The Alliance believed itself fuelled by righteousness. Oftentimes
it seemed to be running on hate.
C h a p t e r O n e
a minute he thought his vision hummed, but it was just the blood rushing
through his ears.
Lights pulsed overhead in time to the
beat of a bruised heart. They were moving so fast, screaming across his
vision. Lights like an airbus rushing over his head. Lights like lasers
grazing across his cockpit. Lights like the reactor wall shaft skittering
past. Light then dark then light then dark. Like life, where all things
condescend into right and wrong, light and dark. Darkness when Owen and
Beru lay smouldering in the desert. Light with Leia in his arms after the
Death Star died. It had always been this way, he was sure; the certainty
of all things classified under the labels of 'good' and 'evil. Yet now
suddenly, strangely, there was grey between the lightness and the dark.
Grey when they sat in the frigid nights on Hoth; grey when Leia pouted
and glared at him, lowly commander-pilot-farmboy Skywalker, when he disagreed
Lights of a reactor wall shaft tripping
past; dark of Vader reaching for him; grey pain of screaming until your
blood ran from red to raven.
Somewhere deep, deep down there was
a little melancholic thought that laughed at the absurdity of the revelation
that there was an existence beyond the explicit, and it loved to hide in
the darkness and pretend nothing had changed. So then there was only the
So dark. So, so, so black and hot...
his true left hand and his burnt right stump flailed in the darkness searching
for the crack in his dark little world. Because there had to be a crack
here, somewhere, if he looked hard enough. And then this despair, this
self-loathing, this terror wouldn't be complete, couldn't wrap around his
throat and keep on tightening; the outstretched, imploring black hand couldn't
keep squeezing... There was a crack, somewhere. There was. It was how the
light got in if you just knew how to look for it.
"Leia, it's dark. Why is it so dark?"
He was shivering and laughing and crying and... someone was clawing at
his hand, his free hand, his only hand, like they would tear it away from
Take it. Please take it. Take it
"I don't see anything." His voice tasted
of bile and salt and metal. "I see him." His lips tasted of fear.
"Shh... shush Luke... He's not here.
He's not here."
A soft voice like warmed honey and
mandarin breathed the mantra over him, over and over and over. And he was
falling, over and over and over; down the shaft, lights flickering past.
Down past sanity and further. It was the only sane thing to do.
And he was falling still, lights flickering.
But he was grinning, not screaming. Falling from Vader, dear Father, dear
Old Dad; man he'd worshiped in the desert and monster he'd confronted in
I am your father. It was beautiful.
So simple, so simple like Luke, and so destructive like Luke, spawn of
"He's not my... he is my..." Lips fumbled
for the word and Leia was cooing over him, hand brushing frantically at
his brow like she would push the fever away. Cold and heat settled around
him over the blanket she'd tucked around his blinking, unseeing body. He
was so cold. He was so hot. He was shivering in the burning confusion.
The lights stopped, trembling, and
he cried with laughter when he didn't die. "Leia! I flew!"
"Shush, Luke. You're going to be fine.
Please; be fine. Hang in there."
Clinging to cold metal pipework, wind
shoving and barrelling full throttle into a battered, but not beaten, body.
Hang in there... hang on... don't let go Luke. Come with me, rule with
me, but don't let go.
He giggled furiously and Leia clamped
a hand over his mouth to stop the mocking, empty noise, letting a little
sob of despair leave her own lips.
Rule as father and son? Father was
dead. Dead dead dead. Dead Owen, Dead Beru, Dead Ben, Dead Dad.
"Ouch." That stung, what was that?
"Le-... Le-... Le-ia? Father?"
The light was all gone, all gone now.
And that burned. He sat bolt upright. "Leia! I know!" He clawed
blindly for her, found a handful of sleeve and clung to it. "I know."
Leia was so quiet, was she even there?
Had they left him on his own? Alone? Please no! "Leia!"
"Leia! I know!"
Small, strong hands pressed him back
down and he struggled as voices mused in angry tones around him, smothering
him along with the blackness. He was sucking in breath and he was throwing
up despair. Leia was holding his hand, his sweaty, shivering hand, and
asking him to be quiet.
"Qui-et?" He forced his lips around
the word. "But... Leia... I know... he's..."
Sweet, soft, sweat-scented skin touched
his lips as she placed a finger to his mouth to quiet him.
Right, farmboy shouldn't speak now.
He was in the presence of a Princess. Stupid, callow, tow-headed
farmboy wasn't worthy of her highness.
Farmboy; that was all he was. Please,
let that be all. All he was... all he was doing now... choking in the
sand of Tatooine, burning in her heat, dying... please let him be dying.
Please don't wake.
Ha! Ha! Who are you calling now, huh?
You're so alone, you're so alone!
Tears were spilling from his sore eyes
and skin brushed skin, wiping them away as voices swarmed angry around
"... if he knows... something..."
"... have to... get him... he knows...."
"... might be.... vital... might....
must tell us..."
Honey tones; sweet, silky, smooth honey
tones bit out with sharp little teeth.
"He's been through enough! Let him
How could anyone deny her, beautiful
Leia? Beautiful, tortured, hateful Leia. She hated Vader. Dear dad, how
she hated him. How she must hate him.
"Leia, I gotta..." He broke into hysterics
that tore at his throat, dry from screaming denial, so ready to scream
acceptance. Father! Dad! Daddy! He giggled furiously at the thought
of Darth Vader bouncing him on his lap as Beru once had and... "Ouch!"
What was that? What was... what was...
What was, was dead; was gone, was left in a black cloak and mask and called
Big, brave, role-model dad. How he
loved him, cherished him, adored him. How he hated him, loathed him, despised
Anakin Skywalker... Sky-Walker... hadn't
he flown? Hadn't he swooped down on him above the carbonite pit? Hadn't
he been so graceful, like the Krayt Dragon so lethal and... and... wonderful.
Hadn't he? Hadn't he flown! Wasn't he the great pilot Ben, old liar
Ben, had told him he was?
"Luke, What did Vader tell you?"
Huh? Who was that? Hers was a voice
as caustic as blaster back-wash, bitter and sour and... not Leia. Not Leia?
Who then? One of the others, others that hung around his bed whilst he
sweated out the fever under dark-bright lights.
"I... he flew..."
"Tell us Luke, what is so important?"
No no no!! My secret, my secret!
Not yours! Don't you see, it's all I've got left! Nothing’s right, anymore!
Nothing will ever be right! Was I always so wrong? So wrong, wrong, wrong.
He only whimpered in reply and tried
to roll away from the demanding voice.
"Leave him... let him... sick...."
"Father?" Help me! Help... I... They
want to know! They want to know! They know!
His crying voice caught in his throat
and the reply lay there waiting... praying... Help me!
Vader's voice, his mind-voice, didn't
hiss. It was beautiful, it was twin suns sinking in the desert, and cool
water in the noon heat. Hot and cold and wonderful. But how it hurt him.
Was that father? Was that... the others
Asking him, questioning him, jabbing him with needles whilst Leia, beautiful,
strong, soft Leia did nothing?
//Luke, you must not tell them.//
Panic. That was panic, and fear and
something he added himself. Lust? Lust to tell them. Let them take
this burden! Let them feel this fever!
Leia? Father? Vader? His mind burned
in confusion; his skin burned in torment and no one was helping
//Little Jedi... shush... quiet
He couldn't, he couldn't 'shush'...
couldn't. His mind dragged and pulled and hauled the words into his throat
with the sting of more drugs in his arm whilst he was screaming ’stop
it, stop it, stop it!’ in his head.
No, no, no! My secret! Mine! And I
don't believe it – I don't! It's not true! It's not even true!
They were so quiet, suddenly still,
and his breath wheezed in the cold med bay air. Dark figures, loomed over
him (but there's no light to see) a hand reached out as if to touch his
cheek (but there's no light to see!) but instead it grabbed him along his
jaw and he felt that. Stars... stars it burned! Stop it!
The grip tightened and a fingernail
grazed along the bone.
It was so quiet, so shocked, so deliciously
unbelieving that he smiled. He smiled. And the grip got tighter.
The face loomed over him, short auburn hair blazing bright with fury (but
there was no light for him to see by...)
//Luke you must get out... get up...//
That was Vader's voice; father's voice. He let it bath him; so cold against
his burning skin; against the woman with the burning hair.
"Mon, you're hurting him!"
She had to, she had... to... what?
Had to hate him. That was right. Had to hate him. His beautiful, sweet,
adored Leia. Her honey tones were sour and sickly. Her choked, desperate
pleas for her friend - farmboy, Sith-spawn, Little Jedi - were dying
away in his hearing. He couldn't see. He couldn't hear. Couldn't taste;
couldn't feel. His tongue was too big in his dry mouth and his mind too
sickened to damn himself any more but...
//Father, they know...//
C h a p t e r T w o
hands slammed down like thunderbolts, and it was a miracle that the synthesised
Alderaani Maplewood conference table didn't crack open under the force
of her denial.
The small council, Mothma, Ackbar,
Rieekan, regarded her with expressions set in stone from a million trials
across a thousand worlds. Pity, contempt, disillusionment. The oval table
rocked again as she leaned forward towards the three, knowing the shocking
red of her eyes and the tears crystallised on her cheeks like Hutt trails
made her look frightful. That was better than looking frightened; better
than the terrified truth behind the curtain of long chestnut hair.
"No. No more questions. He's been through
Mothma was the only one to shift in
her seat, but not from squirming under Leia's formidable gaze. She met
her expression with one of equal steel and her voice was laced with poisonous
"Commander Skywalker has withheld...
valuable information, Princess. He must answer our questions." Her
tongue had the sting of the frosty kiss of a Hoth night against bare skin,
but Leia burned with confusion and desperation.
"At least wait until he's healed!"
Only force of will was keeping the tears from pricking her eyes, again,
as she felt the mass confusion of the past few hours fall heavy on her
Her plea was met only with silence.
"You're not going to heal him?" she
asked, incredulous. The room didn't even shiver, and the stern expressions
never wavered, even when she reeled from the realisation to sit back heavily
in her chair. Her hands shook and she grasped them firmly together in front
of her, skin as white as bleached bone. The frosty looks she got from those
gathered in the room nipped with sharpened teeth against her reserve.
"He is the son of Darth Vader. He is
dangerous. His ill health is our ally."
Her voice was so cold, so cruel, and
for a minute Leia was back in the Emperor's throne room, meeting those
putrid yellow eyes for the first time as she stared their revered leader
down. Mon gazed sadly at her, but her eyes swam with the same loathing
Leia had witnessed there, and that she herself reserved for few people
in this turbulent galaxy but could well understand.
"We don't know that."
The words seemed to dance in the frigid
air, laughing, and Leia's lips were turning blue with the cold, the creeping
feeling of the inevitable pressing her hands behind her back. She couldn't
let go, though. Luke was her friend, he was a hero, a saviour, a...
Stars... he was the spawn of her
worst enemy. The thought of that black death-mask, those unrelenting
strong hands and gravelled, emotionless voice, sent shivers of hate running
up her spine.
Luke... You can't be his son! Did
you betray us? Were you always here to kill us, did you know he would take
Han? Did you want him to?
She choked on the thoughts that she
couldn't push back like she could the sentences she refused to voice. Had
he betrayed them? Was he a traitor? Would he have slipped the knife into
their back whilst they danced in celebration?
How can you think that! He's risked
everything for you! And he's lost everything now, even the
father he so idolised!
The image of that slight, forlorn form
curled up on the medical frigate both tore at and reassured her troubled
heart. She hated to see him in such pain, so confused, so devastated, but
she silently thanked the Force that he was in no fit state to live up to
his heritage right now. When had it come to this? When had she become scared
of the boy she had been proud to call her best friend? Had it been in her
fits of tears over the past few hours, or sometime before that? Sometime
when his Jedi heritage was revealed in those spooky little coincidences?
Rieekan slid a datapad towards her
bloodless features and she gingerly looked down at it, tears pushed back
"We have records of Darth Vader's genome,"
he said, tone emotionless. Leia reached out a hand, forcibly stopping the
shaking. She picked it up off the high, polished table, seeing her own
small, scared features reflected in the dark wood.
"It's too close to Commander Skywalker's
for them not to be related." Mon spoke, clearly savouring Leia's reaction.
Her hand closed around the datapad
before she threw it back to bounce along the tabletop. How she hated irrefutable
proof that left no room for even a last hope.
"Luke has never done anything against
us." She pleaded with them, not caring for any loss of dignity. "You cannot
blame him for his father’s actions."
The room was silent, air conditioning
"Look at him! Go look at him!
He's not Vader's son in anything more than medicine!" Was she saying those
words? She, who had thrown herself onto the bed in her small quarters and
sobbed through the long, pre-dawn hours, mourning the loss of a dear friend
and hating what had replaced him? So hateful. Hate as powerful as that
she felt for Vader, almost masking her... well, yes, her love for
Love? Not like Han, but it was still
there, still deep, still unyielding to even this revelation, still incriminating
in front of these Three who would condemn her friend, friend, for
"He's in pain, Mon! Look at
him! This has devastated him."
She knew it; she could see it in those
tired, feverish blue eyes. What had Vader said to him? What had he asked
of him? And why hadn't Luke gone with him? All he had here was persecution;
a group he had fought and suffered for who refused to even treat him.
Mothma's auburn hair was swept back
to reveal eyes as hard as boron-armour. She was not the woman Leia was
used to following and respecting. All she was now was a manifestation of
the fear the rebels had for Vader. The Alliance believed itself fuelled
by righteousness. Oftentimes it seemed to be running on hate.
"We don't know that he wasn't aware
of this all along. "
That was ridiculous; that was outrageous;
that was what she had been thinking not a minute before.
"I doubt he would have destroyed the
Death Star had he known. I don't think he would have gone three
years as a Squadron Commander, destroying the Empire, if he'd known." Oh,
her tone was absolutely icy now, even Mon couldn't match that. Even
Hoth would tremble at those tones.
Mothma flinched a little then shook
her head. "We can't know for sure. We must question him further."
Silence. They all knew they would have
to go through her to get to Luke. They all knew the implications. They
were all willing to do that.
"Leia, have a care. You're only incriminating
yourself by doing this."
Ackbar's long, spindly hands pleaded
with her, but all she felt was Mon's contemptuous stare roaming over her.
They were out for blood. They were all out for blood: Luke's blood, and
her blood if she was offering. Vader had hurt the Alliance too much, hunted
them down too relentlessly, murdered and tortured to find -
- to find his son.
"What is this about?" she challenged
them, and tired white hands spread fingers over the dark wood of her homeworld.
Alderaan. Vader's glove-prints were still heavy on her shoulders,
and Luke's kiss of congratulations was still tickling her cheeks. "What
do you really want from him? Answers, or revenge?"
Mothma spitted Leia with a stare that
reminded the Princess why this woman was leader of the Rebellion – she
had an unwavering determination and a complete righteousness ingrained
in her, from auburn roots to flowing white dress hem.
"If Skywalker knew, then he was undoubtedly
sending Vader information of our whereabouts. The blood of thousands of
rebel soldiers and innocents is on his hands-"
"Spare me the speech, Mon. This is
"IF he did NOT know, then it still
remains that Vader tracked us down because of him. And we cannot
allow that to continue."
All thoughts of rebuttals died on Leia's
lips at the implications. "What are you planning...?" she asked, disturbed
by the shaking in her voice. Had she been able to claim Force sensitivity,
she might have been extremely concerned about the dread crawling around
her stomach. As it was she had a very bad feeling about this. Mothma was
staring at her like a Hutt eyeing a pile of shining credits in need of
counting, lustfully waiting for her to reach the conclusion.
"The charge is treason, Leia."
Treason. This was a war: this was a
military operation. And for treason there was only one penalty. Death.
"No!" The word exploded from her lips
and fell upon the Three like an avenging angel until they froze in their
seats. Ackbar's long hands twitched nervously. "NO! You can't do that!"
"Leia, we will have you removed if
you don't calm yourself." Her voice was steel and tannin.
"Calm?! You're about to kill
the Alliance's Hero! He destroyed the Death Star, he's our only
Jedi!" Well... semi-Jedi... Jedi-Sith-Force-sensitive child anyway.
Rieekan barked in distaste, "And just
where do you think he got that particular talent?"
Mothma waved him down and loomed over
Leia. "The charge is already filed."
"What!! You can't!-"
"You can't kill someone for their family!"
She felt all the arguments that she had prepared to persuade them to start
trusting Luke again crumble like Tatooine sand between her fingers, leaving
her mouth with a gritty taste. "You-"
"We're not," Ackbar put in, and he
was the only one that had adopted a solemn tone. Leia whirled on the Mon
There's something not right here...
they look honest, but...
"Explain," she growled. Yes she was
bordering on insolence; yes she was edging closer to getting arrested or
at least thrown out, but no she didn't care.
"Commander Skywalker went AWOL for
well over two months he-"
"I'm sure he had a reason." Her voice
was suddenly quiet, and she was grasping for confidence in front of these
three, literally judge, jury and executioner.
"And you still don't want us to question
him?" Mothma asked.
Leia felt as if the room around her
was trembling, but it was just the shaking of muscles in her arms supporting
the heavy burden of lost trust above the table. She forced her legs to
bend and allow her to sit a little ungracefully back in her seat.
"When you're trying to persuade
the inconvincible, always show utter confidence in your own convictions,
my daughter. Your strength of will may be their undoing."
Leia drew on the teachings of her father
to try and save Vader's son. Why did that seem to mock her so much? She
set her face in a stony mask of disgust for those three arranged in front
"I know where Luke was," she
said, voice back to the dusky honey tones they were used to confronting.
There was silence for a moment and
then, "And you did not think to tell us?" Mon leaned in very close and
Leia flashed her a defiant glare. Hadn't these people been her friends
yesterday? She could barely remember.
"I don't know exactly where, but I
believe he was training to become a Jedi."
Again, more silence, more steady singing
'humm's of the air conditioning.
"It makes no difference. As an officer,
he should have informed his superior-"
"-who died on Hoth-"
Mon Mothma openly glared at her now.
"Please let me finish before you attack, Princess." White teeth bared against
thin lips in something that might once have been a smile. "As I was saying,
had this occurred, request for leave would have been filed. It was not.
Commander Skywalker told no one, he just left. He left Rogue Squadron without
a Leader. How many of his squad died on the jump out because there was
no Luke Skywalker to lead them?" The sting in her tongue was becoming strangely
Leia sat still for several heartbeats
that throbbed loud in her ears. Judge, Jury, Executioner. "Any excuse
will do, won't it."
No one answered. No matter; it hadn't
been a question. They wanted blood, needed to swap Rebel pain for
Imperial, and saw a wonderful, enticing opportunity in Luke Skywalker...
"Morale will fall if you execute the
troopers' Hero," she pointed out, clinging to that last hope; Luke's victories
for the small band that would destroy him. Did he even realise his danger,
curled up in the grips of a fever on the ship flying shotgun to this diplomatic
There was a horrible, drawn silence
that made her feel like the muscles in her neck were being slowly tightened
like the finest of Alderaani stringed instruments. They were playing some
terrible game with her.
How did she know that? Was it in Ackbar's
clenched hands, or the pinched lips of General Rieekan? A terrible grating
on her nerves and her vision swam with images she hadn't conceived running
through her mind. A cold truth hit her like winter rain on the open Palace
terraces and she pushed through the lies these three had been spinning
in front of her for the past ten minutes.
This won't be official.
"Luke Skywalker will be listed as missing
in action?" She spat bitterly. Rieekan could barely look at her as Leia
almost leapt over the table to grab them all and try and shake some sense
into them. "Why try to deceive me?! Why not just tell me you're going to
murder him? Why?"
She could see that something was working
behind those intelligent eyes of Mon Mothma, but she couldn't pull the
facts from the woman in front of her. Why? Why? Why try and persuade her
they would take an official route when she knew... she felt they
had no intention of a trial for Commander Skywalker.
No one spoke, no one looked like they
would answer her questions. No one told here what they really planned.
No one told her they felt they couldn't possibly wait long enough for a
trial, but they didn't need to. It was clear to see on Rieekan's screwed-up
What's going on here, Mon? What
aren't you telling me? What have you got planned?
"I think we have concluded our discussions
here. Luke Skywalker will be questioned further, and a trial prepared."
Prepared. Prepared. Not carried
out, though. You have absolutely no intention of going through
with one, do you?
She stood shakily and straightened
the white ship-suit, her gut churning with disgust; more disgust even than
she had felt when she recognised the truth that Luke was Vader's son. Disgust
that was pure and undiluted as her gaze tore into those she had respected
not a day ago, and who now plotted the death of her friend and then tried
to pretend that they would even bother to do it officially.
She fixed Mon Mothma with a soul-shattering
stare that made the older woman flinch a little.
"I have always stood for justice. I
will see that it is carried out," she said icily, skating the lines of
treason herself, as she turned on her heal and stalked from the frigid
room, colder even than the Imperial Senate had been in its last days.
* * * *
He drifted in macabre nightmares, curled
up on the med bunk and clutching at sheets with his one good hand.
