ‘Language lesson next.’

This should be interesting. I concentrate a moment, relax, and shift my mind into what I think of as ‘record mode’. Everything my love says, I will remember perfectly when I am in this state. He starts with the Sith alphabet and the various sounds that occur, then moves to simple grammar and a few basic sentences. Every so often he stops and makes me repeat back what I have just been told.

‘You have perfect recall?’ he finally questions.

‘I can store things accurately only if I concentrate like I am now,’ I admit.

‘Good. Listen carefully and I will give you a fairly extensive vocabulary to work with,’ he explains.

Ani spends an hour rapidly giving me a long list of words in Sith along with their meanings in Basic. When finished, he has me repeat some of what he told me, so I am careful with my pronunciation. There is no way I want to make any foolish mistakes here. After that, he only speaks in Sith, forcing me to puzzle out what he says. Any reply not in that language or with a blatant mistake in it earns me a sharp mental rap, so I am careful to take my time when I need to. Finally, he decides that it is enough for the evening.

>Time to rest, Maìá,< he tells me in Sith.

He offers a hand and I willingly set mine in his. I am led to the bed, then carefully lifted and laid down on it. A moment later Ani is beside me, so I happily run my fingers through his hair and down his cheeks. His blue eyes are calm, peaceful, for the first time at bedtime in weeks. There is little stress for me to ease from him tonight. Instead, I just try to relax him. When my fingers brush his lips, he playfully catches them in his teeth.

>Favored one, she who is mine,< Ani teases.

>Sith Lord, he whom is mine,< I respond.

That produces a chuckle, and a correction, ‘Not quite, Maia. You should have said this...’

Irked, I set my lips on his to shut him up.

No more lessons, tonight, Ani, I scold.

Perhaps a lesson of a different sort? he suggests.

Maybe, I tease.

I keep my kiss gentle and undemanding, then take my lips from his. Feeling playful, I trace a path with light kisses across his cheek up to his forehead, down the other cheek and back to his lips. Maybe I could be a bit bold tonight. I lay my arms across his chest, careful of the control box on it, and rest my chin atop them. For a while I just watch Ani looking at me, then I free my right hand and run a finger down the side of his neck. He makes no move to stop me, so I continue its journey down to below his collarbones before stopping. What to do next?

Get into my nightgown, I decide, then play a bit. I leave his side and pull the item in question from my trunk. Should I change in the ‘fresher? Too much trouble, so instead I keep my back to him, pull off my bra, drag the nightgown on, then remove my trousers once I am safely covered. I hear an amused laugh behind me as I do this.

‘Fine, Sith Lord, laugh,’ I scold him. ‘Just remember I know a few embarrassing things about you, too.’

‘Like what?’ Ani asks, sitting up to watch me and obviously curious now.

I smile wickedly and stalk towards the bed. Once on it, I purposefully crawl over and sit beside him.

‘You’re ticklish, aren’t you, especially on the ear,’ I note with a wicked grin. ‘I bet you’re sensitive elsewhere, too, and I suspect I know exactly where to try.’

‘Don’t even think about doing that, concubine,’ he threatens.

‘Why not? I thought you would want me to touch you,’ I tease.

‘Only if you will behave yourself,’ he warns.

With that, I cautiously touch his chest. I can feel the muscles under the skin, old scars on the surface, and heat emanating from his body. Letting my fingers travel, I discover than much of his chest and stomach, like his back, are badly, heavily scarred. I am careful to avoid the cable connecting the control box to the devices inside his body which enable him to breathe. My hands push his robe open, let it fall away from him so I can caress his arms and back, while I note where cybernetics start, below and above his elbows, and flesh ends.

He is powerfully built, his chest heavily muscled, and there is not one excess pound anywhere. I wrap my arms around him and rest my cheek against his chest for a moment, noting just how big his frame really is. Of my immediate family, only my youngest sibling is comparable in size and fitness level, though my father and brothers approach the Sith Lord in height. Michael would have been a good match for him, I finally realize; they would have looked almost eye to eye in fact. Now there would have been an interesting duel to see.

What to do next? I want to explore his body some more, but before going further, I push him, unresisting, back onto the pillows and pull the sheets over us both. I am not going to look, no way, just let my fingers slide along the outside of his legs. More cybernetics, but his legs above his knees are his own.

My dearest love, I wonder, what happened to you that you were left in such a state?

He doesn’t answer, and I will never press the question. When he is ready, he will tell me, if he ever decides I should know that particular tale. I curl up to Ani at last, pull myself close to him and quietly send him soothing, comforting thoughts.

I love you, dear heart, I tell him.

Even though I am more than half-machine? Ani asks. Even though I am scarred?

It doesn’t matter, beloved, I reassure him. The soul and heart are more important. In the end, the body is nothing but a shell.

Silence from him, so I continue my quiet emotional support.

***

It doesn’t matter to her that I am scarred.

It doesn’t matter that I am half-machine.

It doesn’t matter that I am a Sith Lord.

Nothing matters to her except that she loves me.

Acceptance and overwhelming love.

No one else has ever done that. Felt that for me. Not since before I was injured. Not since …Padme.

Maia deserves far more from me than what I have given her. Than what I can give her.

And I need to tell her how I really feel.

***

Finally, a hand catches mine, brings it to his lips for a gentle kiss. Then he shifts me onto my side, holds me to his chest, and I know it is time to go to sleep.

Not yet, Ani decides, I need to talk to you a moment.

I feel a kiss on the back of my neck and his hands pull me tightly to him. His indecision is painfully obvious to me. He’s having a terrible time deciding whether or not to tell me whatever it is. In the end, he stays silent, still warring with himself.

Tell me another time, I suggest, it’s late and we are both tired.

I am awake long after he slips into slumber, wondering what could possibly have divided his soul to the point that he couldn’t bring himself to tell me it.

The Devastator, Carida, Caridan system. Year 0.

SECOND HOLIDAY OF THE YEAR

Carida. Site of the premier military academy in the Empire. My reading assignments for the last few days have covered the history and training programs of this place. My Lord has spent the last few hours in his office preparing an address to the current graduating class. Some of the top newly commissioned officers will be joining the Executor at Fondor - the ones he has personally selected based on their records and recommendations from their instructors. While I am curious about this planet which has as many diverse environments as Earth, I will not ask to see it. The only time I made such a request, only a few days ago, it was refused and I do not wish to annoy the Sith Lord further. So I will content myself with the images on the data terminal and the brief glimpse I caught of Carida from the command deck when the ship exited from hyperspace this morning.

I have just finished the latest text assigned to me so I set aside the printout and think about its contents. A report on smuggling activities in the Rim Territories, an area the Empire is still not in complete control of.

The Dark Lord is wrapped up in his own work and does not notice that I have completed my task. Suppressing a sigh, I pull the six pennies I have out of my pocket and set them on the desk. The only time I am allowed to practice with the Force is in my love’s presence and I use every available opportunity to do so. Reaching out with my senses, I touch the Force and carefully use it to stack the pennies, one on top of the other. Bored with this simple task, I lift them in the air and let them spin graceful circles above my hand. Two weeks ago this would have been a struggle for me to do, but my skills and control have increased dramatically since Ani took me from Earth over a month ago. I still have no idea what he intends to do with me once my training is complete, and our relationship - well, I try not to think about it too much when he is near just in case my musings upset him.

I steal a glance over at him and see that he is still absorbed in what he is doing. With a careful touch, I enforce my mental shields, blocking out any casual perusal he might make of my mind. This is one of the few times I have had the opportunity to evaluate what I feel in his presence and I want to use it fully. The Sith Lord has never pressed me for a decision, never imposed his desires on me since that first day I was on the Executor; he has been a perfect gentleman in fact. With every passionate kiss and occasional intimate caress, he has always been careful to never push for more than what I was willing to offer. Perhaps our physical relationship has progressed quite slowly compared to what he might want, but he has never said that this is the case. Emotionally, well, I love him as much now, if not more than I did then, and while he will never express it openly, I know the sentiment is mutual, if deeply buried and carefully hidden on his part. And otherwise? The Dark Lord has proven to be an exceptionally patient teacher and good, if sometimes temperamental, friend.

We are quite comfortable with one another now, and can discuss and debate any topic save one. I shut my eyes at this thought. I love him deeply, dearly, yet I still find it difficult, even so, to yield my body, my self, to him in the most intimate of ways.

You have made this decision, I scold myself, made it two weeks ago in fact. Tonight, then, after the ceremonies are over at the academy and he returns to the ship. If I want a child as soon as possible it must be tonight. I will settle my mind with meditation while he is gone, and try to prepare myself for anything he might want from me. Satisfied with my choice, I feel an intense sense of relief. Now, I just hope that he will accept it.

Letting my shields thin, I consider what to try next with my pennies. I position one on its edge and start it spinning. The next one I set on its edge on top of the first and rotate it in the opposite direction. By the time I have added the last one to the stack, alternating the spin of each penny as I go, I am completely focused on my task.

‘Good, very good. Your fine control of the Force has become most impressive. You have a gift for delicate work,’ my love praises. ‘One day you may exceed my own abilities in this area.’

I call the pennies back to my hand and push them around in it for a minute or so before returning them to my pocket. When should I tell him, of my decision, I wonder? Now or later? Nervous and unsure of myself, I hesitate, then put it off.

‘Ani,’ I tell him, ‘I have finished with the smuggling report if you have any questions for me.’

‘Later, Maia,’ he decides, ‘it’s time for our meal before I must go planetside.’

His statement puzzles me. This is the first time he has not asked me about a reading assignment immediately when he has been on ship. Breaks from routine usually indicate trouble. Or could he be up to something?

Ani heads from his office to our private quarters, with me close behind. After a quick stop in the kitchen for glasses and a jug of the protein supplement we share, we enter the bedroom and he starts the cycle to adjust the air to his specific requirements. I place the glasses and jug on the table and seat myself in one of the two chairs while he removes helmet, mask, and vocoder, and takes the other one. Once settled, I hand him a filled glass before claiming the other for myself.

‘Maia,’ he notes, ‘there is something bothering you. What is it?’

He knows, I realize, because I wasn’t careful enough in how I was guarding myself earlier. ‘I....,’ I begin, then fall silent. How am I supposed to disclose what I have decided without sounding foolish? Somehow saying it bluntly seems crude and tasteless.

Maia, he sends with a thought, what is wrong?

Nothing’s wrong, I answer in kind, I just sort of.... This is getting me nowhere. My innate shyness mocks me now and I just can’t bring myself to tell him.

Show me then, if you can’t tell me, he offers.

That’s even worse. I can’t do that. It would be far too embarrassing to say the least. Miserable at my inability to express myself, I keep my eyes firmly on the table. My love gets up from his chair now and moves to my side. His hands gently cup my face as he turns me to look up at him.

‘My Favorite,’ he soothes, ‘it’s alright. You can tell me anything. I promise I won’t be upset with you.’

I reflexively bite my lip. Big mistake. He knows I only do that when whatever is bothering me is personal and usually something to do with our relationship. Best just to get it out rather than have him drag it from me.

Thinning my shields to almost nothing so he can easily read me, I give him my news.

Ani, my love, I have made my decision. Tonight, it will be tonight.

He is silent, staring at me in surprise, then a look of acceptance appears and his eyes brighten.

Maia, are you sure about this? Are you sure you are ready? I will wait if you want more time.

I am sure, my love, I affirm, committed to my choice even though he has given me a way to postpone it further.

My Lord bends over me now, his hands move from my face to my waist as he pulls me to my feet. His kiss is gentle, tender, and undemanding. The moment is poignant and I let myself melt against him. We stay wrapped in one another’s arms for a time, neither wanting to break away.

Finally, he pulls back from me, asking, ‘It’s your birthday today, isn’t it?’

‘What?’ I respond, then work out the date in my head, and discover that he is right about it. So this is what he is up to.

‘You told me when it was on your world and I worked out the date on the Imperial calendar for your citizenship,’ Ani reveals. ‘Close your eyes. I have something for you.’

He sounds like a little kid, I think, with some sort of mischief on the go, but I comply without hesitation, curious to see what he could possibly have for me. I hear him go to one of the storage compartments and retrieve something from inside of it. A moment later, he takes my hand and wraps it around something metallic.

‘Happy Birthday,’ he wishes me, and gives me a kiss on the forehead.

I open my eyes and look down.

‘Ani,’ I say, ‘oh, Ani. You made this for me?’

‘Do you like it?’ he asks me.

‘Of course I like it!’

I can’t help myself and kiss him quickly on the cheek. With an expert eye, I begin to examine his gift. He has built it for my small hands, I note, and cleverly set the blade controls where I can’t accidentally change them. The grip is more silver than black, and an inset pattern of black Celtic knotwork circles the base. He must have remembered that from the painting in my apartment. Setting my hands in a proper grip, I check the balance and notice he has set it precisely where it is best for me. With a touch I ignite the blade. Red, of course, and expertly adjusted already. When the Sith Lord has the time, I will have to try it out in the salle, I decide as I shut it off and carefully hook it on my belt.