Something warm brushed his cheek and
he opened seared eyes to the soft touch. //Leia...//
Something comforting embraced his mind
and he tried to push it away. //Father...//
"Le-ia. It hu-rts." He was biting his
lip with the fury of her touch and the words were only a little more mangled
than his vision of her. This couldn't be his Princess Leia stood at his
bedside, gently brushing the lonely tears of frustration that had slipped
past his resolve. Couldn't be her tear-streaked face and eyes red like
twin sunsets on distant Tatooine, so, so far away now.
Where were her beautiful rosy cheeks?
Why was she so pale and cold? Why did she stand so far him from even as
she tried to comfort him?
He should be used to the fire on his
skin by now. It had been there for so long now that he could barely remember
when it hadn't existed; he'd just lain here in bright med-bay lights for
so long. Just lain like a stupid farmboy.
Stupid farmboy. Shoulda' stayed on
the farm. Shoulda' kept on farming, stupid farmboy.
The fire was Owen's face flushed crimson
in horror at what his own little horror had done; little Jedi horror. The
fire was Biggs burning in the superheated atmosphere of a battered x-wing.
The fire on his skin was confusion and begging for help and desperation
mixed about equally. And it burned even brighter with his father's rage
at the rebels' treatment of their 'hero'.
Yesterday, the thought of admitting
his father was alive would have laughed and danced around him, pointing
and screaming hysterically. Today, it was strangely mute and only left
a muffled sting in its wake.
He shifted as little fingers brushed
hair from his eyes and he tried to focus on his silent, tearful best friend.
The fingers stroked him like they would a pet, oh-so protectively, oh-so
absent-minded, and he saw her eyes flicker to the starscape beyond the
No, no, no... not starscape. Hyperspace.
They were running again, still running;
ever since they had put him here, they had kept on running. Running from
him, running far from his questions, his cries to help him; running from
the cold, dispassionate, blank stares of the stars to the cover of hyperspace.
And Leia was running too, in her mind.
She was tripping and falling all the way, but she was still running from
him, stroking his cheek like she actually cared when all she wanted was
Freedom from him, freedom from
Vader's son. And freedom was a word a rebel rarely used without thinking.
He thought perhaps those little mocking
thoughts of his acceptance might have just matured and nodded sagely. He
couldn't really tell, his perceptions merely mirages in the waves of heat
surging through his weary body.
Still, he knew what was on her mind.
Her eyes flicked down to him and he
tried to rise onto an elbow, but all he got was the nauseating spin of
the world as she both approached and moved further from him. He didn't
think those big brown eyes had ever looked quite so sad.
The words caught in his ears and rampaged
through his feelings. Gone? Gone? Gone like Biggs, Owen, Beru? Or
gone like Ben, still there haunting him? Or... gone like father, still
there tormenting him?
His fuzzy tongue burned as he licked
parched lips, wanting to be able to speak, wanting her help. Please!
Please make this stop!
"Vader... sold him to a bounty hunter
for Jabba," she said, voice deep with the sorrow he found himself wallowing
in and bursts of emotions erupted like super novae in his seared mind.
Hatred of Vader for taking Han, hatred of Jabba for ordering the bounty;
pity for Leia for her loss and pity for himself when he saw the love shining
in her eyes for that smuggler, perhaps even replacing the void left by
his drugged revelation.
"Shssh... don't try to speak." Again
the hand brushed his brow and subdued him. It's not like you could
make it better. It's your fault.
The thoughts were sad and immediately
rescinded, but he felt them. He crawled lower onto the mattress and just
wished for silence. But she continued speaking.
"Luke... I..." His eyes closed. Please,
don't say it! "I know it's true, they did a blood test. They..."
The disillusionment came out in a low
moan as he scrunched his eyes shut and hugged his destroyed right hand
to his chest, pressing deep against where the ache told him his heart existed.
He didn't need that, didn't need proof!
"Lea-ve me... al-one."
He didn't mean it. She knew it. She
moved to try and hug him and he tensed like she would slip a fatal shot
in his arm rather than offer comfort. When she drew him into a fierce,
protective hug he could only sob a little in protest, his voice completely
eluding him now as the pain on his skin peaked. It hurt.
He felt tears that weren't his own
roll down his back in little trails of liquid fire and he relished the
fact that his sweet Leia could still show feeling, even if not for him.
"I... I can't get them to treat your
fever, Luke. I'm sorry. They-"
Now she choked up. Luke had never heard
her so upset that she couldn't speak. He sought out her cheek with his
good left hand and wiped at the tears falling into the silence, desperately
wanting to apologise. But it hurt so much to talk, so very much. He tried
to gather the Force a little and give him strength, but it made every nerve
in his body fire until he tensed under her slight, strong arms.
She pulled away a little and seemed
to study his face then, something like determination crossing her features.
She grasped his hand as she would a weapon and looked as if she would never
Please don't... don't let go. I
can't do this... alone....
"I'm not going anywhere."
Had he sent that to her? With the immense
discipline that little Jedi Master who had seen failure written already
on his young features had taught him, he formed the words carefully on
his lips before breathing them.
"Don't cry. We-'ll get Han ba-ck."
His voice started to falter. "I'm sorr-y. I did-n't kn-ow..." He lost it
but it had been enough. She looked at him for a moment, rich chestnut hair
curling and plastered on her teary cheeks. Then she leaned in closer to
whisper with guarded breath in his ear.
"I don't care whose son you are. You're
still Luke Skywalker. I still..." She faltered as if she couldn't say it
and he knew that was true. "You're still my best friend."
His lips burned with their own fever
now. Too much... too much, too fast. She looked at him sadly before turning
around and his heart skipped as she moved away from him, long hair wafting
"Fit him with the new hand, and treat
The med droid approached a little warily
as if sensing the fire in that small frame. Luke looked on blankly as fell
back to the soft mattress.
"Madam, I've been instructed-"
"I know. I'm overruling that. Treat
him. You're a medical droid, doesn't it go against your programming to
deny him treatment?" Her voice was blistering in his ears, and he gave
a little involuntary cry as the rest of their conversation was lost to
the swirling storm of his own thoughts and pain.
She reappeared and gave a concerned
if distracted look around herself, almost nervous. Then she whispered close.
"He'll do what he can."
"Lei-a. What... wh-at are th-ey do-ing?"
He blinked, trying to force his eyes to work and understand the plethora
of emotions running over her face.
She just closed her eyes, then she
shivered a little and it passed down to his left hand in her right, making
him tremble. She brushed his forehead with her other hand and bent over,
kissing him lightly on the lips.
You're lying! Liar! You, Ben, Yoda;
liars! Tell me the truth!
The words wouldn't form and she drifted
away from him like a distracted cloud in the Tatooine sky. Don't leave
me! The door whispered shut behind her and he closed his own burnt
Nothing. Nothing? Liar.
They all lied. All of them. They had
probably all known, all of them, all along. His teeth clenched painfully
in his mouth and he felt his hands balling into fists of frustration, wanting
desperately to get away from everyone who lied. But they all lied.
//I did not.//
His breath went from hot to cold as
he passed into the shade of his thoughts, to the darker areas he tried
not to tred to often.
//Father?// How it still burned
to think the word. More torment than his tortured skin endured. But his
feverish mind refused any other label.
//Rest now, Little Jedi. Rest and
I will find you.//
Panic stirred in his gut and he could
do nothing but blink his eyelids furiously in denial.
//I don't want you to find me!//
he threw back into those shadows. Those cool, calm, deliciously comforting
The voice that returned was almost
amused. //Then why do you keep calling to me, my son?//
Calling? Calling? He wasn't... he was...
he was... he was a Dark Lord's son. Calling for his father.
It was an order and stubbornness kicked
in like an afterburner. He pressed his left palm over both eyes and tried
to stop the light from burning him further. //No! What's going on? Tell
me. You know! Everyone always knew. Don't lie to me.//
Everyone always lied. Vader would be
There was a pause like frustration
loosed on the wind with a sigh and Luke shivered, wanting the cold to wrap
him up further.
//I have never lied. They
want revenge from me and will take it from you.//
Revenge? From him. Panic rose in his
stomach as hot as the med bay air and he was struggling to breathe as another
sting pricked his arm. Eyes flittered open as the droid retreated with
//Revenge? Kill me? Kill me?! I
Hot indignation and cold realisation
were enough to make him nauseous as the sedative pulled him gently down
with sorrow into the cold arms of sleep. It was so sweet and invigorating
and he relished it as the reply came back to him, fuzzing and fading.
//Tell me where you are, my son.
I will not let them take you. I will not-//
- But he wasn't even capable
of listening anymore.
C h a p t e r T h r e e
Mothma visualised the small packet of pain suppressants almost wistfully
as she continued to keep a mask of indifference on her face.
The headaches had started barely a
month ago, after a brief, and in retrospect foolish, trip to Coruscant
in hopes of initiating peace talks. She should have known better than to
believe Palpatine would even consider making concessions to the Alliance.
But she hadn't been able to resist going and trying to soothe out relations
between the warring parties. Nothing had been soothed – only a little pride
ruffled, and she had ended up with a swift dismissal and a debilitating
illness for her troubles. And the pain had steadily been beating a path
through her sanity.
Mon had always been focused, always
identified her target and never lost sight of it until she achieved it;
the political gundark that never let go once it got a bite. That was not
true anymore. Now she had such conflicting thoughts that sometimes she
lay in the stark starlight of her darkened stateroom and felt like screaming
in a very un-senatorial fashion at her contradictory, belligerent thoughts.
The four hour window for the suppressants
was never enough, and the medics just shook their heads in bewilderment
at her condition. It was bizarre, disturbing and left her lying in a darkened
room clutching her head in pain far too often. Clutching it much as the
young commander-turned-sithspawn did now under the ministrations of Onebee's
Watching the slight, blonde-headed
boy writhe and blink back tears of frustration did nothing to quell the
pain beginning to form in the back of her mind, but it gave her surprising
satisfaction to see him struggling as hard with his own errant thoughts
as she was often doing these days. The pain was severe enough for him to
express it audibly and she felt a twinge of twisted jealousy that she could
do no such thing lest the Council realise something was wrong with their
She focused again on his reactions;
the flushed skin, wide blue eyes and shaking hands. Despite Princess Organa's
attempts to get him treatment, he was failing miserably at refusing their
questions. That, too, gave her a queer satisfaction that made her lips
stretch across bared teeth into a small smile, feeling lustful revenge
rise inside her where before there would have been pity. Oh, but it was
good to see Vader fail at something. One Vader, or another.
She would have to have a stern word
with that little firebrand of a Princess latter about the replacement of
his hand. Or perhaps sooner, given the disappointing outcome of this little
ask-the-traitor session. Skywalker apparently knew nothing. Nothing more
than that single truth revealed after a brief but life-altering battle
on Bespin. There was nothing to be gained here but ramblings of denial
and pleas for help.
She tilted her head to one side and
allowed her eyes to bore into him as Rieekan asked yet another question.
He blinked red eyes and the thin sheen of sweat on a feverish brow gave
his skin the pale glow of starlight. His stilted, choked voice told them
nothing new and Mon knew she should bring an end to this.
But, oh, it felt so good to
see him writhe under their questions.
That feeling both disgusted and intrigued
her and if nothing else was to come of this than to acknowledge that she
harboured these feelings of distaste for the boy then so be it. The outcome,
whether for security of the Alliance or for revenge, would be the same
no matter the motivations.
"General, I think that will be enough."
Rieekan did not reply, but Skywalker's
eyes snapped open and fixed her with a feverish gaze, locking onto hers
and holding them mesmerised. His lips curled up as he shook sweaty bangs
away from those intense blue eyes and spoke in that pained voice.
"You en-joy-ed th-at."
She refrained from the grim smile she
wanted to give him. He would be dead soon anyway so it mattered little
what he thought of her. She affected a shocked stance and then feigned
gaining control over herself again. It seemed to convince Rieekan.
"No, of course not Commander."
Of course not, Vader. I didn't
enjoy it; I relished it.
His eyes blinked and for a second they
burned clear and shed the misty look of a drugged, ill captive. They ripped
right through her, dissecting former-Senator Mon Mothma as easily as could
Palpatine and Vader. She shivered a little, involuntarily, and focused
on her distaste for the boy, strangely finding it difficult to conjure
it up amid feelings of misgivings.
"Y-ou nee-d to ta-ke ca-re in you-r
own thou-ghts." He blinked again and the injured, subdued youth was back
in front of her.
Snarling a little and wondering what
he meant she turned on the medical droid. "Sedate him and-" Her commlink
beeped insistently. "Mothma."
"Madam, we have exited hyperspace."
Mon regarded the general and the ex-commander
with something akin to glee as the droid injected the hypo in Skywalker's
arm. "The Imperial Fleet...?"
"We have no indication that they have
tracked us, Ma'am."
She nodded in relief and offered Skywalker
a glare as the indignation of being tracked for so long using one of their
own wormed in her gut as a true, absolute, real-Mon-Mothma emotion. But
he was already out of it, head slumped against the pillow, in no state
to offer any more Jedi tricks or insights.
"Good, thank you. Hold orbit here."
She flicked it off, the turned to Rieekan looking uncertainly at the sleeping
youth. "General, prepare the shuttle for Commander Skywalker."
The tone was authoritative and if he
had any doubts he neither voiced them nor let them show on his face. He
inclined his head in acceptance as she turned on her heel and stalked from
the small bay.
* * * *
Leia's head was in her hands when the
doorway chimed once and opened. She didn't bother to lift weary eyes at
the sound of small feet whispering across the floor, followed by the heavier
strides of troopers.
Sighing inaudibly, she forced loose
hair back from her face and let her gaze fall upon Mon Mothma, approaching
slowly in a state of intoxicated indignation.
"Princess the council agreed that Luke
Skywalker was not to be treated."
Took you long enough to find out.
Truly, no one on the council wanted to face Luke Skywalker anymore,
no longer their callow-hero-farmboy, but son of their worst enemy save
Palpatine. How they must have whispered premonitions of the terror he would
wreak if they allowed him treatment, and how they must have given that
med room wide passage for those fears. Delicious, then, that those same
fears that kept them away had given Luke privacy enough for treatment.
She allowed herself a small, mirthless
smile and brushed the sleep from her eyes. If Mon wanted to believe she
was wiping away tears, let her.
"I don't remember taking any vote on
She rose to her feet from the desk
that was devoid of personal possessions, all of them lost on Hoth. Mothma
held no sadness in those brown eyes that gazed back as hard as hull plates
at the Princess, and her stance blazed with silent fury and expectation.
It made Leia distinctly uneasy, her skin crawling in little ripples of
confusion and disquiet.
"It was explicit," Mon spoke, her anger
thick in the already tense atmosphere of the small room. There was something
else there except indignation at having her order disobeyed... something
like a mother scolding her child and Leia thought perhaps her righteousness
was overtaking her sense of reality.
She batted the statement away with
the wave of a hand. "Are you still going to question him again? I don't
think we voted on that, either." Her tone was dusky with distaste.
Mon gave a bitter little smile that
made Leia's mouth sting. "It has already been done."
Leia's big, brown, sad eyes widened
in rage and she flicked a glance at the troopers, suddenly uneasy about
their presence. They didn't acknowledge her and she was all at once aware
of both her smaller stature and slighter build; feelings she got whenever
preparing for a fight. There was more going on here than a battle of tongues.
How she wished Chewie was here, that she hadn't insisted they leave immediately
with Lando to track Fett.
How she wished they would answer her
"There was no time to-"
"Hutt spit! Don't give me that!" Incredibly,
her finger was pointing at Mothma's chest in accusation. "Couldn't wait
to see him squirm, could you?"
For a minute something passed over
the older woman's features and Leia feared she had struck a little too
close to the truth. The air seemed to close around them in anticipation
and the room cooled perceptibly when Mon took another step into the dark.
Leia shivered involuntarily as she looked into those suddenly shallow eyes
and saw yellow flecks streak outwards like laser bolts.
"We needed answers."
"And you got none." She should really
have tried to keep the hope out of her voice there. Some trained diplomat.
But if Luke had known all along... she didn't know what she'd do. Probably
leave him as she had earlier when he'd pleaded for answers. Left him...
Oh Leia, what kind of friend are you? You weren't even there when they
She hadn't known! She hadn't! But...
it would have been so easy to guess they would do this...
Mon didn't deny her statement and relief
flooded into her like sunlight filtering into the cavernous halls of the
Royal Palace of Alderaan that Luke's father had destroyed. Instead she
leaned a little further towards Leia in a gesture that reminded of her
someone else... someone...
Starlight played across those age-worn
She twisted around to look out the
viewport and her breath caught on her teeth. They had exited hyperspace.
Strangely, she cut off her words as
the drive tail of a small rebel shuttle caught her full and absolute attention
as it arced down to the planet turning at the medical frigates feet. It
enraptured her, captured her gaze and chilled her mind. She felt the blood
begin to drain from her face as Mon stepped closer.
Leia didn't even bother to ask. She
didn't have to.
The feeling of anticipation grew around
them like Chiparca roots entangling her and anchoring her feet to the floor
whilst her mind was soaring high in panic and terror. A hand on her shoulder
that was neither comforting nor supportive gripped in the exact same spot
where Vader's glove prints still lay from the first Death Star and she
had a macabre feeling of deja vu.
It wasn't a question. Mon didn't answer
her; she gripped her shoulder harder and held her in check as Leia tried
to step towards the viewport. The troopers in her periphery never moved
as Leia trembled in her own terrified anticipation.
Beyond the small transparisteel window,
probably only a matter of a few hundred metres away, the shuttle winked
out of existence in a burst of incandescent fire that was quickly extinguished
by the cold breath of space.
It was strange, really. Had someone
asked her not ten minutes ago what she would have expected to experience
upon the death of her best friend, rebel commander Luke Skywalker, she
would probably have suggested bright, brilliant explosions; horror personified
into chaos; the fireworks of first love and first death. Something to match
the terrible tearing she felt; something that gave substance to the ripping
sound echoing in her ears and loosed in a wail of despair and disbelief.
In the actual moment though, all she
saw was a small, quickly quashed explosion no brighter than a candle blowing
Her emotions fully matched her expectations
however, and there were fireworks, loud and clear and blinding, in her
"You... you..." What was the proper
thing for the Princess of dead Alderaan, friend of dead Luke Skywalker
to say right now? Perhaps she should regain composure, stand regally and
offer something contrite about her disgust. 'You had no right to do that!'
perhaps? How about, 'you've just made a very big mistake, Mothma.' ?
No... she had other things she wanted
to say right now...
She let her anger explode brilliantly
around her and whirled on the woman restraining her, hatred solidified
by the small, thin-lipped smile she saw there. "You hutt-slime cold-hearted
Her own heart was bursting and tumbling
rapidly down through her ribcage to despair as the last embers of the shuttle
flittered away in small, dying comets. Dying... dying... Too late! Already
dead you mean!
The thought laughed so loud she was
sure her sanity had walked out of the dark, oppressive room along with
her last hopes for a good, old-fashioned happy ending; slamming the door
to anything resembling happiness in her face. Another dear, desperately
needed companion gone. Gone. Taken from her, ripped flesh-from-flesh like...
like something she couldn't quite remember but that tasted of the past;
of a mulling infant and a sad, brown-eyed face she called 'mother'.
Taken, like Mother, like Father...
The cry of his name came a little late
but it didn't lack any emotion for that. Mothma forgotten, she rammed her
fists against the transparisteel in desperation, caged. The jolt shocked
her back to the stark reality of the here-and-now and she found her arms
clawing for her revered Leader before she had any conscious knowledge
of the intent.
Mon stepped quickly backwards from
the tempest in Leia's eyes as she hurled abuse in a very un-Princess-like
manner at the woman who had betrayed her friend. The troopers, grim faces
unmoved, stepped forward to intercept her and Leia forcibly relaxed her
muscles and her voice. Getting herself arrested would do Luke no good.
Nothing would do Luke any good
The first tears ran in fiery little
rivulets down her cheeks and tasted of salt in her quieted mouth. Would
everyone she ever loved be taken from her?
Loved...? Yes, loved. Whose
son he was didn't (hadn't) matter (mattered). Whose genes
he bore (had borne) didn't change who he was (had been).
How had she ever begun to think they did?
That bitch, that cold, mean, betraying
bitch finally spoke and Leia felt disgust in her throat along with
the salt of her tears as her tone registered as triumph. "A regrettable
accident," she cooed.
Leia's fingers raked neat little slits
into the hand that tried to offer false comfort and Mon quickly snatched
it back, shocked.
Why are you shocked? What did you
expect - acceptance, understanding, thanks?
Mon's eyes flashed yellow in pain and
contempt and she fixed Leia with a gaze touched by the sick loathing she
had previously reserved for Vader's son.
Vader. Oh stars... Vader was not
going to be happy about this.
She felt a cruel little smile of her
own pass her lips and Mon startled for a second.
"You've murdered Darth Vader's son,"
she spat, hearing the grief colouring her words, shocked by the vehemence
there. "We've all heard the tales of his vengeance."
For a second, a precious second she
would cherish for a long while like a small child hugging a favoured toy
in times of darkest trouble, Mothma looked truly disturbed as if she had
not even stopped to consider that thought. Had she been foolish enough
to think Vader would stop chasing the rebels when there was no Luke to
latch on to?
"He'll chase you down all the harder
now." She felt acid on her lips. Her tears tasted of guilt and pain but
her voice tasted of revenge. She lashed out with words when the troopers
restrained her from approaching further. "Oh, Mon, what have you done?
He will not give you mere death now."
It gave Leia no comfort; couldn't begin
to patch the gaping hole in her heart, but oh, the look of terror was pure
ecstasy in a world suddenly devoid of light.
"Us." The caustic voice quivered a
little and Leia offered another mirthless smile.
"You. I hereby resign from my
post in the Alliance."
The world shook around her, trembling
at the thought that princess Leia Organa could cease being a rebel. But
this wasn't the rebellion she had fought and suffered for: this was a rebellion
which made her suffer, taking from her a truly kindred, brother-spirit.
The loss burned bright and painful and fuelled her muscles until she could
stand straight between the rebel troopers as if they were escort guards.
"I'm sure your guards won't mind escorting me to the docking bay. After
all, what use will two troopers be against the wrath of a Dark Lord of
The pale, sick face of her former leader
lost all expression and the eyes lost their yellow tint as fear settled
neatly into them. She offered no resistance when Princess Leia of Alderaan
walked in small, shaken but righteous steps from the room.
* * *
Aboard the rebel shuttle, hyperspace
throwing facets of gold and auburn across the sleeping features of Luke
Skywalker, the slim form in the pilot's uniform turned in her seat and
stood swiftly, stalking towards the 'dead' Jedi. The deck plates hummed
into the cold dark of the cockpit, the ship undamaged from the decoy explosion
of shrapnel and plastisteel set off a bare millisecond before 'jumping.
A small, pale hand checked the readout on the med bunk monitors and reassured
itself that he was still completely unconscious.
The figure moved away and began to
strip off the stiff olive-green shirt to reveal a thin black ship-suit
underneath, the trousers similarly thrown into a heap on one of the monitors
clustered around the two figures.
The last piece of her disguise, the
cap lying neatly on her head, was removed. Smiling grimly to no one but
herself in the pale backwash of hyperspace, she shook a long, fiery coil
of red-gold hair to lie loose around her shoulders.
C h a p t e r F o u r
is it?" Palpatine nudged the small, stunned body beneath his feet with
his boot, but it gave no indication other than a little, weak moan that
it felt anything. He sniffed disapprovingly. This 'thing', this weak little
forlorn figure laid out before him, gazed blankly with muddy blue eyes,
firelight caressing its cheek.
"Yes, my Master."
Mara stood to one side, gaze bright
and alert but unimposing as her Master studied his newest toy. The Skywalker
child gave a little vain attempt at movement which only brought the Emperor's
gaze back to where it lay on the soft padding in front of the hearth of
an open fireplace. The child was so small, so utterly tiny that he felt
he could take it in his hands and just... snap. If it would only get up,
the fun he could have with it! Testing just how weak it truly was, knocking
it down again and again and again. He let the pleasure of that thought
coat thin, cruel lips with a dextrose smile.
He knelt at its side, black robes pooling
over its feet, and savoured the wide-eyed stare and the terror that passed
over its lips but was never voiced. He smiled again at his Hand's swiftly
"What did you give it?"
"Just a sedative," she replied, voice
deliberately unimposing. Apparently she realised that this was a delicious
moment for Palpatine, one in which he wished to relish to every last morsel
and not be plagued by interruptions.
"The rebels seemed disinclined to treat
him. It made his capture easy."
He cackled at the obvious lack of the
word she was clearly thinking – pitifully easy. Delicious.
"Good. Mothma is better than I thought."
His words crackled darker than the fire licking at the sides of the hearth,
maw-like opening swallowing the small boy in front of it in red light and
leaving the rest of the cavernous room in shadows. Mara stayed within those
dark confines and if she wondered at his statement, she never asked.
Palpatine ran a long, cracked fingernail
across the child's cheek, watching the shivers of fear spark outwards from
its panic-stricken eyes and mingle with fire embers. This little thing...
had Vader found it so difficult to track? Perhaps it had hidden in the
smallest of holes, buried itself far from its enemy. Perhaps, but no wonder
it had been found and brought to him, by Vader or not; it burned too brightly
in the Force to stay hidden. As his hand brushed the warm cheek with fingertips
as cold as an open grave, he felt the power trickle behind them in little
rivulets released by its fear. He traced them backwards with his hands,
greedily sucking up the power released by the fear, intoxicating in its
potency, as sweet on the tongue as a matured red wine and as deep in flavour
as hot Corellian whiskey. He found his lips curling up with pleasure from
this little thing, bursting with power as did ripe fruit laden with promise
on hot summer's afternoons. The fire provided the heat; the child the power.
"Did you leave any trace?" The words
sounded drunk even to him and he laid his palm flat against the child's
face, covering those wonderful, bright, delicious eyes and let himself
swim in power such as he had not felt since... well, since Anakin.
At the momentary pause, though, he
turned and pierced his Hand with yellow eyes burning with intensity beyond
flames in the hearth. Underneath his suddenly tight hand, the youth whimpered
from the pressure closing around its temples; eyes; mouth.
She shifted her feet barely perceptibly
and met his gaze. "There was little time for planning my Master. They moved
quickly; I had to convince them to let me onto the shuttle they planned
to destroy with him aboard."
Palpatine laughed cruelly "Such an
unglamorous end for our little Jedi." His hand squeezed further, drinking
on the fear beneath his palm, the little sounds of protest ricocheting
against skin as dry parchment. Oh, yes, he had done right bypassing Vader.
He might never have had this opportunity otherwise.
She inclined her head but offered no
comment on that. Instead, her deep voice, silky like fine Alderaanian linen,
carried on her explanation, "I killed the crew, planted a shrapnel explosive
and set it of off before we jumped. I believe it fooled them."
"But you do not know?" The words bore
as deep into that hardened soul as his gaze did, his body framed in the
firelight. Outside, beyond carved stone walls and parapets, blizzards whistled
and white snow buffeted the walls in a powdery tempest as furious as his
concern that this, his... toy, might be taken from him.
The word bore no remorse, no fear.
Mara Jade had long since learnt that Palpatine did not enjoy weakness in
his servants, only submission. But it was a hard word for her even then,
bitter and small and falling on her lips like spoiled and sour crushed
fruit. He let her ponder it for a few seconds broken only by the Skywalker
child's feeble little complaints that neither paid any heed to.
"It seems I will have to contact dear
Mon to make sure you left no errors behind." He was as surprised as she
to discover no reprimand in the words. It was, perhaps, because he knew
she would have done her best and the speed of the assassination was out
of her control, or that he was preoccupied by his catch.
Mara inclined her head and, again,
asked no questions. Palpatine leered a little at that, knowing how inquisitive
she must be, both about her captive and her mission. "You wonder, don't
you, my young Hand?"
There was no sound but the crying of
the gales and the little Jedi. Then Mara stepped a little into the firelight.
"Yes, my Master."
He looked away from her for a moment
and back at the small boy, taking his hand from its face for a few seconds.
It was so bursting with power. Its reconstruction would be so utterly
delicious. Mara had carried out her orders, brought it to him with very
little delay and no interference from its father, so why not reward her?
"Do you remember a 'Peace' mission
Mothma attempted a little over a month ago?" he asked, eyes on boy. The
fire made wonderful patterns on its brow, a strange tableau of alien writing
on its face and side. The other side, the shadowed side, burned just as
brightly in his mind as he studied it, measuring, deciding how best to
break it, and then repair it. Shape it with a little pain here, a little
hope there; remake it. It would require him to knock it over again and
again and again and that he would enjoy.
"I do. Mon Mothma left rather abruptly."
Her red-gold hair burned brightly in kindred spirit with the blazing fire
and sconces dotted around the room in small pockets of light. Her tone
was as icy as the turbulent weather outside though, bitterly cold and destructive.
It was one of the things he valued her for.
"Oh yes, but not after we had a little
chat." He cackled and the fire shivered, shadows tottering around them,
drunk by the power at their feet. For itself the child barely noticed the
sudden crackling of the atmosphere in apprehension and Palpatine ran a
finger across the full lips admiringly. What a wonderful job the Alliance
had done - subdued this little Jedi so that he was ripe for the taking
with nothing more than lack of medical attention! How the little Princess
would cry to see this! How delicious her tears would taste, salty and bitter
with betrayal and loss, by far the best combination to savour in his enemies.
As he turned back to his Hand, he saw
something in her stance; a small window to her feelings quickly covered
again by an emotionless expression made cruel by the play of firelight
and the howling wind. Palpatine frowned at that but continued his explanation.
"Mon agreed that it would be prudent
to keep an eye on our little Jedi."
Would she see it – ah! There was the
twitch in the corners of her mouth- she knew there was more.
"You planted a suggestion?" she asked,
silky tones betraying no emotion.
"No... no...." Ah... he had thought
she was so close! "A mind link. Quite handy, don't you agree, to be able
to keep an eye on the Leader of the Alliance when she's running around
the rim worlds trying to hide?"
As he spoke, he continued to drink
in the fear beneath him, although to his disappointment it was subsiding
a little; the sedative dragging the small form towards unconsciousness.
Perhaps the rhythmic caress of the firelight also lulled it further. Palpatine
pursed his lips in annoyance, having not yet discovered enough of the child
to begin breaking it, or to stop revelling in his victory. His fingernail
brushed neat welts into the lips until they bled a little. That helped;
the pain brought something akin to awareness back to it and it struggled
weakly. Much better.
"Yes. You control her thoughts?" Mara
Again, when he turned back to her there
was a quickly concealed disturbance on her expression and Palpatine's frown
deepened. Annoyance bled with the boys lips and he studied the hard lines
of his favourite assassin's face, searching.
"No, merely gave her a little perspective.
Something troubles you, my dear."
She flinched, but not before her gaze
flickered to the youth on the floor. The wind seemed to grow in volume
outside the mansion walls, biting with icy white teeth at the large, velvet-draped
He tsk-tsked her mockingly and turned
back to the boy in understanding. "You dislike this?" His hands stroked
the hard line of its jaw with long white fingertips. He didn't need to
look at her to feel disgust light in that crumpled heart before being rapidly
"I have no feelings for or against
the boy," she said.
He laughed, a cruel little laugh but
it echoed in the room, bouncing off stone walls. "No, not that. This."
Deliberately opening himself to her
Force presence and the feelings she could never hide from him, he let his
hand wander down from the boy's face and to its covered chest, fingernail
softly drawing a red welt along the collarbone there.
He sensed the disgust again and wondered
at it as his fingers stroked the soft skin. It was not attraction she felt;
not compassion. It was not a sense of ownership being infringed upon, nor
even disgust at the actions themselves. It was... what was it? Hard to
say; very hard. His Mara could be so complicated sometimes, behind a steely
mask of competence she hid a turbulent storm of emotions which she never
dared acknowledge. Perhaps it was jealousy? Perhaps not.
The boy was regaining his voice, he
noted with some pleasure. It was attempting to make some plea for him to
stop. Palpatine drank it up as Mara looked on silently, the moment of indiscretion
gone as soon as the boy started to fight back, however feebly. Perhaps
it was contempt at exploiting someone who could not fight back? But her
Master did that on countless occasions. This girl was still a mystery sometimes.
His hand strayed further down, revealing
soft pale skin on the hip of the child and caressing it. It made waves
of pure, absolute terror roll off the child and into the Force, such turbulence
that the Emperor had to concentrate on maintaining a disconnection from
pure feelings and keep himself grounded in the real world, such as it was.
"I have no problems," she said, voice
"Good." He pursed his lips, believing
her. It was not the actions it was... something else.
But this had been revealing, in more
than one way. When you had your Jedi child subdued at your feet, how did
you go about breaking it? Oh, he could hit it, maim it, knock a little
blood out of it to colour his walls. But there were little stirrings of
doubt in his mind, nibbling at the corners of his half-formed ideas like
vermin. Doubts that said this child wouldn't submit simply to pain. He
could offer it riches and power, but it plainly didn't want that. What
was left? Where was the soft spot he could prod until it burst and released
that power tenfold to what he felt from it now?
It blinked up at him with sad blue
eyes, lips trembling. "St-op."
The voice was small and cracked through
a weeks worth of fever and confusion. It was also rich and empowering,
if a little provincial.
"Why, Little Jedi?"
It flinched beautifully at the designation,
muscles tightening in little waves that ran from head to toe. Palpatine
emphasised the question with a squeeze on the soft skin, looking for the
The boy sucked in breath around sore
red lips, shining in the firelight, but it didn't have the strength to
lift its head from the stone floor to implore. Poor, little, weak thing;
he would show it strength.
"Pl-ea-se," It begged much as its father
had twenty years ago; without any real hope. The eyes had crystallised
with fear and the fingers shook.
He looked at his hand on its hip, then
at the distraught face, and the soft spot that would yield the power, would
burst this ripe fruit, was abundantly clear. Mara had shown it to him,
"I think it’s a virgin, my dear," he
commented as his hand left the soft flesh, regretful of the loss of the
connection to such potency. "I don't think it liked that."
"No." Was her only comment, and he
chuckled at her tartness. It was not directed at his actions, he knew,
but at the reaction of the boy.
His hand went back to the cheek of
his new toy, and he wasn't surprised to see little trails of tears there
like spice veins in Kessel rock. He brushed at them. "You know who I am,
"Y-es." It tried to nod, but the gesture
was futile with Palpatine's strong grip on it.
"Good, good. I wish to complete your
training, my little apprentice." Little, tired, terrified, strong
apprentice. His mouth curled into a smile as it blanched and tried to shake
its head free of his grip. The fingernails only dug in harder, shadows
of their imprints deepened by the fire.
"Oh yes, in time you will understand."
He stroked the cheek almost affectionately and again there was a violent
reaction in the child, trying to shake free. Yes, he'd found the weakness.
Anakin's had been his lust for power but no such thing existed here. This
boy's weakness was his innocence, of mind and of body, and Palpatine was
wonderfully adept at exploiting that. This would be deliciously easy; the
weak ones never truly understood what was happening to them and it left
them floundering in a smothering darkness until they could no longer escape.
"Shssh now... sleep." The gnarled hand
rested on his forehead and the boy's eyes rolled backwards, body slumping
into unconsciousness. Palpatine studied it a moment longer before standing,
cloak swirling over its face. It covered the boy like a funeral shroud.
Finally, he turned from the inert form
to his Hand, standing silently by, probably understanding that she had
given Palpatine the leverage he sought.
"I must consult Mothma."
"I believe she is a little busy at
the moment," Mara commented. As they talked they moved from the firelight
to the huge window dominating the far wall and the Emperor gazed at the
little white flecks beating the glass in the moonlight. It was so futile
a gesture from the storm... as futile as the child's attempts at resistance,
now and in his future training. The snow pounding to get out; the child's
strong heart hammering against its ribcage to escape. He did love those
"Indeed, Vader is not happy," He chuckled,
knowing Mara wondered at the hidden meaning but not divulging the necessary
information. "I believe the rebellion has bitten off more than it can swallow
with this latest mistake."
"It appears so." There was an unvoiced
question there that the Emperor did not deign to answer. He gestured to
"Take it back to its room, have it
treated for that fever." It was uncommonly kind of him, but it was less
fun working with injuries you hadn't yourself inflicted. "And bring it
to me tomorrow."
"Yes, Master." She bowed in reverence
and he didn't acknowledge it, his thoughts elsewhere; on the child's training,
and on his Hand's somewhat unusual reaction to his interest in it. Did
she think he had a sexual interest in it, was that it? Well, it certainly
was pretty, but not in the ornamental sense. He chuckled; if he wanted
sexual pleasure he wouldn't go to such trouble to kidnap a virgin farmboy.
It didn't exactly seem like the type to be proficient at such things. No;
it simply intrigued him.
"And then you must leave me, my dear.
I have other missions for you to complete. You have done well here, and
I know I need not remind that you must speak of this to no one." He gazed
at the snow beyond the window; the Manari mountains of Imperial Centre
obscuring the lights of the vast city at the mountain's knees.
"No, my Master."
He dismissed her with a wave of a crinkled
hand, but watched with intent dirty yellow eyes as she removed the unconscious
little Jedi from before the fire, carrying it into the shadows and the
darkness beyond. A feral grin touched his lips at the thought of Darth
Vader, out on a mission of revenge for its death, chasing down Mothma and
her little rebel band with fury unmatched since the death of Amidala. Apparently,
his block on the child's connection to its father was working wonderfully,
bolstered by the fact that Vader fully believed the reports filtering through
to him of young Skywalker's demise.
His pleasure erupted in a cold laugh
and the squalls of snow laughed with him.
C h a p t e r Fi v e
Organa, former Princess of Alderaan, former Senator, former member of the
Rebel Alliance, wondered if the misery was ever going to end. She swirled
her drink around the glass before taking another sip, face wrinkling at
the acrid taste that was mostly pure alcohol mixed with a little of something
that tasted a little of swamp water. Lovely. Such high-class establishments
she found herself drinking at these days.
She stifled the smirk behind another
grimace at the taste and kept her eyes on the cantina entrance, waiting.
Since leaving the medical frigate aboard a commandeered shuttle, which
her conscience had demanded she return after landing, she had called Chewie
and Lando and asked for a ride. Things were moving far too fast for her;
far too fast. A week ago, she had been a high-ranking member of the Alliance
Council. Now she was... neither rebel nor imperial; neither outlaw nor
common citizen. Just Leia. All she was, had been and ever would be was
described by what she had lost and it left her feeling like an empty shell
of the feisty Princess Han and Luke had pulled from the heart of the Death
Han and Luke; both lost to her now.
Both leaving very deep scars in a heart they had managed to defrost from
the icy attitude she had used as security. With them, it had felt so good
to be open. Without them here it just felt vulnerable and bare; free for
the whole world, alliance, senate and cantina, to scrutinise and she didn't
like that. She swirled the drink again, unable to force herself to take
another swig of the tepid liquid.
Several denizens had approached her
in various stages of drunken disrepair, and she had waved them all off
easily and with detest, emphasised by her 'borrowed' blaster. How ironic;
the Princess of Alderaan who had had everything she ever wished for was
now reduced to a white ship-suit and a borrowed blaster, concealed by a
homespun cloak, also not hers. The strangest thing about that was that
she really didn't care.
Again, she swirled the drink; again,
she grimaced at the taste. Rank heat waves rose into the air around her,
sweat and smoke heavy in the dark light.
"Princess?" The voice was concern and
charm mixed more equally than her drink was, and she realised with some
chagrin that she had swapped studying the entranceway for studying the
She looked up, eyes heavy, into the
wide brown eyes of a large wookiee and the concerned, down-turned mouth
of Lando Calrissian.
"Hello," she offered weakly. Her fingers
rubbed at the chipped glass of her drink as they seated themselves opposite
her. From their worried expressions, she knew they had figured out something
had gone seriously wrong and she hadn't called them for a social visit.
Perhaps the rumours were spreading faster than she could run.
"What happened?" Lando's dark skin
shone with sweat and she wondered if they had run from the docking bay
to the cantina.
She didn't offer a smile and found
her fingertips shaking. "Luke's dead."
Oh, she could have broken that better.
It was cruel on all three of them to give it out so deadpan. There was
silence from across the table and she glanced back up and into outright
"Luke's... what?!? He wasn't that badly
injured!" Lando protested, Chewbacca strangely mute. With trepidation,
she studied Calrissian's clearly upset face. He had barely known Luke;
had, in fact, been instrumental in his near-capture by Vader. And here
he was; caring. But then Luke tended to have that effect on people. He
was instinctively likable.
Had been instinctively likable.
Tears threatened her sore cheeks, stinging
her eyes as surely as the tepid alcohol in her hands would. She was squeezing
the glass so hard she was sure it would shatter into as many sharp little
shards as her heart had. She concentrated on the liquid as Chewbacca found
his voice, still quiet but rumbling deeper than she had ever heard it before.
She understood little of what he said and looked to Lando in askance.
"He asked how it happened," Lando said.
He looked at the glass cracking in her hands and slowly, gently pried her
dirty fingers open with his own, setting the glass back onto the table.
My hands are dirty.
My hands are dirty to, what are
you afraid of?
Afraid of? Of loss, of heartbreak,
of exactly what she was experiencing now. She splayed her fingers out on
the metal-grill tabletop and knew she had to answer Luke's friends. "They
executed him. No; actually, they murdered him."
Chewie finally found his voice. He
howled in outrage and disbelief and she looked at him with big, sad brown
eyes. The cantina patrons barely gave them any spare glances.
"Chewie... Chewie...! Quiet down!"
Lando hissed at him, grabbing handfuls of shaggy fur to try and attract
the furious wookiee’s attention before he started dicing the cantina occupants
with those sharp claws extended in outrage.
Lando, a woefully inadequate hold on
the wookiee's arms stopping any carnage, looked over at Leia where she
remained seated. "Why?"
This was the hard part, the part where
Chewie really was likely to start tearing arms off the nearest sentient.