My love has watched my reaction with pleased amusement. Once I have put my new lightsaber in its proper place, I wrap my arms around him and let out a contented sigh.

‘Thank you Ani, it was the perfect Birthday present.’

His answering chuckle echoes in his chest which my ear is resting against.

‘You’re welcome. Now, do you want your second present?’

More? I wonder what else he has been up to.

‘Yes!’ I tell him, sounding like a kid myself.

‘Finish your drink then, and I will take you to it.’

The Dark Lord returns to his chair, finishes his own allotment of the protein mix and waits patiently for me to pour the extra half glass I need at lunch now that I spend several hours a day in the gym and salle. While I am draining it, he replaces his helmet and resets the room’s environmental controls.

‘Ready?’ I am asked, and I answer by playfully catching his hand in mine.

We stop in his office a moment so he can retrieve the datapad with the convocation address he has prepared, and he leads me out of our quarters, down towards the hangar where his shuttle is waiting. My Lord does not head to the shuttle when we enter the docking bay, but to the rack where his TIE is stored. Puzzled now, I follow after him, assuming that he has decided to take his fighter instead of the other ship. He doesn’t stop at his TIE though, but at the one beside it, an identical prototype fighter but with grey rather than black markings.

He calls the helmet which is resting on top of the fighter to his hand, sets it on my head and secures it under my chin. Knowing we are in a public place, I am careful to properly address him.

‘My Lord,’ I tell him, ‘I don’t understand.’ Ani, what are you doing?

‘Your designation is Grey 1, my Favorite. This is your fighter,’ he reveals. It was delivered a week ago, before we left Fondor, but I thought it best to wait and give you another Birthday surprise. We will fly down to the academy together.

Ani, are you crazy? I scold. I have only flown in sims, never a real ship.

You’ll be fine. I will coach you if you need it, he reassures me. The weapons are disabled, so you won’t have any unexpected accidents.

I flinch at that last bit. My reputation as a miserable shot has obviously made its way to his ears.

No more arguing, Maia, he orders. Get in. I don’t want to be late.

Since I am not being given a choice in the matter, I climb up and into the cockpit, tuck my cloak around myself before I strap in, and begin the preflight checks and power up. Most TIEs require a fully contained flight suit, but Ani’s and this one must have an environmental system on board.

I carefully look at the control panel. Now I know why the only configuration I was taught was for this particular fighter. The Sith Lord had planned this weeks ago. The comm-channel activates and I hear Ani requesting clearance for both of us. A moment later his fighter is heading out of the hangar with mine a respectful distance behind. Flying is not my problem in the sims. Hitting enemy ships is.

We fly clear of the Devastator and the Dark Lord slows, allowing me to catch up with him. I instinctively position my TIE behind and to his right, acting as his wingman.

Reaching out to him, I wonder, Ani, is this why you love to fly so much? The freedom of all space around you?

Freedom and the challenge, he answers. In battle there is always a risk, but I enjoy it nonetheless. Now, you managed to get out of the hangar in one piece, so what is the problem in the sims?

I can’t hit the broadside of a Star Destroyer, or rather, that’s exactly what I do, I admit. In battle, I would be a menace to both sides.

Practice, my Favorite, more practice, but I think there is more to your problem than that.

Why does he always know when there is more to something than what I am willing to tell him?

Our bond, he chastises, you can’t hide things for long because of it. Your emotions eventually leak through to me. So, talk to me about it.

Irked by how easily he is reading me, I nudge my shields up a notch and receive a sharp mental rap from the Sith Lord for doing so.

Don’t. Now start talking before I get annoyed with you. I dislike having to drag things from you that should be openly discussed.

I have never harmed anyone in my life and the idea of killing someone - I just can’t bring myself to do it, not even in the sims.

That explains why your target scores are as high as they are yet your kill ratings are abysmal. Maia, if you fly in battle, you will eventually be forced to kill or be killed. There is no halfway, no middle ground, no room to hesitate or make choices. Think on this for a while, and then talk to me again about it.

While I am trying to come up with a response, I hear ground control over the comm, directing us to a landing area in the heart of the academy campus. I fall back a safe distance and wait for the Sith Lord to land before setting my own craft down next to his. My helmet comes off easily and I lay it on the control panel in front of me. Pulling myself out of the cockpit, I quickly see that the Ani is waiting for me on the ground below.

Hurry up and jump down, he impatiently orders, I will catch you.

I hastily obey, and fall faster and harder against him than I expect due to the higher than normal gravity. Once on the ground I am rewarded with the briefest of necessary embraces as he catches me. This has become a game for me, to steal a forbidden touch or moment when in public. Ani has not corrected my behavior, but I am also careful not to push things too far. Sometimes I think he plays the game along with me, as he does now, if it fits his mood.

The academy’s Commandant is waiting to meet us with the senior members of his staff. My arm bands are covered by my tunic, so the obvious indicators of my rank are hidden from sight.

Nonetheless, I am recognized by the Commandant, who greets us, ‘Lord Vader, my lady, we are honored that you have chosen to attend this year’s graduation ceremonies. If you would follow me, my Lord, I have had your suite made ready for your Favorite.’

I wonder what he means by that, but Ani has set my hand on his arm and is pulling me along after the Commandant. In a minute or so, the Sith Lord is busy discussing the new Storm Commando unit with Colonel Crix Madine, its just appointed commander. Not sure what to do, I just walk quietly at my love’s side and look about as we go. The architecture of the citadel is almost medieval in style, reminiscent of a castle. Since it is convocation day, there are flags and military style decorations on every building. Stormtroopers are posted everywhere I look and not one cadet is out of dress uniform.

Our small group is getting plenty of attention, I quickly see, and I am sure that I am the subject of much discussion once we are out of earshot. How often does Darth Vader show up with a woman on his arm? The publicity about our match and the lack of any personal information about me in the media must have everyone bursting with curiosity. I do my best to ignore the barely disguised stares I am getting from almost everyone we pass. It is a relief when the Commandant leads us up a flight of wide stone stairs and into a large, stone building.

My eyes take a moment to adjust once we are inside, and I find myself being led along a short hallway into a huge open chamber. This must be where the ceremony will be held. We are only in it for a moment before entering another passage. A few minutes later, and we are standing in a large room with floor to ceiling windows looking into an enclosed courtyard along one side. The Commandant’s office, I assume when I see him pick up some papers from the desk. He quickly dismisses the officers who accompanied him, then calls in his aide.

‘My Lord, if you like, my aide will see that your Favorite is taken to your quarters,’ the Commandant offers.

I feel Ani stiffen beside me. He doesn’t like that at all, I decide. Unsure of myself, I glance up at my love, then over at the academy’s head and back to Ani.

Shouldn’t it be safe enough here? I ask the Sith Lord.

Nowhere except at my side is safe enough for you, he insists.

Well, he obviously wants to talk to you in private, and I am in the way, I decide.

I look out into the courtyard. Maybe he will let me go out there.

Ani, ... I start a suggestion, but he has already picked up on it.

Good idea, Maia, he decides.

‘Commandant, is the only access into the courtyard from your office?’ the Sith Lord asks.

The man looks quite surprised at that question.

‘Yes, my Lord, it is,’ he answers, sounding a bit puzzled, ‘the other doors were blocked off years ago after one of Solo’s infamous pranks.’

Ani turns his attention to me, and orders, ‘Maia, go practice ‘saber forms in the courtyard for a while.’

The Commandant gallantly opens the glass door for me, so I step through and have a quick walk around. A few geometric gardens are the only source of color, and the lone tree looks rather sad and neglected. I take off my cloak and set it aside on one of the two benches. A glance over at the office I just came from reveals that Ani is keeping an eye on me as he talks with the head of the academy.

Calming myself, I take my new lightsaber, set my hands in a proper grip and ignite it. Simplest form first, I decide. I swing the ‘saber into the first attack, step sideways as I move into a parry. The Force powers my moves and I quickly lose myself in the patterns. By the time I am nearly finished, I have run through all but one of the forms I know, and Ani is still busy in his meeting.

Well, I saved my favorite one for last. Show-off time, then. A deep breath and I start the last form, mindful to keep the changes in blade direction as crisp as when my love performs it. The air whistles past my ears as I spin. Totally cool. No wonder he likes this particular one so much.

‘Not bad,’ I hear a voice call.

Who was that? I look around, trying to see who made the compliment, but there is no one obviously in sight.

‘So you must be his Lordship’s new pet,’ the same voice comments.

This time I narrow the location a bit. Looking up and above the Commandant’s office, I can see a small window. There is no one visible there, but that must be where they were watching me from.

‘I am no one’s pet,’ I snap.

‘Temper, temper,’ the voice scolds. ‘He must be training you as a Sith.’

I bite my tongue. No way I am going to get drawn into an argument with someone I don’t know. Instead, I give a disgusted snort, shut off my ‘saber and retrieve my cloak. Time to meditate a bit. The bench under the tree should be okay, so I wander over to it, sit down cross-legged on it and start to center myself.

A laugh from my mysterious observer quickly follows, then the comment, ‘You’re a little Jedi, aren’t you?’

Go away, I think at her. I want to meditate in peace and quiet.

She merely laughs louder, then states, ‘Lord Vader has a pet Jedi, then.’

I do my best to ignore her.

‘Or perhaps you are more than just a pet?’ she taunts.

No way am I going to let myself react to that. I nudge my shields up a notch and keep my face a calm mask.

Ani, I call and wait for his response.

I’m in a meeting, don’t bother me, he scolds.

No help to be had there. I decide to listen with the Force as he taught me to, and hear whispers where the voice was coming from. So there are several of them. Interesting. At least four in addition to the one doing the talking from the sounds of things. Maybe they need a lesson.

I look around for something I can use. That pail full of water will be perfect. Up you go bucket, I think at it as I move it carefully into position with the Force. Holding it above the window, I decide to provoke my tormentor into revealing herself.

‘If you want an answer, you need to show yourself,’ I call.

More whispers next. I hear their decision and somehow keep my smile under wraps. A moment later a girl, a brunette with dark eyes and a smirk, has swung the window wide. Teenagers. How typical. The instant she leans out, I tip the bucket. The resulting shriek is music to my ears. She promptly disappears, and I hear her screaming for her father. Oops. Maybe soaking her wasn’t such a good idea after all. I quickly return the bucket to its place.

Ani is not going to be very happy about this. I let out a sigh. My temper has got me in trouble yet again. A moment later I see my teenage tormentor in the Commandant’s office. Please don’t tell me that brat belongs to him. Ani turns and looks straight at me.

Maia, you didn’t, he asks me.

You were busy and she needed a lesson in manners, I insist. There were four others with her. Do you want their names?

Tell me, he orders.

Raith, Miko, Tornik and Iella. The Commandant’s darling was the ring leader though, I reveal.

I watch Ani turn back towards the Commandant who is obviously rather incensed. Well, until his daughter’s co-conspirators are named. From the look on both their faces they didn’t expect that bit of information to come out. I wonder how much mischief her little gang has got away with because she has protected the others.

Come in here, Ani orders.

Reluctantly, I get to my feet and head to the door. I suspect I will be told to apologize to the brat. Ani opens the door for me and I step into the room. The girl looks quite sullen and if her lip were stuck out any farther she would trip on it.

‘Kira,’ the Commandant orders, ‘you will apologize for your behavior.’

She stays silent and glares at me. Didn’t like getting caught, now did you?

‘No, I won’t,’ she whines, ‘and you can’t make me either.’

‘Kira!’ her father exclaims in shock.

>My Lord,< I say in Sith, >I think she needs a second lesson in manners. Shall I?<

>Let me do it this time,< he decides.

The Commandant goes a bit pale and looks over at his stubborn child. He must recognize the language, I decide, and has jumped to all the wrong conclusions about what we just said to one another. I watch Ani take a step towards the teenager.

‘My Lord, she’s just a child,’ the academy head tries to plead.

‘A child who needs an overdue lesson in manners,’ Ani flatly states, continuing to stalk towards her.

A child who has just bolted for the door, I wryly observe.

Let her go, my love, I ask him when he moves to stop her. At her age it is impossible to correct in a few minutes bad behavior as ingrained as hers obviously is.

‘I will take my Favorite to my quarters, now,’ Ani decides, then coldly warns, ‘And if you value your daughter at all, Commandant, lock her up until after we have left.’

He leads me out of the office, around a corner, then up a flight of stairs to the next floor. His rooms are at the end of the hallway, and the wooden door opens easily at his touch. Not bad, I think as I look about. The main room has a few comfy chairs and a couch in front of a window looking out over the valley the academy is located by. I am steered into the bedroom to the left, so I guess his office is to the right. As on ship, the ‘fresher is off of the bedroom.

‘I use this suite during the day,’ Ani reveals, ‘but without an environmental system, I rarely stay overnight unless it is absolutely necessary.’

I nod at his comment and look about the room. Ani opens the closet and beckons me over.

‘I had an appropriate gown for you to wear to the ceremonies sent here. You can change whenever you like. Colonel Madine will be stopping by to speak with me shortly, so that might be a good time,’ he suggests.

‘You aren’t angry about what I did earlier?’ I question. Best to get this discussion out of the way.

‘Angry? No, of course not,’ Ani tells me, and I can sense he’s rather amused by the whole incident. ‘That daughter of his has always been rather spoilt. Fortunately it was you, not me, she decided to taunt. I would have done far worse than dumping a bucket of water on her and the Commandant knows that.’

I hear the Colonel announce his presence over the comm. Time for me to get dressed and Ani to have yet another meeting. With a touch, I close the bedroom door and take the dress from the closet. Sleeveless and black, of course, so that no one can mistake who I am. I lay the fabric against my body. Reasonably full skirts and a semi-fitted bodice. Nice soft material, too.

You have good taste when picking things out for me, Ani, I compliment him.

Thank you, Favorite mine, he comments, before returning his concentration to his meeting.

I replace the gown in the closet and run a bath for myself. The water feels good after working out for as long as I did so I let myself relax and daydream a bit. When I wake from my doze, the water is cold. Oops. Time to get ready. It takes only a few minutes to finish dressing, then I settle in to wait for my love to tell me what to do next.

While I wait, I look at myself in the mirror hanging on the wall. I don’t appear that much different than a month ago - a few more muscles is the most obvious change. My hair is in waves, falling around my face and down my back; I have no way to pin it up or back.

Have I changed that much inside, I wonder. Ani has definitely changed my behavior. No more excessive stubborn streak or outbreaks of temper since my love will not put up with either of those from me. I am far more guarded in how I act and what I say, too, a lesson learned the hard way thanks to Mia. And in other things? I love him deeply, to the point where it underlies my every waking moment, but is that an effect of our bond? Thirsk once told me the original function of the soul-bond on his homeworld was to bind mates permanently together.

I put a finger to my cheek and watch my reflection do the same. Love has led me to where I am now. But what if I had not loved Ani in return and told him so? Would he still have taken me with him? What if he had left me on Earth? Would I still have a job? What would have happened to me? My mirror image has no answers for me, so I close my eyes and continue to quietly wait.

‘Busy musing, my Favorite?’ Ani asks me when he steps into the room.

‘Questions without answers, might-have-been’s that never were,’ I admit.

I feel his hand under my chin, tipping my face upwards, so I open my eyes and smile at him. My Ani, my love, I am happy today. I hear a low chuckle emerge from the Sith Lord. He’s thinking about tonight, no doubt. A second quiet laugh comes at that thought and I blush a little. So I was right about that, I decide, and go a bit redder. Maybe I should be more careful with what I am thinking.

‘I have an errand or two to deal with, Maia, but I want to give you something first,’ Ani tells me, then orders, ‘Close your eyes.’

Another present? What now?

A cold metal necklace touches the skin around my throat. It’s quite heavy I note as he hooks it on and adjusts how it falls. Earrings next, then I open my eyes at his caress against my cheek. I take his offered hand and let him pull me to my feet. Arms wrap around me from behind, then I am turned to face the mirror. Oh. Wow. I run my fingers along the necklace, stopping them when I reach the single large stone in the center.

‘Where did you find something that matches the color of my eyes?’ I ask.

‘You need a few pieces of jewelry to match your rank, my Favorite,’ Ani states. ‘I had this made for you. The stone was a gift from someone so long ago that I can’t even remember who gave it to me.’

‘Stay with me a few minutes, please,’ I ask.

‘Only a short while, then I must go,’ he concedes.

I lean back into his chest and rest my hands on top of his. He responds by holding me close. Does he really know and understand how much I love him? Brushing against his shields with my senses, I decide to be bold.

Ani, I whisper mentally to him, just feel for a moment.

I focus myself, then let my love for him radiate outwards, holding nothing back at all. Ani’s breathing breaks in its pattern, so I know he has felt my silent message to him.

Maia, don’t, please, he asks.

Confused, I stop what I had been doing. What’s wrong, I wonder. Have I upset him?

‘I must go,’ Ani abruptly announces. He lets go of me and quickly walks away, so I follow him into the other room and watch while he stands, back to me, staring out the window in silence.

***

She loves me with all her soul and being. Force save me, she truly does.

How could I be so blind?

I now see it radiating out from her skin, hear it in every word she says to me, feel it .... how I feel it when she is near.

Maia, my beloved little goddess. Do you know what a precious gift you have just given me?

Yet this is unfortunate. Terribly unfortunate.

This is no childish infatuation, no simple romance, no love existing in an act on the surface.

This cannot be concealed from or be ignored by my master. He will know the instant that he sees her.

How unfortunate he would not let me have her as my wife, for surely no concubine could be expected to ever feel this deeply for me, Darth Vader, the one she is bound to, without receiving something in return.

There is no help for it now. And only two choices.

Do nothing and risk all, or ...

***

Ani? What did I do wrong? I ask him.

He stays silent and I know I have interrupted his meditation. I back away, put a hand to my mouth and flee back into the bedroom. Stupid, Maia, he will be angry about that. You know better than to bother him when he is in this sort of mood. Ani leaves me be, though, and instead of scolding, simply exits his suite without a word.

Eventually I return to the main room, drop into one of the chairs, and stare out the window. I could meditate, but I am far too confused at the moment to try that. Why did he run away from me? Surely he knew how I felt for him already, and he told me himself that my love for him didn’t matter, that the Emperor wouldn’t care one bit about it. It must be something else then that upset him. I let out a frustrated sigh. Every time I think I have the man figured out, he turns around and does something strange and unexpected.

The sun is directly above us now. Midday on the planet, but suppertime for us on the Devastator. My stomach growls and I ignore it. Soon Ani will return, I hope, then take me to the ceremonies. I hear the comm chime and answer it without getting out of my chair.

‘Commander Thirsk,’ my Commando friend announces.

A wave of my hand and the door opens. I stay in my seat, knowing who is there, but still with my ‘saber in hand just in case.

‘My lady,’ Thirsk scolds, ‘opening a door without checking the identity of who is behind it is not wise.’

‘I knew it was you,’ I tell him, without turning around to look, ‘You have a distinctive signature in the Force.’

That produces a snort from him. The Commander is a bit of a cynic when it comes to the Force, but he is quite aware of what Ani can do if he wants to. I glance back at Thirsk, then wave him towards the chair across from me. Has my love sent him over to guard me?

‘I have reviewed the potential aides and bodyguards for you,’ Thirsk reveals, after moving the chair to where he can act as my guard.

‘And?...’ I lead him into an explanation.

‘I am not at all impressed,’ he states, sounding a bit disgusted. ‘The ones at the top of the class I wouldn’t trust as far as I can throw them, and the others, well.... His Lordship would not approve of any less than the best.’

I sit back and consider his words. The women officers I encountered on the Executor were quite a cutthroat bunch. If those were the best, I would rather not have them anywhere near me. Maybe he should take a second look at the also-rans.

‘Commander, why not look at some of the women with a solid but not stellar record? You can always train them up to your standards,’ I suggest.

He gives me one of his patented sour looks.

‘It was only a suggestion,’ I add, ‘and it won’t hurt to take a look.’

‘Very well, my lady, since you insist, but his Lordship will have the final say,’ Thirsk warns.

I watch him get up and head for the door. The view through the window is spectacular, so I lose myself in it. After a considerable time, I let out an exasperated sigh. Between the Commander’s fussing and Ani’s odd behavior I am almost at my wit’s ends. Men can be such a nuisance sometimes.

Oh, am I a nuisance then, Favorite? Ani teases.

Sometimes, I admit, teasing him some more.

I hear the door open behind me, his footsteps approaching my chair.

Beloved, I call to him.

Favorite mine, he replies.

His hands slide around my neck from behind. I catch one of them in mine and lightly hold it. He’s in a better mood now, I sense, quite content actually, so I tip my head back and smile up at him.

‘You need to eat something,’ he notes.

That makes me laugh a little.

‘You are a fuss budget,’ I tease. ‘I remember you sending me to my apartment to eat something. But you had to endure days without anything at all except the i.v. I gave you, and today you won’t have anything more until we return to the Devastator.’

‘It wasn’t that bad, Maia,’ he reassures me, ‘but I did drop a bit of weight nonetheless during my stay on your homeworld. You, on the other hand, have the very bad habits of skipping meals and not eating enough. Now come along. Colonel Madine has offered us, or more accurately you, lunch in his quarters. I plan on going through the stack of cadet files Thirsk gave me a few minutes ago while you eat.’

I take Ani’s hand and let myself be led back along the same path we followed earlier. Soon we are outside the building and heading into the one next door. The Colonel’s living quarters are on the ground floor, and he quickly ushers us in and introduces himself to me. He’s not a very big man for a Commando, and his features are angular like Nigel’s. If he dyed his light red hair and beard black, I decide, Madine could almost be my former colleague’s younger brother.

Ani takes a seat at one end of the table, setting the files in front of him. Madine is the perfect host, ensuring I am comfortably seated before bringing two plates of hot food from his small kitchen. What is it, I wonder, but don’t ask. One of Mia’s lessons was on proper table manners, so I know how to behave and the order all the various implements are used in. The Colonel, though, has set a simple table - one knife, fork and spoon, and a glass of my favorite juice to go with lunch.

I wait until Madine has seated himself and started into his own food before doing the same. It feels decidedly odd to have a proper meal after a month of sharing Ani’s supplement drink. The Colonel is a good cook, I quickly decide.

This is actually pretty tasty, whatever it is, I tell Ani.

Nerf steak and whatever the local vegetables are, Ani identifies for me after he gives my plate a quick glance.

Thank you, my love, I reply.

‘My lady, I am curious what your homeworld is,’ Madine states, ‘since I cannot place your accent.’

Small talk time, I guess. Good thing Ani and I decided how to handle this touchy question a while ago, after he had to stick Earth on the galactic charts. Too bad he had to give home false co-ordinates, though. No one here would ever believe I came from another galaxy.

‘Gaea, in the Solar system, Colonel. In the unknown regions far beyond the Koornacht Cluster. The only hyperspace route is unfortunately impassable at the moment due to a nearby nova,’ I tell him.

‘In an area of space virtually unexplored then,’ he notes. ‘Close to Adumar, perhaps?’

Ani, help! I prompt, panicking a bit.

‘No, Colonel, well beyond Phu and N’zoth actually,’ the Sith Lord reveals, rescuing me.

Madine sits back, thinking, then looks over at my love before asking, ‘How did you ever find the place, then, my Lord?’

‘Nav computer malfunction, and a bit of luck,’ Ani admits, setting the last of the files to the side. ‘My Favorite helped with the repairs to my ship before I brought her back here.’

Good. They can talk for a while so I can finish eating.

‘The news reports I saw suggested your Favorite is well connected on her homeworld,’ Madine says, hinting around for information, no doubt.

‘She is a Princess, a daughter from one of their royal houses, true...’ my love starts.

I start to choke on a mouthful of nerf steak. Ani, I warn, but he ignores me. I grab the glass of juice and take a few sips to cover my reaction. Control, Maia, you are going to need it here.

‘... and her family is highly placed in their military, an uncle controls much of their strategic assets in fact. Her older brother was a Jedi...’

No, Ani, stop exaggerating things, I think at him.

‘... who was killed several years ago in a tragic accident. Everyone I met who knew him spoke quite highly of him as a swordsman. He would have made a worthy opponent.’

Colonel Madine looks thoughtful at what the Sith Lord has just told him, then glances at me and my now empty plate.

‘Time for dessert, I see,’ he says with a smile.

I watch him gather up the plates and disappear into his kitchen. Once he is out of the room, I give Ani my best annoyed look.

What are you playing at, Sith Lord? I scold him. My brother was certainly a brilliant swordsman, but not a Jedi, no way.

Force abilities are genetic to a certain extent, my love explains, and if how you acquired your sensitivity ever became public, it would be a disaster. Never mind that it only works with someone who is an anomaly, without midichlorians to start with, there are those who would still make the attempt anyway. Let everyone think your older brother was a Jedi. It will do no harm.

Michael would have thought it quite funny to hear you call him a Jedi, I decide.

Madine is back with the next course. Ice cream? I pick up my spoon and take a taste. It is as close to my favorite dessert as I could hope for. I happily attack the dish of cold strawberry-like flavored treat and am rewarded with a headache for my greediness. A careful rub on my temples helps a bit.

Greedy little concubine, aren’t you, Ani teases, and I just know he’s smiling behind his mask.

Watch out, Sith Lord, I threaten, or I’ll chill your dinner down to the same temperature tonight.

The Colonel smiles at my reaction, and offers, ‘Would you like some more, my lady?’

A quick debate then. Have some more and put up with Ani’s teasing, or be good and decline the offer? More sounds better, and if he teases too much, well, I will just ignore him.

‘Yes, please, Colonel,’ I ask, handing him the empty bowl.

Ani waits until Madine is out of earshot before letting out a quiet chuckle. Time to try something out. I turn and give Ani one of the same irked looks he uses on me when I am being a bit too bratty. That just makes him laugh a bit louder. So much for that idea.