The part she could barely say. So she only whispered it.
"They got scared. They found something
out..." Come on Leia, say it. She put on an emotionless mask and
steeled herself as both Lando and Chewie looked down at the quite, petite
figure. "Luke was Darth Vader's son."
If possible, they were even quieter
than they had been at her first revelation. Chewie stood absolutely still
for a full ten seconds. Then the outburst came and she sat quietly by and
let them shout at her, letting them deny it just as she had. She studied
her hands, barely hearing the shouts. "It's true, they did a blood test.
And then they killed him, because they got scared."
Dust motes danced in the air between
them and she felt strangely detached, unwilling to touch that emotional
pain again, or feel it in empathy. "He didn't know," she added, forestalling
any questions about Luke's loyalty. She didn't think Chewie would have
Something like recognition passed over
Lando's lips as he asked a question weighted with intent seriousness and
wonder. "Then the reports from the fleet... Vader is massacring them. Is
it because...?" Perhaps there was even pride there.
Leia simply nodded and gave a small
little mirthless smile. "He's not happy."
Chewie burst back into a violent fury
again, not knowing what else to do and she barely saw anything more, mind
lolling in memories. When the table in front of her was violently overturned
and her erstwhile drink spilled to the floor, she looked up at the wookiee,
his rage apparently spent.
"We have to go to Tatooine," she said.
Lando, she saw, did not know what to
say, and so for once said nothing. He knew he had no place in their grief,
having barely known Luke, but he felt it just the same. She could see it
in his suddenly dimmed eyes.
She licked her lips and rose from the
seat. "And... there's something I have to do."
* * * *
Stop it! Leave me alone, please
"- alone!! Please!"
The fingers caressing the sensitive
skin on his hip dissolved into the reality of a bright morning. The blistering
heat of a fever and an open fire were replaced by brilliant sunshine and
cold stone beneath his back. And, when his eyes obeyed his command to open,
the whistling squalls of snow were replaced by motes of dust skipping across
Luke Skywalker blinked, unmoving, mind
clearing like the deserts before a sandstorm, turbulence of fitful nightmares
dying on his lips. Nightmares. The unreal; the conjured that couldn't
touch you like those dirty, cold hands had touched him and-
The moan was weak but not lilting,
his voice no longer catching on a fever, and it came from his first look
around the room where he lay, to the fireplace and velvet drapes that were
cold and bare in morning sunshine. No nightmare this; no imaginary hand
smothering his face, no spectra leering over him. This was reality, as
cold as the stone beneath his back and as clear as the swathes of snow
beyond the stone-carved window.
"Nap time's over, Skywalker." Despite
the cruel taint on the silky voice, he was glad that he at least owned
the name he had thought belonged to him. It seemed to be all he had left
from the last time he had fallen asleep. This was no stark medical facility,
no rebel barracks and no shuttle. This was... this was a cold, broad, stone-walled
room that echoed with his words and diminished him to a small, confused
The world blanched in indignation at
his attempts to sit up, and he knew it was too soon. Still, he rested his
back against frigid stone window mounts, mountains beyond spearing a bright
cloudless sky. Somehow, he doubted his own position was so bright and hopeful.
From the shadows by the fireplace, the woman with the red-gold hair and
the voice like silk stepped forward, her face a picture of scorn.
"Up," she ordered, cat-stepping forward
across deep-pile rugs. "The Emperor will be here soon."
The Emperor!? His mind whirled
and his fingers clutched at the edge of the stone window seat he sat upon
as the memories of last night flooded his mind in a black, ugly tide. Fingers
on his face, his chest, his hip. Sore, bruised lips pleading with a sick
old man with putrid eyes to stop. The Emperor.
His back collided with the cold window
at her words. A reply was not needed; he knew she saw the fear blossom
in tired blue eyes and there was something there, on her face... his lips
struggled to name it but his mind flailed blindly for an answer to her
curiously incongruous expression. As quickly as it had appeared, it was
banished as she turned expectantly to a far door, large and old like everything
else in the room. His fingers gripped tighter onto the edge as the air
sang in anticipation. Or perhaps it was just the furious, terrified blinking
of his eyes rustling in his ears.
The door opened and Palpatine entered
in a wash of black robes and dark Force waves spilling into the room. The
Royal Guards in their towering red uniforms were dismissed as he spitted
Luke with a gaze that ripped right through any barriers he had been attempting
to construct. The humourless cackling only helped to dissolve Luke's resolve
into a mushy pile of lost hopes.
The redhead stepped away from Luke
and bowed reverently. Luke would have stood to present a more formidable
presence in front of his enemy, but he didn't think Palpatine would be
impressed by him collapsing to the floor in a terrified little heap. His
heart hammered so hard he thought it would pummel itself to an early grave
against his ribs.
"Dismissed, Jade." His voice was as
Luke remembered; salty and sharp like quicklime.
Jade whispered from the room and left
Jedi and Sith facing each other in an uneasy standoff. Luke found his feet
under him and stepped forward boldly, banishing memories of his crackled,
spindly hands on him from last night. "Emperor Palpatine." He inclined
his head, trying to mask his fear behind icy determination, not bowing;
there was no respect in his stance. Loathing perhaps, but no reverence.
Palpatine stepped within breathing
distance of Luke and laughed, teeth and eyes shining yellow in the sunlight.
Luke almost wished he was still delirious and didn't have to confront this.
And why was he confronting this,
anyway? Where was Vader, if his plan had been to bring 'Skywalker' before
the Emperor? And where was Leia, beautiful loyal Leia, if Vader had not
brought him here? Where were his friends, and more importantly his enemies?
And where was his self-confidence and unwavering hope? Were they all bunkered
out together under the same fear rushing through his veins like glitterstem?
In his reverie, he never saw the spindly
white hand reach out for his cheek before chalky nails brushed against
it, Luke's disgust boiling hot in his stomach. He backed against the stone
ledge of the window-seat and he wished fervently to have the fever back
and to escape reality. He wished even harder that he knew how in Sith he
had gotten here.
"You're confused, my young Apprentice.
Do not be, it is very simple and soon you will understand all." The hands
raked over his cheek almost affectionately and Luke nearly, nearly
pushed the dictator from him. But he didn't; he'd heard the stories of
Palpatine's wrath. It was not time to test it yet.
"Where am I? Where's Leia?" Only hurriedly
assembled Jedi resolve allowed him to ask.
Palpatine looked at him quizzically
and patted his cheek. "It matters not. You will be here a while yet, that
is all you need know. Concern yourself with more important things."
After a life under the shadows of half-truths
and outright lies, Luke disliked intently being kept in ignorance. It must
have shown on his face because Palpatine laughed as he turned away to a
large seat by the fire, robes billowing behind him in a black cloud that
disturbed the sunny day.
"What do you want?" He barely realised
his hands were shaking and his cheek felt immeasurably dirty as Palpatine
hid in the shadows of the chair.
"Why, nothing more than you, utterly
and completely, my young Apprentice."
Luke's resolve faltered for a moment
at that, his heart fluttering in persecution and detest. To be owned? To
be controlled? By this disgusting slime? Never.
Somehow, he had expected, hoped for
even, a better reaction than mocking laughter from the dictator. It turned
his blood grey.
"Sit." A bleached white hand indicated
the chair opposite Palpatine's. When he didn't move the Emperor scowled
and a rush of air like dust over parchment indicated his displeasure. "Sit,
and be thankful I do not demand you kneel permanently in my presence."
No, but there will come a time for
that, won't there?
He pursed his lips in annoyance at
the future whispering in his ear. He didn't like it. He sat.
"You wonder, no?"
"Yes." He was well aware of the darkness
he sat in, of the darkness he was facing, but he could not deny his confusion,
nor did he try. "I don't understand." Was that a weakness he had revealed?
No - Palpatine well understood his confusion. Voicing it hurt no one, and
ignorance was his worst enemy here.
"Then let me explain. I rescued you."
His hands lay flush with the arms of the large chair and the smile mocked
him until Luke felt very small, very open. He felt like those eyes tore
his dignity; his confidence from him layer by layer to reveal a frightened
little Jedi underneath. And where was Vader in all this?
"You... what?" Diplomacy was never
his thing. The words sounded provincial in his ears. Palpatine's steady
gaze was stripping him of the years in the Alliance, of his training, leaving
only a callow farmboy underneath. One who lived in lies and ignorance.
"The Alliance may swear allegiance
to the Force, but in reality they only revere it as a primitive culture
rushes to worship a malevolent God. In fear. They feared you, they tried
to destroy you. But then, you knew they would." He leered at Luke and Luke
shifted uncomfortably in the deep seat.
--... they want revenge from me
and will take it from you… --
The question was almost on his lips,
the question about whether it was because of his blood relations, but his
mind banished it in a fit of denial. He shook his head barely perceptibly
and knew Palpatine had seen it anyway. "Because of Vader?"
The word was pleasurable in the dictator’s
lips and sour in Luke's mind. "Because of my father."
Palpatine looked at him in askance
and confusion, and that sent a shiver up Luke's spine, his throat suddenly
Luke's heart, as much as it had been
clambering for an escape route from his chest, suddenly stopped and he
imagined Palpatine holding it bleeding in those white, white hands, leering.
The chuckle was ghastly, and it tore
through him, turbolaser fire through flimsiplast. "Your father?
Ahhh... Little Jedi!! Foolish Jedi!! But... ah, so cunning! Vader tried
to win you through your heart, by giving you a hope to run to!"
The laugh was too much for Luke's nerves
and his fingers dug into the arms of the chair, world spinning madly. "He's
He was so still, so very still, his
heart truly torn from his chest. Played; like a foolish, callow, lowly
farmboy. "No! That's not true! That's-"
"Impossible? I'm afraid not. Ah, but
what a clever ploy by Vader. I must congratulate him on the attempt." The
eyes took on a distant look and Luke barely knew he was standing, stalking
the Darksider in front of him. Lost, found, and lost again. Abandoned,
reclaimed, rejected. It brought burning tears to tired eyes.
Palpatine seemed utterly unconcerned,
almost contemptuous, about the boy in front of him, hands balled in fury
and loss. "Who are you calling, Little Jedi?! Your father died twenty
years ago, slain by the man you gave his title to! Oh – this is delicious.
He would have died twice over!"
Would his mind never stop giving Vader
that designation now? Where it had been so hard to accept, now it was hard
to destroy. And, indeed, there was absolutely no answer to his pleas. He
choked down a cry of anguish, feeling like nothing more than a little Force-sensitive
doll for the rulers of the galaxy to play with when they got bored or melancholy.
"You have no father, little Jedi. You're
Oh, that was too cruel. Weren't those
the words he had screamed in his delirious mind when Leia had herded him
to the medical frigate? Wasn't that a cry of denial now turned into lost
hope? Truly, Palpatine sat in front of him now with Luke's heart neatly
removed from his chest.
Enraged, Luke lunged for the small
Darksider. He was so weak, so frail; surely Luke's bare hands could strangle
the life from him?
He was in for a sore disappointment.
Palpatine came swiftly to his feet as the attacked was launched and blistering
white-hot sparks erupted from his fingers. The shock barely registered
before the lightning struck Luke. His forward momentum reversed, he slammed
back into the chair he had vacated, crying out. But now, now, he
no longer had anyone to cry to. Leia and the Alliance wanted him dead,
and his father was once again lost to him. Who was left? Only the Emperor
and his cackling yellow eyes.
The despot advanced, bony fingers spread
and he leered as another shot burst through the weak mental shielding Luke
threw up. He writhed in pain, not hearing his own pleas to stop, and neither
did Palpatine. There was a sickening look of glee on the old man's face.
Finally, after seconds of sheeting
pain, Luke opened burning eyes to find Palpatine stretching out a hand
for his cheek and the tears rolling large down his face. Tears are for
the weak... and the truly desperate.
Luke jerked his head backwards, was
rewarded by hitting the back of his head on the chair. His skin screamed
at him, but his desperation and despair hollered mockingly as Palpatine's
hand settled over his bruised lips.
"Never do that again." There was no
need for threats; they were implicit. Luke shuddered as the hand brushed
"Little Jedi," he whispered, proximity
choking, "you have lost so much. Your friends, your family, yourself. And
they have all lied haven't they? Lied to the innocence they thought to
use as they willed? Let me tell you a truth, my Little Jedi." The
Emperor's breath whispered against Luke's skin and he thought he might
gag, but the words echoed around his head enticingly. "What you learn here
will be your comfort. The power you yield will be companionship. The Force
is the only truth you will ever know, and it's intimacy will replace the
human comforts that would burn and betray you. And knowledge – that too
you can have. Never to be deceived again. Never to be vulnerable with your
innocence. Never to hurt like this again." His hands caressed Luke's chest
in ownership over where his heart lay. "Will you take that? Will you forsake
ignorance and learn?"
His mouth faltered under the cold fingers,
and he wanted to throw Palpatine off him but... where would he run to?
Who would he run to? The only embrace left was in the freezing snow
beyond these stone walls, or in the misery of life as a fugitive from two
"No." His voice was hoarse and they
both heard the lie.
Where were his Jedi skills? Where was
his control? It was lost - lost from the moment the Emperor had touched
him and threatened his dignity, swallowed by the black hole that resided
in his heart when he had lost his father. And, more than that, it was doomed
from the very outset, from the moment he had left Dagobah.
Dagobah – he had thought Ben and Yoda
had wanted him to stay because he lacked the skills. Now he thought it
was because he lacked knowledge, because he wallowed in ignorance. But
that, after all, was their fault!
"So, Yoda lives still? Do not fear,
I will kill him for you," Palpatine whispered and Luke felt the tears of
outrage slip over Palpatine's fingertips.
"Hush, child. Do not be weak, I can
show you such power that you will never cry again. Take it."
He shook his head, trying to clear
the fog that had descended, Palpatine's formidable presence looming over
him, offering, enticing, intoxicating in a dark cloud of forbidden power.
He didn't trust himself to answer. The dictator saw this and softly, with
deceptive care, planted old cracked lips in a kiss on Luke's forehead,
brushing the tears away with his thumb.
Palpatine laughed at his mental cry
and whispered. "There is no one to hear you, Little Jedi. You, you're mind
and body, are now mine."
C h a p t e r S i x
was wrong. There was someone to hear Luke's pleas, and his cries plagued
her with nightmares she could never hope to understand the import of.
Sand whisked around her feet and stirred
the hem of her farmer's skirt as she stared down at the small pile of bleached
rocks that was all that remained of Owen and Beru Lars. Twin suns blistered
the air with waves of sweltering heat and the outcropping of rock soaked
it up easily. Leia Organa did not. She shifted uneasily, feeling her skin
prickling and burning in front of the shallow grave and monument Luke had
constructed before joining General Kenobi.
Tatooine; the Dune Sea. Where this
mess had really started, where Artoo and Threepio had stumbled from a torched
escape pod. They had been here several days now before Leia had gathered
the courage to come out to this place, whilst Lando and Chewie continued
to monitor for Boba Fett arriving with his bounty. Tatooine to rebellion
to Tatooine: full circle.
Soft, mournful currents of sand drifted
down to her and she let her gaze rest on the grave for a long while, the
homestead in the distance, reclaimed by native farmers, serving as a suitable
backdrop. The tears were overwhelming her pride, standing here at the beginning.
Or perhaps it was merely the end that had blossomed from here.
She was kneeling at the edge of the
pyramidal heap of desert shrapnel, reading the small placard at the head
of it, mind registering the words and their importance to the Tatooine
farmboy-turned pilot- turned Jedi. .
Owen and Beru Lars.
There was no date, no epitaph. Just
names. Apparently for Luke that had spoken volumes.
Her hand toyed with loose sand at it's
base and her eyes toyed with the idea of crying. Again. Instead, she reached
into her small holdall and removed the scrap of soft material there, laying
it in the white dust. The black material sucked up the sunlight and was
soon hot to touch as she just stared at it for long seconds, so reluctant
to take this final step. Finally embracing the inevitable, she unfolded
the corners and laid it out on the ground, looking at the contents, somewhat
melancholy. Her fingers traced the outline of the rank insignia for a few
moments and she allowed herself to think back to her friend, almost imagining
his wide blue eyes. Almost seeing him, backlit by sunshine and heavy velvet
drapes. She shook the image from her head, wondering where it had appeared
from, sure she had never seen him like that. Tears touched her cheeks unbidden
as she closed the material again, sealing away the last part of Luke Skywalker
and placing it beneath the placard with a delicate, reluctant sigh.
"I know you would have been proud,"
she murmured to the dead beneath her feet.
"They would have been outraged."
The ground might have shuddered or
she might have trembled; it mattered little which. Her heart froze in her
chest, touched by a shard of ice and she couldn't move, frozen with her
fingers on the small bundle. Her breath rushed out of her in a strangled
cry and she kicked around in the sand, falling clumsily onto her back and
trying to both crawl away and stand.
"What... what are you doing here?"
Her fingers fumbled at her hip for a nonexistent blaster, still onboard
the Falcon along with Lando and Chewie.
Darth Vader approached from the top
of the dune, shadow stretching for her. "I am not going to hurt you, stop
crawling away," he rumbled, voice dark and heavy.
She tried to gather her wits about
herself; instead gathered her dress and stood slowly, considering going
for her commlink. Sand grazed her skin as she swiped angrily at the tears
on her cheeks, not wanting the Dark Lord to see her like this. Not since...
the last time. She shuddered in the heat. His black cloak wove little trails
in the sand behind him as he stepped forward and she halted him with a
sharp, nervous glare.
"Well?" She brushed sand from
her skirt and moved to place the grave between herself and the Dark Lord
responsible for her current misery. The black visage stepped down from
the dune towards her and Leia's feet threatened to drop her to the ground
again in fear.
"What are you doing here?" he
countered with no animosity, only sadness, stepping forward until his feet
touched the bleached pile of stones. The jet black of his armour was out
of place in the sandy wastes, and yet he was strangely also a part of the
desert. She shook her head, trying to clear the twisted perception.
Her fingers twitched unhappily for
a blaster. "Trying to find some closure. You?"
"Trying to find a beginning," he answered.
She looked up into the black mask that
had tainted her nightmares up until very recently before being replaced
by something deeper, darker. There was a lump in her throat that was very
difficult to swallow past as she kept a steady gaze on her friend's father.
Luke's father, at his guardian's grave... and, in his stance, he was clearly
troubled. That was not something she was used to seeing on the Dark Lord.
Even through her fear and shock, a
small thought recognised that this enigma somehow seemed less terrifying
when he had a history as Anakin Skywalker.
"I thought you were out massacring
the Alliance," she bit out, but was dismayed by her own lack of animosity.
After all, perhaps he was merely here to mourn Luke, much as she was...
empathy with Darth Vader? The thought made her sick.
"What happened? Too easy?"
He tilted that black-masked head to
one side and a ripple of fear rushed through her at recognition of one
of Luke's mannerisms. "No, Princess."
"What then?" This new, strangely pensive
Dark Lord was making her distinctly uneasy. If he was here to kill her,
why not now?
"I heard you were here," he said. Her
breath caught in her throat and she skidded back from the grave, sand screening
her from him momentarily. When it cleared, he had made no move towards
here. "I merely wish to talk."
Her fists clenched and unclenched.
There were other options, like screaming
or running or attacking, but somehow she wasn't inclined to take them.
This was just too un-Vader-like for her.
"You left the Alliance shortly after
Luke's death." To her surprise, as he spoke he leant forward over the shallow
grave and lifted the fabric she had laid there, opening it and studying
it with a regretful sigh. Leia felt her eye's bulge.
"Immediately after... was he really
your son?" Had those words really come from her mouth? She scarcely believed
she could have voiced that thought.
"Yes." That was pain. It was the first
time she had heard it in Vader's voice and the humanity of it was shocking.
"Princess, the reports I have are... somewhat sketchy. What happened?"
He folded the fabric and replaced it under the plaque; she studied it a
moment before answering.
"I..." She gave herself a heartbeat
before continuing. "They got scared, he was talking deliriously when we
got him out from Bespin." She shot a glance at Vader that truly was hateful.
"Something about a secret. Mothma was there, she wanted to know what it
was. They drugged him. He told them. There was a meeting, a sham really;
they'd already decided. They... tried to convince me they would have a
trial for treason."
His questioning gaze made her pause
and the air grew cold around her, forcing a shiver through her muscles.
A small stone tumbled from the grave to a clattering stop.
"They? Or Mon Mothma?"
Her gasp escaped in a little strangled
exclamation. How had he known she was thinking that? Was he inside her
head? Her eyes narrowed. "I... it was the Council that agreed-"
"Are you sure?"
She hugged her arms around her waist
self-consciously as the cold black eyes of the mask tore through her, before
she fetched the dignity and self-confidence of Senator Organa from the
deep confines of her empty world and stood up straight. "Mon did seem a
little... over-eager," she admitted. The images swirled in her head – Ackbar
and Rieekan sitting passively by, not meeting her gaze, and Mon, so unlike
the woman she knew, eyes shining in hatred, holding her back as the shuttle
"I see..." Oh, that was cold. That
was so cold. Somehow, she almost pitied Mothma for her mistake now. Somehow,
she knew the price was going to be very high indeed.