The Colonel walks in while my love is still quietly laughing. He gives us both a puzzled look, then hides a smile before handing me my second helping of dessert.

I like this man, Ani, I decide. He has a good sense of humor and isn’t the least bit intimidated by you.

No, he isn’t, and he is also an exceptionally good soldier and leader, Ani tells me. Unfortunately he has already been assigned to the new Commando unit or I would have had him transferred to my new flagship to replace Thirsk.

I dig into the ice cream, but eat at a more sensible pace this time. Ani and Madine start talking about the new Commando unit again, so I only half-listen to their conversation. All too soon I am finished eating and it is getting close to the time for the convocation ceremony. The Colonel checks the chronometer on the wall and gives the Sith Lord a knowing look. Time for him to get ready and us to leave.

Ani offers his arm and I take it. He bids Madine farewell and we are shown to the door. I walk quietly by the Sith Lord’s side, into the building we were in earlier and wonder what we will do next.

Relax in my suite until it is necessary to go into the hall, Ani volunteers. We should have half an hour or so to wait.

I behave myself until we are behind locked doors and out of sight, then grab his hand and pull him over to the couch by the window. Ani doesn’t resist, to my surprise, when I give him a playful shove backwards onto the cushions. Time to curl up a bit. A moment later I am beside him, happily leaning on his shoulder, wrapped in his arms.

‘It’s too bad we have to go to a boring ceremony,’ I tell him. ‘The view from here is nice and I am content to stay right where I am.’

‘There is a nice view from my castle on Imperial Center, too, Favorite,’ he teases.

‘Too many buildings there, and I don’t like heights,’ I scold him a little.

Ani runs a finger through my hair, so I trace the edges of his life support control panel with one of mine. I wish there was some way to free him from that, from his necessary prison, but I know it is impossible. There are no miracle cures in the Empire for my love’s medical problems. Even in the bedroom on the Devastator there is a risk to him every time he removes his armor and swaps the control panel on it for the small, remotely controlled one. Before I arrived, he rarely did that. Instead, he would leave his armor on and sleep in his meditation chamber. Now, he spends every night he can with me, and every time he does, he takes a chance with his life.

‘You worry far too much about me, Maia,’ he chides me.

‘And you don’t worry enough,’ I criticize a little. ‘Someone needs to look after you, Sith Lord, since you are so intent on putting yourself in harm’s way.’

He is quiet at that and I know I am right. Ani is incapable of standing back from the action and letting someone else lead the charge. Fondor was a good example of that.

‘I will be more careful then, my Favorite, if that will ease your mind,’ he reassures me.

I snuggle closer in to him. Time is going by quickly, soon we will have to leave. Soon we will return to the Devastator and... I chop off that thought. Worry about that later, Maia.

You are still afraid, aren’t you, my Favorite? Ani asks.

Oh, no. He would want to discuss this now. So am I afraid?

Nervous, I admit, and a little scared.

Understandable, he calmly tells me, I will be careful and gentle with you, you have no reason to fear.

Yes, I realize, he will be very gentle with me, since he has never once done anything to hurt me. I close my eyes and think back over the last month. Ani has always been careful with me, even the few times he has been a little aggressive, something which is totally opposite to what one would expect given his public persona. His hand caresses my face so I open my eyes. He shifts his body a little bit in an attempt to look into my face, so I move in response so he can.

>Favored one, my Lady who is bound to me, and me alone,< he tells me in Sith, touching my cheek with one finger.

I relax at his words and pull what I had said to him from my memory. He will hear it from me again, now, knowing that I finally understand exactly what I swore to him.

>I offer to you, and you alone,
my heart, seat of all my emotions;
my body, source of all my strength;
my life, my soul, essence of my being;
let me be bound to you, Lord Vader.<

Ani responds by pulling me in close once more, and I can feel his indecision. For a while, he fights with himself, then calms his mind, and speaks to me again.

‘Maia, there is something I have not told you about your oath,’ he admits.

I stay quiet, listening intently. What has he concealed from me?

‘It seems to be a simple enough pledge to me,’ I tell him.

‘It’s not a simple pledge, my Favorite, but the core oath for a Sith ceremony which binds mates permanently together. A marriage vow, if you like,’ Ani reveals. ‘When I accepted it, you became my wife, my Lady. If only I had contacted the Emperor before I knew you had become attuned to the Force. My master would have had no choice then, but to recognize you as my wife. By waiting, I gave him the opportunity to refuse to grant you the position which is rightfully yours.’

‘Ani, why didn’t you tell me this at the time?’ I ask, trying my best not to feel a bit hurt.

‘I didn’t know how you would react, and I needed your help to get back here,’ Ani admits. ‘For the same reason, I was quite careful to control my temper around you, despite your best efforts and tendency to provoke it.’

So he was acting out of character for those four days. I should have known that at the time and figured it out by now. My public impertinence, insolence, and over-familiar behavior towards him at home would here result in some sort of discipline from the Sith Lord. It’s a miracle he didn’t leave me behind after all.

‘Yes, Maia, your behavior at times was quite maddening, but I would never have left you behind. Even without the oath I was going to take you with me,’ he tells me, then pauses a moment to tip my face with one of his hands so he can look directly into it. ‘Listen to me carefully because you will never hear this from me again.’

I stare at him, surprised, but nod my understanding to him.

‘It has been almost twenty years since I have cared about anyone in the way I do for you,’ Ani admits, ‘and when I heard from your own lips how you felt for me, I knew I had to take you with me. The permanent bond I created between us merely cemented that fact.’

Whoa. That’s almost a declaration of love. No wonder he said he wouldn’t ever repeat it.

‘Ani ... ,’ I start to speak, but am cut off.

‘Now, you may not want to hear the rest,’ Ani warns, ‘but I am going to tell you anyway. I want and need an heir, Maia, and you will be the one to give him to me. No other woman has ever shown the fearlessness that you do, or the desire to have a life-long relationship with me of the type I would want. You also have all the qualities I require in a mate except for your persistent stubbornness. Hopefully our children will be spared that trait. So, my Favorite, regardless of my own feelings, I would still have taken you with me.’

I extract myself from his arms, get to my feet, and stand with my arms wrapped around me, looking out the window with my back to him. Hearing the first from him was comforting, but the second was a bit disturbing. Ani wants a son so very badly that he would have ignored his own lack of feelings for his child’s mother in order to get one.

That’s cold, I decide. I don’t think I could live with you if you felt absolutely nothing for me.

But I do, Ani reassures me, I feel far more than is wise, or safe.

I hear his footsteps as he approaches and his breath close to my ear when he moves to hold me from behind.

‘Ani,’ I breathe.

‘Maia,’ he replies.

We stay motionless until the comm chimes. Time to go, I guess. I follow my love to the door and let myself be led down to the Commandant’s office. His daughter is nowhere to be seen, so he must have followed Ani’s advice and locked her up somewhere.

From there, Ani escorts me to the large central hall and I take my place beside him on the stage. I find it uncomfortable to be at the center of attention, and I know that there are many stares directed solely at me. Control becomes a god-send as are Ani’s calm telepathic comments while we wait for his turn to speak. The next few hours fly by because I find most of the ceremony tedious and boring. Thankfully the Sith Lord will be the last one to address the crowd and then it will be on to the reception.

I listen as the Commandant introduces my love, and smile when he finally takes his place at center stage. He starts his closing address and I note that he has balanced the topics quite nicely. There is just the right amount of encouragement in it, as well. Too bad he hates politics. Ani is pretty good at writing speeches when he needs to.

I heard that, he tells me when he pauses for a few seconds.

I don’t let myself snicker even though I am quite tempted to. Ani has no patience for politicians and their machinations. He prefers action of the military type instead. Still, the idea of him campaigning for office is rather funny.

And I heard that too, he adds, as he finishes up and walks back to where I am sitting.

Ani resumes his place beside me while the ceremonies are wrapped up and the graduating class dismissed. Now there is only the reception to attend for a few minutes before we can leave. I watch the newly commissioned officers make their way out in an orderly fashion. Once the room has emptied, the Commandant leads us and the other dignitaries out into the central parade ground where the reception will be held. Instead of being allowed to mingle, though, the Sith Lord has Thirsk take me back into the building, to wait until Ani is ready to leave. I walk beside Thirsk feeling a bit annoyed at being left out. My love’s over-protectiveness is beginning to grate on me.

The room I am taken to is bright and sunny, with a few chairs and couches in it. Someone has seen to it that a tray of munchies and an array of drinks are on hand for me, so I pour a glass of juice, fill a plate and look about for a place to sit. Selecting a comfortable looking chair by the window, I plunk myself down to nibble on my choices and wait. A few minutes later, I hear the door open. When I turn to look at who it is, I see a young female officer has come in. She must be one of the graduates, I decide. We stare at each other for a moment and I can sense she is debating whether to stay or leave. Thirsk is just ignoring her, so I beckon her over and point to a chair nearby.

When she still hesitates, I try to reassure her with, ‘I don’t bite, Lieutenant.’

‘My lady?’ she questions.

‘Sit down, please, and tell me your name,’ I tell her, again pointing at the chair.

‘Melina Panib, my lady,’ she states, finally sitting down as I asked her to.

I give her a closer look. Blonde, blue-eyed, and almost a dead ringer in features for Marilyn Monroe, but this is no vapid bimbo. There is keen intelligence in those eyes, and despite her hesitation in approaching me, I can sense confidence and calm once she has decided I intend no harm. Good. This must be one of the officers Thirsk thought might be suitable.

‘I don’t know why I was sent here,’ Melina admits, ‘only that I am supposed to answer your questions.’

So I was right about her being one of Thirsk’s selections. Since Ani has gone through the files too, I can only assume that he wants me to have the final say after talking to his own choices. Well, I won’t ask any of the obvious questions then. My two protectors will have checked out her record quite thoroughly. No, I want to find out what her background is and what her personality is like.

‘Tell me about yourself, Melina. I want to hear about your family and childhood,’ I ask.

She stares at me, surprised, but soon starts to talk. Her homeworld is in the Outer Rim, several brothers and sisters, and a happy childhood from the sound of things. I like her sense of humor too. This is someone who knows better than to take herself too seriously. Well, if Ani is agreeable, Melina would be one of my choices.

After half an hour Thirsk suggests, ‘I think, my lady, that you have taken enough of the Lieutenant’s time, and she should go enjoy some of the afternoon while she can.’

I give him an annoyed look, but raise no objections when Melina leaves. A few minutes later, another tall, blond woman is shown in. By the time Thirsk tells me that the last one has left, I have spoken to six different Lieutenants. Time to have a think, then. If I had to choose two, I would pick Melina and Cyran, next on the list would be Daini and Adi. The other two would just irritate me. Their personalities are not ones I could tolerate for any length of time at all.

‘Well?’ Thirsk asks.

‘The first four would be fine,’ I decide, ‘and my top choices would be Melina and Cyran. The last two, no way, Commander. I have no time for someone with an attitude problem.’

Thirsk gives me one of his rare smiles, and admits, ‘My choices as well, my lady. Melina or Cyran would make a good personal aide for you, but I will train all of them as bodyguards. I will tell the four you chose they have an hour to pack and to meet us at the shuttle.’

I watch him go and settle in to wait for another hour or so. It is going to be very late when we get back to the Devastator and I have no idea how long Ani will keep me awake once we are there. My face starts blushing again. Maybe I should have put him off another day. We are both going to be tired by the time we can leave here. Perhaps a short nap is a good idea, so I move over to the nearest couch. Setting my defenses to wake me if anyone opens the door, I wrap a hand around my lightsaber and let myself drift off.

Ani wakes me up when he comes in. He doesn’t know quite where I am, I quickly realize, since where I am lying is not visible from the door. I stay quiet and wait for him to discover my location. Sure enough, he leans over the back of the couch and I smile up at him.

Hello, love, I tease him.

Time to go, he tells me.

I have no objections, so I happily take his arm and walk to the shuttle with him. The four female Lieutenants are already waiting there with their packed trunks and Commander Thirsk.

Has anyone has told them why they are going with us? I ask Ani.

No, not yet, he reveals, All they know is that they have been posted to my new flagship and that I wanted them to leave with us rather than on the transport departing tomorrow. Thirsk will work with them for a few weeks as a final test.

They all seem quite surprised and eager to be going with us, Ani, I observe as the four women follow us into the shuttle and strap themselves in.

Only a few women officers from this class were chosen for my ship, and it is considered the most desirable assignment in the fleet at the moment, Ani comments, then he tips his head and concentrates a moment. They suspect that your opinion played some role in their posting, since these four were not at the top of the class. Melina and Adi are also quite curious why you interviewed them instead of me.

Eavesdropper, I tease, someday, Ani, you will probably hear something you would rather not.

He makes no reply to that so I slip my hand into his and give it a squeeze. Ani glances over at me and I know he is again thinking of what will happen once we are alone in a few minutes. When the shuttle lands in the hangar, I release his hand and follow him down the ramp. Thirsk will see that the Lieutenants are assigned appropriate berths.

What a most peculiar day it has been, I think as I cross the hangar at Ani’s side. First my decision which will be acted on shortly, then the birthday presents from my Lord, and the events down at the academy. Now, we are back on the Devastator, having taken the shuttle rather than our TIEs back. The fighters were ferried up earlier by Ani’s two wingmen. I walk beside the Sith Lord, nervous, but strangely, unafraid of what the rest of the evening will hold. I have been his in my dreams already, so I hope I have some idea of what to expect. He leads me back to our quarters, and I go straight to our bedroom. There are preparations I wish to make, alone. Somehow he senses my need for a moment or two of solitude and I am left to my own devices.

I strip off the formal gown, hang it with Ani’s cloaks and pull out a soft nightgown for myself. My new necklace and earrings I set down on the table. A hot bath follows, though I pin up my hair rather than wash it. Returning to the bedroom, garbed for bed with my hair down, I stop and stare. My love has lit the room with thousands of tiny lights. Not candles, as the oxygen content he needs is too high for that, but some other source. He stands in the shadows, watching my reaction, and when he sees that I am pleased, I feel his arms slide around me from behind, coming to rest on my stomach, and his lips graze across my neck and shoulder. Ani must have removed his armor while I was soaking.

I am turned in his arms, held at a distance for a minute while he simply looks at me. Who does he see, I wonder. The scientist who helped rescue him, the Jedi/Sith in training, his Favorite? He makes no response to my musings, just lets his eyes wander over my face. Satisfied with what he has found, I am pulled closer, into a gentle embrace. His lips brush mine now, and this is no ardent or rushed kiss. My Lord slowly, patiently and most thoroughly kisses me. Unlike the others we have shared, this one sends odd tremors through me, strange sensations I have never felt before. I now understand the expression weak in the knees as my hands cling to the robe he has wrapped himself in.

Finishing with my mouth, his lips travel down my throat, leaving a trail of electricity in their wake. He does not stop when he reaches the neckline of the nightgown, but pulls lose the ties that hold it on and slips it down from my shoulders. Impediment removed, I feel his mouth slide across my breasts, finally stopping when I gasp in surprise at his actions. I am lifted into his arms now, carefully cradled and carried over to our bed. Ani sets me down on it, and lies down beside me, propping himself up on his side with one arm. The nightgown has slipped to my waist and I feel exposed and vulnerable until his free hand pulls it up to cover me.

He seems to be debating his next move while I lie at his side, wondering what he plans to do. His decision is made, and I find myself once again being kissed. Light kisses cover my face, run down my throat. My nightgown is gradually pushed down, and his lips touch my stomach and sides, and try as I might, I cannot stop my giggling as my ticklish nature rears its head. I feel his amusement at my response, his desire to please me, and I wonder if there is something I should be doing for him as well.

No, Maia, he gently tells me, this night is for you. I can always teach you how to please me later.

His hands slide down my legs to my poor scarred feet. He cradles each of them, tracing the patterns of the burns with his fingers. I feel little of what he does, but understand the caring he wants to show me. A few tugs on the hem of my nightgown and it is gradually pulled from me, to be set aside on the floor where his own robe quickly joins it. I am truly exposed to his gaze now, as he is to mine, but this no longer bothers me as much as it once might have.

My love shifts position, returning to sit facing me on the bed. Again his hands run over my, face, my arms, my chest, then are joined by his mouth. Everywhere he touches comes alive, has a prickling sensation which grows more intense with each moment. Butterflies take up residence in my chest and stomach, fluttering away with each caress. I don’t understand what he is doing to me, what I am feeling, and I am not sure what he will do next, but I need, want something from him. He kisses my mouth, senses my confusion, reassures me with a touch.

You are almost ready, Maia. I can relax you more, make it easier, more enjoyable for you if you wish, but it requires something far more intimate than I have yet done.

I tremble a little under his hand, and know he will do nothing to harm me, so I give my consent with a kiss, and wait, curious as to what he is going to do.

He runs his mouth down across my stomach and does not stop until he reaches the only part of my body he has yet to touch. My legs are pushed slightly apart and my knees pulled up to give him access and I gasp in shock and surprise as he kisses me there, sets his mouth upon me. My hands twist and grip the sheets as I desperately try to hold on. The sensations that run through me now; the terrible ache in my stomach increases and the flutterings become unbearable. My breath comes in short gasps as I try to pull away, only to be held securely in place.

Ani! I plead, what are you doing to me?

There is no answer from him and I am pushed closer towards something my body craves at this moment more than anything. When I think I can bear it no longer, he gently slides a finger into me, carefully strokes me inside and my body arches in response. Soft moans escape from my throat despite my attempts to stop them as he continues to use his mouth and hand to nudge me closer still to an edge. My body goes tense against him as I teeter on the brink, then another touch from him produces sweet release. I feel my muscles clamp down hard around him, pulse in an ancient rhythm, and I lose myself in the sensation of it. Ani stops his actions when he feels their ultimate effect, kisses the inside of my thigh, and I sense his surprise at the strength of my reaction. Did that ever feel good.

Enjoyed that, didn’t you? he teases, sitting up and looking into my face.

I shiver in response. That definitely felt good. Now what will he do?

You should relax, my little concubine. I need to check something before I do anything more, he tells me.

He gently moves his finger inside me, then adds a second, and I instinctively tense up a little.

It’s alright, Maia, he reassures me, I don’t want to hurt you anymore than is absolutely necessary and I must know how much room I will have.

I feel him gradually stretch me with his fingers and flinch when it becomes too painful. He removes his hand after that and I know he is considering what to do next.

You are small and tight, my little goddess, he admits, and even if I am very gentle with you, your first time, here, with me, will still hurt.

I reach down, take his hand and squeeze it. Pain is something I can deal with. Ani hesitates a moment, then nods. There is no need to tell him what I want him to do. He shifts quickly to kneel between my legs, moving me slightly as he readies himself. I feel him push carefully, slowly into me, stopping every so often to give me time to become used to the sensation of him within me. The pain at the start is less, shorter than I expect, and as I feel my body stretch, then finally tear, I stay silent, refusing to cry out to him with it. He knows though and I feel gentle, soothing touches to my face, on our bond, as he gradually eases himself deeper into me.

Ani feels me relax at his touch and starts to move within me, taking me in his arms and holding me as my body reacts to his slow, gentle movements inside me. With his actions, my need for him builds again, then is finally answered; the ache becomes sweet, intense before muscles roll within me, contract around him once again. I cling desperately to him and hear myself calling his name as my own one is torn from his throat. Immediately, I feel him moving deeper, faster within me, hear his increasingly ragged breaths as he gets close to his own peak. Instinct takes hold of me; my hips move to meet his. My love thrusts quickly, deeply into me. When he can go no deeper, he pulls me tighter into his chest, holds me to himself, motionless a moment. Then I feel him shiver against me and with an uncontrolled, quick final hard thrust or two, he himself is sated, satisfied, filling me, making me his entirely, and I hear my name cried from his lips once again.

The Sith Lord collapses on top of me and is gasping, fighting the pattern of his usually regulated breathing. Stunned by what I have just experienced, I simply lie beneath him.

‘Ani, are you all right?’ I ask, panicking. ‘Ani?’

I will be fine once I stop fighting the blasted set pattern. Hang on and I’ll adjust it.

He glances to the wall panel and I hear his respiration rate increase, the horrid gasps disappear, as the commands are relayed to the remote on his chest.

‘Next time I will do that first,’ he reassures me. ‘Sorry my love, I had forgotten that good sex can be as much a workout as an hour in the salle with you. I didn’t mean to frighten you.’

Love, he called me love? He has never done that before. His candidness, openness takes me aback a little.

‘Ani?’ I wonder, ‘Are you sure you are all right?’

‘Never better, Maia, my Favorite, my beloved little goddess,’ he teases, laying his head between my breasts.

Most of his weight is supported by his arms to either side of me, yet I still find it difficult to take deep breaths. The small control box on his chest pokes into my skin, but I accept the discomfort gladly.

 I fold my arms across his back in response to his closeness, holding him to me, as he continues, ‘I just see no point in being as formal around you as I have been. You have certainly lost your fear of intimacy, and there is no reason to be any less than candid with one another, now is there? Tell me, now, did you enjoy yourself? I know you must have because I could feel your body respond to me.’

‘Ani, what did you do to me? It felt...’ I pause, trying to find the right words and failing. How do I describe what just happened to me, when I don’t understand it myself? Settling on something simple, I finish with ‘....good.’

‘I?’ he replies, amused. ‘Your own body did that. I just nudged things in the right direction. It is right and proper that you experience pleasure from my touch. You will be a most passionate lover, my goddess, once you learn how to please me, one I will enjoy greatly.’

Curious about his own experience, I ask, ‘Ani, what did it feel like to you?’

Shall I show you?

His shields collapse and I am pulled into his mind. I relive the last few minutes with him, feel my own reactions from his perspective, gasp with him as he felt me reach my own climax around him and achieved his own shortly after. What he felt, the sensations were as strong, intense as my own, if different physically. He releases me back into my own body and I think, the next time I won’t ask. That was just too bizarre, experiencing that with him. My reaction produces a chuckle from him.

‘Some things, perhaps, shouldn’t be shared,’ he decides. ‘Now, I need to move because I can’t stay where I am all night much as I would enjoy it.’

He shifts his weight off of me and with his withdrawal comes pain.

‘Ani,’ I tell him, ‘It hurt.’

‘Yes, I know,’ he softly says. ‘There was no way to avoid it. I am a large man, and you were quite small. I was as gentle as I could be with you. It should not be painful the next time. I will look after you, my Favorite, so stay put and don’t move.’

I watch him head into the ‘fresher. There is the sound of water running and a storage compartment opening. When he returns, he is carrying a small bowl, cloths and a jar of ointment. He gently cleans the blood from me, and I am surprised at how little there is. The salve is carefully applied to my injury and numbness follows. A second trip and he has disposed of the items he just used and looked after his own needs. On his return, he sits beside me on the bed, reaches down and caresses my face.

‘Thank you, my love,’ I tell him, snuggling in close when he lies down next to me.

His response is a kiss to my forehead. I can sense he is thinking about something, so I let him muse while my mind wanders a little. Ani was very gentle with me, just like he promised. I guess my dream wasn’t that accurate after all since it didn’t hurt as much as I expected it would. The Sith Lord stiffens a little, pulls me in closer, then gradually relaxes again. He’s worried about whatever is on his mind.

***

It’s a relief to know that she is pleased with how I made love to her this time, how gentle I was, how careful I was not to hurt her too much.

And she hasn’t yet realized her dream was real.

When she does find out…I will deal with it. Deal with her. Explain why I couldn’t wait, why I had to trick her.

Then I will have to do something I will always regret. Something I have no choice but to do.

Maia will understand and forgive me.

She always has in the past.

She always will in the future.

***

‘Is something wrong, Ani?’ I ask him.

The only answer I get is another kiss. There is something bothering him and he doesn’t want to tell me what it is.

Stubborn Sith Lord, I think at him, and watch a small smile appear on his face. Well, I will just puzzle it out for myself since you won’t own up to it.

His eyebrow goes up at that. A challenge then. Alright, Ani, we will see what I can work out.

I set my brain to work and while I do, Ani pushes himself up against the wall. He watches me, obviously amused by what he sees running through my mind. Think that’s funny, do you? Better be careful, you, or I might discover something you would prefer I don’t know. A low chuckle is his reply to that thought. Fine. I’ll hide what I am doing until I have a solution. I deliberately block him out of my mind, but he doesn’t scold me for it, just continues to wait patiently for me to finish.

He didn’t do that, I think, shocked, when my brain finally comes up with an answer. I look at the facts once again. Damn. Ani must have done exactly that. And he expected that I wouldn’t figure it out for myself either.

I let out a low, angry growl and glare at him.

‘You are in a heap of trouble, Sith Lord,’ I threaten, furious with what he had done to me.

He merely smiles at me.

‘You, you, ... you brat!’ I yell at him, unable to think of what else to say.

The smile gets wider. He has no intentions of reacting to a temper tantrum from me. Another tactic then. I move to the edge of the bed and turn my back to him. Ani can sleep by himself tonight. There will be no snuggling up to me until he confesses and apologizes.

‘That won’t work on me, Favorite,’ Ani warns me, sounding rather amused.

I refuse to reply.

‘And the silent treatment doesn’t bother me either,’ he adds.

I shut my eyes and curl up in a ball. How could he do that to me?

His hand reaches over and pulls the hair back from my face.

‘Would it help if I explained to you why?’ he offers.

I give a small nod.

‘You were too great a temptation to resist, my little goddess,’ the Sith Lord admits, ‘and I wanted you. It had been so very long since I felt that way for anyone, Maia, and I needed you.’ He stops for a few seconds, then reveals, ‘And I had no choice, my love. By tradition, your oath required it, so I used illusion and suggestion to make it easier for you to accept me. Sometimes dreams and reality are the same thing.’