She watched Vader's fist curl in barely
contained anger and hatred and carried on, finally speaking the truth she
knew - Mon, not the Council, was responsible. "I knew she planned no such
thing but I... I didn't expect her to move so fast!" She knew she was pleading
with both herself and The Father not to blame her, but she continued, "I
was trying to contact friends, trying to get help to get him away and then...
then they just put him on a shuttle and blew it up."
Her voice had trailed to hoarse whisper
and Vader was leaning intently forwards. "You're certain the shuttle was
Leia looked up sharply and, unknowingly,
took a step around the grave head to face Vader, Destiny and wonderment
cheering her on. "I saw it!" she growled.
"Then I am wrong." There was a queer
sadness in that voice, resignation almost, and it made her heart crumple.
He looked up at her and waved a gloved
hand through the air. "I had... hoped the rumours were false."
She shook her head sadly, "Why?" The
word was quiet, so quiet, it whispered on the warm Tatooine winds and with
his prolonged silence, she thought perhaps he hadn't heard her. But he
"He's died before, and I felt it. You
both died. This time... I felt nothing," he said, then he looked up as
she inhaled sharply.
"What? When?" The idea - it was ridiculous,
and yet something whispered in her that it was nothing more than the truth.
There was more silence, more ominous silence as still as a fresh corpse.
She paled, memories flooding, instinctively
touching her cheek to where the vanished scars had been from her duel with
Vader, stepping hurriedly backwards at the dark memories of a particularly
cold Darth Vader beating her and Luke to small tattered corpses in a dusty,
crumpled temple. Mimban. "No... we can't have died. That's not possible."
"It is. Luke healed you, and himself,
somehow. Or did you think your injuries disappeared into mere nightmares?"
She flinched at that word – nightmares
– and he saw it. The hand stretched out invitingly for her, maybe even
to offer her some support, but before he could question her, she growled
at him in her deepest, duskiest voice. "You...! Some father. You beat him;
tried to kill him! Did kill him, and me – I remember; it
was so bright! " The memories pushed through more brilliant than the Tatooine
sunshine and she pulled herself away from them, still wondering but unwilling
to look at them. "Why?"
He sighed and it whispered up with
the heat waves. "That was not me."
She shook, "Had a bout of insanity,
did we?" Sarcasm aimed at a Dark Lord; that was tempting fate.
He barely acknowledged it. "No. It
was not me. Palpatine was... experimenting with clone technology.
I think he thought it a perverse irony to clone me and then torture the
clones until they had to be placed inside suits such as this. They went
a little... crazy. And they had no knowledge that I was once Anakin Skywalker.
When I found out I killed them all. Except one Palpatine already had out
on a mission. To Mimban. So the clone you encountered, and killed, did
not know Luke was my son." Leia was looking unconvinced. "I have a mechanical
right hand, Princess. I lost it after Luke blew up the Death Star, as punishment.
The clone Luke killed had a flesh hand. Did he tell you that?"
Leia gaped at the Dark Lord, at the
revelation. "Yes..." She closed her eyes. "And you... you felt Luke die
after the duel?"
"Yes... and you. It was... disturbing.
If brief," he admitted, and Leia almost had the insane urge to offer a
hand in comfort. The idea mocked her as she reopened her eyes.
"And you didn't feel that this time?"
"But you can't... sense him now?"
The answer was a long time coming,
They stood silent for several minutes.
Leia watched the sand churn at the graves feet. "Perhaps it was because
he was unconscious."
"I doubt that."
She stared up into the black mask that
conveyed nothing of the emotion in his voice; emotion he was trying hard
to conceal. "If you've... hoped this all along, why haven't you been out
looking for him all along?"
The stories she'd had over the past
two weeks... they were chilling. Vader in a rage was deadly, and not a
quick, neat death either. The man in front of her though was not shaking
with rage, was not demanding her blood for failing his son. He was... despondent.
She might have said afraid even, but she had never known Darth Vader to
"I was... consumed. I felt a loss in
connection, and with the stories... I was a little angry."
'A little...'? That was a liberal
use of the word. The silence continued until she sighed. "Is it... possible?
I saw the shuttle destroyed." The words were dry and painful.
"I ask again; are you certain?"
She flinched at the words, taking a
step backwards before she could stop herself, remembering those words from
her time spent in his company aboard the Death Star. Her heart beat wildly.
"I... thought so." She was no longer
sure. Maybe her mind was just being messed up by those weird, macabre nightmares.
"Did they retrieve bodies?" Was that...
"I doubt they would bother," she admitted.
Could it be possible... could she allow herself hope too? The sorrowful
blue eyes from her nightmares appeared to plead with her to try.
The eager steps of Darth Vader brought
him up to her and she didn't flinch. "Princess, you seem to have a preoccupation
Her head snapped upwards, but as she
tried to move backwards from him, his hand closed around her arm and held
her there. There was something intent in his stance, something desperate.
"Get out of my head!" she snarled.
"Well?" His voice was mesmerising.
"I... I've been having dreams..." She
glowered, trying to pull her arm free, trying to stop fresh tears and wishing
for strength. All she got were some pretty bruises.
She yanked hard on her arm. "They're
none of your business, Vader!"
He sighed and shook his head, "And
you were being so co-operative... Princess, it may be important. You...
heard Luke on Bespin didn't you? Do you hear him now?" His voice
pleaded with her to confirm it.
She froze and knew he had his answer.
Yes she heard Luke; heard him screaming for someone to come to his aid.
Guttural cries of lost hope. But they were only nightmares... weren't they?
The rhythmic hiss of the respirator
stopped and she looked up startled. "I'm missing something here.... something
important..." he murmured.
The uneasy silence was interrupted
by the sound of feet skidding in the sand a strangled cry of surprise.
Dark Lord and Princess turned to the new arrivals.
"Leia! Fett's here! He -"
Lando shut up very abruptly when he
spotted the dark figure looming over her. Chewie, bowcaster aiming, snarled
at Leia to get out of the way. She couldn't even if she'd been willing
"Stop and she comes to no harm." Vader
growled, but to Leia there seemed to be less menace there than she had
expected. Chewie faltered but didn't drop the weapon.
She barely even heard the exchanged
threats, her mind bursting with confusion and indecision. Han! He
was here! Fett was here! And the man that had taken him from had his hand
clamped firmly around her arm. She felt desperate, needing to escape, needing
to rush after Fett. And... and leave Vader here, after discovering a faint
little sliver of hope she had thought lost? The idea was ludicrous. But...
The hot wind stirring sand around their
feet seemed to whispering at her to make a decision, and she knew it was
right. If she chose wrong, they would all pay dearly. But... there was
something different about Vader. Perhaps it was just her perception of
him as Luke's father. Or perhaps it was something more, something of that
infamous Skywalker heart. Regardless, she had to choose now: oppose Vader
and go after Han. Or go with Vader on the slim, wild hope Luke was still
out there. Both made her heart crumble like the sand under their feet.
But maybe... maybe she could do both...
Decision made, she whirled to her two
companions. "Stop! Chewie!" she called, and the wookiee faltered some more.
She turned to Luke's father, sighing in resignation.
"I want to find Luke, but I cannot
He never moved, and probably he had
expected just this. "I see."
She fought the compulsion to fight
the Sith and said something she could never have expected to pass her lips.
Something which bound these two together, forming a truce based solely
on trust. "If you help me get Han out, I'll help you find Luke," she implored.
There it was. Co-operation, alliance,
trust. Stars, it made her stomach turn. But it also felt like the right
thing to do.
Chewie and Lando, bare metres from
them, both inhaled sharply at her words, although they probably didn't
understand their true import for Leia Organa, staunch soldier against anything
and everything Vader stood for. Except that he now stood for Luke, and
she couldn't fight him.
The mask considered her and she felt
hope ripple down her arms beneath black-gloved fingers. "And if I refuse?"
"I don't think Chewie will hold out
much longer." She smiled sweetly. He chuckled with scorn – actually chuckled
– and released her.
"It isn't wise to upset a wookiee,
although I think I could handle him," he said, bass tones rumbling.
"Very well, but you must tell me: what do these nightmares show you?"
The mention of them; it sent her stomach
into tight little corkscrews. He looked visibly shaken as she paled at
the memories, bile rising in her throat as Lando and Chewie approached
cautiously, not understanding the pact made between the enemies but honouring
"You... you don't want to know." The
words were caustic.
Vader leaned in closer and this time
his voice definitely trembled with fear and pain at what she might say.
Fear for his son, she realised. Human, mortal fear. "Tell me..."
"Pain, darkness. And..."
He looked at her and suddenly her world
consisted only of herself, her nemesis and her nightmares. "Death."
C h a p t e r S e v e n
watched it try to hold the tattered skin together, fully appreciative of
the sight. It glared a little blankly at him and struggled to stand. When
it couldn't, when it let out a little moan in dismay, Palpatine turned
his back on it and moved away giving a soft chuckle. The Skywalker child
remained kneeling on the rug, face furious and red with unshed tears as
one hand clutched around the wound in its left arm, the crimson shining
deliciously in the firelight. Palpatine circled the boy.
"You do insist on learning in a most
difficult manner," he commented, watching the child stiffen as he moved
behind it where it couldn't see, where its bruised back wouldn't allow
it to turn to. Blood-slicked hands slipped down from the wound when the
skin became too slippery and there was a sigh of pain.
"You do not control me."
From the stiff words, Palpatine knew
they were spoken through painfully clenched teeth. He snaked a hand into
the mop of blonde hair, rake-thin fingers catching on sweaty tangles. "Really?"
The pressure kept it down, but Skywalker
tried to stand all the same. His fingers tightened in the hair, eliciting
a little yelp.
"Well?" There was no answer, only the
hiss of a forced intake of breath. "You understand so little, my young
apprentice. But understand this fact and things may be a little easier
on you." He knew there would be no answer, no admission – yet. He removed
his fingers and continued his circle, the disgust and fearing pouring off
his Little Jedi and he lapped it up.
This was more fun than he had anticipated.
Its blood shone like wine when shed, its tears water to the thirsty and
its haunted eyes a view to the imprisoned. He beat it and it always got
back up; would it never learn that he would simply knock it back down again?
Again and again and again...
No, it understood. The furious face
told him that. But it couldn't stop the denial that fell on its lips every
time it spoke. Such will power. But then, if it was weak in spirit, what
use would he have for it? He patted the furious face with his palm and
it remained kneeling. Good. Perhaps it was learning after all.
"I will not turn. I will die first."
The words were washed in the blood from its arm and the na?ve idealism
Palpatine was so enjoying destroying, piece by ripped-up little piece.
And it tore so well.
"That will not be necessary," he cackled
and crouched to the figure, took its bleeding arm between white fingers.
The blood shone as it covered his palm, as ran his fingers over the deep
tear. He saw the question pass over the boys lips, before they were set
stubbornly into silence.
"I hear your thoughts. There is no
need to refrain from asking."
The glare could not have contained
more hatred. Then it shivered as Palpatine basked in the power that rushed
up to meet the angry feelings. The Jedi mantra was repeated in its darkened
mind and the child calmed. It stared back defiantly, not looking at the
cut Palpatine was stroking, little shivers in its back betraying the pain.
But it didn't speak.
"It is a simple trick," Palpatine answered
anyway. The child shook with rage at having its thoughts violated. In truth,
there was no reason not to think it would be curious about how the Emperor
had broken the skin by a mere look. He did not have to probe its mind to
know that. "One you will perhaps learn, one day." It was simple matter
manipulation to pull the flesh apart like that, not unlike the floating-rocks
trick all Jedi learned. He sneered at the thought, contempt easily seen
on his cracked features.
It inhaled sharply at the look of distaste
on the Emperor's face. Looking at the defiant, weak little child he smiled.
That seemed to unnerve it more than the stroking did. "Will you not allow
me to show you such power?"
It struggled to stand, but its muscles
refused the order, still tingling from lightning. In two weeks since beginning
this 'training' Palpatine had still not tired of seeing those tendrils
snake over the boys skin. He rubbed the tip of his tongue over his teeth
thoughtfully, almost regretful that there were definite signs of change
in the boy and such punishment might not be necessary in a few more weeks.
That would indeed be a shame. Still, torture was such a familiar thing,
was there nothing new to be done with the child?
"No," It hissed. "I will not turn."
There was such defiance there, unbridled
emotion spilling out and making the words more damning than any action
the child could have taken. Every denial only pushed it further.
"Indeed. Why not?"
The blonde head snapped upwards in
surprise and the lips parted in horror. Yes, it really was quite beautiful.
Beautiful, trembling and obedient. The pleasure washed through him at the
sting in the voice, so misguided. "The Darkside is evil. It is everything
I fight against. That is not how... how we're supposed to use the Force."
The laughter that came from Palpatine
was the first true mirth he had expressed in a very long while. He stood,
voice crackling and bounding back to him off stone walls. The child shivered
"Young fool! You still don't understand."
He stood and turned, the cape snapping at the boys face. He felt familiar
emotions rip through that small, slight body. Fear, loneliness, confusion.
That played into his hands wonderfully and he manipulated them with all
the skill of decades worth of mastery of the Sith ways. The child never
even saw the trap.
Yes, indeed it was changing. Only a
few days ago it would have let him punish it before uttering those words.
"The Force is a tool. Nothing more," he said. He flushed the robes out
as he sat in the chair. The boy remained kneeling, confusion on its tired
"That's... not true. It's too natural,
too old. It's... too alive to be used as a tool. You can't-"
It was almost gaining in confidence.
He slapped it back down.
"Fool. Listen to what you say. You
protest because you believe it is ethereal, some God-like entity."
He leaned closer to the child and drew it towards him with a stirring of
the Force. It crawled, obedient. Trembling and obedient and beautiful.
"You would describe sentience where there is no such thing. The Force is
the energy field from all life, but is not itself alive. And being
natural makes it above our sentient demands? Fool!"
He snatched a handful of the black
tunic and drew Skywalker closer, the blood on its arm smudging the pale
skin. It whimpered in pain before returning to a defiant and... yes, interested
"The Force is no more alive than is
fire and it is just as 'natural'." One gnarled hand indicated the flames
in the fireplace, the other stroking the child's cheek, emphasising each
word in little rhythmic caresses that shattered its resolve. Such a simple
trick this. Touch rendered it incapable of defiance, left it open to disgust
and fear. It worked wonderfully. The blue eyes widened and stared transfixed
at the Emperor's hand. He brought its attention back to him with a squeeze
of his fingertips. "It is a creation of the living but we don't
claim it to actually live, think, act!" The claws of his fingernails tightened.
"The Jedi were fools and were consumed by the fire they revered
but refused to use. They didn't tame it and it took control. They watched,
listened, passively observing so much that they never noticed it enclose
and destroy them. Fools, just as you are."
It was struggling for words, eyes wide
with fear. Its gaze flickered to the large hearth, then back to Palpatine,
and he saw understanding blossom there. But it was not spoken.
"But... the Darkside-"
"As you know it, it is nothing more
than a Jedi horror story." He shook his head, eyes shining. "The Force
must be used, there is no other way."
The child shook its head furiously
and Palpatine shoved it backwards from him to sprawl on the floor. Confusion
and macabre understanding were shaken from its face hurriedly. "No. The
Jedi use it, but they use it for the good. They use the lightside. You
are the Darkside, and that is nothing more than pure evil."
Palpatine stood in a swirl of angry
robes. He stalked forwards and the child began to claw uncertainly backwards
away from the Emperor, defiance crumbling.
"The Force does not care how
we use it – it is not capable of caring. Does the fire care what you burn
and what you warm? There is no discrimination there – it is power, pure
and simple. It only relishes being used at all." He crouched over the figure.
"What matters, if something must, is who uses it."
The little, weak thing shook its head
frantically, trying to block out the words that so went against what its
teachers had told it. It licked dry lips uncertainly. Before it could speak
he placed two fingers over its mouth, knowing this would shatter its concentration.
"And you, Luke Skywalker, are nothing
It blanched and the light seemed to
fade a little from around him, sconces flickering.
Oh, but the word was so uncertain,
so scared. He grabbed the back of its neck with spindly sharp hands and
wrenched it backwards until sick yellow met terrified blue. "Yes. You;
who kills indiscriminately, who murders millions on the Death Star. You,
my little Jedi murderer were born for the Darkside," he spat.
It was a wail and the eyes closed as
feelings of anger and disgust poured through the small frame. And loneliness
- so alone. Little abandoned, unloved Jedi. Little, misguided, betrayed
Jedi. The feelings were unstoppable, everything it had stood for kicked
out beneath its feet. Palpatine's hand closed tighter as he invaded the
fragile, shattering mind and he delighted in what he felt being voiced
Friends, family; loved ones and
those he hated too; all were destroyed. None of them cared. None came for
him. All gave him pain and he delivered it back tenfold. Because he was
born for the Darkside.
It sobbed briefly and then the eyes
snapped open in panic. It felt it. It felt that power – he could see it
clearly in those seared eyes.
It blinked and in that second, in that
single eye-blink the sconces winked out, the fire in the hearth coughed,
exploded, died, and the ancient glass on paintings and light fittings burst
into small, wicked shards and rained down in a hard storm. Dark energy
poured, delicious and warm, over both of them and it cried, it cried out
so hard and loud but it did nothing to stop it.
Palpatine laughed in something that
might have been triumph, but felt more like delight.
* * * *
Leia set the make-shift mirror to one
side, lit by a small glow lamp. She studied the reflection only briefly,
not willing to see the tired eyes or weary, sand-bitten skin. In the small
bunk aboard the Falcon the light was dark but it was enough to work
by. She reached up uncertainly and undid the clasp to her hair, tangles
of plaits falling to her shoulders. Splaying her fingers, she ran her hands
through them until her long chestnut hair laying in a curtain around her.
A curtain she could no longer hide
behind like a spoilt Alderaani Princess, or an Imperial Senator, or an
No; she was just Leia now. Leia Organa,
no title, no rank, no fixed abode. She nearly laughed at that last mocking
thought; the man who was at least in part responsible for that little fact
only a bulkhead away. Yes, Leia Organa, as much a nobody as Luke Skywalker
had been, had just made a pact with the devil. Or rather, the devil's henchman.
And if she had to do this, if she had
to strip off the Princess and the Senator and follow this man, then here
was another symbol to abandon.
She lifted the little scissors to her
fingers and let out a shivering breath. Her Aunts would murder her if they
knew... but her Aunts were another part of a distant past. She took her
hair between her fingers, to a length just beneath her jaw line, and snipped.
The tearing sound, its symbolism, was not lost on her, and she forced the
tears back down for a more honourable use. It was only hair. She continued.
After several minutes, her long, rich
hair lay across the bunk seat and she set the scissors down. In the mirror,
the woman who looked back at her with a sharp little bob and a defiant
set to her jaw was anything but the grieving Princess. She looked deep
into those eyes and hoped she found herself soon.
"Princess?" The door swiped open.
* * * *
They covered him in a black cloak and
cowl, probably not wanting to 'scare' the Palace servants. He accepted
it gratefully, not wanting to scare himself. When he and his escort reached
his quarters in a quiet little funeral procession the doors whisked shut
behind him and he stood in the entranceway, not seeing.
There was no sense of time in this
quiet, dreadful place. He did not know how long it had been before he'd
felt those dark stirrings, but they followed Palpatine's creeping fingers
and laughed when he pleaded with him to stop. The taste of disgust and
terror was utterly familiar to him now, as was the broken tearing of his
soul every time Palpatine stroked his cheek, touched his lips, whispered
of more if he didn't obey.
All he wanted now was respite, but
he knew his disturbed thoughts would plague him through the cold night.
He had nothing. That had been difficult to accept, and more difficult to
voice, kneeling before the man who wanted to be called 'Master'. He had
nothing, but how he pleaded, begged, craved for something of his old life.
For friendship, for love, for something other than the wretched old man
whose pet he had become.
How he wished that Vader was
his father, because no father would allow a son to go through this.
He needed someone to save him, and
there was no one. Not even his enemy, anymore. Only Palpatine and... stars
help him but he was beginning to listen to the old man. It was a curious
feeling, watching as you fell, unable to stop it and strangely detached.
And every time he found the focus to
try and stop, Palpatine rendered him incapable with fear, pain, lust. Anything
to break his little toy and start gluing it back together into his macabre
The black material of the cloak weighed
heavy and he stumbled forwards towards the windows. He kept the drapes
shut now. At first, placed in this little cage, he had sat staring at the
snow and mountains for long hours between his 'sessions' with Palpatine,
unable to sleep for the dreams that came to him. In time, he had learnt
that it only hurt him more to be so close to something he might never have
again, millimetres from his hands but light-years from his future. Now,
the dark red curtains blocked out the hope he longed for, shut out the
Because it just hurt too much, and
this was easier than dealing with the pain.
The pain of loss. The pain of betrayal.
The pain of rejection and confusion. It made his legs crumble and he sat
down heavily on the floor, completely spent. What had he done? What had
he felt? That power... that was the Darkside and it had torn him apart.
He had called out for anyone – his father; Leia; Han; anyone – to help.
No one did. It fed off his fear and anger. It loved his disgust as surely
as the Emperor did. His need for rescue made it stronger... but when that
need was gone, who would he be? Not Luke Skywalker. Not anymore. Maybe
he really had died on that shuttle.
He looked down at the blood on his
arm, grey in the unlit room. The skin was clear and unmarked, the deep
ugly gash neatly healed. By the Darkside. By Palpatine's soft strokes.
How was that possible? Didn't Yoda say the Darkside was destructive? Then
how could it heal? Who was lying..?
He balled his fists and thrust them
into his eyes to push back angry tears of despair. He would not
... but that dark power had felt so
"No...." The moan was less loud than
he would have liked; less insistent. "Leia... what's happening to me?"
Only howling of blizzard winds answered
him and he buried himself deeper in the cloak.
C h a p t e r E i g
is not going to work," Leia snapped her head around, neat ends of
her bobbed hair sweeping out angrily. In the half-light of the Falcon's
cockpit, Vader regarded her impatiently as she stormed forwards, lithe
frame boiling with frustration.
"Leia, we don't have-"
"Don't call me that. And don't
tell me we're running out of time; I know." Her flash of anger dissolved
into the gut-wrenching images of her nightmares, into her stomach turning
small, tight little cartwheels at that feeling she couldn't even name.
She knew; knew time was slipping through their fingers, black gloved and
porcelain white equally. It burned like misery but cried like despair...
and there was more. Little fleeting glimpses of darkness that scolded when
she got too close and cries that shook her until she was screaming. She
The hiss of the respirator filled the
air and she snapped back to the present, to her waking problems. "Jabba
won't buy it."
In a tight black ship-suit and dark
hair to her chin, she was a little macabre image of the Dark Lord stood
in the deepest shadows. In the frustrated balling of his fists and the
impatient clipped tone of his voice he was her panicked sense of failure
given form. Neither seemed to notice.
"You have an alternate plan?" His breath
hissed, biting as hard as the sand storm winds against the Falcon's hull.
She fought the frustration that bustled
its way into her mind, "Yes. You're Darth Vader. I would have thought you
had some bargaining power, with the whole Imperial fleet in your fist.
I'm sure Jabba would be more than willing to listen." Sarcasm had crept
into her voice. But that was okay, it made it into his too, both of them
releasing anxiety born from the disturbing half-glimpses of a shrouded
future onto each other. And that shroud felt very much like it belonged
in nowhere but a morgue.
"I'm sure." His voice was dipped in
reactor acid. "I'm also certain Palpatine would also wonder at my intervention
in smugglers business."
She stalked closer, up to the dark
mask. Right up to those blank eyes that betrayed nothing. "What does it
matter what Palpatine thinks?" she hissed.
Vader said nothing and she felt suspicion
wriggle its way into the light. She shivered. "Unless..." Her head snapped
upwards, but she wasn't seeing. She was remembering. "You think Palpatine
is involved in this."
The Emperor was involved? It would
be just like one of his twisted little plans to make us all think Luke
But, no. He wouldn't be just involved
in some cruel hoax, would he? He-
She shook her head and turned from
him thoughtfully, trembling. "No. You think Palpatine has Luke."
There was a silence. A silence bleaker
and colder than those twilight wastes beyond the viewport.
"It would make sense."
She looked up at the voice that had
trembled oh-so slightly, and she searched for something like fear, something
like disgust, something like the emotions ripping through her own body.
"Because I cannot touch him, and yet
he is sending to you. Only Palpatine has the power necessary for that.
Because he wants him destroyed or..."
Her voice caught and she backed away
from Vader until she sank into the pilot's chair, pushing it around to
face her new ally.
She flinched at that thought – ally
– but there was no other description. Leia Organa was helping Darth Vader;
the man who had destroyed her family, her home, her cause and her friend.
Yes; he had destroyed Luke on Bespin. Father or not, he had shattered Luke
there. She could not allow herself to see compassion here, could not allow
herself to imagine he could be subject to the true feelings of a father.
There was nothing to this but a convenient pact between sometime-enemies
who each needed the help of the other.
Which left the obvious question; what
would happen to Luke if they found him? Was he better off where he was
The word screamed through her, rippling
her muscles in little waves of disgust and confusion as it passed. It was
not something she could understand, but it smacked of the truth.
"Or...?" she repeated. There had been
Her eyes closed and shut out the visage
of a concerned Darth Vader. She could not allow foolish hopes to interfere
with her perceptions right now. "Turned?"
"To the Darkside of the Force. Like
Her jaw set in a determination which
was, to Vader, strangely familiar. "He won't," she said, eyes blazing with
the only light in the cockpit.
The was a silence that dragged between
them, "You speak out of ignorance. We are wasting time."
She jumped back to her feet, unable
to control the need to move and fight. "Then demand Jabba turns Han over
"Foolish girl." He turned from her
angrily and she had the insane urge to offer comfort to his obvious frustration
at the delay. "If I do that, Palpatine will know I suspect something is
wrong. He will hide Luke, banish him to some hole where we will never find
him until... it is too late for him."
She whirled on him. "And just why do
you care about that?" She felt her animosity flair but, well,
it had been a long time coming.
He faltered better than she could have
hoped for. His voice shook the air. "What do you mean?"
She sprang through the opening he offered
by the question, determinate and indignant. "You! You hardly want his welfare!"
she spat, muscles coiled even though she would never have been foolish
enough to attack him physically.
"I never wanted him hurt. I-"
"Hypocrite!" She was almost shouting
now, anger bursting. Yes he was her ally, yes she was cooperating with
him, but no she didn't have to like who he was, or what he'd done.
"You hurt him! You cut off his hand, beat him, shattered him." Her voice
came in little shivering waves of remembrance; that sad despondent face
with those wide blue eyes. "When we pulled him off Cloud City I thought
we'd never get through to him. Some father – one who beats his child
into submission. And what did you want, anyway? Not to kill him, no – but
what were you going to do with him?"
Her fists rested in the natural curve
of her hips as she glowered with the force of supernovae. The Dark Lord
sighed wearily. "I was... to take him to Palpatine."
She blanched, but hadn't she expected
this? Why else wouldn't he have killed the last of the Jedi? "You wanted
to turn him, too." She spat. "You hypocritical, heartless bastard. You-"
She hadn't realised it, but she was
pointing a shaking finger at Vader as if it was a blaster, firing again
and again with biting little comments against his intentions. He reached
out and grabbed that hand, silencing her with the shock. "You know nothing
Princess." His voice was dangerous; rarely had she heard him so angry and
it made her shake before she could control her rebelling muscles. "I did
not wish for him to be hurt."
"Hurt? Hurt? You have no idea
what's happening to him right now. I do. I-"
"Your lack of imagination surprises
me. I do know. You broadcast your nightmares so strongly any Force-sensitive
within a hundred kilometres must be having sleepless nights," he hissed,
hand tightening around her wrist.
She blinked hard, struggling to see
him – really see him – in the dim light. "I... I do?"
"Yes." She heard it now – Despair.
Pain. Horror. He had seen those dreams, lived them with her in the few
short days they had worked together on a plan into Jabba's Palace. Suddenly
his sometimes aloof quietness, quite uncharacteristic of the Darth Vader
she knew and hated, was explained. He felt his son's pain, as did she.
Organa - Princess, Senator, Rebel no more - laid a trembling hand
on his in apology. "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking."
"But you are quite right. I hurt Luke."
Her head snapped up but her hand remained
on his sleeve. She wasn't even certain what had been in that deep voice.
Was it regret? Shame? Perhaps he was just passive. "You did." There was
blame, hatred, pain in her own voice, but not as vehement as she might
have expected. It was... unnerving. She had to ask. "Do you... regret it?"
The room cooled a little further, icy
in the Tatooine night. There was no answer and she waited, willing to let
the silence continue until he broke it. This was his call; he had to answer
her if they were to work together.
"It was necessary."
That was no answer. That was neither
regret nor pride. It was... somewhere inbetween. He was somewhere
inbetween. She looked curiously, without fear, at the man responsible for
so much loss in her life and had the perverse feeling that she might have
actually gained something.
He looked at her hand on his own and
she snatched it away as if burned, thrilled and disgusted by the connection
they were forming in little over a day. I formed a connection to
him in under a day on the Death Star, too.
The reminder of Vader's true nature
was a rude awakening and she stalked past him for the corridor. His gaze
followed her, curious about her suddenly chilly attitude. "Of course."
Her voice was as cold as hyperwash. A change of subject was definitely
needed. "Your agents should be in place soon. We should be ready to move."
He obviously heard the disapproval,
the doubts. They could have used the might of the imperial Navy to crush
Jabba, but they didn't. Yes, his reasons were solid for not doing so, for
not alerting Palpatine if he indeed... 'had' Luke. She shivered violently
at the memories; the dark, smothering presence she sometimes felt could
quite easily be their despised Emperor.
"They already are. That is what I came
to talk to you about."
And not to argue over the plan,
again? Well, I'm still not convinced. She let him see her doubts in
the grim frown of disapproval she gave him. He ignored it.
"This must look like your operation,
and yours alone. Otherwise, any rescue of Luke will be in jeopardy."
That little word, so innocent – rescue
– brought this situation back to her. For Vader to defy Palpatine,
to plot against him... it was tantamount to treason.
She walked in neat little determinate
steps, "But it will take more time to set up our own covers. Why don't
we use the bounty hunter idea? I could deliver Chewie-"
The rumbling cough behind her made
her turn on her heel and glare in defiance, hands suddenly on her hips,
little jagged edges of her new hair pointing accusingly. "What?"
He followed her into the light, padded
corridor. "He will see straight through that. Chewbacca would never
allow himself to be captured by someone so... little."
She glowered and the air burned in
bruised pride. "Fine."
She whisked around again and grabbed
her dancer's outfit from an overhead locker, tossing it onto the holotable
as she stalked through, his heavy footfalls behind her all the way. Chewie
and Lando looked up from their game as their figures suddenly swam in lycra
and black sequins.
"Lando? It's show time." The defiance
in her voice was harking back to her regal nature, pride surfacing from
the Dark Lord's comments.
Behind her she could have sworn she
heard him mutter "There's something else here... something I'm missing..."
as he studied the little fireball gather her disguise with strength
of purpose and self.
She turned towards him, eyebrows arching
for the ceiling, "Ready?"
"Absolutely, your highness."
She stormed for the entrance ramp,
a thunderstorm of anxiety and determination.
* * * *
A week later and Leia swung her hips
in little rhythmic circles, fingers playing with the air in synchrony to
the other two dancers, hair plastering across ruby-coloured lips.
Yes, it should have been demeaning
for the former Princess to dance like this for a Hutt, to swing her body
enticingly for the grotesque slug, but she somehow knew that their original
plan of her feigning being a bounty hunter would have fallen flat and who
knew what would have come of that?
She turned her arms through the air,
the music allowing her to use the curves of her body in a way no Royal
Aunt had taught her. Still, Leia could dance. The Princess of Alderaan
hardly would hardly not know how to dance, prepared for dancing
at the many royal functions by her patient tutors. Except that dancing
had not been quite like this.
She didn't have the height, but she
had the lithe body and the control, and her determination to see this through
made up for the rest. In fact, Jabba seemed to appreciate her enough to
place her amongst his most favoured dancers. That was doubled edged – it
got her closer to the slug, meant her story was believed, but it also meant
she was actually exciting the Hutt. Fortunately, there was no time
for retching at that idea.
She swung in a half circle with the
others, dancing from her waist to the music as Jabba rocked bulbous and
swollen on his platform. She batted smoky eyelids accordingly and hid her
distaste behind years of training in subterfuge in the Alliance. The outfit
hugged her as close as lubricant on bare skin and she had learnt there
was nothing to be done about the leers of the denizens except ignore them
and silently promised them a long, slow death when they finally sprang
their attack. She had suffered worse than this. She could last a little
Jabba bellowed approvingly as the trio
of dancers swept low, giving full cleavage. Hardened Alliance soldier or
not, this was still nauseating. She wondered darkly if Vader had thought
up this cover just to take the Princess down a notch or two.
Well, he could wish again. Yes, it
was humiliating, but she kept a hold on her pride, on her feisty defiance.
And he couldn't knock back the Princess, because Leia wasn't sure she existed
anymore. No more than she was sure whether or not the Dark Lord Darth Vader
existed any more. She hid the frown that thought begged for and concentrated
on the routine.
Another swirl of lithe hips, another
clap from Jabba.
I hope you get a very painful death,
Jabba. Let's see how well you dance with a lightsaber strapped to
Perhaps the worst thing was that as
she moved her body in intricate little numbers for the Hutt whilst wearing
disturbingly little except the slashed body suit, the man she would truly
love to be doing this for was hanging, face contorted in frozen pain, a
bare few metres away.
After several excruciating minutes,
the music stopped and the pawing of drunken courtesans began. Strange,
it was much like the Imperial court, except here the mauling was physical
and not mental. Still, she knew which she preferred. A sour little smile
sent one drunken bith scuttling away.
Lando passed across the floor, face
half-hidden by his disguise and gave a brief little nod to get ready. Soon.
Now if she could just stay innocuous
and make her way over to Han's frozen form... She pressed deep into an
alcove, pushing the tangles of hair from her cheeks and watching the staggering
crowd. Soon, it had to be soon.
"You're new here, aren't you?"
She whirled to the voice, sickly sweet
and dripping in tannin. The black-haired older woman's smile was much more
genuine than her voice.
"Yeah, a couple of days."
The other nodded knowingly and Leia
felt her brow wrinkling with confusion. She had found few of the dancers
were talkers, and she much preferred it that way.
As she stepped out of the alcove, a
stray hand from a passing rodian slipped down her thigh and she resisted
the urge to push it away violently, preferably with a large blaster hole
in its chest. It didn't take well to her brushing it off and wrapped a
green-skinned hand around her wrist as it yanked her towards it. Panic
flared momentarily as it breathed in her skin drunkenly before speaking
a language she couldn't understand.
She tried to pry herself free but it
tightened and she was sure she'd scream at those sucker-covered fingers
as they plucked at her skin. Somebody get me out of here!
A sharp hiss in the same language got
the aliens attention as black-haired woman snapped at it. It fell backwards
as if stunned and replied, slurring, before winding a staggering path for
Leia shuck the dark cloud of anger
and disgust from her feelings, trying to calm herself. She rubbed ruefully
at her bruised wrist and momentary loss of composure. "Thanks," she murmured.
"No problem. Sometimes you gotta be
real firm." The smile held no mirth.
Leia tried to look around without being
suspicious, skin tingling in expectation... soon. It was going to be soon.
If Vader would only hurry up and get her out of here!!
"Where you from?" The woman asked,
trying to be conversational. The smoke drifted in little binding tendrils
around them, emphasising that these two dancers were not here for the company
and that idle conversation seemed a little... pointless. Still, she couldn't
get out of it now without appearing suspicious.
"Alderaan." Well, why not? Princess
Leia wasn't the only girl from there.
Usually, when she told people that,
when she revealed who she was, there was an apologetic mumble, perhaps
even sincere expressions of regret. This woman simply laughed.
Leia glowered at her even as movement
stirred at the back of the crowd. Where was... ? There. A figure moved
in the shadows, little blinking lights in his hands.
"Well, at least you don't have to worry
about citizen taxes anymore." The woman chuckled and shook long, fluid
hair over her shoulder. Leia might have turned then and glowered, maybe
even bitten with well-sharpened verbal-teeth. But something caught the
dancer's eye and she hurriedly stepped backwards. "Oh..."
Leia whirled, sudden dread worming
in her gut. The world spun slowly and as she faced the dais again something
clicked around her throat. The solid snap made her jump in sudden fear,
not certain whether it came from the ominous low chuckle from the dais
or from the quick, knowing glances that passed between the remaining dancers,
backing away. Her hands flew to the collar all the favoured dancers wore,
and the chain that had been snapped onto it. "What?!?" She asked, more
than a little alarmed.
The gamorrean grunted at her and, frustrated
at her inability to understand, at her anxiety and confusion, she turned
back to the black-haired woman in askance. She had quickly scuttled away,
nowhere to be seen. Leia was forced to turn back at a tug on her collar,
world falling apart to panic. The guard pulled her over towards Jabba,
and he leered appreciatively at her moves of defiance.
What does he want? What is this?
Why did they all back off-
Sudden understanding rose with the
smoke and fear as the music began to build again. Jabba wanted a private
This wasn't part of the plan!! They
needed Leia to slip out and unfreeze Han whilst Lando and Chewie confused
the drunken pirates with gas grenades; whilst Vader befuddled the minds
of anyone not suitably inebriated.
She struggled weakly. "No... no!"
Suddenly, she wished Vader had listened
to her, that he had been made a visible presence in their plan. The look
in Jabba's glassy eye was truly disturbed and her arm muscles fought against
the guard's pull.
The guard handed the end of a long
leash to his Hutt master and Jabba leered more.
Then she did something she had not
done in a long time; Leia panicked. She tugged on it and it was tugged
back twice as hard, almost sending her sprawling.
But she needed to be free! Lando had
already set the charges – they could go off any minute.
Her eyes were blinded by the smoke
in the room and the music built further, enveloping her. Maybe... maybe
if she ignored the Hutt in front of her, ignored the crowd, she could do
this and not get killed for being unentertaining.
The world swirled with the alien melody,
with the smoke and alcohol and the leering eyes of Jabba. And she knew
she had to dance as the crescendo built.
Stowing her pleas for freedom in that
place she had visited many times before - when Alderaan died, when Vader
tortured her, when Han was lost - she began to dance. She let her hips
flow in a rhythm of their own, let her lips pout and her hands play with
the chain. It was disgusting, but what else was she supposed to do?
Leia pushed blindly past the panic
and hoped the music would stop in time to be released from the slug. She
spun on her naked heel, glancing under the rope, scanning the room for
Lando. She didn't see him anywhere.
As she came back around, still dancing,
Jabba pulling her steadily closer, she flicked the chain. She meant it
as defiance but it only excited him more and he started reeling her in,
tongue rubbing against fat lips. She glanced around; no Lando; no Chewie.
Where were they?!?
//Somebody get me out of here!//
She thought she saw something, eerie
and unreal, from the corner of her eye and far in the periphery, like a
dark cloak flickering momentarily. She snapped her around head to it. Nothing.
Now she was seeing things. Still there was a feeling... like acknowledgment.
The chin snapped her head forwards and she was pulled back to the present.
The tongue flicked out again and disgust
poured off her as she growled in defiance, snatching back at the chain.
The anger, and disgust burst past her disguise and showed fully on her
face. She summoned up her strength and spat at the Hutt.
That was a mistake.
Jabba's mood suddenly soured, expression
going black and she saw his fist hammer down on the dais, bellowing in
indignation. She screeched – No! - but it was too late.
The room cheered in expectation and
her feet skidded along the floor before the ground beneath her feet opened
and she was falling.
Darkness swallowed her as there was
a thunderous crack above her head. The air sang with the sour smell of
ozone. Explosions burst across the air in plumes of toxic smoke and cries
of confusion. The lights above her winked out as she hit the bottom and
rolled to her feet on sandy ground, dust grinding into her naked knee.
The chain tangled her arms together and she rushed through an adrenaline
haze to untangle herself.
Cries from above drifted down to her
as the diversion was launched – smoke bombs blinding the occupants of the
throne room; Vader's agents moving through the crowd, killing them; Lando
and Chewie going after the reinforcements - but with no Leia to free Han.
She looked up at the distant forms above her, the rumbling of the dais
closing off the hole she had dropped through.
Desperation took her voice and she
leapt to shaky, bruised feet, "No!!" she cried, clawing at the slick stone
walls, fingers scraping on the hard surface. "No! Lando! Chewie!" Her fingers
grasped for purchase on the walls but the dais covered the hole completely,
leaving total and absolute darkness.
It smothered her, so like the darkness
in her nightmares. She expected groping hands to take her from the corners,
expected raking bleached fingers to smother her sense, snake around her,
But Destiny had a different fate in
mind for Leia Organa from that of her brother's.
There was a ravenous roar behind her.
She fell in shock and frozen horror back to the ground, landing and tripping
on the debris on the floor. Her fingers clawed in the dirt as she tried
to stand in pitch black. It bit into her hands as she searched for a weapon,
anything she could use to defend herself. She found nothing except jagged
little splinters that dug beneath her fingernails.
Leia turned around as the creature
made its approach, and saw the shining yellow eyes fix on her as the faint
outline of a huge, scabbed creature appeared from an opening doorway. She
scrambled backwards, sucked in breath at the realisation of just how big
it really was. And screamed.
C h a p t e r N i n
door was open.
He lifted tired eyes, heavy under lashes
that hid him from the darkness swirling in little eddies around him and
frothing over with power when he touched them. His hands wrapped around
the deep carving on the seat he knelt beside, skin burning from the movement
after hours of pressing against the hard wooden floor. He felt the whisper-thin
tendrils of dark energy that entangled his legs and arms offer a little
support as he hauled himself to standing, teeth gritted, legs trembling.
body protested but his mind was gagged. The door... it was open.