I stay where I am, thinking.

I was right, then. That dream, that peculiar, beautiful dream had been him manipulating me all along. And the pain and blood, his unreasonably possessive behavior and jealousy, and persistence in calling me his wife the next day, mysteries, now explained. No wonder he was amused when I assumed he wanted to make love to me - he had already done so the day before.

‘If you had been open about it, had come to me as you really were, told me the truth of the situation, and asked, I would still have given myself to you,’ I tell him. And, yes, I would have at the time, knowing that I would never have the chance again since he would be gone the following day while I would be left behind.

He touches my mind, and I know he is looking to see if I am telling the truth. When he discovers that I have been honest with him, he pulls me up into his arms, gently cradles me in his lap, and holds me to his chest like a child. I suspect the need for comfort is felt more by him than me, but he will never let on that this is the case.

‘My love, I cannot change what I did, but you must understand that I could not sense you, could not know how you would react,’ Ani reveals. ‘To all but you, my mask, my armor cause fear and terror. I was afraid, Maia, afraid that you would reject me if you saw that above you, making love to you, and I wanted, needed you to accept, to love, me.’

There is a hint of anguish in his voice with his last statement and I know he has bared his soul to me in saying it. This is as close to an admission of love for me, I realize, as I will ever hear from him. I reach a hand to his face, and kiss him lightly on the lips.

‘Ani, I understand, I forgive you,’ I reassure him, soothing him, ‘I will always love you. Never, ever doubt this.’

He relaxes at my words, my touch, and a small part of me wonders what it would have felt like that night with him in his armor without the trickery.

I stay nestled in his arms for a long time, content just to let him hold me, but eventually I start to shiver involuntarily as the air on my bare skin begins to chill me.

‘You are getting cold,’ my love observes, ‘So, under the covers with you and let me check to make sure you are pregnant. I knew weeks ago that this would be the best time for you.’

Ani knew? I think to myself. Of course. He can count days as well as I, and he probably used the Force to find out when would be best, too.

***

I didn’t need to use the Force. Your own plans were quite apparent, after a while, I tell her.

Her secret was no secret to me. I knew what she was planning. There was no reason to be concerned this last week when I knew her delaying tactics were merely for timing. And her little plot has ensured she won’t suspect that our son was conceived a month ago.

You, my love, she thinks at me, are a truly sneaky Sith Lord.

I chuckle at her thought, then boast, I told you I always win.

She never stood a chance against me.

I lift her up in my arms, pull the blankets back with a thought. The bloodstained top one I rip off and toss to the floor. Then I gently tuck her in, and quickly join her. I sit beside her, lay my hands on her stomach, and look inward, searching for my son within her. It takes mere seconds to remove the shields I had around him.

I harden my heart. Now to do what is necessary. What I must.

With a start, I yank my hands away, stare at her middle in consternation.

‘Ani, what’s wrong?’ she asks, worried now.

‘This is not possible. This was not supposed to happen,’ I state, making sure to sound taken aback, ‘Nothing in my meditations predicted this.’

‘Ani!’ she calls to me.

Her concern is growing.

‘Your last gift was to be a weak or Force-blind child, not this,’ I tell her. ‘You will give birth to my son, my heir. He will have some of your brilliance, but not your mathematical talents. The Force will be strong in him, very strong. Strong enough that it will be impossible to persuade the Emperor to let us keep him.’

She stares at me, horrified.

Her thoughts scream out to me. No. No! No, no, no! Not our child. I will never let him have our son, I will run away and hide somewhere first.

I am sorry, my little goddess, so very sorry that I must do this to you…

I watch her closely. Her breaking point. I need to reach that. Push her past it. Threaten her with the one thing she could never endure, never accept.

I flatly state, ‘It wouldn’t work, Maia. My master would only force me, against my own will if he felt it necessary, to hunt you down and drag you back. There are only two choices here. Keep the child and risk losing him later, or let me term....’

‘NO!’ she screams at me, shoving herself up against the wall, becoming more frantic every second. ‘You mustn’t. Please Ani, no. No. Not that, anything but that.’

She is becoming hysterical, so I play the concerned mate, try to calm her, but she is beyond the point of listening to me now, her control lost and shattered.

I am so sorry, my dearest love, so very sorry…

I break my sworn word to her, pull my hand back, and slap her hard across the face.

She is instantly quiet, her eyes going wide with shock. My action has stunned her.

But not completely silenced her.

Please, please, please, Ani, her thoughts whisper to me, I want this child more than anything. Please. Please…

I hit her again, much harder than the first time. Maia did nothing to deserve that but I need her to listen to me. She brings a trembling hand to the terrible bruise my cybernetic hand has left on her face and stares at me. Complete despair and hopelessness mar her features.

Fear is building in her now. Fear of what I might do next. I wait, but she stays silent, afraid I will hit her a third time.

You will stop that and be reasonable about this. I send in a tightly controlled thought, letting her see and feel my anger, my fury at her.

There is no response, verbal or telepathic, to that. Only silence.

Good.

She is at the edge. I will push her over it.

Coldly, ruthlessly I tell her the reality of the situation, ‘Listen to me carefully Maia. I know you do not want to hear this, but you had better accept how things are for both our sakes. The choice of whether or not to keep a child is mine, by Sith tradition and law, not yours. I will not tolerate any more defiance or hysterics from you when I make my decisions, now or in the future. If I choose to let you carry a child to term, the Emperor has the final say in whether or not we can keep it. I am bound to this, and if you defy him, it could cost you and I more than you can possibly imagine. I would prefer to simply terminate your pregnancy right now and be done with it, but since you are so insistent, I will instead speak with my master in the morning and ask him to give me the child. This is the one and only time I will ever do this for you, so you had better be prepared to deal with whatever his decision is because I will act on it immediately.’

She collapses completely at that, moves as far away from me on the bed as she can get.

***

I am in shock from being hit and horrified by what he has just divulged. Why was I never told this before? All I can do is drag myself away, turn my back to him, and cry myself into exhaustion. When the Sith Lord eventually tries to comfort me, I let him hold me in his arms, but I remain inconsolable. His cruel actions and words have frightened me badly, and I wonder, what happened to the man who loves me, who gently took me in his arms, who I surrendered myself to gladly? Gone now, perhaps lost forever?

For the very first time, I am afraid of him.

***

Her unceasing sobs are enough to break anyone’s heart.

And I have just broken hers.

I rock her in my arms, knowing that nothing I do will ever comfort her.

I am so sorry, my love, so very, very sorry…

***

The Devastator, Centares: Year 0, Month 6.

DAY 1

***

She’s still asleep and I can see the terrible ravages of last night on her face. Even in sleep she looks lost, haunted, in pain. Heartbroken.

And her cheek is black and blue where I struck her. I gently touch the bruise with a gloved fingertip.

Oh, my love, what a price you have paid for our son. A price you don’t even know you have paid.

I leave her to wake alone, locking the door after myself as I go.

The Holonet pad beckons.

I step onto it.

‘Tell the Emperor I have good news for him,’ I order Sate Pestage. ‘News he will want to hear without delay.’

Then I kneel and wait, patiently, forming what I will say in my mind.

I do not have to wait long.

‘Rise, my friend,’ my master intones.

I obey.

‘You have information that will please me?’ he asks.

I resist over-riding my life support, refuse to instinctively take a deep breath to steady myself.

‘My Favorite…’ I start.

‘Yes?’

‘…is with child,’ I finish.

Silence, so I continue, ‘It will be a son. A Force-strong boy.’

My master tips his head in reply and I know he is questioning the Force, seeing how my child’s existence will mold, alter the future.

‘You have done well, Lord Vader,’ he finally replies. ‘I will take him. Bring the child to me once he is born.’

Now I do not hesitate.

I look him in the face and let my uncertainty flow out.

‘There is a problem with this?’ I am asked when he senses my concern.

‘My Favorite…’ I start again, then pause, for effect, ‘…is unstable, my master. She became unbalanced when I told her the child would be yours.’

‘This is of no concern to us,’ he casually dismisses my words. ‘Restrain and sedate her if necessary. No harm must come to my prize.’

My son. His prize. I narrow my eyes in fury. I won’t let him be taken from me, not after what I just did to Maia in order to keep him.

‘Four sons,’ I remind him. ‘You said I would have four sons from her.’

Then I reveal what I had seen days before, ‘The first will not be the strongest of them. The second will.’

Silence again while he asks the Force to confirm what I already know.

The second son Maia gives me will be one of the strongest Force sensitives ever born. My master won’t be able to resist the prospect of having this child for his own.

‘She must remain stable long enough to produce this boy,’ my master decides.

Now I have him.

‘I will need the child now within her to keep her calm and manageable,’ I boldly state. ‘She fears for him.’

Fear. The same path which led me to the dark side so many years ago. The path I must keep Maia well away from.

‘She must remain untainted, my apprentice,’ he reminds me.

‘Yes, my master,’ I confirm. ‘I know this.’

Only if the dark is kept from her, and she from it, will she produce a child with such power.

‘Do what you feel is necessary,’ he finally instructs. ‘And I will have this future second son of yours in exchange for the first.’

I stare at him in surprise. He is conceding his prize to me? So quickly, so easily?

A low chuckle emerges from his hood.

‘At a loss for words, my old friend?’ my master teases.

‘No,’ I say, a touch flustered by his unexpected generosity.

‘Your first will be your heir, your second, mine,’ he reveals. ‘Now thank me quickly so I can go about my other business.’

I bow in response and do as I have been told, ‘Thank you, my master.’

‘Now go tell your Favorite of my decision,’ he dismisses me. ‘You don’t want to keep her waiting.’

The blue hologram winks out.

My son is mine. But at what cost?

***

Ani is gone when I wake, so I pull on my discarded nightgown. I quickly discover that the bedroom door is locked and will not open for me. Trapped, imprisoned, he will allow me no chance to run away. At least he has left the jug and a glass on the table. After a drink, I decide that the best thing to do is repair my shattered shields and regain my control before he returns. Another hysterical fit on my part will do far more harm than good, and I will need my control to deal with whatever choice his master has made.

Curious about our child, frightened that my fear may have caused him harm, I set my hands low on my stomach, sending my senses within. There is a bright spark inside me, much to my amazement, a light which would bring so much joy to me. I feel tears running down my face again. Oh Ani, I think, what are we going to do?

We will do nothing. The Emperor has made his decision, Ani informs me. He will let me keep my son. For some reason he was in an uncharacteristically generous mood today. If I had asked at any other time, he would have demanded the child for himself.

Ani? Are you sure he won’t change his mind?

He won’t, but if he does, we will deal with it when it happens. Now, Maia, the bedroom door is jammed and I haven’t had time to fix it, so you are stuck there for a while.

I thought you locked me in, I quietly admit.

Why would I do that? Look, you should lie down and sleep, since all you did last night was have nightmares. I will get you out of there later.

Ani, I need you. Please.

I let some of my fear slip through my shields, but there is no response to my plea. Reaching down beside the bed produces the robe he wore last night, so I wrap it around myself. I retrieve one of his cloaks from the storage rack, toss it over myself and steal his pillow. It smells like the leather of his armor, the soap he uses, and the faint, undefinable male odor which is his alone, so I curl up around it, letting these scents soothe my nerves. To reassure myself, I touch the spark that is our child once again, and then let myself drift into sleep.

***

I look down at her as she rests, having slipped into the room I had earlier locked, my presence safely hidden from her with the Force.

She is sleeping peacefully now, my beautiful, stubborn little mate. The mother of my second son.

The Emperor was most pleased with my news. A strong son, my heir, for him to take from me and corrupt as he wishes.

Until I told him how unstable she would become, how to take my child would destroy her.

He will not risk that. Not yet. Not when she will give me a son far stronger than the one now within her.

So this son is mine to keep in exchange for the other one sometime in the future.

She must not know the truth of it. Not now, not ever.

I brush a finger along her cheek, watch her stir slightly in her sleep in response.

My beloved little goddess, will you ever forgive me if you find out what I have just done?

She shifts again without waking and I must leave her side soon, for she always knows when I am near.

Today there is a Rebel pilot to interrogate, a role to play, an identity to confirm.

Soon it will be my eldest son who I will be pursuing;
My older son, not the younger, who I will be protecting from my master.

***

Ani? I ask as I slowly awake and open my eyes. I am sure my love was here a moment ago, that he watched me for a while, and caressed my cheek. But the door is still closed and locked, the room completely empty, save for myself. A dream, I decide, it must have been a dream. Go to sleep again then, Maia, I tell myself, no need to worry. My eyes shut of their own accord and dreams claim me once again.

I wake screaming, knowing that what I have dreamt is a fore-warning of my love’s death. Terrified of what I saw, I lie there trembling, alone, for the Sith Lord has still not returned. It was just a dream, I try to reason with myself, not real. But somehow I realize that it will be, will happen exactly as I saw it unfold, and there is nothing I can do about it. Except make sure that I become a Sith or Jedi powerful enough to protect him. I let this idea roll around in my mind. There has to be a way to make sure I am taken to the Emperor at the same time Ani goes to him in my future vision. Then I will make sure that the other Jedi in my dream can’t hurt my love. Satisfied with my plans, I pull his robe and cloak tight about me again, reach instinctively for my son, and settle in to sleep.

The next time I wake it is part way through the sleep cycle of our day. Ani has still not come back and I start to wonder what is going on. There have been other times when he has disappeared looking after the Emperor’s business or on errands of his own which he refuses to discuss with me. I have learned not to question too closely, but I still worry nonetheless. This time though, he has not told me he would be gone. Concerned, I consider what I might do. Calling him on the comm is out of the question because he would be furious with me if he was in the middle of something. Ditto for using the Force to pull him to me, and I can just imagine the punishment for my disobedience. I could meditate and go looking for his presence. This is one of the few things he has allowed me to do unsupervised as long as I don’t play about with the Force while doing so.

Since I don’t feel like sitting up, I lie where I am and let myself slip into a meditative trance. Casting my senses out, I realize that the Dark Lord is nowhere on the Devastator. Reaching farther, I discover that we are no longer in the Caridan system. Where are we? Where is he? I stretch myself outside the ship and still cannot find him. We are on the outskirts of some system with another ship closer to the star, near one of the other planets. Reaching farther still, towards that planet, I find that he is there, yet completely unaware of my presence near him. Too afraid to try contacting him through his shields lest I interrupt what he is doing, I have no choice but to wait and hope he is unharmed, wherever he has gone to and whatever he is up to. With all of my strength, I send out to him, Ani, speak to me, my love, but there is no answer.

The Devastator, Hyperspace, on Route to Imperial Center

DAY 2

The Sith Lord’s return, shortly after midnight, wakes me from a restless slumber. I can tell he is tired as I watch him remove his armor and slowly make his way over to me. He eases himself into bed and realizes that I have stolen his robe, cloak, and pillow. I return the pillow immediately, toss the cloak on the floor, but leave the robe on, before getting under the covers. When he moves to touch me, I pull away, fearful of what he might do to me, to our child. The fleeting, rapidly hidden, hurt expression which crosses his face is almost enough to break my resolve.

‘Maia, why are you afraid of me?’ he asks, concerned. ‘You have never feared me before. What’s wrong?’

I don’t want to answer him, can’t bring myself to tell him the truth, but know he will drag it from me if I continue to stay silent. Candid, he had told me, is how we should be with one another now, so I am.

‘You never really told me what might happen if I became pregnant, what the consequences could be. I had no idea. None. And when you did tell me, you were cold, cruel, and ruthless when there was no need for it. Do you intend to treat me this way whenever I don’t understand what is going on?’

He says nothing to this, just looks at me, so I press on, ‘You struck me when I needed understanding and reassuring words, not a hand across the face. How can I ever let you touch me again? Why should I even trust you after that?’

Ani stares at me now, shocked, so I continue, ‘I needed you yesterday, if only for a moment, and you ignored me, deliberately shut me out. I was terrified and you wouldn’t even send me a thought. Do you have any idea what that did to me?’

He remains silent, still taken aback.

‘Actions and words have consequences, my Lord,’ I flatly state. ‘You have told me, taught me this yourself. This is the result of your own words and behavior. Maybe you should think about it for a while.’

With this I roll over, putting my back to him, having turned the tables on my teacher for a change. Am I being too harsh? Perhaps, but I intend to drive this lesson home. I will not let him abuse me again.

I listen carefully to see what his reaction is to my bold statements. Ani makes no move from where he is lying, and my senses reveal that he is as tightly shielded as I have ever known him to be. Without probing deeper, I know he is actually considering what I have said. Good. Maybe he will think twice, in the future, before deliberately doing something so cruel to me again.

***

She is afraid of me.

She is genuinely, truly afraid of me.

The one precious thing which made her unique is gone, destroyed by my own actions and words. It is my own fear and anger that has done this.

Fear of what could happen to her, to our son, at my master’s hands.

Anger because of what I was forced to do to her to protect them both.

Rage at the bargains he has imposed on me.

She must never know the truth of those, never know more than what she does now.

Secrets upon secrets, we are caught in a web of deceit.
In trying to protect, I have only done harm.

I struck her in anger, she who has never raised a hand to harm anyone, she who loves me, who trusted me, who will never trust me again.

What a fool I was to let my anger rule me.

She needed me and I failed her.

It will not happen again.

***

Yes, my beloved goddess, I will be more careful. It will not happen again.

Once his concession is made, I warily, cautiously, let him wrap himself around me. It will be many days before I can forgive him fully. Now, I wonder, how will he react to the other things I need to tell him? The easier one first, I decide.

‘Ani, I disobeyed you yesterday and broke my word to you,’ I admit. ‘I used the Force to touch our son, to make sure he was alright when I was frightened.’

He pulls me closer to his chest and I prepare myself for whatever punishment he decides is appropriate. It will be worse, far worse than the only time I ever defied him.

‘I know you did this; I felt it,’ he tells me. ‘It is just your maternal instincts beginning to assert themselves and completely natural. Punishing you for something you could not help doing would be pointless, and a strong connection between you and our child will help protect him. In a few months you will put shields around him when he needs to be guarded. Once that happens I will remove my restrictions on your use of the Force. You may need it to defend the both of you when I am not near. Now, my love, I can tell that something else has upset you besides this.’

‘I remembered your death, Ani,’ I reveal. ‘That memory, parts of it, came back to me today in a nightmare.’ A few tears slip down my face as I recall that horrible dream. ‘You were in a throne room somewhere, in space I think, not the Imperial Palace. The Emperor was there and some other Jedi as well. There was a duel.’ I hesitate for a moment, not wanting to tell him the rest. ‘You lost.’

He says not a word at my revelation, but gently brushes the tears from my face. I shift in his arms to face him, and do what is for me, a very bold thing - I hold his face in my hands, careful of his scarred cheek, set my mouth on his, and kiss him. Not a chaste kiss, but a demanding one, deep and intense, and he responds in kind.

Ani, my dearest love, I could not bear it if I lost you. Even without our bond it would destroy me, I tell him before I pull away and rest my forehead against his chin.

‘The future can be changed, my love,’ he calmly tells me, ‘we only need enough time and details to do so. Now I am exhausted and so are you despite how long you have spent in bed. Sleep now and we will deal with this later.’

I let him coax me into curling up in his arms and do my best to fall asleep, but I am far too distressed and afraid for slumber to easily claim me. After a while, I feel Ani’s touch on my forehead.

‘You are still upset, my Favorite. Let me help you sleep,’ he offers.

Should I trust him or not? A debate rages in my heart for a few minutes. I feel his hand withdraw and sense his own indecision. He’s still hurting from my earlier rejection and harsh words to him, though he will never admit that to anyone, not even himself. There is a vicious part of me which is quite spiteful and wants him to feel pain like that he inflicted on me. But I could never do that to him, no way, no matter what he does to me. Can I forgive him? Yes, I finally decide, I can do that, but I won’t ever forget.

‘Ani,’ I quietly tell him, ‘I can forgive you anything, do you know that?’

Yes, I do.

I shift about in his arms, slip my arm under his neck, and pull his head onto my shoulder. Ani gives me no resistance at all. Instead he simply lets me do as I please. He has left his hair alone, so I gently run my fingers through it, soothing him with my touch. I kiss the top of his head and rest my cheek against it, cradling him close to my chest. A moment later he is partially sprawled on top of me, one arm secure around my waist, the other awkwardly trapped between us.

‘Silly Sith Lord,’ I tease him.

A contented sigh is the only noise from him in response, so I know he has heard and understood what I just said to him. He shifts his weight a bit, lays his head on my chest, and I find myself firmly pinned in place and unable to move.

‘Ani,’ I prod him, ‘you can’t sleep like that all night.’

‘Why not?’ he sleepily replies. ‘I’m comfortable like this.’

‘You know that is a bad position for your lungs, my love, so be good and move yourself a bit,’ I insistently tell him. ‘I don’t want to be dragging you down to Medical in the morning because you have a problem breathing.’

He doesn’t complain, simply pushes himself off of my chest and into a better arrangement. Ani is still wrapped tightly around me though, so I resign myself to being unable to move until he wakes in the morning. I listen to his breathing ease a bit, and give him another kiss on top of his head. Sleep, my love, you need it, I think. Eventually, we both do.

The Devastator, Imperial Center, Coruscant System

Ani is gone from my side in the morning, but the bedroom door is still closed. I hear him in the ‘fresher, showering. Rats. He will be in his armor by the time I finish my bath. His robe is still wrapped around me, so I toss aside the sheets, take off his robe, and go to the ‘fresher door. I open it and peek in. The Sith Lord instantly whips around at the sound of the door opening, sending water everywhere. Letting out a squeak of surprise, I throw his robe towards him and scurry back into bed. Oops. That was embarrassing.

I hunker down under the covers and wait. Sure enough, I hear Ani finish his shower and a few minutes later, he comes back into the bedroom. A moment later, dressed in his robe, he is sitting beside me on the bed, pulling the blankets off of my head and peering down at me.

‘Silly little concubine,’ he teases me, ‘you have no reason to be shy anymore.’

I love you Ani, I tell him, smiling as I do, and I will always be shy.

That produces a quick kiss from him.

‘Up with you, now, my Favorite,’ Ani orders, ‘the bath is filling with water for you.’

I do as ordered and when I emerge from my bath, discover that Ani has not yet put his armor on. Instead, he is relaxing in his chair, waiting for me to join him.

‘I have an important meeting later today with the Emperor,’ he tells me once I have sat down.

Picking up my glass, I take a sip while I think of what to say. He said meeting, which implies it will be face to face, not over the Holonet.

Finally, I ask, ‘Are we at Imperial Center, then?’

A sharp look from him, then an admission, ‘Not yet. We at the edge of the system on a slow approach, but you will be staying on the ship, Maia. It is not safe for you to be anywhere near my master. I will tell him you have been ill, if he asks.’

Well, that’s fine with me. I want nothing to do with that particular individual anyway. If Ani wants me to play sick, I can do that, too.

‘Now, my Favorite, how do you feel today?’ Ani asks, reaching over and taking my hand as he does.

I look at him, surprised. What does he want to hear? Setting my free hand on my middle, I let my senses peer within. Our son is there, still a bright spark, and I somehow know all will be fine with him. I am not ill or tired, but it is too early for those signs of my pregnancy to show up yet.

Giving Ani a puzzled glance, I muse for a few minutes while he watches me. I feel deeply for him, perhaps I feel too much, I realize, but there is no way I can ever change that now. Am I upset with the Sith Lord and still afraid of him? A little bit, I suppose, and I will never completely trust him ever again.

Ani lets go of my hand and looks away from me. He knows, I think to myself, and he understands the damage he has done to our relationship.

I was a fool, Maia, a fool who let his emotions rule him, he admits. In time, perhaps, you will find it in yourself to forgive me.

I watch him leave the chair and silently open the compartment with his armor in it. My forgiveness last night was obviously not enough to satisfy him. He is hurting still, wallowing in perceived guilt, and he won’t let himself deal with it. Well, I know just how to manage this.

‘Ani, stop it,’ I scold, ‘there is no point in continuing to blame yourself. What’s done, is done, and I refuse to let you mope about or wallow in self pity.’

That earns me an angry glare from him. Hit the nail on the head, now didn’t I? I see him take a step towards me, then stop and spin about only to slam a fist into the wall. Temper, temper, Sith Lord. He stands there, back to me, thinking, so I stay quiet and let him work his way through his feelings without any more interference from me. This tactic always worked on my temperamental baby brother. Push him to the edge, force him to think about it, then wait for him to resolve the problem for himself. The only difference is that my youngest brother is nowhere near as dangerous as Ani can be if pushed too hard.

I remain silent, waiting patiently for Ani to sort himself out. Finally the tension starts to visibly leave his body. Good. He has settled himself and dealt with his feelings.

‘That was a dangerous thing to do, Maia,’ he quietly tells me, ‘and a tactic I would advise you not to use in the future.’

‘If you don’t give me any reason to resort to it,’ I promise him, ‘then I won’t.’

He turns to look at me and I meet his eyes with my own. Ani is calm once again. Time to give him the reassurance he so desperately needs and wants from me. I get out of my chair, grab his hand and pull him over to the bed.

Love me Ani, I ask, make me yours once again.

It’s too soon, Maia, you need to heal, he starts to protest.

Then just touch me, kiss me. I need you, my love, I tell him.

He raises a hand tentatively to my face, so I close my eyes and lean into his touch. A moment later his lips are on mine, first gentle, then demanding, and I feel his own need for me start to burn. With a tug or two my nightgown is off and on the floor again. Then I am lifted and set down on the bed, and his hands slowly explore my body.

Ani sits beside me next and just looks at me while he runs his fingers through my hair. I sense him make a decision and with a growl he tosses his robe aside. His lips are on me next, kisses cover my face and breasts. Then he stops once more and watches my face again. What is he looking for, I wonder.