His fingers pushed into the carving
of the seat arm until the skin began to bruise and he looked down at the
white marks on his fingertips, sudden hope blistering through him. He nearly
leapt forwards as the implications blossomed full and fervent in his head
– the door is open!! - and he staggered towards it.
The movement; sudden, exhilarating,
and of his own volition, was a mistake. He fell to hands and knees as his
legs gave out in a little cry of pain. He was sucking in hope and crying
out despair, his fingers digging into the rug, thick and reeking of the
Emperor, as he pulled himself to a half stand, stumbling forwards, half
supported by one hand on the floor and half by solid, desperate determination.
His heart thudded against his bruised
ribs, the only sound in the room. He didn't even know when his Master had
left, didn't even remember when he had obediently knelt by his side and
when he had been left there to a restless silence, nor why he had docilely
stayed like that, knees digging into the floor. He didn't know. It didn't
matter. The door mattered – the doorway, the escape. No guards. No drugs.
No Emperor. He could make it.
Adrenaline surged through his bruised
veins, nowhere near quenching his thirst for action, pushing him further
towards the door. The long black robes tried to entangle his feet, snaking
around his legs like the little swirls of dark energy he felt, trying to
make him trip, trying to make him fall.
But he didn't.
His hands grasped at the wooden doorframe
as he stumbled, muscles mewling like tortured, confused children at their
sudden abuse. It didn't matter. His eyes burned with tears, and they were
joyful not sad; not scared, not like the little spice-trails that had glittered
his cheeks for so long now. So long.... he didn't even know how long.
His hands found purchase on the frame
and he stood, sucking in breath, drinking in air that did not belong to
that cursed room behind him, where the Emperor taught, toyed with and tempted
his little pet. Luke was past even retching at the memories. They didn't
matter. The corridor mattered.
He walked out and collided in a dazed
stumble with the opposite wall. He took that energy and focused it forwards
pushing off the wall and moving down the corridor. He felt drunk. He felt
like he was wandering back to his bunk after a night on frigid Hoth with
his friends and a case of whiskey. His friends... they were... who were
they? He pushed his pale fists into his eyes, trying to see them, but all
he saw were crackled white hands and putrid eyes.
--... Your faith in your friends
would have destroyed you. They tried, but they failed, my young apprentice.
Failed only because of my intervention... --
He found his throat constricting at
the words, and he saw... who was that? A man with an easy smile and a gluttonous
ego and a blaster always strapped to his hip. His friend... what had his
Kid? No; no that wasn't right. He
had called Luke that.
Kid. As in... son?
His hands trembled as he guided himself
along stone passageways. Palpatine kept few servants here, and fewer droids.
It was as lonely as the grave, and colder.
He dug little red welts into his palm
with his fingernails, trying to hear that voice, trying to understand its
meaning, to know who said it. Trying to understand the longing that was
tearing him apart.
But... it didn't matter. It didn't.
Because Palpatine, hard, cruel, cold Palpatine said that it didn't matter.
That Luke had betrayed the voice and that it never really cared anyway.
And Palpatine said so; and Palpatine was always right.
Luke stumbled over his own feet and
The heavy black of the robes Palpatine
dressed his little doll in billowed as they settled, funeral shroud and
christening veil both. He was dying here; he felt it. But it wasn't true
death; it was his mind dying, dissected by Palpatine's sharp little claws,
pieces nicked out of him and explored before being discarded or twisted,
replaced or restructured.
Each day, each day with her bright
sunshine and her howling nights, he felt himself die a little; death by
degrees. Slowly. Oh-so painfully. And yet, it wasn't death. It was birth.
It was replacement. It was Palpatine sculpting with little, delicate, well-placed
carving strokes on the raw potential he saw in Luke Skywalker.
That was the detached view; that was
the third person view. But Luke lived this first person, his mind shattering
into little shards like coloured glass needles, and Palpatine picking a
precious few to re-use, crushing the rest beneath his feet as he stormed
around that cold, cold room, 'teaching'.
His palms rested on the cold stone
and he pushed up off the floor, back on his feet, moving again, a drunkard
staggering from the brewery like his life depended on it. And it did.
A servant rounded the corner as Luke
did and they collided, dark Little Jedi and confused human slave stumbling.
The tall human's eyes bugged like he'd taken a step through an open airlock
and Luke panicked. Truly. His fear called that dark power to him, that
power Palpatine poured into him with little strokes and sucked up greedily
when his toy worked as it was supposed to.
The servant went for a weapon, any
weapon and Luke stepped out into detached, emotionless third person as
the boy he had once been threw his hand out and crushed the servant against
the wall, bantha stepping on a jawa. The man never even found the time
to scream as his body convulsed and the jawbone cracked with a hollow whumph!
He looked at the body curiously, shock
in its unseeing eyes. His hand fell to his side, the dark power whirling
little bug trails around his mind, searing little paths through to that
ability in his memory. It was beautiful and it was irreversible. Perhaps
Luke Skywalker was already dead.
He stumbled on.
* * * *
He pelted down darkened stairwells
and through low doorways.
Chaos reigned. It reigned in a galaxy
under Palpatine's withered little hands, it reigned in Lord Vader's mind
when he tried to untangle his feelings from his motives about his son,
and it reigned in Jabbas smoking, darkened Palace.
Vader swept through, down, going down,
following the cry he had heard in his mind. Somebody get me out of here!
In the darkness, cloaked by a Darkside
veil that hid him from any of the Palace guards not running around in panic,
he could move freely. He could have chosen to go after Jabba the Hutt,
he did after all have an old debt to settle, or to get Solo himself and
avoid any more mishaps. But he didn't. He followed the Princess's frantic
call, wondering at how it had reached him, wondering at why it had felt
like his heart had undergone sudden decompression and imploded.
His saber lit ruby-red in the dark
light before the Rancor pit and the guard's eyes bulged before the blade
slipped through him and he collapsed with a tired sigh.
Emotions boiled through the Dark Lord,
dark and confusing. He was running for the door to the pit, slicing hurriedly
through the bars and slipping into the dark. The sudden urgency he felt
was overpowering. Yes he needed the Princess alive to find his son, but
there was something else here, screaming in background like an obstinate
The Rancor loomed large and he couldn't
see the little Princess behind it, but he could feel her presence, fear
pouring off in a torrent that nearly knocked him over in shock at its potency.
Never had he been able to sense another's emotions so effortlessly, except
The saber sizzled and skin burst when
he swiped it across the rancor's thigh. It howled in rage and turned on
him, Leia calling out to him through the darkness, screaming, telling him
to go after Han.
Stubborn, foolish girl. So much like
Luke in that respect. So much.
A Rancor fist grabbed at him and it
fell to the floor, severed as the blade cut through it. The creature became
irate and lashed out behind it, striking Organa and throwing her to a collision
with the wall to land in a dark little heap on the floor.
Something like panic hit him as she
hit the stone wall and the Force rushed to him. He pushed and the
Rancor howled in pain before falling unconscious as its head struck the
pit side. Dust, blood, spittle rained down as it collapsed to the floor
and Vader jumped around it to the Princess' side. She was raising herself
onto one elbow, moaning weakly. Something struck him like a kick to his
heart and pieces of a puzzle he hadn't even known he was trying to solve
began to fall into place.
Stubborn, foolish girl.
Why did he care so much, why was there
a little voice screaming at him to get her out of there? Darth Vader didn't
care about her, Darth Vader didn't waste emotions on the pain of others,
or their fear. Darth Vader had no emotions like that.
Well, then, perhaps there was more
to him than just Darth Vader.
The thought tore through him and he
stood very still in the dark, saber hissing, knowing that with that thought
he had contradicted everything he had forced himself to believe in for
the past twenty years and finding a strange, perverse comfort in it. Perhaps
it was just revisiting Tatooine that had made these emotions start boiling
up in him.
Except... hadn't it started on Bespin?
Started when blue eyes locked on blue and burned away the light-years between
Darth Vader and Anakin Skywalker? Hadn't it erupted after Luke's death?
He lifted her small form into his arms
and headed out of the pit, the rancor not stirring. His hands touched her
arm where the creature had slashed her skin with razor-sharp claws, drawing
blood. Electricity bounded up his arm and realisation began pounding at
the door to be let in.
* * * *
The big, flat door rumbled aside and
wind gusted through to him, nearly shattering his resolve in the icy bite
on his pale skin. The heavy black robes hid none of it, and the darkness
could not banish it.
A delicious sound, a comforting embrace,
a loving kiss against his mind pulled him forwards into the open docking
bay. The stone slipped under his feet but he didn't fall. Not yet. Tired
eyes took in the large room, devoid of vehicles, devoid of life, snow drifting
through the open door to creep across the stone.
The sound built and he turned his head,
trying to find it, feeling like a small black smudge against the cool white
and stone background.
But that sound... it was beautiful,
and he had not seen nor heard beauty in... too long. It wrapped him in
a warm embrace of love and he blinked back tears of joy at the sound, so
familiar and warm in the frigid air.
He stumbled for the entrance to the
empty docking bay, stumbled until his legs gave out and he was kneeling
in the snow before the doors, Hoth flashing through his mind... Hoth and
a creature that attacked him, a man that rescued him, a...
Frustrated and angry, he shook the
memories away, unable to understand them any longer. They were... not his.
One pale, pale hand went to his forehead
and he cried out in frustration. The singing built and he lifted his head
as a snowy wind whipped at his hair, brushing feather-like cold fingers
over his face so unlike Palpatine's claws. He forced his eyes to open past
the tears freezing on his cheeks, little icicles mocking the swathes of
frostbitten snow before him. Born in a desert... died in a desert? Why
He couldn't get his feet to stand so
he half-crawled forwards and the singing built until he looked up, lashes
blurring with heavy snowdrifts. He looked up into the big, sad brown eyes
of a woman, her hand reaching tentatively for his cheek. He would have
gasped, would have screamed but the wind stole his voice.
It didn't steal hers. She sang, voice
a smoky timbre that reminded him of... someone. He knew the song though
– it was a lullaby. A child's lullaby, soothing and gentle and familiar
and her hand brushed away his fear and despair with the sparkling, blue,
eerily unreal touch.
He formed a word on his lips and didn't
even recognise it himself, a word he had never addressed anyone with and
his mind didn't understand. Mother.
She smiled brilliantly and nodded and
he still didn't understand.
There was a murderous chuckle behind
him, a familiar voice grating slicing the air as the woman faltered, smile
fleeing before the Emperor. She look troubled, her song dying and her throat
choked with tears. Her ethereal arm slipped through Luke's, grasping for
him as he turned to his Master.
His breath froze in front of him as
Palpatine stepped into the snow, smiling.
"Leave us, Amidala. You failed far
too long ago to make up for it now."
The words sent little ripples through
the woman's figure and she shot a harrowed glance at Luke that was pure
despair. Then the wind took her, blowing little glittering sparkles away
with the swirls of snow that made it into the hanger entrance. He looked
at them despairingly, heart wrenching for her and not understanding why.
"Does nobody stay dead anymore?"
His lips were floundering in silence
and he turned as he felt a presence behind him, approaching and then he
couldn't turn away from those furious yellow eyes, frozen in the snow.
The bitter cold was turning his skin a sickly shade of pink and there was
a memory there... something... another unreal figure in the snow....
Had he had his voice, he might have
screamed in frustration.
A hand was laid in his freezing hair,
"Obi-Wan would have done better to appear himself than send her," Palpatine
muttered, and the words fled from Luke's mind even as he wondered at them,
shoved away by the little weaving tangles of dark energy the Emperor splayed
in Luke's mind.
* * * *
He tried to push away the feeling that
he was missing something. Tried not to starting shouting in annoyance at
the frustrating confusion and the dark little fingers of the Force that
seemed to be playing in his mind, steeling the information away as he tried
to chase it down.
He took the steps up from the pit two
at time, the saber still lit and bathing terrified, confused faces in blood-light.
He slowed to a walk as he entered the throne room and strode across the
dance floor, Jabba bellowing.
Leia's head lolled against his arm,
mumbling soft words. The room was hot and smoky but her skin was frozen,
her lips blue. She shivered violently and he looked at her in yet more
confusion, wondering how she could be so cold and who she was talking to.
She looked locked in a trance.
He was striding for the alcove where
Solo's frozen form was still hanging when Leia said something coherent.
He hit a mental wall and rebounded,
almost dropping his bundle of disguised princess as the truth finally registered
in his mind. Her lips moved more but he couldn't hear her. She had a distant,
far-away look in her eyes, glazed and murky and a strange blue playing
Leia Organa, adopted daughter or Bail
Organa, friend of Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Leia Organa, rescued by a Tatooine
farmboy who formed an inexplicable fascination for her.
Leia Organa, who sensed his son's thoughts
even when he could not-
"Amidala?" Her brow puckered in confusion
and he nearly, nearly dropped her then, on hearing a name so sorely
missed and so hated in his darkest moments. And then, remembering her...
looking at the Princess... it was obvious. Blindingly obvious, and he felt
like a fool.
Leia Organa was his daughter.
Oh, but how she looked like her. How
foolish he had been, how blind. But wasn't it like Kenobi to hide her in
plain sight as he had hidden his son on his home world?
Something broke then, something died,
something withered in his heart and he felt... joy. It poisoned him, Darth
Vader, whose emotions could only ever revolve around his hatred. He had
lost a son... gained a daughter.
No. Luke was not lost. Not yet.
But if he stood here all day staring in amazement at the daughter he had
never before imagined existed, then he would be lost.
He cradled her a little closer, held
her a little tighter, and moved for the block of carbonite as a wookiee
with singed hair and Calrissian with his blaster held defensively joined
him, faces grim.
* * * *
"Where are you running to, Little Jedi?"
The hand left his hair, the fingers scraping his skin as the Emperor stood
and moved away from him.
In the cold light of morning, dark
little snowflakes smudged the white of the sky as he peered up into it,
knowing his voice was lost again, like so much else in his life. Gone.
Taken. Ripped away.
The voice whispered hot in his mind,
"Go then. Run. If that is what you wish."
Luke's heart soared, reaching for the
sky with her white background and her dark specks of snow, the absolute
opposite of the night sky he had longed to be close to on... Tatooine?
Where was that? What was that?
His hands sunk into the snow up to
his wrists as he pushed off the floor and he stood, shaking. He didn't
look back, he'd never look back, as he stumbled forwards and the Emperor
made no move to stop him.
He stopped himself.
He hit a wall, but there was nothing
there. He felt a leash tighten around his throat but there was nobody holding
it. He coughed and choked for words, a little dark statue against the snow.
Against freedom. Against.... loneliness, death, weakness.
"Why have you stopped, Little Jedi?"
The words swept in darkness over the snow, a shadow appearing over him.
"I..." Frost kissed his lips and silenced
him. His dreams died. His heart died. He died.
Palpatine let him Fall back down to
the snow and the room sang with his victory, dark and sickening, not at
all like the soft, comforting words of that strange woman who touched his
cheek with true compassion, not possession.
He wanted to move. He wanted to run.
He wanted his feet under him, his sanity back in his hands, running to
a cold death beyond the Palace walls.
Palpatine knelt behind him and Luke
choked on words of protest when he encircled his body in arms that offered
no warmth, no comfort, only ownership and pain. His body cried for him
to fight and he shook uncontrollably when he didn't.
The black robes of the Emperor wrapped
around him, pulling him back against his Master and the lips whispered
breath without heat against his cheeks. "Are you going to leave me now,
"You... you've taken everything from
me." He wanted to fight but the Emperor touched his lips to silence him.
His voice whispered protests against those fingers but neither heard them.
"I've given you truth."
Luke's eyes closed until there was
only the biting wind and the Emperor, the coarse fabric of his robes rubbing
against his cheek.
"I don't want it!" he gasped.
The wind slapped him, stinging his
face. Palpatine's fingers enclosed on ice-kissed cheeks, hand across his
mouth, his eyes, blocking out all perceptions except sound. Luke's fear
poured out of him as it had that first night and his resilience fled into
the snow storm that had built around them, whipping at them, laughing at
Master and apprentice.
"You do. You felt it, earlier. You
want it. It is a part of you now." The hand tightened and he was
pressed back tighter against the Emperor, all fight gone. Yes, he had felt
it. Yes it had felt good. "Will you leave me now, Little Dark Jedi?"
Little Jedi... shush... quiet now...
Stay//leave? Live//die? Dark//light?
Who was he asking? Luke Skywalker or... someone else? Palpatine's little
"I hate you."
"I know. Will you leave?"
--... Luke you must get out... get
C h a p t e r T e n
eyes flicked over to him again before he turned eyes-front and continued
the short trudge through the desert storms. Still in his arms, Leia was
ominously quiet. In Chewbacca’s arms, Solo was equally unconscious, although
his was forced by sedative after they defrosted him. Leia, his daughter
and Solo, her lover. The Princess and the smuggler; not so unlike the Queen
and the slave, so long ago now. How had he missed it?
He pushed those thoughts away as the
Corellian freighter became visible through the gritty winds of his childhood,
as Chewbacca climbed the ramp and immediately took his partner to the med
bunk, grumbling all the while about the sand in his hair. It was probably
the same bunk his son had laid upon after Bespin… probably this was the
same uneasy quiet that had descended on the small group. And as much as
he would shove those difficult thoughts away, he couldn’t escape them here,
amongst his children’s friends and his own enemies.
Leia didn’t stir when he laid her on
a separate bunk; she had gone deathly quiet after her brief delusional
mumbling in Jabba’s now scorched throne room. Even the loud crack of the
thermal detonator exploding and destroying all evidence of Vader’s participation
in the bungled rescue hadn’t woken her. It was probably just the concussion.
"Get us into orbit."
Calrissian barely blanched at the order,
but his eyes remained stern and hard with unease. "Chewie? Could use a
copilot." The man’s voice lacked its usual cheep-silk charm, and was caustic
from too much blaster backwash in the firefight. Vader could easily have
piloted, or copiloted, but there was no way Calrissian would let him anywhere
near the controls.
The wookiee finished arranging his
partner on the pallet and growled with deep concern. The choice was a difficult
one – let Vader copilot and Han’s worst enemy touch his precious ship,
or leave Han and Leia with the Dark Lord? He grumbled but trudged after
Calrissian for the cockpit, shoving a hypo into Vader’s hands, a serum
to counteract the sedative.
Vader stood staring at the unconscious
Captain for long minutes that stretched into the whine of repulsorlifts
starting. The Falcon lifted deceptively smoothly as he relented
and injected the hypo. This would not be easy.
Solo stirred restlessly before his
eyes shot open and fixed on Vader. He was awake in an adrenaline-rushed
heartbeat, and Vader almost regretted including the drug that would cure
his hibernation blindness. Still, the sound of his respirator would have
given him away, as would his voice. Solo lurched to his feet and immediately
collapsed to the deck with a howl when his frozen muscles refused to remember
how to work. He shivered but Vader didn’t offer a hand in help – he didn’t
think it would be appreciated. Solo retreated away until his back collided
with the foot of the bunk.
"You!" He pointed a finger at Vader,
using it like a weapon to keep his nemesis away. “What are you doing here…?"
He looked around suddenly and his eyes grew wide. “What are you
doing on my ship?" He growled. “And what am I doing here?"
The accusing finger began to shake
with fatigue and Solo clutched it back, the bolts from his eyes enough
to keep the Sith at bay.
"Captain Solo, I-“
"Don’t ‘Captain Solo’ me! What
are we doing here?" He seemed to notice the deckplates vibrating with the
heavy humm of the engines. “And who’s flying my ship?"
So many questions… so arrogant. How
did his daughter put up with this man? He was hardly suitable for the daughter
of Darth Vader. He -
Vader cut off that thought abruptly,
one of those over-protective father thoughts that had plagued him since
discovering the existence of more Skywalkers that threatened to tear his
cool, aloof Dark Lord image into little irretrievable pieces.
"Calrissian and your wookiee are flying.
We are leaving Tatooine. The Princess and-“
"Princess??" His eyes flicked around
the small bay and he leapt to his feet when he spotted Leia, out cold with
a bruise deepening on her temple. “What did you do!?" He tried to
run to her but fell, landing close enough to touch her arm tentatively
and then remove it as if burned.
"Nothing, she hit her head when –“
Solo turned a stony stare on him, his
concern admirable even if he was hardly suitable for her. “Don’t give me
that you-“ Would he never let Vader finish explaining? It was his
turn to be interrupted.
"Captain Solo, I have not touched Princess
Leia, and you are not in my custody. I just participated in your rescue."
He made the words rumble in deep bass tones around the small room and Solo
stilled, frown puckering his forehead.
“I participated in your rescue. You
were held by Jabba in his Tatooine stronghold which is now… no more," he
replied. He finally offered Solo a hand to help him stand and the smuggler
scowled at it like it held a lit lightsaber. His muscles bunched as he
levered himself up with the bunk side.
"Why would you do that?" The brown
eyes declared an astute intelligence that warned off from lying. But Vader
never had any intention of that.