I reach a hand up to touch his cheek and that seems to trigger something in the Sith Lord. He pulls me over a bit, to the center of the bed, then shifts me into position. The pain is short, sharp this time when he pushes into me, so I quickly hide it from him. I feel him moving gently in me, using no deep hard thrusts, only long slow ones, as if he wants to prolong every second of it. This feels good, maybe even better than what he did before. We make love in slow motion, and when my body finally has its needs answered, he lets his own control go, but gently so there is no pain from thrusts which are too hard and deep into my body. When he is satisfied, he rolls us onto our sides, holding me close, but still staying within me.

That felt good, Ani tells me, giving me a kiss to the forehead as he does so. Shall we do it again?

What? I ask, surprised. Is he serious?

A low chuckle rumbles in his chest. I feel him move inside me and realize that in the last few minutes the Sith Lord had somehow prepared himself for another round of love making.

An easy trick, my Favorite, when one knows how to control one’s body, he teases.

Well, he’s ready and I like the sensations he produces in me, so why not? I lightly nip him on the neck, imitating his own habit of biting me.

Frisky little concubine. I will take that as a yes, Ani decides.

When our second round of love making is finished, he sits up against the wall and I happily lie there in his arms. That definitely felt good.

‘Can we do that every day?’ I ask, wondering what is possible.

‘Yes, you insatiable little hedonist,’ Ani teases. ‘Do you intend to try to wear me out?’

‘Maybe,’ I teasingly admit, ‘but if I had known how good it feels, I would never have been so afraid of it.’

He gives me a kiss at that, and pulls me in tight.

My Ani, I think, you are happy again.

I sigh, content that he has finally accepted my reassurance and forgiveness. At a touch to my cheek, I turn to look into his eyes.

‘I can only afford to be content a short while longer, Maia. We are approaching Imperial Center and when I meet my master, I will not be the man you see here,’ he warns me.

I understand this. Ani will have to hide his feelings for me and the easiest way to do that is with negative emotions. He will truly be the Sith Lord when he leaves me in a few minutes, and anything he says or does after that can show no trace or hint of his love for me.

Ani kisses me again, a gentle, lingering one, then tucks me under the covers and disappears into the ‘fresher. When he returns, he quickly armors up. I watch him quietly, not saying anything to disturb him. Before he finishes, though, he comes and sits at my side, kisses me once more, and rests a hand on my stomach for a moment. Setting my hand on his, I feel him check on our son.

‘He will be as strong, perhaps a bit stronger, in the Force than I first predicted,’ Ani tells me. ‘A fine heir for me. You have done very well, my Favorite. I am quite pleased with you.’

As he speaks, I hear the slight change in his tone, sense him shift completely into his public persona, something he did not do at the academy. It hurts a little across our bond to feel him cut off and bury his feelings for me, but I know he has no choice in this. Ani can afford no slips when he reports to the Emperor. He takes his hand off of my middle and quickly moves away to put on his vocoder, mask and helmet, but before leaving, the Sith Lord once again stands beside me.

‘Stay in bed and rest,’ he orders, brushing his gloved fingers down my cheek, ‘I will return soon.’

I watch him go, and know that he has deliberately left me here rather than let me accompany him to the hangar. Guess I am to stay out of sight and play at being sick. I stretch out with my senses and follow Ani down to his shuttle. He knows I am near, but refuses to acknowledge my presence. Stubborn man, I decide.

Don’t do anything foolish today, love, I send in a quiet thought.

I won’t, so stop fussing and rest, he scolds, before closing his mind to me once again.

Well, he is gone from the ship, so now is a good time to have a quiet think about things. I set my hand on my stomach and gently brush my senses against our child. Being able to feel him this way is totally cool and a bit frightening. Am I really ready to be a parent? Is Ani going to be able to handle this? Somehow I can’t see him being able to deal with a cranky baby in the middle of the night. I guess we are both going to learn just how secure and strong our relationship really is in the next year or so.

I pull the covers tight around me. Our relationship. Now there is a real minefield. It is now quite apparent to me that Ani has repeatedly lied to and deceived me without any regrets or second thoughts whatsoever. I suspect he has tampered with my memories as well, whenever it suited his purposes. Why? Does he trust me so little or is he so insecure that he feels it necessary to manipulate me in such a way?

He’s a Sith Lord, I remind myself, you accepted that fact weeks ago. Of course he will act as he sees fit and never think twice about it either. I won’t give him any reasons to be unhappy with me, I decide. If I am a good little concubine, he will treat me well. Only when I misbehave does he ever get angry with me.

My thoughts wander back to our child. Ani is quite pleased with his son. Perhaps he will ease up a bit and be more lenient with me now that he has the heir he wants so badly. I just hope the Emperor will leave my son and I alone.

I let out a quiet sigh and promise myself that I will do my best to properly look after myself and my child. Regular meals for me from now on and no more arguing with Ani about what I am supposed to have, either. Hopefully I will be spared the horrid morning sickness my poor mother went through with all of her pregnancies.

Time to get up and pick a book to read. I toss the sheets aside and swing my legs over the edge of the bed. A hiss passes my lips as I feel the ache between my thighs. Ani was right. It was too soon to fool around like we just did. Well, it was necessary and he needed that from me despite the discomfort I will have to put up with for a day or two. Another bath then, a leisurely soak should help a bit.

Hours later, I am propped up in bed with my photo album, looking at pictures of my family. How I miss them all. My parents will never see this grandson of theirs. I wonder what he is going to look like. Ani predicted eyes like his own and my hair, but he also thought this child would be Force-blind. Maybe my love knows and will tell me if I ask him.

I hear the door open and Ani’s low chuckle as he steps into the bedroom. He seems to be in a reasonably good mood.

‘Your meeting must have gone as planned,’ I tell him.

‘Not exactly as I had planned, my Favorite, but well enough,’ the Sith Lord admits. ‘The Devastator will be leaving for Jazbina once the Interdictor accompanying us is ready to jump.’

He sits beside me on the bed and looks at the pages I have my album open to. With a casual flip, he turns to the photos of Michael.

‘My heir, our son, will look much like your older brother, but with my eyes, and softer features,’ Ani calmly reveals.

Oh. So he must have picked up on my musings before he came in the room and he has obviously been looking into the future again. My thought produces another quiet laugh from him.

‘You can’t hide anything from me, Maia, not when you are near,’ Ani teases.

I give him an irked look and set my album aside on the floor. Ani is sitting in just the right position, so I tackle him, flattening him against the bed. My love is used to this from me now and puts up no fight. He knows it is just my way of having a bit of fun. I lie beside him next, rest my head on his shoulder and let my fingers run across his chest.

>Sith Lord who is mine,< I tell him in Sith.

>My Lady, my Favored one, mother of my heir,< he responds.

Mother. I grow quiet at his words. Until now I had never really thought of myself that way.

‘Will I be a good mother?’ I ask, a bit worried about it all.

‘You will be fine as a mother. Stop worrying about this,’ he reassures me.

‘Easy for you to say, Ani, but I will still worry,’ I admit more to myself than him.

His hand brushes against my temple. That’s the signal from him that he needs to get up. Guess there are things for him to do before we go to this Jazbina place.

‘Before I go to Jazbina,’ he corrects. ‘You will stay on board the Devastator once we are in system. I will be transferring to the Interdictor.’

I start to protest, then close my mouth with a snap. No point in arguing. He has made his decision.

‘Well, I can at least look at the files on the place,’ I decide. ‘Maybe it’s just a boring hunk of rock like most terrestrial planets are.’

‘Good idea, my Favorite. You might be able to give me some insights into the local politics and culture that may be useful to me,’ the Sith Lord decides as he pushes himself up and off the bed.

‘I meant to look as something fun to do, Ani, not for work,’ I scold. He always finds some way to put my talents to use, even when I don’t want to do it.

‘There is no rush,’ he tells me, ‘Jazbina is in the Outer Rim. We won’t be there for another two days at top speed.’

I watch him disappear from the room. Ten minutes later he returns with a datapad in hand which he sets on the table. Another trip out and he is back with the jug and glasses. Dinnertime, I guess. A moment later, I am sipping on a glass of my favorite flavor of supplement drink. Ani pours me a full second glass when I finish, to my surprise.

‘Orders from Trever in Medical, Maia. You need two at each meal now, for the next couple months. After that you will be on a different diet from mine,’ Ani reveals. ‘Favorite mine, you will also need a solid meal each day in addition to that, so I will take you to the Senior Officers’ Club tomorrow. It will take a few days to get an autochef installed in the kitchen for you to use.’

I hope the visit to that place for lunch will turn out better than my only other venture in having a meal outside his quarters. Ani catches my hand, gives his head a small shake and pushes the datapad towards me. Curious, I pick it up. Files on Jazbina for me to read and comment on. A quick scroll through reveals some of them are classified, too. Oh. He is quite serious about wanting my opinion then. I look up and into his eyes.

‘You are more accurate in your predictions and better as an analyst than any of my current staff. I trust you won’t disclose anything marked as classified to anyone,’ Ani comments.

‘No,’ I reassure him, ‘I won’t.’

‘Good. I will have other tasks for you in the future then,’ Ani states, pleased with my answer, no doubt, and the fact that I will be useful in this way.

He tries to pull his hand free of mine, but I tighten my hold and hang on. I want some reassurance from him. The Sith Lord raises an eyebrow then beckons me over with his free hand. That is all the invitation I need. I happily step around to his side and let him pull me onto his lap. With a sigh, I wrap my arms around him, rest my head on his shoulder, and try to relax.

‘Still scared of being a mother?’ my love quietly asks.

I give him no answer, just snuggle in a bit. Scared? Definitely. Maybe I should have delayed being a parent until we were both more settled with one another. Now, I am not sure of him or, even worse, myself. Rushing this was a mistake, but I will never admit that out loud.

His fingers pull my hair away from my face, then trace a path down my cheek. I hear Ani sigh deeply, overriding his respirator. He’s thinking about something, I guess, and it’s not very pleasant, either.

‘Look at me, Maia,’ he orders, shifting himself a bit so I have no choice but to do so.

I stare into his bright blue eyes which are no longer calm, but a bit troubled. There really is something bothering him. The Sith Lord once again touches my cheek, and I wait quietly for him to start speaking.

‘Choice is a luxury neither one of us had in this matter,’ Ani finally admits. ‘My master expected you to give me an heir as soon as possible. To postpone it another month would have drawn his attention to you once again. I could not risk that, my Favorite.’

I say nothing, for a moment, just look at him, then blurt out, ‘What do you mean postpone it another month?’

Ani shifts a bit and it is apparent that he does not want to answer my question. I think a moment. The Sith Lord had claimed he knew I would get pregnant that first night we spent together in his quarters, but that, I now realize, was the wrong time in my cycle. Another one of his tests, I assume, to see how I would react. Wait a minute. I freeze in his arms. He had spoken with the Emperor the next morning and given me the choice of when that afternoon. So, Ani must have flouted his master’s wishes and generously given me a month to adjust to my new life without a pregnancy to deal with and complicate matters. But, I think to myself, what if I had tried to delay things longer?

‘Then I would have tricked you like I did before, or if that failed, compelled you,’ he discloses, ‘distasteful as that is, and altered your memories afterwards to conceal what I had done.’

He looks away from me with that admission, obviously uncomfortable with having made it. Compelled with the Force. Rape by another name. Ani had been quite prepared to do that if I had continued to refuse him the first night I was on the Executor. I shiver at that thought and he holds me closer in reaction. Put it out of your mind, Maia, I decide. It didn’t happen and at least he is honest enough to tell you why he might have had to resort to it.

‘Ani,’ I tell him, ‘it’s alright. It doesn’t matter now and you didn’t need to tell me that.’

The Sith Lord returns his gaze to me, no longer troubled, but he still looks concerned. Before he can say anything, I give him a quick kiss and rest my forehead against his. Two days in hyperspace, he had said. Time enough for us to sort out how we both feel about the situation. Right at the moment, though, there are those files to look at. I start to move off his lap, but Ani has other ideas. He lifts me up as he stands and carries me over to the bed. A few minutes later, he is leaning against the wall with me at his side and we are both doing our best to share the datapad.

A few things are obvious about Jazbina’s culture from the start. It is very similar to India in many ways, so I tell Ani how caste systems work. If he behaves as if he is the ruler’s equal, the people will react to him as if he is. Another more worrying aspect is their addiction to live ‘reality’ type broadcasts. I remember those sorts of programs from home. The Sith Lord will have to be very careful that he does nothing in front of the cameras which might cause him problems with the local population. The planet is strongly pro-Empire, and I doubt that my love will have much trouble with the Rebellion there, but I still warn him to be cautious anyway.

It is late in the evening now, but Ani still has work to do in his office. I look up from my book as he replaces his helmet. He will return in a couple hours, long after I have fallen asleep. Tomorrow I will look at those files in more detail, and then we will have a quiet talk. I feel his fingers run down my face and smile up at him.

‘Don’t stay up too late, Favorite mine,’ he orders.

I merely smile at his fussing and watch him go.

Part 5

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