"It is… complicated," he replied slowly,
cautiously, words cat-footing across the hold. Solo seated himself on Leia’s
bunk and tentatively brushed a swirl of hair from her cheek. His eyes seemed
sad to see the sharply cut hair and Vader had to resist the urge to stop
the smuggler from touching his daughter.
"Looks like we’ve got plenty of time,
Vader. Why don’t you start at the beginning?"
Vader suppressed a deep sigh at the
vehemence there, but it was completely understandable. For himself, he
felt a little less loathing for the smuggler, a little more respect. It
was… disturbing that he could so easily stop those feelings of hate and
turn them into a begrudging acceptance. “Very well. We called a truce.
I want Luke. The Princess wants Luke. So we are working together… at least
temporarily. She would not, however, leave-“
Again, Solo interrupted with a sour
stare and a grimace, “So she and Luke finally got it together while I was
gone, huh? Shoulda’ known she’d eventually fall for the farmboy look after…
everything that went on between them."
Vader felt his stomach begin a slow
dive for the deck plates at the implications. “No. Leia and Luke are not…
together. Why would you say that? Have they ever…?" He couldn’t even say
it! Unbeknownst brother and sister… an item? Kenobi had much to answer
for, but this would be beyond the pale.
That was it; his stomach hit the deck
and he leapt to his feet enraged, cursing.
Solo looked at him a little quizzically
and even more alarmed. “Huh?"
Vader felt dark, nauseous images begin
to cloud his mind and he shoved them away roughly “What… what have they
Solo was staring suspiciously now.
“Just kissed a couple of times, far as I know," he said slowly, eyes growing
wide when Vader slumped against the wall in relief. They hadn’t… gone further.
He was blessing every deity he’d ever heard of and swearing allegiance
to the merciful side of the Force, not appreciative of Destiny’s sick sense
Solo stood on shaky feet and stalked
forwards, eclipsing Leia. “Look, you better start making sense soon or
I’ll have Chewie toss you out an airlock, truce or not." He looked around
warily. “Where is Chewie anyway?" His eyes narrowed even further, if that
Thankful for an alternative line of
conversation, Vader replied quickly; a little too quickly. “He is piloting
"What is he-“
"Captain Solo, we may have called a
temporary truce, but if you do not stop interrupting me during every explanation
then I will throw you out the airlock, my daughter’s mate
As soon as the words were spoken he
felt stupidity hammer at him.
* * * *
"Leia, what do you remember of your
mother? Your real mother?"
Leia blinked tired brown eyes and pushed
at the shards of brown hair obscuring her vision. Sat beside her on the
medbunk, Han held a troubled expression firmly in place of the delight
she knew was plastering her face.
"Not much, really. A few images, a
few feelings. I think she must have died when I was very young. Why?" She
accepted the hand the helped her to sit up and pushed disgustedly at the
dancers uniform. The Falcon hummed at sublight, and she wondered
at the absence of Vader. Perhaps he hadn’t made it out – or perhaps Chewie
or Lando hadn’t. She couldn’t remember, dark feelings of complete loss
and misery clouding her memories. She thought there might have been snow…
but Tatooine hadn’t known snow in millennia. There was darkness, and that
seemed familiar, but also love, and that seemed foreign.
"Her name? Do you remember her name?"
She clasped his hand in her own and
gave him a quizzical stare. “Why?"
"It’s important Leia." The words came
down hard, demanding and bitten short by his obvious agitation.
She wanted to question him more, to
demand her own answers, but the air was frigid with anticipation, so she
He inhaled sharply, voice caustic.
“Sithspawn. He was right." He almost laughed at some private joke
and rubbed a calloused hand over his face, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
"Han, what is it?" she asked, words
gentle. Perhaps the carbon freeze had left some after affects; perhaps
he was in shock…
He brushed a hand across her cheek
tentatively and bit his lip. It wasn’t a mannerism she was used to from
this hardened smuggler. He was soft, gentle, tired. Han Solo… yes she loved
him. She had never doubted it, but now she found her heart hammering to
be free of her chest, terrified of something… of his next words, of his
next expression, of his next touch. She shivered.
"Leia… there’s something you should
know," he whispered, stroking her cheek softly. It brought up strange,
macabre feelings that felt both foreign and familiar and she didn’t know
whether to accept the comfort or run from it.
"What?" Her voice shivered in apprehension.
"I know about Luke. About Vader." Leia
squeezed his hand tighter and he looked on it before tracing little lines
of dirt on her fingers. My hands are dirty. It really didn’t matter.
She felt her lips try to form an apology,
sympathy, but nothing came out. This wasn’t the revelation.
"But there’s more and I… we
thought it might be better if I told you." He wasn’t looking into
her eyes. Han Solo always gave it to you straight, always told it as he
saw it. Not now.
"What?" She felt like it had to be
the only word in her vocabulary, but it was the only one that mattered.
"There’s another Skywalker, Leia. This
isn’t easy to tell you but-“
She felt the sob pulled from her throat
before he finished as the truth, mean and heartless and irrevocable settled
around her, water on a drenched ground. “Me?"
His eyes finally met hers and he nodded
before pulling her into a deep embrace. “I’m sorry, Leia. I’m so sorry."
To him the words sounded small and
cruel; to her they were at least an acceptance of her regardless. And she
cried, him pushing the little trails of tears from her eyes with his thumbs,
her unable to tell him that she cried not because she had gained a demonic
father, but had gained a brother already ripped from her.
Seconds, minutes, hours later and the
tears were dry at last, Han holding her like he would never let go. She
held on even tighter, needing to know he never would. The rasp of Vader’s
respirator filled the doorway and she lifted her eyes to him, her father.
Her hands tightened around Han’s shirt
and her fingernails dug welt in her palms. “Please… don’t bother," she
spat, but it was not vehement, only tired. Vader was distinctly uneasy,
but what did he expect? Her to run to him and jump into his arms screaming
Do you? You’re not my father by
anything other than a cruel twist of fate.
He stilled his approach and she wondered
if he had heard her before realising that she didn’t care if he had.
Leia pushed strands of wet hair from
her eyes, and stared him down. “Where are we?"
He paused before answering, not happy
with the change of subject. “Holding orbit around Tatooine. I could contact
the fleet and find out where the Rebel Feet is holding out, but…"
"That would look suspicious," she agreed,
“Palpatine will know." Strangely detached from the situation, strangely
not talking to her father but to her erstwhile ally, she rose. “They’re
Han looked up in shock at her, eyes
"We need to find Luke. And I can think
of only one person who might know where he might is."
He stood beside her, eyeing Vader warily.
Vader stepped forwards boldly and Leia
was surprised when she didn’t move back from him in disgust. “Mothma."
She saw Han’s jaw harden at that name,
“Right." There was nothing but a barely concealed loathing there. “I’ll
set course. It’s about time she got what’s coming."
Leia might have argued against his
obvious hatred for their former leader, but she couldn’t swear that it
wasn’t something she didn’t feel herself. As Han stalked from the room
Vader approached cautiously. She looked up sharply at him, then forced
her anger to cool down. They both stood there, staring, neither knowing
what to say.
"I should have told you myself," he
She pushed at the short hair that Han
had described as ‘different, but lovely and tried to glower. She
failed and just sighed, sinking back to the bunk. “No, I think it was better
from Han. Look at how Luke reacted to you telling him."
She almost managed a smirk and he laughed
mirthlessly. “He jumped off a gantry."
There was more distinctly painful silence
before she shifted to stare into that dark mask, wondering. How had this
man been married to her mother? Or was he married at all; was she just
a fling, a whore, a rape-
She flew to her feet at the thought
and his hand shot out to hold her stop her from running, clearly hearing
those random thoughts. “You think I have no honour," he hissed, incensed,
“I loved her, and she was my wife. Or rather, Anakin’s wife."
Anakin. Anakin Skywalker. That name
was easier to call father than Darth Vader and she almost took comfort
"I… No, that’s not true. I just don’t
understand," she said, taking a shivering breath.
"It is… complicated."
She wore her stern Senatorial gaze,
“Isn’t it always?"
"I did not say that I wouldn’t explain,
just that it may take a while," he rumbled.
Realising she had been jumping on every
word he said, she just nodded. This was so hard, almost too hard to stand
and take, to have Bail banished by Vader. It went too far; Destiny went
too far with this particular joke. But Leia was strong, had always been
strong. And now, when she might never know Luke as a brother, she could
at least try and know her errant father. Try.
"I understand," she murmured, and realised
the she did indeed appreciate how difficult this was for them both. She
had spent so long trying to understand what Luke had gone through in those
hours of understanding that when it came to her turn, it was not quite
as sharp as she might have expected.
Perhaps… perhaps it also had something
to do with Vader’s rapidly shifting attitude.
"Leia… “ She looked up, “There is one
thing I must ask…. Do you know how Amidala died?"
"Amidala? That was my mother’s name?
I never knew… I called her Padmé." The question had shocked her both by
the humanity and the content. “No. They never told me," she said sadly.
"Is that how you found out about me…
about us?" She realised she had backed away from him unconsciously and,
chiding herself, took a step closer.
"Yes. She was known as Amidala, and
as Padmé. You called for her in the throne room," he said, also taking
a step nearer to his daughter.
The room chilled and something like
realisation hit her. ”I called her Amidala?”
“But I didn’t know her as Amidala,"
she whispered, and Vader inhaled sharply. “I remember… images. I saw her,
as I remembered her, only older, and through a blizzard. And someone said
that name… I think it was. It was-“
Her eyes flew open, wide with fear
and Vader grabbed her arm, “Palpatine?"
Oh, stars. She had been in contact
with Luke and neither of them had realised it at the time. But why was
Luke seeing his mother, and why did Palpatine say her name…? She shook
her head fiercely, brown hair swishing. None of this made sense. Her father
was ominously quiet and she looked up to see him staring blankly into space.
"Princess," he said formally. “I want
to try something."
She found a lump forming in her throat.
"I want to see if we can contact Luke
again. Palpatine is blocking me from him, but he does not know of you,
and your connection to your… twin."
Twin. Twin. She had never thought
of it like that. Flesh torn from flesh, the mewling of an infant, and sad
brown eyes filled with tears…. It was so familiar, a memory dear but forgotten.
Luke. Her twin. Luke and Leia Skywalker. It sounded… right. Hadn’t she
been thinking that she was no longer Princess, nor Senator, no Rebel Leader
Leia Organa? Hadn’t she thought she was now just Leia? Well, she had been
wrong. She was Leia, but Leia Skywalker.
She inhaled sharply. "Let’s do it."
C h a p t e r E l e
v e n
fire was bright enough that when he held his fingers out in front the flames
they glowed with the red crayon outline of a child's drawing. Even then,
it took focus to recognise the hand as his own, to know the pain in his
knees from remaining kneeling so long belonged to him, that the heat on
his skin was truly his. And when he found that focus, doubts began to crawl
across his vision, uncertainty making him shiver, not convinced anything
was his own anymore. Not certain he even existed anymore as anything other
than disparate feelings and images that failed to form a coherent whole.
Luke Skywalker. Luke. Sky. Walker.
Luke – a strong name that Beru
had called light when she sang in sad, hushed tones when no one but Luke
- Starlight, starbright,
Soon light returns the night...
A name he’d heard countless voices
calling, but could no longer remember who they belonged to. He could only
conjure up vague images that might be no more real than the nightmares
that took him in the night. Luke; hero, farmboy, Jedi. He was none of those,
not anymore. So perhaps he was no longer Luke.
Sky. All the skies he had seen
had been different: brilliant shades of blue; washed cloud covered mists;
boiling angry grey. Sky – there were so many possibilities, so perhaps
he owned that, perhaps one of those belonged to him. Perhaps he just no
longer knew which.
Walker. Walk; to travel, to
move on. That he owned, because he felt the changes pushing at him, prodding
and pinching as much as the medics needles and Emperor's strokes. He was
moving on from what he had been to something new, something dictated by
the Emperor, his Master. But then, if he had once owned that word, and
was now moving on, perhaps he no longer owned it at all and wallowed instead
in a paradox.
He sighed. Luke Skywalker. That couldn’t
be him, could it?
He traced the red-rimmed outline of
his fingers, staring. If he wasn’t Luke Skywalker, then who was he? His
Master stood on the other side of the hall, atmosphere awash with the black
storm clouds and his already foul mood, for once not the fault of Lu- of
He watched the fire dance; watched
it curl and twist, and smiled.
* * * *
"I... I don't know how."
Han's hand squeezed hers a little tighter,
encouragement in the gentle reassurance of his skin on hers. On her other
side Vader's hand tightened in urgency and the small circle of three –
Leia, Han, Vader – remained cross-legged on the floor despite her protestations.
"You can do it. You have this strength.
Please, Princess. We need to try this." That was Vader.
She nodded numbly despite all three
remaining with eyes closed. She pushed back awareness of the cold deck
underneath her, of the sting of coolant vapour in the back of her throat,
and concentrated. She knew Luke could do this, knew he could touch the
Force in an eye blink, but she found her breath labouring at the effort
and her eyes flew open disgustedly. "I can't do it! I just don't have it."
Han's wide brown eyes opened and he
smiled ruefully, "Well, Luke did get it a lot quicker."
"It doesn't matter. You can do it,
Leia. You did it... on the Death Star." Vader said with an earnestness
she was more used to from her newly found and lost brother. Icy determination
colder than the metal deck plates made her take both their hands back in
hers and close her eyes. Any mention of the Death Star brought her hackles
up again. Her interrogation session... mediated by her father. Anger flared
and she pushed it aside, concentrating.
"I'll try," she said wearily.
"If you try, you will fail. You must
be determined to succeed, nothing else will do." Vader said as he gripped
her hand harder. Leia had noted during the short trip, after her initial
vehemence had died into a whisper of hatred and pain, that he was attempting
to make more contact with her. Small things: a touch on her arm in support;
leaning closer when sharing information; attempting to not be so imposing
against his daughter who was a good foot and a half shorter than him. But
it didn't disturb her, and that was both worrying and heartening. In the
few brief minutes she had stolen with Han, they had agreed wholeheartedly
on one thing:
Darth Vader had changed.
* * * *
Murmurs of conversation in the background
did not grab his attention. Murmurs from the fire licking at the heart
did not possess him. He let his thoughts drift easily on the dust motes.
He let the feelings of the rug underneath his knees be quashed by the feel
of the room in the Force, darkened now but not any stronger than in the
light. Only more... potent.
His eyes sparked with the fire and
his vision exploded.
* * * *
Leia's hands gripped Han's and Vader's
suddenly and she gave a startled little gasp. Beside her, her father whispered
* * * *
He felt... he felt something familiar,
delicious. Something like smiling and crying, something like laughter and
tears. He blinked but his vision remained shattered and he dropped his
hands to the rug to steady himself, taking handfuls of the thick pile between
his fingers. A name lingered on his lips, a name loved, cherished, needed;
so needed he felt his eyes pricked by the sting of tears and his voice
fled. He didn't need it.
* * * *
She gasped, laughed, cried. Vader held
her down, his Force-sense dancing in firelight.
* * * *
Luke? Was he Luke?
-- starlight, starbright... --
Was she talking to him, or someone
who stood in the shadows where he couldn't see, couldn't reach. He frowned.
//Luke.// The call came again,
- soon light returns... -
* * * *
Leia frowned and world tilted under
her. If the others hadn't held her up, she would have fallen, even from
being seated. Who? Who? What did he mean? Firelight danced, stonework sucking
in the heat from a great hearth. Before she could have thought again, a
new presence asked for entrance to her mind, pleading almost, beckoning
almost. Vader. Father. She let him in.
* * * *
//My son... where are you?//
Luke shook his head furiously at the
dark images. Son? He was nobody’s son. There was no one to call him son;
no one to call father. His fingers tightened and the image of a dark death-mask
swam into his vision, jet black; cold, cruel black; black like so much
of his life. He knew that mask. Knew that voice that didn't hiss, that
trembled with excitement and expectation. But who was it talking to?
//Who am I?// he asked, suddenly
The voice shivered and he swallowed
hard, leaning towards the dark images.
//Luke Skywalker, my son.//
Luke? Skywalker? That couldn't be right.
The Emperor said… he said... he whispered, he stroked, he said there was
no Luke Skywalker anymore. No Luke. No light.
--... starlight, starbright…--
He had no name until he earned it.
* * * *
Vader felt disgust rip through him
as he heard those thoughts. Luke was still there, he could feel it; burning
bright and resilient, but buried. Buried because Palpatine told him so,
because Luke had no one left to believe in, not even himself. The Emperor
was driving out Luke and replacing him with something else, something macabre
and Luke still fought, he just didn't realise it.
//You are Luke Skywalker, named
after your father, Anakin Skywalker.//
His vision of the fire swung precariously
as Luke nodded. // I was, but Vader killed him. So if the father
doesn't exist, why should the son?//
Vader’s hand tightened and Leia didn't
protest at the pain. He felt her mental call of anguish as she, too, realised
the mess Palpatine was making of her brother's mind.
Palpatine had told him Vader had lied;
that called out loud and clear, burning bright over every other thought.
* * * *
He had given the name of 'father' to
another, to the one who murdered him. How could he ever trust himself again?
Luke shivered, focusing on the dark mask.
//I don't know who I am.//
The feelings that returned were tinged
with sadness and outrage, pity and hatred. Hatred Luke knew well, and sadness.
But pity... no one pitied him here, even the medics that tended his Master's
punishments never spoke, never looked into greying blue eyes.
//You do. Search your feelings,
Luke. Your father lives still. I am your father.//
-- I know it's true, they did a
blood test… --
-- …why do you keep calling to me,
my son? --
-- I don't care whose son you are.
You're still Luke Skywalker… --
* * * *
He felt his son shake at the words
and pushed on. //Search your feelings, you know it be true.// Seeing
through Luke's eyes, through his mind, images flickered; Bespin in shades
of grey and red and forgotten feelings swelling.
There was a stillness and then his
heart jumped with a sudden cry, full of pleading and knowledge, rushing
headfirst into a mental wall that crumbled and Luke's awareness leapt in
realisation of the lie Palpatine had told, still clouded by longing and
//Get me out of here!!//
* * * *
His lips burned, wanting to scream.
Palpatine lied!! He had a father – he did! He lied.
-- Never to be deceived again --
-- Never to be... --
-- ... deceived... --
//Hold on Luke, we're coming.//
That was Leia; sweet, honey-toned Leia, voice singing in hope that
Luke let wash over him.
Footsteps of outrage behind him echoed
across the hall, then black cloth sweeping over the rug and his heart stilled
in sudden dread, fear, loathing, terror.
Something grabbed him, shook him, hurled
words of outrage at him. He might have braced himself, might have tried
to just lay and take the punishment but when Leia screamed in mutual pain
he pushed at the Sith, dark Force eddies strangling the other's
words of outrage. Force lightening hit harder and he screamed.
It tangled his legs and brought his
vision rushing back to snap to the stone ceiling. He was lying now on his
back, the Emperor approaching, furious, fingertips sparking like arc welders.
Luke couldn't crawl backwards and there was no return to his mental calls,
the contact lost. His lips moved to form words of defiance, or even a call
for mercy, but there was no sound. The Emperor reached down and took a
handful of blonde hair, yanking him to his feet with a pitiful cry of pain
from tortured muscles.
Luke shut his eyes, knowing no pleading
would stop the outburst of anger from his Master.
Palpatine worked him until he clawed,
screamed, cried out; cut him until he begged. Then he sat beside the sobbing
body, face broken down from seething anger to something more serene and
far more dangerous.
"Tell me again, what is your name,
Little Dark Jedi?" He breathed the words over tender, burnt skin and they
exploded in little fiery patterns.
"I don't have a name, Master," he said,
almost believing it again.
"And your father?"
"I have no father," he whispered. He
dearly wanted to curl up on his self and scream in anguish but Palpatine
remained seated beside him for long seconds, considering, incensed enough
not to even touch his toy.
"I see you forget your place too easily,
child,” he said, almost offhandedly, “I must be more… diligent. You have
only yourself to blame, child."
Luke stilled as the far door cracked
open and Palace servants poured through in meaningful steps.
* * * *
Leia tore from the contact, screaming.
She rushed to her feet, shaking, and collided with the wall. Her own vision
came back slowly and she shook as Han came to his feet and caught her as
she fell, sobbing. She buried her tears in his shoulder, Vader never moving
from his cross-legged position on the floor.
Han lowered her opposite him and she
tried to stop the shaking, tried to banish the last remnants of pain and
terror, knowing now just how real those nightmares had been. She looked
at Vader, deathly quiet. Even without the Force, the outrage was obvious,
the air crackling with his anger.
"Vader?" Her voice was steadier than
her nerves. There was absolutely no answer, absolutely no reaction.
She stared at him, eyes growing wide
as realisation slammed full force into her gut. Something had happened,
during that exchange, something had happened to Vader. She licked her lips
and Han let her go from a fierce hug as she crawled uncertainly for Vader.
"Father?" The word bit but she still
managed it. "Father, that was.... horrible." She needed sympathy, she needed
him to tell her it was half her imagining, half exaggeration, but there
was no movement from the still figure, no sound but the heavy rasping of
Something had happened...
His head shot up. "Yes? Can this ship
go any faster?"
* * * *